sorry need to vent

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135

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  • AuddAlise
    AuddAlise Posts: 723 Member
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    I moved out when I was 16. You're over 18 and a legal adult. They can't make you stay. You're choosing to stay. This is a you problem; not a parent problem.

    The first time you may be a "victim"; but if you stay you become a willing participant.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    Nope, not all "22 year olds"......just you......\m/
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    Everyone here makes it sound so easy. .

    If you have no job. .and no money. . and few friends. . and no credit.. and no tools. . and you've been living under the authority of extremely controlling parents . .then how exactly do you just "move out" .. and "grow up" .? It can be done. . and I think in this situation that the OP really needs to get out of there. but It's not so easy as everyone here seems to think.

    Just because it's not easy doesn't mean it's not a valid suggestion.

    usually the toughest decisions are the ones you look back on later in life and are glad you made. life is risk.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
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    So you're saying your parents won't let you get a job, move out, learn to drive or date? Do you go to school? If they're paying for school, then that's a bit hard because that's probably a condition of going to school. HOwever, if you're not going to school....what are you doing? If you aren't in school, get a job & move out as mentioned. They have to let you grow up; you're an adult.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    You're 22 and only questioning these things now? You may be part of the problem, dearie!

    What would they do if you DID get a job? HOW exactly do they prevent you from getting a job or getting a permit? Please, explain. They've obviously granted you internet access.

    Are you asking permission? I'm SO confused.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    Just because it's not easy doesn't mean it's not a valid suggestion.

    usually the toughest decisions are the ones you look back on later in life and are glad you made. life is risk.

    THAT'S WHY I WRESTLED MY FAMILY TO DEATH

    DENY ME MY LEARNER'S PERMIT WILL YOU???
  • Begood03
    Begood03 Posts: 1,261 Member
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    1. Get a Drivers license.

    2. Get a job.

    3. Get your own place to live.
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
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    Everyone here makes it sound so easy. .

    If you have no job. .and no money. . and few friends. . and no credit.. and no tools. . and you've been living under the authority of extremely controlling parents . .then how exactly do you just "move out" .. and "grow up" .? It can be done. . and I think in this situation that the OP really needs to get out of there. but It's not so easy as everyone here seems to think.

    The OP should seek some professional help, starting with DCF and/or family counselling or a hot line. . Start there and they should be able to direct you to agencies and/or charities that can help you.

    Again, we seem to be on the same page.

    Furthermore, how do we know that "grandma" can help?

    Anyway, OP you do not need your parents approval. You are 22 and this kind of control is not normal.
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
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    I wish I could have seen the original post
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    If you live with your parents, your parents house, your parents rules. Don't like it, move out.

    I lived with my parents until I was almost 25. You bet your butt I was home before midnight on a "school night" and 2am on a weekend night. It's their house. They're generous enough to let me live there after I should've been long gone. And clean my clothes, feed me, cook for me, give me garage space for my car etc.
    they want let me move that's the point

    You're 22. You are an adult. You do not have to ask for permission to move. If you don't like your conditions, leave.
    I'm 23 and I moved out of my parents house 3 years ago, not because I didn't like them, I love them and their rules weren't strict at all, but they kept me safe. I moved out because I was an adult, I didn't need to live with them anymore, I could take care of myself.
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    In NO way do I mean any disrespect to you OP but I think there is much more going on here than being 22 and having rules. My best friend's brother is 22 years old and he cannot live on his own, he thinks he is an adult and shouldn't have rules but his PROFESSIONALS that assist him daily say differently. Sorry but either you are super super sheltered and need to escape or there is some VERY GOOD reason that you are living at home and using words like "Goodest". I'm sure your parents are looking out for YOU... don't like something? Sit down and talk to them about it. ... again, not trying to disrespect you but sounds like you have REASON to be at home.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    I'm going to stop trolling for a second and ask an honest question because it may make a difference in how people respond.

    Do you have a disability?
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    I'm going to stop trolling for a second and ask an honest question because it may make a difference in how people respond.

    Do you have a disability?

    I thought the same thing....
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
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    why are you still living with your parents at 22? If you don't like their rules then move out. Sounds like your parents are either 1) helicopter parents 2) you've shown little independence or 3) some combination of the two.

    ^^ This.

    I moved out of my parents house when I was 18, bought my first home when I was 20.
    If for some bizarre reason I had to move back in with them, I think I'd rather live on the streets
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
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    I understand your frustration with strict parents... but at the same time... their house, their rules... If you are so unhappy there, why not get a full time job and move out? I moved out when I was 22... like 3 months after I graduated college and had time to save up a little money. Sure I had to live on a strict budget... but it was worth it for me.
  • Amandamccl
    Amandamccl Posts: 380
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    I'm going to stop trolling for a second and ask an honest question because it may make a difference in how people respond.

    Do you have a disability?

    My whole family does actually as in my parents which my mom also has server seizures which neither of them work
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
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    I'm going to stop trolling for a second and ask an honest question because it may make a difference in how people respond.

    Do you have a disability?

    I thought the same thing....

    My bad. There you are OP! :) Do you have seizures too? My BFF from hs didn't get her license until she was much older bc of seizures. Maybe your parents are protecting you bc of this?
  • Ta2dchic20
    Ta2dchic20 Posts: 376 Member
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    Just curious, what kind of reasons do your parents give you for not wanting you to move out or increase your independence? I have a sneaking suspicion there's a little more going on here that you're not telling people.
  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
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    I'm 21 and I live at home. I have a curfew, I do chores, and follow rules. In return I get to live at home rent free while I attend college that is only costing me 10% of tuition because my dad works for the college I attend. I do not like that sometimes, if people have to be up early the next morning, they want me home at 10pm so my dog doesn't cry waiting for me to get home. I understand, however, that it's a respect thing and so I come home on time. I could move out any time I want to, but I'm willing to deal with curfew at 21 years old because of the other benefits.
    Is it easy to move out? Oh god no. But you can start your own credit line easily. You don't need their permission to get a DL, have a friend take you to the DMV.
    If you have a disability of some sort that's a completely different scenario. I couldn't read the original post so I don't know the situation, but talk to your parents if that's the case, that you feel like you aren't being allowed to advance, and maybe you can work something out. Being an adult is all about communication.
  • MoveTheMountain
    MoveTheMountain Posts: 764
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    Everyone here makes it sound so easy. .

    If you have no job. .and no money. . and few friends. . and no credit.. and no tools. . and you've been living under the authority of extremely controlling parents . .then how exactly do you just "move out" .. and "grow up" .? It can be done. . and I think in this situation that the OP really needs to get out of there. but It's not so easy as everyone here seems to think.

    The OP should seek some professional help, starting with DCF and/or family counselling or a hot line. . Start there and they should be able to direct you to agencies and/or charities that can help you.

    It's not necessarily easy, but it can be done. You need to set goals, plan how to achieve them, and then stick to the plan. Start with a single goal, and then reverse engineer what you need to do in order to achieve it. There might be other things you need to do first, which is fine - plan out how to achieve those, etc. Keep working backwards until you get to something you can do right now, today. Then, work the plan. It might take time, even a year or more. But if you don't start now, achievement of the goal will just keep receding off into the future.

    Yes, you're 22 - that's as much an opportunity as it is a constraint. You have everything in front of you. The decisions are yours. Work to get yourself in a situation where you're not dependent on your parents. Then you'll have your freedom.

    Best of luck. This is something many people go through, and you actually have a lot more control than you think. (Assuming your parents aren't actual wack-jobs who lock you in the basement and feed you through a slot in the door...)

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