When is it enough?

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  • Mainemaid
    Mainemaid Posts: 5
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    Congrats! I would be curious what your doctor thinks about continued weight loss. Everyone is built different. For example: my sister-in-law and I are almost the same height however she has a larger frame and wrist size. When she reached a BMI of 24 you could count her ribs/spinal bones, her collar bones were very sharp and her face drown in. When I have a BMI of 24 (we both had the same weight) I still have a double chin and a pot belly. We have the same doctor and she wants me about 20lbs less than her.
    Good luck and I hope you find an answer that works for you.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    it probably has a lot to do with your expectations from the start. If your goal was to weigh 120 and be ripped with muscle and have 15% body fat and 86 lbs later you are wearing a size 10-12 then I can see why you are picking yourself apart. you should really focus on your accomplishments instead of your shortcomings. I know, easier said than done! For me it helps to set specific goals and celebrate those wins. Even if they are minor to someone else or to my overall weightloss goal. I set a monthly goal for weightloss as well as several fitness challenges. keeps my energy high. As for knowing when I am there, I have a certain goal I'm working toward. But since I have never seen my adult frame at a healthy weight, that number may change as I get closer.
  • gaj87
    gaj87 Posts: 53 Member
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    You ask "when is it enough?" Depends on what you mean by enough. Enough weight lost? - Did you set a realistic goal weight for your age and size? Did you reach it? Then yes, it is enough. Is it enough exercising? Since exercise is something you will need to do to stay healthy then no, it is not enough.

    Most of us see our flaws and fixate on them. It is like having someone over and they say how clean the house is but all we can think of is the pile of mail on the counter that no one sees but us. Allow yourself and your body time to adjust to the new you?

    I'm 4'10.5" and have lost 72 pounds but do not have the body that I thought I would have. I went from a size 18W to a size 4 some size 2s, but all I see are the flaws. I talked to a personal trainer to see if the problems I saw and wanted changed were realistic. He felt that with time and a little work it was achieveable. I try not to fixate on the flaws but on what I've changed.

    In other words...enjoy the clean house.
  • mensasu
    mensasu Posts: 355 Member
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    With the amount of weight you have lost it can take quite a while for your skin to rebound. I have heard up to a year. That's likely adding to your jiggle. The hardest part is accepting what you look like with next to no clothing. After losing a lot of weight you will look great in clothes long before you *think* you look good naked.

    I would suggest you focus on continuing to eat healthy and exercising. It will take a while for your body to recognize its new "set point" and at that time may redistribute whatever cushioning remains into different areas. Right now it is likely still thinking in the old mode.

    BTW you're my height and my goal weight is 130, but I am also not really athletic so I don't have nor do I plan to have a lot of muscle. I don't expect to get to my goal until later next year as I still have 30 pounds to go. So if you really think you want to go lower than the 145 you're at, why not try for a few more pounds and see what you think of the results.

    And congrats on the progress you have made!
  • jozettesummers
    jozettesummers Posts: 7
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    You should never stop watching what you eat and working out, just make sure it is in a healthy way. You will continue to tone and get in shape in the long run if you continue to follow a diet and exercise plan!! You can't "quite" or you will gain the wait back.
  • CressidaJL
    CressidaJL Posts: 53 Member
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    It sounds like it'll NEVER be good enough, and I suspect that's a problem with your mind rather than your body. You have lost 7 stone which is an AMAZING accomplishment, and by rights you should be shimmying naked from the rooftops telling anyone who'll listen how proud you feel of yourself!

    A previous poster mentioned perhaps getting some therapy to help you deal with your insecurities & self-esteem issues, which seems like a sensible idea. Having lost the weight, chances are you look amazing, but if you don't *feel* it then it doesn't matter *what* your targets are, it's never going to be good enough for you.

    Go easy on yourself. Keep up the healthy eating & exercise, and perhaps remind yourself how far you've come, and allow yourself to feel proud of yourself. Self-esteem isn't an easy thing to accomplish, especially if you're used to self-hatred. Good luck. xxx
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Over the last 2 years I have lost 7 stones. I am 5'5" and now weight 145 lbs but I have a lot of muscle, I started at a size 20 and am now a 10/12. I thought when I lost all my excess weight that I would feel good about myself , my friends say i shouldn't lose anymore weight but when I look in the mirror all I see is the areas of my body that are fat or loose and don't feel that I have accomplished anything. Does anybody else feel like this, Is it normal and how do I accept my body how it is?

    I don't think it should ever be enough in some ways. Goal weight doesn't have to be the end of the 'journey'. To stay on track I constantly set new challenges for myself. None of my goals are weight related now, they are all fitness.

    Few people look in the mirror and think they have the perfect body (and those that do are usually pretty annoying). But that doesn't mean you can't love your body. It's no different than a child or a mate. They are never perfect, but you love them anyway.
  • BurkYoung
    BurkYoung Posts: 35
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    Isnt it nice to be worrying about when to stop as opposed to when to start ??? Just saying :-)
  • chandone01
    chandone01 Posts: 3 Member
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    Yeah I work out a lot, body attack, body pump and the gym, i am really fit but still all I see is my fat thighs and tummy.
  • BurkYoung
    BurkYoung Posts: 35
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    You have lost 7 stone which is an AMAZING accomplishment, and by rights you should be shimmying naked from the rooftops telling anyone who'll listen how proud you feel of yourself!

    This is now a classic :-)
  • jmeyer925
    jmeyer925 Posts: 326 Member
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    Isnt it nice to be worrying about when to stop as opposed to when to start ??? Just saying :-)

    ^^^ Awesome thought! Well put!
  • r28shultz
    r28shultz Posts: 1 Member
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    I've been to a few weight loss support groups and have been told that it can sometimes take up to 2 years before your mind adjusts/sees your body with it's new size. That makes sense to me - I know when I gained my weight, it seemed like one morning I woke up and thought, when did all this happen?

    Any chance you kept a pair of your "fat" pants? It helps me gain perspective when I can see where I've been vs where I am now
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
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    I feel you 100%, I still struggle with my body imagine after losing 87lbs. I realize I am average now, and not overweight, but I can't help but disagree sometimes when I look in the mirror. What I will do when I am really feeling gross about how I look is put on all the OLD clothes I kept from day 1 to remind me how far I have come and to be proud of that. I also stop sometimes outside a shop in the window and asks my friends 'do I really look like that' It can amaze me at times. I truly believe that it does take time for your mind to catch up, but I also agree with another poster that even the 'tiniest' people still feel they have flaws. We are our own worst critics.

    I have twins who are 6 years old, I am trying to remind myself (almost daily) that I have a stomach because of my kids and I need to accept that only surgery will fix it.

    It is still a hard struggle, but remember how far you have come, how much better you do truly feel about yourself, and how you NEVER EVER want to go back to your old weight - that helps me.

    Keep your chin up.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
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    Isnt it nice to be worrying about when to stop as opposed to when to start ??? Just saying :-)

    ^^^ Awesome thought! Well put!

    So true, very valid point.
  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
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    It's never enough
  • chandone01
    chandone01 Posts: 3 Member
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    Thanks, that really has cheered up no end!

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