What age is too young to...

2

Replies

  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    Regardless of your age, if you are still considering having another child, then I don't think having your tubes tied is a good idea--why take an option off the table if you're still considering it? It just doesn't make sense to me.

    Personally, I don't want any children, but have had a hard time finding a doctor who is willing to sterilize a woman who doesn't already have children. :(
  • azwaa
    azwaa Posts: 81 Member
    If you're married, what is your husband's view of having a vasectomy? Seems like the more logical, less invasive choice.

    My thoughts exactly. My husband said that if I was the one giving birth, he would be the one going under the knife. It is way cheaper, more effective, and less invasive.

    The key to your question is you need to know in your heart you are completely done with having children, 75% is not enough. It took until baby number 6 before I finally got that feeling where I could go my family feels done. A lot of my friends got that feeling after two, some after baby one, some before they even had a child. Surgical birth control, like tubals or vasectomys are considered permanent, so don't do it unless you know in your heart your family is complete. If you can say with confidence your family is complete, go for whatever method you choose.
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
    I'm 22 and I want mine done. I don't have kids. I love kids to pieces but I am quite a selfish person when it comes to sleep, me time and work and they are definitely not for me! I babysit quite often and I am glad to get away even after a couple of hours!

    I know that no doctor would even consider doing it for me but I'm 100% sure I would not like kids.

    I don't think 26 is too young, especially if you already have a child. :)
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    I decided at 21 that I didn't want children and got a vasectomy. The doctors were the ones who were reluctant to do it because they were afraid I would change my mind later. It took visit 3 different ones before I was able to convince one I was serious. I am now 45 and have never regretted my choice.

    My brother did the same...except he lied and told them he had a kid so they were more willing to do it. Like you, he doesn't regret it. I wish I could lie about having had kids, but I imagine on a woman it's pretty obvious to a doctor.
  • Lifting_chick
    Lifting_chick Posts: 275 Member
    I wanted to have my tubes tied after I had my daughter, but the doc. wouldn't do it...he said I was to young 23 and I might change my mind. Now I also have a son and I love him but he was a surpise and I did get my tubes tied after I had him...no more surprises for me. I think docs should listen to what we want, instead of telling us what they think.
  • after my second baby i had my tubes tied. i knew in the future i would want another one but thinking logically i am happy with two babies i can provide a happy comfortable home for them. so i put aside the what if i decide to change my mind and went ahead and did it. and im happy about it because the decisions made and whenever i get an urge it can just be a day dream from now on. which makes me appreciate my children more. i am 24 i have a 3 year old and a 22 month old. sorry for all the typos im still working on my coffee...:drinker:
  • JanineHarrison
    JanineHarrison Posts: 164 Member
    I'm sure everyone 'at a young age' gets told that they are too young to know what they want. No one 'at a young age' believes that. However, sometimes it is true - but you won't know it until something happens. Do what you want to, but the best way to avoid regret is to really think it through and seriously consider the reprocussions of each choice and remind yourself later of why you made that decision if things you didn't think were going to happen actually happen. Life can change in an instant, will you be at peace with your decisions if it does? Like many others have said, if you aren't sure maybe it would be good to wait.
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
    Had a vasectomy at 28. Have never regretted it...especially now that I have a Sophomore in High School and I see all these late 50's parents picking up and dropping off their kids.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    I'd do it right now if I could. No kids, don't want any. Never will.


    I've decided to be childless by choice since I was 24. Now I'm 29. I'm not changing my mind.
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
    Just a suggestion... why not try the hormone inserts where you aren't supposed to to worry about birth control etc for like 5 years ans see how you feel after that?
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    Seems kind of like a double standard that you can get an abortion easier than your tubes tied when at a certain age. Not trying to start a debate on what is ethical or not, just an observation. It is the 75% that concerns me though..95% or higher seems ideal to me.

    I adore you for this comment! Like you said not debating the ethics of it - but an AWESOME observation

    I'm a single mom with an almost 6y.o. .... I go back & forth on this issue b/c I'll be 39 when my daughter graduates - I gave up my 20s to be a mom (willingly and have never regretted that decision) and kinda looking forward to my 40s to be honest haha
    I didn't get to have my proper selfish time
    I still sometimes get baby fever and have some small shred of hope of meeting a great guy. I'll be 27 in 3 months and have basically said if my love life is the same by the time I'm 30, I'm done. I won't start over when I'll have a 9y.o. kid; I don't want to.

    Anyways, I'm at that 75% and want to wait till I'm at the 95%
  • MaliceForAlice
    MaliceForAlice Posts: 5 Member
    I am 18 and I want my tubes tied. I absolutely hate kids. I hated kids when I was a kid. My fiancee hates kids. I feel there is no reason for myself to not get this done. I do not care if people tell me if I was too young. Especially because I decided if I ever DID want a kid, I was going to adopt.
  • Donnaakamagmid
    Donnaakamagmid Posts: 198 Member
    I was 21, after my 2nd child.

    :smile: I was 100% sure I didn't want anymore. You should be too.
  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
    I have not had kids and therefore this isn't even something I'm thinking about. But my mom was 22. She got it done right after having my little brother. She had a kid who was 4 and a newborn, my dad was 21, and they didn't plan on either of us, and it seemed like the right decision for her. They were absolutely certain they wanted no more kids. And while they love us both, I don't think my parents ever would have had kids if they planned it. If you are 100% positive no more kids, I don't think you are too young at all.
  • Donnaakamagmid
    Donnaakamagmid Posts: 198 Member
    I am 18 and I want my tubes tied. I absolutely hate kids. I hated kids when I was a kid. My fiancee hates kids. I feel there is no reason for myself to not get this done. I do not care if people tell me if I was too young. Especially because I decided if I ever DID want a kid, I was going to adopt.


    Good for you. Too many people who hate kids bring them into the world and then are shi!!ty parents. I admire you having the guts to stand up for what you know is right for you!:drinker:
  • I REGRET it so Badly :( I was 27 at the time and I have 4 kids. At the time, I was positive I wanted it done. Now, it eats away at me. If I could go back and change it, I would. I personally would advise you to wait awhile. You want to make 110% sure you do not want another. Think about for a long time.
  • MrsPong
    MrsPong Posts: 580 Member
    I'm 24 and have a 4 year old. I have a copper IUD which gives me 10 years of protection. I go back and forth about wanting another one, most of the time we don't. But even if I choose too, I have the option to.

    Maybe an IUD first because you can't take it out and put it back in whenever you feel like. (took mine out last Oct and decided this past Jan I didnt want another baby and put it back in)
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I'm 27 with two kids and 100% sure I don't want more. The doctors refuse to do it without it being a medical need. My insurance refuses to pay for it unless it is a medical need at this point.
  • christy_frank
    christy_frank Posts: 680 Member
    Get an IUD. I got one that was good for up to 10 years. I just had it removed after my husband went under the knife.
    I think getting your tubes tied this early is too drastic.
  • mtbke5
    mtbke5 Posts: 96 Member
    I would speak to your OB about this. There are many options out there beside a tubal and give you the same protection against having a child. I just had a nexplanan inserted and it lasts three years but still gives me all the protection and benefits of taking birth control without having to take a pill everyday.
  • thedeegan4
    thedeegan4 Posts: 422 Member
    I'm 31, my youngest just turned 4. My husband had a vascectomy a couple years ago and now I'm having baby fever again. I say go for a less permanent type of birth control.
  • quietasariot
    quietasariot Posts: 198 Member
    It depends on the person. If you are absolutely sure about it - go for it. If you're wishy washy - don't do it.
    My husband had a vasectomy done in 2008 - he was 24 - and neither of us regret it. But we were really happy with our two kids and we don't want anymore.
  • Get your tubes tied? I'm 26 and I'm about 75% sure I don't want another child (I only have one) and at times I feel like the only thing that keeps me even thinking about having another, is that nothing "solid" has been done to prevent it. I feel like if i just go ahead and have my tubes tied, then I won't be incline to even think about it any more. Your thoughts.

    I wouldn't do it. Get implanted birth control - the IUD that lasts 5 years.

    You don't know how much you are going to change in the next 10 years. You don't know where life will take you and you may reach a point that you want another child. If you do something so permanent you will never have that option again. I have two children and was 150% confident that was all I wanted by age thirty. Then my youngest turned three and I got baby fever again out of the blue. I didn't have a third (glad I didn't) but I was shocked that it crossed my mind and was actually a consideration because my whole life I only wanted two.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    I got mine done with my second c-section. I was 25.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Had a vasectomy at 28. Have never regretted it...especially now that I have a Sophomore in High School and I see all these late 50's parents picking up and dropping off their kids.

    I am *so* glad that I my kids in my early 20s. I can't imagine getting pregnant again at this point. I know that some women have kids later in life, but it must be a lot harder on your body.
  • Jenny_Taylia
    Jenny_Taylia Posts: 540 Member
    Im 26 and have 4 little ones. I do not want anymore children but the thought of never being able to get pregnant again kills me.

    So hubby got snipped.... He wa 31
  • ann162
    ann162 Posts: 15 Member
    I feel it is a personal choice. But here is my experience, I have 3 daughters and had my tubes tied at 33, and I wish I hadn't! I have had so much trouble since I had it done. I had severe bleeding and pain 3 weeks out of the month, this went on for almost a year! I had to go back on birth control pills to control all of the symptoms I was having. So here I am 39 still on birth control pills and have my tubes tied.

    My cousin had hers tied at 26 after having 2 kids, and ended up having to have a complete hysterectomy at 28 because of complications from her tubal.

    Not trying to be down on tubal ligation but I would look into all other options before making a permanent decision.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    My mom did it after having us three girls. She has the best of both worlds. She was around 31 when she had it done. Not as young as you but still pretty young.

    I would leave it up in the air until 35 or so if I was you. That's my plan. I say 35 years because after that age things can get more complicated/risky for the child/mother I've heard. (Nothing wrong with giving birth after that age obviously!!)

    But yeah.... don't shoot yourself in the foot and lose out on any missed opportunities. Enjoy the best of both worlds right now by just having yourself protected somehow from getting pregnant. Later down the road if you are 100% confirmed then go through with it. I wouldn't make it an all or nothing type of thing.
  • dodihere
    dodihere Posts: 490
    Don't. Hang in there.
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
    It's your choice. And there means to "fix" it or other routes if you so decide to have another child.