Complimenting Conundrum
JAMProphet
Posts: 288 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, a question to everyone-
Seeing as how we are on a fitness website, where looks and appearances are a concern, I wonder:
What would you consider an acceptable and non-creepy way of a man telling a woman that they have an impressive body?
While there are, of course, ways in which this could be read with overtones of a sexual advance (and sometimes, it is meant that way) what if you simply want to say "wow! great body" to a woman. Is there a way to do this that is "ok?"
This question also applies beyond this online forum, as there is a woman at my gym who I think has an incredible physique; I'd like to tell her so, without coming off as pervy.
Discuss!
Seeing as how we are on a fitness website, where looks and appearances are a concern, I wonder:
What would you consider an acceptable and non-creepy way of a man telling a woman that they have an impressive body?
While there are, of course, ways in which this could be read with overtones of a sexual advance (and sometimes, it is meant that way) what if you simply want to say "wow! great body" to a woman. Is there a way to do this that is "ok?"
This question also applies beyond this online forum, as there is a woman at my gym who I think has an incredible physique; I'd like to tell her so, without coming off as pervy.
Discuss!
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Replies
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Well? What are your intentions?
There is no way to know what someone is going to think of what you said as mind-reading is entirely fictional at this juncture. But there's no reason that a friendly, "Hey, it looks like you've been working hard and it's definitely paying off!" would not be appreciated.
Even if you wanted a more garish compliment--"You look good!" or something of the like--after thinking that you are creepy, she may still appreciate the compliment. There is a girl I casually run into every once in a while who says I look like a runway model [I do]. Even though my initial thought is, "No chance," I am still appreciative of the acknowledgement and graciously thank her.0 -
Well, I think it depends on how easygoing a woman is. I think if you said "wow! great body!" to someone, it could be misconstrued as pervy. If I were you, I wouldn't start with that comment. First, I would say "hi" and then ask her something about herself. Maybe, say you have seen her around and that she is very toned (something along those lines). I would be flattered either way, but you don't want to sound like a horndog.0
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Even if you don't think you are being creepy, that's a subjective judgment that SHE gets to make.
I don't know what to tell you. Why is it important that you tell her she looks good? If a stranger told me I looked good, I'd find that a bit creepy. Are you going to ask her out? Then try it, I guess.0 -
Well? What are your intentions?
There is no way to know what someone is going to think of what you said as mind-reading is entirely fictional at this juncture. But there's no reason that a friendly, "Hey, it looks like you've been working hard and it's definitely paying off!" would not be appreciated.
Even if you wanted a more garish compliment--"You look good!" or something of the like--after thinking that you are creepy, she may still appreciate the compliment. There is a girl I casually run into every once in a while who says I look like a runway model [I do]. Even though my initial thought is, "No chance," I am still appreciative of the acknowledgement and graciously thank her.
"Hey, it looks like you've been working hard and it's definitely paying off!" - I like this one alot. It acknowledges what I think is the real underlying compliment I want to give- that the hard work is impressive and recognized. Thanks Doc!0 -
Well, I think it depends on how easygoing a woman is. I think if you said "wow! great body!" to someone, it could be misconstrued as pervy. If I were you, I wouldn't start with that comment. First, I would say "hi" and then ask her something about herself. Maybe, say you have seen her around and that she is very toned (something along those lines). I would be flattered either way, but you don't want to sound like a horndog.
"say you have seen her around and that she is very toned"
Another good one!0 -
"Yotch, you hot!"0
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I agree that adding a little extra like "you have great legs, you must be a runner!" helps to cut down on the creepy-ness factor. This is a really hard thing to judge though because some women are just uptight and will be offended no matter what. Personally, anytime a guy compliments me, even if it is creepy, I still like it. Everyone likes to feel noticed. To me the most important thing is that a compliment must be GENUINE. If it's genuine, you can usually tell, no matter how jumbled the words get when the come out. It also depends on what you do after. If you just pass by someone at the park, compliment, and continue on your way, not creepy. But if you stop in your tracks, look her up and down, and then continue looking after she passes and staring, could come off as pretty creepy LOL.
In general I try and cut guys some slack. They see a pretty girl and they get excited and can't help but say something stupid sometimes. I don't think all women are that cool about it though. Any women who gets super easily offended or put-off by a guy trying to give her a compliment is probably insecure to begin with.0 -
Honestly, I adore my hubby
and my full respects to him. As a married woman, if someone has an impressive body of course they work hard to maintain their psyche, I always compliment them. In my opinion, telling a lady that she looks great makes my day. I tell my male and female coworkers when they look great in terms of color choices and/or when they take a lunch break run. My hubby compliments me a lot but I know I have saddlebags and still under construction...I need to work harder to get bikini ready.
Gentle and graceful compliments are greatly appreciated from a 40 yo woman who gets high compliments from the general public, "You look great", I certainly want to believe this every day I get up!
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
"Yo, girl! You iz fiiiiiiiine"0
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Perhaps some context is helpful:
This arose after getting an email from a blog I subscribe to. The author is a Crossfit coach and Paleo Diet practitioner in Colorado. Living in AZ, I do not have delusions of grandeur and romance- I simply wanted to tell this blogger that she had an amazing physique (she does!)
As I thought about how to say this in an email, I also thought about the applications of this in reference to women who are in my physical presence, at the gym, or at the Crossfit place I go to- how do you compliment a woman on her physical appearance?0 -
"Yotch, you hot!"
BWAHAHAHA! I approve!0 -
"Yo, girl! You iz fiiiiiiiine"
Me gusta...0 -
"Hey there, I'm a loyal reader of your blog and I love checking in on your updates! Your advice is insightful and obviously it works--how long have you been working at your program to achieve those results?Perhaps some context is helpful:
This arose after getting an email from a blog I subscribe to. The author is a Crossfit coach and Paleo Diet practitioner in Colorado. Living in AZ, I do not have delusions of grandeur and romance- I simply wanted to tell this blogger that she had an amazing physique (she does!)
As I thought about how to say this in an email, I also thought about the applications of this in reference to women who are in my physical presence, at the gym, or at the Crossfit place I go to- how do you compliment a woman on her physical appearance?
Thanks so much for being a positive encouragement to me, even if you don't realize it!
In solidarity,
A Loyal Reader"0 -
Well, I think it depends on how easygoing a woman is. I think if you said "wow! great body!" to someone, it could be misconstrued as pervy. If I were you, I wouldn't start with that comment. First, I would say "hi" and then ask her something about herself. Maybe, say you have seen her around and that she is very toned (something along those lines). I would be flattered either way, but you don't want to sound like a horndog.
"say you have seen her around and that she is very toned"
Another good one!
Compliment her gym attire and then move forward with her great looking body! :blushing: :blushing: Just do it!0 -
In general I try and cut guys some slack. They see a pretty girl and they get excited and can't help but say something stupid sometimes. I don't think all women are that cool about it though. Any women who gets super easily offended or put-off by a guy trying to give her a compliment is probably insecure to begin with.
Thank you! Sometimes we can't help but be awkward
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"You look great"
(If you know they've been working out) "Wow, you've made great progress!"
Or ask for a tip on running longer, or diet (even if you don't need it) "because her body looks fantastic"0 -
A simple "I can tell you work out/eat well and your body shows it." should never be taken the wrong way. Unless you waggle your eyebrows and lick your lips at the same time, you should be fine.
I dunno, women who freak out about that stuff are silly. They should just say thank you and get over it.0 -
I want to add...
Just compliment a woman if you feel a need to. Even if we huff and puff it makes us all giddy on the inside. It's a big reason why many of us work so hard. We just want to look fit/pretty/sexy.0 -
A simple "I can tell you work out/eat well and your body shows it." should never be taken the wrong way. Unless you waggle your eyebrows and lick your lips at the same time, you should be fine.
I dunno, women who freak out about that stuff are silly. They should just say thank you and get over it.
100% agree on this expert advice...Well said darling!
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Damn girl, I wanna eat some sushi off of that body....always works on me!
LOL, Just be honest and genuine. She will appreciate the compliment!0 -
Damn girl, I wanna eat some sushi off of that body....always works on me!
Haha. That gets me every time. 0 -
"Hey there, I'm a loyal reader of your blog and I love checking in on your updates! Your advice is insightful and obviously it works--how long have you been working at your program to achieve those results?Perhaps some context is helpful:
This arose after getting an email from a blog I subscribe to. The author is a Crossfit coach and Paleo Diet practitioner in Colorado. Living in AZ, I do not have delusions of grandeur and romance- I simply wanted to tell this blogger that she had an amazing physique (she does!)
As I thought about how to say this in an email, I also thought about the applications of this in reference to women who are in my physical presence, at the gym, or at the Crossfit place I go to- how do you compliment a woman on her physical appearance?
Thanks so much for being a positive encouragement to me, even if you don't realize it!
In solidarity,
A Loyal Reader"
I sent the email right before I got this post, and wrote almost EXACTLY what you did. Great minds think alike!0 -
Nm haha0
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Damn girl, I wanna eat some sushi off of that body....always works on me!
LOL, Just be honest and genuine. She will appreciate the compliment!
That worked for me.0 -
Please don't do it. And women shouldn't say it to men either, unless you are close friends. I would be creeped out if someone said that to me, even if it was true.
ETA - if you really have to complement the person, complement them on their hard work at the gym. "Wow, you lift X pounds? That's awesome." But not their body.0 -
I would say praise the verb and not the noun.
Instead of "nice body" say "nice work".
Instead of "nice pecs" maybe... um... nevermind.0 -
Damn girl, I wanna eat some sushi off of that body....always works on me!
Haha. That gets me every time.
I will try it, and report my results 0 -
Please don't do it. And women shouldn't say it to men either, unless you are close friends. I would be creeped out if someone said that to me, even if it was true.
ETA - if you really have to complement the person, complement them on their hard work at the gym. "Wow, you lift X pounds? That's awesome." But not their body.
OK, I'm no religious expert, I try and stay out of it, but I do think that in some religions it is frowned upon to compliment the body because any kind of attention to the body is looked upon as negative. That being said, I do not think that is a reason NOT to compliment someone. To me that's like living in fear, "OMG I can't tell that girl she's cute, she might be offended!" I don't know about you, but I don't want to live my life that way. When I say a compliment I mean it, and if the person doesn't like it, well poo on them. The poster is right though there are other ways to approach the compliment.0 -
If a guy approached me at a gym and said, "I can tell you're a really hard worker, because you look really great. Kudos to you, and keep up the good job!" I would be flattered as hell.0
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Thanks all! this is great. Its like homework! I'm going to try this out and report on how it goes- I am really curious to see how people respond. After all, I think we ALL can use compliments and encouragement!0
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