NO self control...HELP

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chanellenoble
chanellenoble Posts: 37 Member
in Food and Nutrition
I have been trying to lose weight for so long. I'm in that 'skinny fat' phase, and the one thing that is stopping me is I can't go a day without some chocolate, or a cookie. When my family eats Ice-cream, I usually join in. I just have no self-control and I know I may just sound weak but I've tried, and I just end up eating everything in sight. I usually can't go for more than two days without giving in, and after that I simply say to myself 'I will be better tomorrow' but I never am. I feel this is what is stopping me from reaching my weight loss goals but I don't know what to do. When ever I see my family or friends eating something, I'll instantly "need" it too.
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Replies

  • LittleMissDover
    LittleMissDover Posts: 820 Member
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    Nobody can give you self control, you have to find it yourself but I will say many people on here enjoy ice cream and thing like that within their goals and still lose weight. Just factor your ice cream into your daily allowance and it won't hinder you.
  • woodclaire
    woodclaire Posts: 1
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    hi im the same i could do with my mouth wired up lol i cant go without chocolate if i have any i say right starting from 2morrow i will go on a diet but 2morrow never comes.i no how u feel ur not on ur own i wish i could give u an answer but i dont really no myself
  • LittleMissDover
    LittleMissDover Posts: 820 Member
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    For me it came down to this:

    1. Do I want to eat whatever I want, whenever I want and enjoy it while it lasts but then HATE the me I see in the mirror, cringe at photos and feel guilt after I eat?

    OR

    2. Do I want to enjoy my food, everything in moderation, like what I see in the mirror and have photos I can be proud of?

    Until you want number 2 more than you want to fill your face you won't do it. May sound harsh but it's true, only YOU can do this, there are no magic answers.
  • chanellenoble
    chanellenoble Posts: 37 Member
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    I completely agree with you, that's why I'm asking for people to give me advice on how to get over this. Also, many people suffer from food addictions. Maybe you need to do your research. Yes your eating is by choice, but it is the same as an alcoholic wanting a glass of wine. If they have been drinking that wine for years, they will obviously find it difficult to stop. All I'm doing is asking for support, or people to share how they have overcome there own problems, not receive criticism, from some one who clearly hasn't had the same problem as me. Also I have never been obese in my whole lifetime, I (like most women) would just like to get in shape.
  • MrRazmoe
    MrRazmoe Posts: 4
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    Drink water. When someone breaks out the chocolate or the cupcakes, go drink 2 big glasses of water! You will feel full and you'll only want a few bites!
    I always eat junk food that others bring around but staying full all day helps my cravings.
  • chanellenoble
    chanellenoble Posts: 37 Member
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    thank you these are the answers I want. Even if they are harsh it's what I need :) I'm looking for mantras, better ways of thinking
  • LittleMissDover
    LittleMissDover Posts: 820 Member
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    Take a naked/underwear photo and look at it when you want ice cream and remind yourself of what you're trying to get away from.
  • msbunnie68
    msbunnie68 Posts: 1,894 Member
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    You want it because you think you can't have it and you shouldn't then it feels soooo good to eat it until the guilt hit.

    Soooo....

    Take the forbidden out of those foods. Stick a snacks/treats section into your diary. Next, divide your calories into roughly quarters. Allow yourself to eat NO MORE than one of those quarters in your snacks section every day. Pre-plan your treats. Place them onto a treat plate. If it is icecream then MEASURE IT OUT in the morning before you feel like it. Cover it then put back in the freezer for later. Then you know by night time if you keep your breakfast/lunch/dinner to 3/4 of your calories then you can have your treat plate. If you get to dinner time and you are really hungry then look at whether you want all of your treat plate and the regular dinner or half your treat plate and a bigger dinner.

    If you control your sweets portions they won't control you.
  • Aries03
    Aries03 Posts: 179 Member
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    In agreement with jesz124!!!! :frown:
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
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    lol u mad , some people have what u call an addiction to food , the worst part is that food is a need and at the same time we want the best food in order to be satisfied, sometimes willpower isnt enough and our "inner animal" takes over. even top proffesional bodybuilders fall off the wagon and majority of them hardly have any emotional connection to food . food is basically just a supplement to them BUT when than ANIMAL kicks in u F###D. now imagine u had an emotional connection to food

    @*kitten*
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
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    You want it because you think you can't have it and you shouldn't then it feels soooo good to eat it until the guilt hit.

    Soooo....

    Take the forbidden out of those foods. Stick a snacks/treats section into your diary. Next, divide your calories into roughly quarters. Allow yourself to eat NO MORE than one of those quarters in your snacks section every day. Pre-plan your treats. Place them onto a treat plate. If it is icecream then MEASURE IT OUT in the morning before you feel like it. Cover it then put back in the freezer for later. Then you know by night time if you keep your breakfast/lunch/dinner to 3/4 of your calories then you can have your treat plate. If you get to dinner time and you are really hungry then look at whether you want all of your treat plate and the regular dinner or half your treat plate and a bigger dinner.

    If you control your sweets portions they won't control you.

    Good post
  • fraser112
    fraser112 Posts: 405
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    I completely agree with you, that's why I'm asking for people to give me advice on how to get over this. Also, many people suffer from food addictions. Maybe you need to do your research. Yes your eating is by choice, but it is the same as an alcoholic wanting a glass of wine. If they have been drinking that wine for years, they will obviously find it difficult to stop. All I'm doing is asking for support, or people to share how they have overcome there own problems, not receive criticism, from some one who clearly hasn't had the same problem as me. Also I have never been obese in my whole lifetime, I (like most women) would just like to get in shape.

    What you eat is always by choice. Stuff tastes good and you eat it. No one else puts it in your mouth but you. If you want some self control try exercising it. Get some sweets and throw them in the fridge. Try not to eat them then when you do feel terrible about it.

    Sure you could just get it out the house but the second it comes back you will eat it again trust me. You need to learn self control by working at it. To do that you need to feel bad when you mess it up and feel good when you do well.
    The only way to learn self control is to exercise it. Its hard but if you want to loose weight and keep it off you need to learn to suffer because your body whats to go its set point. Its a life long battle and many don have it in them so make websites like the above because it's easier to not try and accept.

    Battle through it and become a stronger person. Every time you eat something and say oh im addicted its not my fault oh its my genes its just an excuse to not loose. Just accept you are doing it to yourself and fix it.

    Then you will get confident and feel good and he rest of your problems melt away when you accept you cause them 90% of the time.
  • tonkrz
    tonkrz Posts: 7 Member
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    You want it because you think you can't have it and you shouldn't then it feels soooo good to eat it until the guilt hit.

    Soooo....

    Take the forbidden out of those foods. Stick a snacks/treats section into your diary. Next, divide your calories into roughly quarters. Allow yourself to eat NO MORE than one of those quarters in your snacks section every day. Pre-plan your treats. Place them onto a treat plate. If it is icecream then MEASURE IT OUT in the morning before you feel like it. Cover it then put back in the freezer for later. Then you know by night time if you keep your breakfast/lunch/dinner to 3/4 of your calories then you can have your treat plate. If you get to dinner time and you are really hungry then look at whether you want all of your treat plate and the regular dinner or half your treat plate and a bigger dinner.

    If you control your sweets portions they won't control you.

    That's an absolutely fantastic method. It's similar to mine but way more organized. I log my food at the start of my day. I eat five or six times a day and divide my calories almost equally between them. Two times are considered snacks--the rest meals. I also allow myself to splurge once in a while, but as soon as the splurge is done, I get it out of the house (or I go out for it so it's never in the house). That's harder with others in the house, but it can be done. By buying smaller quantities, it makes it so there's not as much temptation around. Another consideration is that if it's not good for you, it's probably also not good for anyone else in the house. It could be a family health focus to only have treats in the house once a week (or something like that). Then, you can plan your day on treat day knowing that your treat will be part of your calorie alotment.

    I've often felt food issues were among the hardest to deal with. No other addiction is also a required activity. An alcoholic doesn't have to drink some alcohol but avoid others; they can eventually not drink. I'm not saying that's easy, but there is an alcohol-free solution. A food addict MUST continue to eat some food and therefore combat temptations regularly. Those temptations don't have to control you, though. I have NO foods that are off limits. I just try to make smart choices about where I splurge. And, if I'm going to each chocolate, it's going to be the best chocolate I can get my hands on. I'm not settling for the last piece of candy left in someone's candy bowl; I'll eat the good stuff. It's way more satisfying that way.

    God bless.
  • lyndalpn
    lyndalpn Posts: 151 Member
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    I have chosen not to eat sweet treats at all, because I not only have weight to lose, I also have diabetes to contend with. But, I probably have a similar mindset in that they are not forbidden as such - I say to myself, its not that I am never going to eat sweets ever again, I may still have it on a special occasion as while it will put my calories and blood sugar up, its not like tis going to kill me. And every time I am in a situation where I am offered chocolate or biscuits or whatever I ask myself " is this really a special occasion? Do I really need this today? Is today the last opportunity I'm ever going to have to eat this thing or can I wait for another day?" And inevitably I decided today is not the day. So in 5 months I havent eaten any cakes, biscuits, ice cream, chocolate, junk food etc at all. No cheats. It just seems to work for me. I have my rules about what I shouldn't eat, I have given myself permission to break them if I wish without guilt, but every day I choose not to. One day I will and that will be OK. But not today.
  • SarahCW1979
    SarahCW1979 Posts: 572 Member
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    I dont call my 'happy foods' treats or cheats, they are all part of a normal diet. I KNOW Im going to want something sweet at some point in the day so Ill fit it in with all my meals. It stops me from going Rambo on the kids snacks, keeps me satisfied and I never feel deprived. :flowerforyou:
  • athenasurrenders
    athenasurrenders Posts: 278 Member
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    I keep reminding myself that never once in my life have I thought 'I really regret not eating that donut yesterday'. It feels good at the time but once it's over, it's over. By the time the plates have been cleared away, the fun of eating it is gone (but the guilt sometimes remains if I overdid it).

    I log my meals in the morning so I can see at a glance if I have room for snacks, and I try to leave myself about 75 cals for a mini chocolate bar which I break into tiny pieces and make it last. I don't go without, so I don't feel the need to gorge when the time comes.

    I also find it helps to do my exercise before indulging - I'm more likely to be in a good frame of mind and to think 'whoa, I'll just have a small portion, I worked so hard to burn those calories'.

    I don't know if this will help, but I have a history of 'falling off the wagon'. I told myself for one whole month I wouldn't cheat at all. No skipping exercises, no unplanned treats, no binging, no excuses. I promised myself that it was just a month, and after that I could go ahead and indulge. And I did it. And suddenly I looked at myself in a different way. Instead of thinking 'I always give up and fail' I was thinking 'I did it. I have willpower'. And everything became easier. The urge to indulge was less, because I had more faith in myself. I knew I could resist, because I had resisted. If a month sounds too much, how about a week?
  • mammacoty
    mammacoty Posts: 45 Member
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    I have a big problem with self control also. I have found that I need to avoid chocolate and sugary things because eating one thing is almost always the beginning of a food binge. Sugar and chocolate are very addictive, so I do better by not having them at all, keeping them out of the house. After 4-5 days of not indulging, the cravings quiet down greatly. That's not to say I don't have "treats", but I find healthier choices. Fiber One has 90 calories brownies that work for a chocolate fix, as do sugar free fudgecicles, or real fruit sugar free Popsicle. For a real "splurge" I will have a sugar free dillybar from DQ.

    I also have a free app on my phone that is called "my diet coach" which can send me notifications at certain times reminding me to stay the course. My snacking times are about 3 pm and 9 pm, so that's when I get a message that reminds me why I'm doing what I'm doing. Anytime you are feeling week, you can open that app and read some motivational sayings.
  • duckfloats
    duckfloats Posts: 30
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    Do what I do. Go ahead and eat some chocolate, but... in very small quantities.

    I ate ONE Hershey's Dark Chocolate Nugget ( http://www.hersheys.com/pure-products/hersheys-nuggets/milk-chocolate-with-almonds.aspx ) yesterday, and added the 50 calories to my MFP log.

    Think about this.

    Any pleasure you get from eating something fun is gone 60 seconds after you're done eating.

    So... what's the point of eating a lot of it. Give yourself A VERY LITTLE, and go on.
  • busycitystreets
    busycitystreets Posts: 64 Member
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    Don't ever deprive yourself of what you love to eat! If I'm craving pasta and all it's yummy cheesey goodness, then I fit it in for that day. I usually plan for a cheat meal one or two times a week, to keep me somewhat sane. If there's cookies and donuts in the lunchroom at work, I take a walk and usually forget about it when I get back to my desk. Make sure when you eat at meals that you are satisfied and not still hungry. Fill up on protein. I cook chicken in tomato sauce sometimes, and just eat that, and I feel like I'm eating a pasta dish because of the tomato sauce, lol. I find I usually have no self-control when I'm hungry or have been depriving myself of something I love, so don't do that! I tend to eat whatever's in sight when I'm hungry, so I like to plan my meals so that I always have something healthy on hand and won't turn to just whatever in that FEED ME NOW moment.
  • chanellenoble
    chanellenoble Posts: 37 Member
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    Thank you to every one for the advice. I think over the past week I have really improved my thinking as well as my body. I have been sick and stuck in bed and so I couldn't exercise, and all I wanted to do was grab the easy food but I pushed through it. When ever I feel like eating up a binge, I have tried waiting, and if the craving still continues, I will have a square of dark chocolate or something similar.

    THANK YOU AGAIN TO EVERYONE :)

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