The Kind of "Support" that isnt support at all...

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Replies

  • peuglow
    peuglow Posts: 684 Member
    As long as you're eating enough and being healthy, you're in the clear. I think you're right, your fam has never seen you at this light of a weight before, and sometimes it will make people uncomfortable to see a loved one lose this much weight (congrats btw!). If it makes them feel better let them know exactly HOW you're losing weight (your calorie deficit, your BMR, all that fun stuff we know). It could put their mind at ease that you're doing this intelligently and safely.
  • lucylousmummy
    lucylousmummy Posts: 348 Member
    *kitten* 'em all.

    I get spoken to/yelled at/ explain to, all the time by people that have no idea what they are talking about. I was 250 pounds for so long, everyone got use to seeing me that way. I am now 170 pounds, at the upper end of the BMI NORMAL scale, and everyone says I am too thin.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I am not too THIN. All the complainers are toooooo FAT and basically want me to be fat. I am sure it is the same for you.

    Good luck in your journey and keep on going. You are doing great.

    this exactly lol, ive got 3 friends who have all been discussing me and my weight loss and have come to the conclusion that i have taken it to far now and i'm starting to look ill........ i am still in the overweight bracket, i still have "issues" with various parts of my body (belly and chest mainly), and the only reason that i look ill sometimes is because i have 4 kids one of which has mental health problems and i'm stressed to the eyeballs pretty much 24/7 the ONLY thing that makes me feel better is exercise. i initially got really upset that they were talking about me behind my back then it dawned on me that all 3 of them are seriously overweight, have tried and failed at diets over and over again, and most importantly me succeeding is making them look bad so i've decided to think f**k em too. only i should decide when i have "done" with the dieting and there are only 2 people who i would listen to if they thought i was getting too thin, my husband and my mum

    if you cant talk to them about it and make them see your point of view then i'm afraid your just going to have to learn to ignore what they are saying
  • hugsee
    hugsee Posts: 36
    I am so thankful for my supportive family. I suffer with type 2 diabetes (both sides of family) and weight related. Then there is the osteoarthritis from lower back down. I have days where the pain is so intense but I have my dog who needs to walk. I dose up on my medication and get my sorry self down to the beach with her and I walk. Sometimes I walk with my sister and her dog coco and that is always good to do. I am so lucky in living around the corner from an amazing beach. Its longer than 4 miles have only managed a there and back once lol.

    We do have a friend though that is a size 10 and she always 'forgets' to eat...yeah right. She is always saying that she needs to drop some weight (god knows where from) I used to be a size 32 (ex partner liked me eating) and I am now in a size 18 and I feel terrific and setting a new goal for a size 16.

    Small goals make it so much nicer when you achieve them. I have also heard there is an aqua robics class near me starting up so will join that too. Anything to shift this tummy hips and thigh fat. All I can say is that since I joined (yesterday lol) I have found it to be an amazing place and wish I had joined earlier.

    Mums do tend to worry and your brother is probably jealous he hasnt got your will power so just say that you feel so good in your skin and that you are avoiding many unpleasant diseases by dropping the weight.

    Hats off to you for doing so well
  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
    I'm lucky in that my parents were incredibly active and fit their whole lives. Even though my mother is about 15lbs overweight right now, she still is in fantastic shape. So when she looks at me losing weight she knows I'm healthy and is supportive.

    The problem with the outside world, I am finding, is that people don't know what "normal" looks like anymore. For example, in the state I live in, ILlinois, a quarter of all people are *obese* and given I think five more years (I cna't remember the study I read to source it) it'll be half. HALF of the people in my state will be not even overweight, but "Obese" so of course to them, a normal healthy person looks thin and sick.

    Remember that you know your body best. You are doing amazing things and when people say things like that take it as a compliment.
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
    First of all, congratulations on your achievements thus far. You should be very proud of yourself; change isn't easy.

    As for your family, I hope you don't let them bully you off course. I don't know if they don't understand or if they resent you for doing something they can't (or won't), but either way - what is going on in their heads really doesn't have anything to do with you. It sounds like you are making positive changes that will serve you well, so keep doing what you're doing, and MFP will cheer you on when your family won't.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    I know she is trying to show me love but I think my life change makes them uncomfortable.

    You said it. But I doubt her intent is loving - I think it's mostly the discomfort that's showing when your family speaks to you.

    I think I'd be like, "I love you and I know you're trying to help, but I don't know if you realize how insulting it is to hear your comments about my body. I'm really happy with the changes I'm making. If you can't be happy for me, I'd rather just not talk about it"
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