mind your own business please -.-
EnneOrra
Posts: 12
Wow...I just want to cry right now.
I was writing with my mother a few minutes ago, and she told me, that SEVERAL people asked her if I've gained weight, because I look bigger than before on fotos..
that hurted so much. i'm one year abroad right now, and to know that people at home talk about me like that...it's really hard to hold back my tears. they don't know what i'm going trough at the moment, so why cant they just shut up and take care of their own business?
I was writing with my mother a few minutes ago, and she told me, that SEVERAL people asked her if I've gained weight, because I look bigger than before on fotos..
that hurted so much. i'm one year abroad right now, and to know that people at home talk about me like that...it's really hard to hold back my tears. they don't know what i'm going trough at the moment, so why cant they just shut up and take care of their own business?
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Replies
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Aww I'm sorry...people are mean sometimes, im sure they don't realise the hurt they cause.
Chin up..you do this for YOU and sod the others..wait till they get photos of you with your weightloss!
That'll show em ! :flowerforyou:0 -
Don't be hurt by other people's comments... Just remember... you can't change what other people do or say, but you can change the way you react to it! Look up and see the sunshine!
Good luck in your journey..0 -
Hey use it as motivation to achieve your weight goals, then you'll be crying with laughter. There is a positive in everything if you look hard enough. Good luck and don't let it get you down, use it to focus. Best wishes.0
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I know just how you feel as I have been on the receiving end of barbed comments about weight. The biggest hurdle to overcome is how you react. Whatever you do, you should do it for YOU - not for anyone else. Often these people who make these comments aren't exactly role models themselves. Try and not take it too heart - not easy I know. Tell your mum how hurt you feel. Chin up and stick two fingers up when you get to where you want to be.0
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Sorry people are saying that!
No one has the right to do that, especially say it to your mum! How rude!
You can do this. You have friends on mfp who can support you and motivate you.
Keep you head held high and you can achieve all you want to achieve!!!
:flowerforyou:0 -
thank you all, you are right..i should take this as motivation.
it's not like my mom wants to hurt me, i know that. or, somehow she wanted, but thats her way to make me move my *kitten*, because she knows it's unfortunately the best way to make me change anything when i'm hurt.. :mad:
so i'm not angry with her..just with all those other people...0 -
Hey use it as motivation to achieve your weight goals, then you'll be crying with laughter. There is a positive in everything if you look hard enough. Good luck and don't let it get you down, use it to focus. Best wishes.
This!!!!!!0 -
I'm sorry people felt the need to comment on your weight (maybe gain) to your mom. I'm even more sorry that your mom felt the need to share that with you! As a mom, I'd keep that sort of chatter to myself. If I, personally, had concerns about my child's weight, I'd not use other people's comments as a springboard to discuss it.
Everyone is a critic or an expert on everyone else's situations. Just know that you DO have the power, strength and capacity to get through your difficult situations AND to work on attaining a healthier weight!0 -
Also keep in mind that they may have health concerns based on their illnesses. You do not look unfit or overweight in the profile pic you have but with my family history of diabetes and heart conditions it may be out of concern. You have to take some things with a grain of salt and move forward. If the grain of salt don't work my dad always said "follow up the salt with tequilla and lime". Smile and know you are a strong woman and continue to work towards your goals...0
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thank you all, you are right..i should take this as motivation.
it's not like my mom wants to hurt me, i know that. or, somehow she wanted, but thats her way to make me move my *kitten*, because she knows it's unfortunately the best way to make me change anything when i'm hurt.. :mad:
so i'm not angry with her..just with all those other people...
Right now you've got all the motivation you'll need.
Take what they said, prove them wrong, and shove it in their faces. Show them just what you're made of. Show yourself. You'll be surprised of just what you're capable of.
And next time they see you they won't believe their eyes.0 -
Hey use it as motivation to achieve your weight goals, then you'll be crying with laughter. There is a positive in everything if you look hard enough. Good luck and don't let it get you down, use it to focus. Best wishes.
This!!!!!!
yep this!!!!0 -
thank you all, you are right..i should take this as motivation.
it's not like my mom wants to hurt me, i know that. or, somehow she wanted, but thats her way to make me move my *kitten*, because she knows it's unfortunately the best way to make me change anything when i'm hurt.. :mad:
so i'm not angry with her..just with all those other people...
Right now you've got all the motivation you'll need.
Take what they said, prove them wrong, and shove it in their faces. Show them just what you're made of. Show yourself. You'll be surprised of just what you're capable of.
And next time they see you they won't believe their eyes.
Boom!0 -
I agree with everyone who say use it as motivation. Turn a negative into a positive and remembe that there are, sadly, a lot of people out there who feel better about themselves when they criticise others.
Who are these people, anyway? Are THEY gaining weight? Do they need to improve themselves physically (cos I think we can all see they need to improve themselves mentally!)? Are they happy with their body? Are they happy with themselves?! I bet it's a no to at least one of the above. And I bet, because they feel bad about something or other, they like to criticise other people.
So yes, use it as motivation. Do what you have to do and do it healthily. There's no rush and you'll get better results if you do it properly. Think of the day you're strutting in front of them and how gutted they'll be!
And enjoy the journey and don't feel bad about yourself because there is no need to. You'll knock them dead with your progress one day, but chances are they're either jealous already for some other reason, or they're just miserable people.
(And I really do feel for you, but honestly - dry your eyes and move on, move up, move forward. Haters gonna hate and all of that)0 -
People say stupid stuff all the time (and usually without us even knowing). What they said probably just stems from pure nosiness and I don't think their intentions are always just to be mean. I know that doesn't really change much but some people just like to talk about anything and pry.
Don't let other peoples "entertainment" bother you, it really is meaningless.0 -
Hey use it as motivation to achieve your weight goals, then you'll be crying with laughter. There is a positive in everything if you look hard enough. Good luck and don't let it get you down, use it to focus. Best wishes.
I definitely agree!!0 -
thank you all, so much.
i cant even put in words, how happy i'm that i've found MFP.
it's such a lovely community! again, thank you, and good luck for you, too 0 -
Not to be rude, but did you gain weight? Maybe they are just concerned- as you are, since you are here. ?? Well the silver lining is that people are paying attention and those same people will probably notice when you lose weight.
I've seen so many posts where people are upset that no one noticed a weight loss.... and the same people get upset if someone notices a weight gain... I like consistency and honesty in people, but that's just me.0 -
this is ridicoulous! I can imagine there is only are a few people in this world who hasn't had issues w/ their weight one point or another. I can't believe so many people would be thoughtless and point out something like weight. Hang in there and remember comments like that shows you the person you do not want to be! Prove them wrong.0
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It was very unkind and unnecesary of your mother to share that with you. I can easily regress when I hear any kind of comment about my weight. That's why I'm grateful for all the people here, it is the only place where I share my journey.0
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Sometimes you just have to smile and nod when people come out with things like that, and let their almighty opinions wash away like so much dirty dishwater running out of the sink. They are just opinions and they don't need to be important unless you let them. Alternatively you could tell your mum that any comments about your weight upset you and ask her to not mention it unless you do.
My mum is similar and I've learned to just let her say what she needs to say and not to let it get to me. She recently sent me a weightwatchers points manual (I don't go) and a newspaper clipping about how being overweight gives you more gynae problems. When I said I'd decided to diet she told me what a relief it was to her as she'd been so worried about all the weight around my middle and how it would affect my health. And I'm not that overweight anyway... but that's just the way she is. She also thinks I look better with make up on, should pick my feet up when I walk and need to find a nice man to look after me properly. I love her to bits but she's tactless.
Please don't let this undermine you!0 -
Not to be rude, but did you gain weight? Maybe they are just concerned- as you are, since you are here. ?? Well the silver lining is that people are paying attention and those same people will probably notice when you lose weight.
yes, i've gained weight, thats why i'm here. what i dont get is, why do they have to talk to my mother about it, or have to talk about it at all? i'm more than 900 km away from home, is there really nothing more exciting than my weight? :huh: but i can understand the way you think about it, and somehow i agreeIt was very unkind and unnecesary of your mother to share that with you. I can easily regress when I hear any kind of comment about my weight. That's why I'm grateful for all the people here, it is the only place where I share my journey.
like i've wrote already, i'm not really angry with her, because i've started the topic of my weight, and my mother and i are always telling each other everything. but i think it's also somehow the old 'don't talk bad about my mother'-effect :bigsmile:0 -
Sorry you had to hear that especially from your own mother! She really shouldn't have said anything to you. Instead she should have stuck up for you to those rude people and tell them something like...photos lie, you can't really tell from a photo etc. I've heard rude comments from my own mother at times too. In turn I've said to her you know how those words hurt so why do you say it to me? once she asked what size I wore and then when I told her she said... Is that all? I thought you were much bigger than that. Another time she asked and replied with "oh I don't believe that! I have to see the tag in your pants to believe that! Another time she got rude over my ring size. I have long fingers fingers so of course the radius of my fingers is a little larger than say my mother who is only 5'3". I'm 5'11" and would look weird with long stick fingers. I had told my mother that my husband loves to buy me rings but always gets a size 7. I wear an 8. Now just one ring size larger than my mother so you wouldn't think it was such a big deal but she made a big fuss over it saying wow your fingers are fat. Even gasped when I told her I wore a size 8 ring. Those are things you NEVER forget or get over. Your own mother shouldn't be making you feel horrible about yourself.0
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I'm torn on this.
On one hand it's unfortunate you were hurt by the comment but have you considered how lucky you are that someone expressed concern?
It's one thing if a person calls you a "fatty" but it's another if people inquire about your health because they see a physical change.
I'm too removed from your situation to know the specifics of what was said but I thought I'd throw out some food for thought (0 calories even)0 -
Don't let people who don't matter in your life take up space in your brain. This includes people who make random comments to your mother. Live your life and pretend they don't exist and screw 'em if anyone has a problem with that.0
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Don't worry what other people say. Those same people will be saying you look too thin soon and asking your mom if you are okay. Some people need to be in everyone's business; they just can't help it. There is only one person you need to make happy--and that's you. You have plenty of support here. take that and run with it. Best to you!0
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