The "BEST" Weightloss Strategy of All Time!

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24

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  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
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    You have to make sure to drink at least 3 times your body weight in water to flush the toxins from your system. All those other people who don't do this are really dead.
    Count every movement you make as exercise, determine the calorie burn by checking multiple websites until you find the highest number and eat all of those back.
    Develop a "condition", it excuses you from actually losing weight but be sure to complain about it a lot.

    Love these. Also if you're busy, try to ask people when you can exercise- expecting them so say that you don't possibly have the time, which will confirm that you have an excuse not to.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    I can survive on pineapple juice and berries that are only found on a mountain in Okinawa!

    But only if i get to meet Mr Myagi!

    you can't, I got hungry and ate him!

    but who will teach me karate now??
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    Develop a "condition", it excuses you from actually losing weight but be sure to complain about it a lot.

    This is pretty rude. Some of us have real medical problems. For example, I have acute dorito disorder. If I don't eat at least a bag of doritos a day, my gall bladder shuts down!

    Thanks for being so insensitive!

    LMAO
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
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    Ooooo got more!!

    The more you spend on a gadget, the more weight you'll lose.

    Spending time on this forum is just as good as exercising.

    Unfortunately, I often believe these two.
  • MonkeyBars
    MonkeyBars Posts: 266 Member
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    I can survive on pineapple juice and berries that are only found on a mountain in Okinawa!

    But only if i get to meet Mr Myagi!

    you can't, I got hungry and ate him!

    but who will teach me karate now??

    I will sho3girl....but first I will need a credit card and you to sign this waiver. If I touch you inappropriately I don't want you trying to sue me or anything ;) It's the nature of hand to bottom combat.

    BTW, I may add that martial arts make you thin, even if you eat a family size pizza for lunch every day and have an insatiable urge to consume icecream! Join my McDojo now!
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    -Throw all the spices you own in your bathtub and just let the oregano melt the fat off your body

    Just make sure you spread it out evenly or you'll have lumps of fat!
  • MonkeyBars
    MonkeyBars Posts: 266 Member
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    I'll buy a fit bit, then I can measure the calories I use to shuffle about and eat more! yum yum yum!

    ooh ooh, I can even measure the extra kcals I burn when I'm asleep.... pass the cake!!!!
  • Mamoonie
    Mamoonie Posts: 328
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    And don't forget to step on the scale as often as it needs to show you the exact weight you want to see :-)
  • Lextmg86
    Lextmg86 Posts: 102 Member
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    Confucius says: A BigMac a day keeps the doctor away!
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
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    I almost forgot!!

    -Swallow everything like a duck. Chewing is what released the calories in food.
  • KmusicheartBTS
    KmusicheartBTS Posts: 39 Member
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    Yep! That made my morning, LOL :laugh:
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    You forgot:

    I don't need to eat 1200 calories or above. By eating this little, and doing a very sex specific, biased researched workout plan, I now have the bone density of a two year old. If you do these things, you too can look like me.
  • loadsandloads
    loadsandloads Posts: 353 Member
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    Develop a "condition", it excuses you from actually losing weight but be sure to complain about it a lot.

    This is pretty rude. Some of us have real medical problems. For example, I have acute dorito disorder. If I don't eat at least a bag of doritos a day, my gall bladder shuts down!

    Thanks for being so insensitive!

    I had this condition but got over it.

    Unfortunately now I have m&mitis.....M&M consumption required daily! Now what?
  • pabscabs
    pabscabs Posts: 61 Member
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    Brilliant

    ........ have you heard of the balanced diet

    Fish and chips = Bad

    but

    Fish and chips + DIET drink = balanced = Good
  • e1izab3th2
    e1izab3th2 Posts: 148 Member
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    Haha!
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
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    Brilliant

    ........ have you heard of the balanced diet

    Fish and chips = Bad

    but

    Fish and chips + DIET drink = balanced = Good

    Umm..I'm surprised you don't know this already....but if you pour gravy over fish and chips it absorbs the fat and transforms it into potassium.

    That's basically all I eat when I'm not cleansing.
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
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    Develop a "condition", it excuses you from actually losing weight but be sure to complain about it a lot.

    This is pretty rude. Some of us have real medical problems. For example, I have acute dorito disorder. If I don't eat at least a bag of doritos a day, my gall bladder shuts down!

    Thanks for being so insensitive!

    I had this condition but got over it.

    Unfortunately now I have m&mitis.....M&M consumption required daily! Now what?

    If you swallow them like pills, there's no calories.
  • beckarini
    beckarini Posts: 78 Member
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    I heard that if you eat something without any packagaing then it technically doesn't contain any calories.
    Also if you eat in private, no-one sees you eat so you can convince them that you eat really well.
    Chocolate mousse contains so many air bubbles that it's pretty much fat and calorie-free.
  • ladylocker
    ladylocker Posts: 18 Member
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    Ya'll are too funny!

    Don't forget - if no one sees you eat it, it doesn't have any calories!

    And - if you drink that diet soda with the candy bar, the calories in the candy bar don't count!
  • BobbieLee1959
    BobbieLee1959 Posts: 605 Member
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    hahaha....:)

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