So tired of starting over

Whats wrong with me...this week has been just hectic everyday I wake up I say I wont cheat today..and at the end of the day I'm beating myself up..since Monday I just been eating like I don't care...I'm 339lbs..I have gained 4lbs in a week and I'm just so angry. I am a stress eater I always have been and I just really need some help..my goal weight is 160 but my mini goal is to lose 10lbs first and celebrate that and then set another one. I just don't know i have 180lbs to lose that seems impossible but I'm so tired of being fat..need to be encouraged..this week has been rough..
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Replies

  • I will be your friend, Girl don't get discouraged. As I am learning but don't always take my own advice is each day is new. You can beat your self up. You need to move on. You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    Whats wrong with me...this week has been just hectic everyday I wake up I say I wont cheat today..and at the end of the day I'm beating myself up..since Monday I just been eating like I don't care...I'm 339lbs..I have gained 4lbs in a week and I'm just so angry. I am a stress eater I always have been and I just really need some help..my goal weight is 160 but my mini goal is to lose 10lbs first and celebrate that and then set another one. I just don't know i have 180lbs to lose that seems impossible but I'm so tired of being fat..need to be encouraged..this week has been rough..

    embrace it as a change in lifestyle and not a short term diet and then there is no such thing as "cheating". just try to be on your calorie target more days than not, and try to keep your weekly and monthly totals on track, and then you have no reason to feel guilt or shame if you eat over your calories some days.
  • fiesta73
    fiesta73 Posts: 1 Member
    You Should never give up.When you fall down you get back up and start all over.If you beat your self up you really will stay down.It's hard ,but keep on trying
  • Hang in there. It WILL get better.
  • weight loss and fitness are a slow process! we see so many ads for quick fixes, and see the fast results on biggest loser but in real life it is much slower... it can be hard to stay motivated when change is not immediately visible but you must BELIEVE that what you are doing is helping to achieve your goals. You can do this!
  • frosty73
    frosty73 Posts: 424 Member
    I don't know about you, but I've been failing miserably because of stress and pain. Food is my comfort. I'll be glad to "friend" you and maybe we can work through it together.
  • recee96
    recee96 Posts: 224 Member
    add me as your friend. We will walk through this journey! You have to get control of your stress eating. I know it's easier said than done...but that's important to have a gameplan when stress comes around again!
  • LoriA6724
    LoriA6724 Posts: 99 Member
    Mini goals are great to have! You need to just concentrate on your first one for now. I also think having MFP friends is a HUGE help! Try to make as many as you can. Find ones who will help motivate you. When I first started MFP, I did it on my own. I can't imagine that now. Also, make sure your diary is open. It has really helped me since I opened mine. I receive great tips. I also know everyone can read it and that keeps me from eating things I shouldn't. I also know that when I have a bad day and I go over on my calories, my friends will point out what I did right. We all have days (and weeks) that we don't do so well.

    Please feel free to add me if you like. I hope next week is better for you. :)
  • mulderpf
    mulderpf Posts: 209 Member
    Whats wrong with me...this week has been just hectic everyday I wake up I say I wont cheat today..and at the end of the day I'm beating myself up..since Monday I just been eating like I don't care...I'm 339lbs..I have gained 4lbs in a week and I'm just so angry. I am a stress eater I always have been and I just really need some help..my goal weight is 160 but my mini goal is to lose 10lbs first and celebrate that and then set another one. I just don't know i have 180lbs to lose that seems impossible but I'm so tired of being fat..need to be encouraged..this week has been rough..

    embrace it as a change in lifestyle and not a short term diet and then there is no such thing as "cheating". just try to be on your calorie target more days than not, and try to keep your weekly and monthly totals on track, and then you have no reason to feel guilt or shame if you eat over your calories some days.

    +1
  • DebraYvonne
    DebraYvonne Posts: 632 Member
    Try to be kind to yourself in a a non-food way and say positive things to yourself. Small things make a big difference. I have those weeks where nothing goes right and seems like life throws lots of curve balls but hang in there -- you can do it!!! You are already on the right track!
  • cindybowcut
    cindybowcut Posts: 250 Member
    I hear you. I have done so well for the last year, but this week I have been on a pity party, poor pity me. As I am an emotional eater, I haven't eaten well all week. Yesterday I was going through some pictures and found this quote. "Don't let on bad day (week) kill your confidence and progress". I am going to post this all over so that I don't forget. I have to remember how much happier I am now than I was before. I refuse to go back to being that unhappy person. I am going to get over myself and continue on my journey. Feel free to add me as a friend if you need any extra support. WE can do this.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,290 Member
    Food doesn't really make you feel better...it ends up making you feel worse. Think back to when you started....all the reasons you decided to lose weight. Write them down...put them on your bathroom mirror...your refrigerator. Anywhere you need to see them.

    Ten pound mini goals are very realistic. And the more you weigh, the faster your weight comes off for awhile. But its ultimately up to you. No one can stop you from putting food in your mouth. You have to want it more than anything.
  • Gramps251
    Gramps251 Posts: 738 Member
    You can do this.

    I know that exercising really helps with my stress level and kills my appatite. Maybe it will work for you.

    Hang in there.
  • I personally think that it just clicks one day and you just do it. I have done the yo-yo thing many times. Do good for couple weeks then fall off the wagon. Hate myself then go back to being old self. We were on a family vacation and we were walking by some shops and I saw a reflection of myself in the window and it clicked! I'm done looking like this! The day we got home I started. I have been doing MFP religiously since October 1st and have lost 20 lbs! I'm only about half way there but it's been easy. I get up and run every day and eating right has been easy too. Don't know what makes the CLICK go off in a person but I am glad it happened.

    Stay positive and just go for it. You will have a hard day here and there but you can do it. You have a lot of people here for support so come here when you need it. Go get it Girl!
  • carebear7951
    carebear7951 Posts: 404 Member
    I am also a food-addict/comfort eater. I am really with you lately. I'm constantly struggling, overeating and then beating myself up and feeling frustrated! The best thing I know (and I'm talking to myself as much as you here) just think of it like other addictions do: ONE DAY AT A TIME. Or even one minute at a time if you have to. Whatever that food is (for me it's pizza or candy)..."I won't eat that food for this minute/hour/day/etc!!!!!" We can do this. Hang in there and neither one of us should give up.
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    Whats wrong with me...this week has been just hectic everyday I wake up I say I wont cheat today..and at the end of the day I'm beating myself up..since Monday I just been eating like I don't care...I'm 339lbs..I have gained 4lbs in a week and I'm just so angry. I am a stress eater I always have been and I just really need some help..my goal weight is 160 but my mini goal is to lose 10lbs first and celebrate that and then set another one. I just don't know i have 180lbs to lose that seems impossible but I'm so tired of being fat..need to be encouraged..this week has been rough..

    it sucks, and I feel your pain. I started out here 10 months ago at 228lbs--my highest weight ever, even higher than when I delivered any of my kids!

    Try making little changes first--walk a little extra, drink one less pop, or one extra glass of water. Once you are used to that, then add another good habit.

    when you feel munchy, and you KNOW it is a stress reaction, try doing something active instead. Or if you really just HAVE to eat, maybe it can be something that is not as bad for you--like carrots, popcorn, etc ( I have heard that crunching is calming)

    I can be an emotional eater too. I swear I packed on 50lbs in about 5 years by self medicating my stress and depression--and my 'drugs' of choice are made by hershey and nestle. Now I try to get a solid 2 hours of cardio a week ( 30 minutes 4x a week) to work off some of the stress.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    Since your diary is closed, I don't know how much you are limiting your calories each day, but if you have a really low calorie allowance for the day, you could be setting yourself up for failure. It might be better to plan for a slower loss and eat more calories each day. Then you won't feel the need to "cheat" because you won't be starving all the time. You'll still lose weight, but not as fast and it will be more likely to stay off for good.
  • 1gotthis
    1gotthis Posts: 1 Member
    I started this in March and then again in Aug...and I just restarted 2 days ago....I am glad you shared your story..I thought I was the only one who tries hard, but seems to fail:( don't give up...
  • ripemango
    ripemango Posts: 534 Member
    Nothing is wrong with you. You are a capable person worthy of a healthy existence.

    Try not to look at it as starting over again. Everyday we start over. Each day, each meal and snack we make a choice. Sometimes we choose better than others. This is a lifelong decision and I know you know that!

    Log your food and break up your ultimate weightloss goal into mini 1s. Don't think about 180 lbs, just don't. Think about beating the 300s, then 250, etc.

    You CAN do this :))
  • drakechic08
    drakechic08 Posts: 156 Member
    Maybe you start with a focus on something other than food. Set a goal of working out so many days or for so many minutes. Hit that goal and then set another mini goal. Food wise, start small. Focus on making better choices at a certain meal. After you have done this successfully for a week or two, go on to conquer a second meal and so on. Its all about making small changes that will build upon each other. Even just focus on drinking enough water. It will start to become natural and the weight will start to come off. I would also recommend focusing on measurements instead of weight, because you might not see weight changes but you might see inches change and you will want to see any progress you make so you dont get discouraged. This is a lifelong committment, not just a temporary one. We all have bad days, weeks and even months, but it is about pushing through them and not beating ourselves up. You will succeed. Just keep a positive attitude and everything else will follow.
  • vmekash
    vmekash Posts: 422 Member
    First, there is a great quote floating around weight-loss inspiration sites -- "If you're tired of starting over, stop quitting."
    That said, even if you start over every single day, I bet you're still doing better than you were before deciding to use MFP.
    I wish you much luck in this journey. You'll get there. When you're ready, it won't be so hard to stay focused. :bigsmile:
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    do you exercise? it has helped me so much. I have such a huge weightloss goal ahead of me that without exercise I don't think I could do it.

    1. it gives you energy and boosts metabolism
    2. it makes you feel proud of your fitness accomplishments
    3. it curbs appetite
    4. it helps you work through stress. I am so stressed right now but I just sweat it out.
    5. it gives you more wiggle room with your diet. you can have some higher caloric intake with exercise than without.
    6. sore muscles is a sign of use. its the quickest result. Within hours of a workout I feel sore but might not see inches lost or pounds lost yet. I'm results oriented.
    7. weightloss with exercise is more likely to stay off. exercise helps make it a lifestyle change rather than a diet to stick to.
    8. weightloss with strength training in particular is more likely to help with having lots of excess skin
    9. getting skinny won't make you fit. (you might have less flab but it'll still be flab) to be toned takes exercise.
    10. exercise strengthens your heart and lungs. strength training in particular is beneficial to bones and organ health

    I don't mean for any of this to sound like a lecture but I just feel exercise (which I used to HATE and now I LOVE) has changed my life and I wanna tell the world! There will always be rough days. Days that are harder to stick to plan. But through exercise I never feel like giving up anymore. It has been the best motivation tool for me. I look at how far I have come and what I'm accomplishing and I just wanna work even harder. Diets can't be all about restricting and taking away. cheating. forbidden foods. Try incorporating something awesome instead of depriving yourself. We tend to be naturally rebellious so as soon as I say I can't have ____ then I want it even more. But I'm also naturally competitive. So set a fitness goal and conquer it! Good luck to you! I know you can do it!!!
  • lewcompton
    lewcompton Posts: 881 Member
    My goal starts fresh every day... Decide today to do the best that you can today... try to eat often but keep the calories down... Drink lots of water and move more... I weigh a little less than you do now and I was over 425 just over four months ago. It isn't about how much I have to lose its about doing as well today as I can. If the best you can do today is not to eat a large pizza and eat some salmon and salad instead then count that as a success. If you gained four pounds last week aim to only gain a pound this week. Its an improvement. Pick something to eliminate and do so... Soda would be a good place to start... Replace it with water, the kidneys and the waistline will thank you.
  • Tannedtiffers
    Tannedtiffers Posts: 558 Member
    never ever give up! just take it one day/one meal at a time.


    don't be harsh on yourself.
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
    You can do this!! The road may seem very long right now, but I'm telling you from personal experience, it is worth the hard work and frustration. It is not going to be easy, bit it is soooo worth it. Don't beat yourself up about cheating. It's done, it's over with, you can't change it. Just start tomorrow over, and get on track. Portion control, moderation and exercise are the only 3 keys you need.

    You WILL lose that 10 lbs! Then you will lose that 20, and then before you know it. You see 180 lbs lost on your weight ticker, and you'll say to yourself "Wow, that time flew by"

    When your having a bad day, just look at this.
    35536284530034962_Z9JEwOU0_c.jpg

    Every. Single. Day. is a new one. So hop back on the wagon, and take control!
  • thickmadame80
    thickmadame80 Posts: 20 Member
    Just start over the next day and continue to try. I was a stress eater and an emtional eater. I had to get my stresser out of the way and another things is I pray for God to give me strength. You can do it. I am a single mother of 5 yr old twin girls and I know how life can be so overwhelming, but you can do it.Do you have an accountablity partner? That does help as well. I have 2. See I need double the help, but with them and this app and site I have been able to do ok. I started my journey 11/1/12 and by 11/19/ i have lost 8 lbs. I am wanting to lose between 80-100 and it will happen.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I saw a post once that said, "If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up!"

    I started at 376, and am 1/2 way to where I want to be - having just had a reality check after 3 weeks of being a bit de-railed. Emotional/stress eating is what I do to.

    BUt starting now, the wining, excuses, wallowing and negative self-talk STOP. Focus on what you can do NOW (not during the rest of the day - it's a moment by moment sort of thing) to keep you on the path to where you want to be tomorrow?

    Start by being the best food logger ever. Then add drinking 8 glasses of water a day to the list (don't be caught without a glass or bottle of water that's within reach). Once those are under control, focus on protein and fiber intake. A nutritionist told me if you focus on lean healthy proteins, the fat/carbs will take care of themselves, and I've found that to be pretty much true. If you get hungry have something protein or something fiber before having some sort of carb. If you get derailed - the sooner you pick yourself up and dust yourself off, the better. ("Okay, Self. That moment of temporary insanity is over. The hoover button is now switched off - Back on track.")

    One step at a time - You CAN do this!
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
    Learn new ways to deal with stress in some other way than turning to food so that you have options when you're feeling overwhelmed. Some people go to therapy, some use prescription anti-anxiety/depression medication, some meditate, some do yoga, some take a walk, some practice deep breathing, some people smoke cigarettes/MJ, some people call a friend to vent... and sometimes you just have to eat that candy bar and get back on the healthy horse at your next meal. Don't give up because of 4 lbs gained. I gained 10 lbs recently because of literally just neglecting my better judgement. You just got to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get back on the horse. Otherwise, you let the fat win.
  • Can you focus in on what's causing you stress and try to find a way to cope with that? If you're stress-eating, maybe shift your focus to what's causing your stress so that you can move forward confidently towards your goals.