I don't care how I get rid of it, I just want it gone.

It takes an incredible amount of courage to gain weight, lose it, and then try again. There is a certain amount of safety in being overweight, not expecting yourself to lose weight, which is so hard. It's nice to not worry about it, to accept that this is who you are, not to struggle.

But I really, really, don't like being heavy. And I spent most of my life being thin, smug, and superior. Thinking that people were overweight because they were weak, or lacking in some way. Imagine my surprise when I got pregnant and could not move, could not eat what I wanted to eat, could not stomach the sight of lean meat, or any meat, and just wanted BREAD. And after having a 11 lb baby (and no, he did not have gestational diabetes), i had quite a bit of weight left over.

I tried to lose it eating all organic food and exercise, and plateaued. I tried eliminating white carbs, all carbs, fats, alcohol. I watched my husband do P90X and lose 30 lbs like it was nothing. I despaired. I gained weight again, gave it up, figured, well, i guess this is the new normal. I work 50 hours a week, I've got a 2 year old. I have no time for myself.

So when my friend lost 40 lbs when she had 3 kids on a diet, I said, "sure, i'll try it." And I lost weight. I gave up food, and wine and dinners out with friends, I didn't work out, and i lost weight. So, I was happy for a time. and then I plateaued. Even though I'd lost so much, even though I looked so much better, even though I had a normal BMI for the first time since I was pregnant. I gave up again.

And then, I took months to get the courage to try again. What if it didn't work this time? What if I was doomed to be overweight forever? Finally, I went on vacation with family, relaxed, rested, and made a plan. I used to like biking. I used to like endorphins. I wanted them again. So, I started back up with the diet, and back with the exercise. I feel much better when I'm exercising, it seems like the endorphins go a long way toward making me feel better about myself. But as usual, I have my first winter cold, and can't exercise.

So...I'm a little depressed and i started reading the community boards. People... why do you assume that you know whether diets work? What right do you have to take away someone's hope? I don't care how I lose the weight, and don't go preaching to me about what is healthy or not. I'm just happy when I see the numbers on the scale go down. I try to do it the best that I can but the general consensus seems to be:
'"it took you this long to gain it so you must remain x amount of time out of breath, you must stay out of regular stores, you must accept your fate and only by eating all natural foods and exercise this way or that will you have atoned for the terrible behavior that got you into this mess in the first place"

Now, I'm not advocating starving yourself or anorexia or bulemia. But working with a doctor (My primary care physician) to lose weight and get my health back in order seems to be pretty reasonable. Devising ways to motivate myself to exercise more, and remember the joy of how my body used to feel, that's helpful. But tearing people down and telling them why "they are fat" seems so counterproductive.

Now that I can see I'm losing weight again, I'm encouraged. i have hope that I'll look the way I do on the old expired drivers license that i refuse to throw away. It's the encouragement that helps. It's the "great job" posts when I lose .2 lbs on my progress chart. I've accepted that I'm not able to lose weight "the right" way. I need help. I need to see progress. What I don't need, is preaching.

And once and for all, you CAN lose weight by lifting weights, OR by cardio, or by both. Cripes people.