Lost that loving feeling/co-habitation.
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You need to snap yourself out of it. It sounds like you just got too comfortable. If you want it, you'll make it happen.
Make it a point to spend time together. Just because you're in the same house, doesn't mean you're together. If one of you is on your laptop and the other one is watching TV in the evenings, you're not together. You still need to "date"... if you loose the boyfriend/girlfriend feeling, then you have to work to get it back.
Being married or "married" as absolutely NOTHING to do with a lack of sex. That's self-inflicted and the spouse is just being used as an excuse. I've been married for almost 8 years, together for 10 and we have an awesome love life. We've had rough patches but we've never gotten *that* sort of comfortable where it's just like "Meh... sex is there if I want it." That's no good.0 -
Did he really say he wanted to 'do sex to you'??
lol yes. But honestly, that doesn't bother me at all. It's nothing new, he's always said that to me. So don't hone in on that one comment.0 -
Um wow. :noway: Don't blame it on the marriage. There could be something else wrong with your husband. Have you talked to him about it?
Sorry but I hate it when people say "Oh once you get married you just stop having sex!" That's a load of crap.
Oh yes...we've talked...and talked....and talked. Lots of issues there. Marriage sucks for the sex department because once you have kids, and the house needs maintenance, and work wants you 20 hours a day, etc....(aka: being responsible, overworked, and stressed out) - there is rarely anything left to give to the one whom you love and know won't leave you because you are just too tired. So you have to deal with it. And yes, I'm a bit of a negative nancy right now because this has become a HUGE issue in my life the past eight months and I'm not ready to just settle for being an undersexed "trophy" wife. blah0 -
I just had this conversation with my sister. My husband and I been together for 12 years. We have 3 kids and are busy. The first few months out the relationship you can't keep your hands off eachother and then he can't keep his hands off of you and then its no one is putting hands on eachother. Then he is cranky from not getting any so you as the women have to put everything in motion. I finally told him if he wanted it he needed to get on me. Things have really changed in the last week. I for sure have a husband who is way more horny and in control. And yes its ok to take control and put things into motion. Also to change it up!!0
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Being goofy friends makes for the best relationships.Did he really say he wanted to 'do sex to you'??
lol yes. But honestly, that doesn't bother me at all. It's nothing new, he's always said that to me. So don't hone in on that one comment.
... as long as you know when to take each other seriously and when to goof. :laugh: That's kind of important too... 0 -
Nothings wrong.....its not married life. Its just life. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years. Living together 7. We go through phases where we can't take our hands off eachother. As well as phases where we really are just too exhausted from life to do anything but veg on the couch. Then again there are other ways to please people without going the distance!!! Which we take full advantage of during those times. If you love him and he loves you going without sex for even a month won't kill the relationship. Its the over thinking it that will eventually eat you up.0
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Did he really say he wanted to 'do sex to you'??
lol yes. But honestly, that doesn't bother me at all. It's nothing new, he's always said that to me. So don't hone in on that one comment.
I can't imagine you in a relationship with a man who wouldn't say something like that! lol0 -
Move out. Ta da.
^^ This. It's all about supply and demand. If its always potentially available, then it's less desirable. Living apart means you always see each other at your best.
Very true. I believe you hit the nail on the head with this one.0 -
Um wow. :noway: Don't blame it on the marriage. There could be something else wrong with your husband. Have you talked to him about it?
Sorry but I hate it when people say "Oh once you get married you just stop having sex!" That's a load of crap.
Oh yes...we've talked...and talked....and talked. Lots of issues there. Marriage sucks for the sex department because once you have kids, and the house needs maintenance, and work wants you 20 hours a day, etc....(aka: being responsible, overworked, and stressed out) - there is rarely anything left to give to the one whom you love and know won't leave you because you are just too tired. So you have to deal with it. And yes, I'm a bit of a negative nancy right now because this has become a HUGE issue in my life the past eight months and I'm not ready to just settle for being an undersexed "trophy" wife. blah
I'm married too and although I have no children I get the whole 'responsibility" thing however sometimes you just have to make time for sex, even if it means scheduling it in your sexy time. In all honesty it sounds like the two of you need therapy and I'm not saying that to be rude either. If this is an issue and you've talked about it then perhaps some professional intervention may be what you need or perhaps it's something else. He could have low testosterone or some other underlying issue that you're not aware of..0 -
Um wow. :noway: Don't blame it on the marriage. There could be something else wrong with your husband. Have you talked to him about it?
Sorry but I hate it when people say "Oh once you get married you just stop having sex!" That's a load of crap.
Oh yes...we've talked...and talked....and talked. Lots of issues there. Marriage sucks for the sex department because once you have kids, and the house needs maintenance, and work wants you 20 hours a day, etc....(aka: being responsible, overworked, and stressed out) - there is rarely anything left to give to the one whom you love and know won't leave you because you are just too tired. So you have to deal with it. And yes, I'm a bit of a negative nancy right now because this has become a HUGE issue in my life the past eight months and I'm not ready to just settle for being an undersexed "trophy" wife. blah
To me all those reasons you listed are a reason to have sex, At least in my opinion it is a major stress reliever. I also can't imagine a man saying no if he was thrown onto the bed and undressed. Don’t give him the option refuse….take it, or give it I guess would be the better way to put it.0 -
I think in long-term relationships whether you're living together, married, have kids, etc. the sex life kind of naturally fluctuates. My husband and I (we've been together 16 years) will have dry spells where me might only have sex once or twice a week. But then we'll have periods where we have it several times a week or every night.
Send him a skanky text or texts throughout the day... he'll probably be so ready by the time he gets home that he can't help himself. And, I'm being completely honest when I say that our sex life NOW (after 9 years of marriage and three kids) is way, way better than when we were dating.0 -
I think it's pretty normal but also depends upon the people in the relationship. I know that when I didn't live with my ex bf we did it almost every night...but then I moved in...and it did change. I think it's because you KNOW you will be with that person at night. It's not like you have to plan to go to his place or have him come to yours. There is no "end" to the date where one of you has to go home. My situation was a bit different in that his mom was in the bedroom RIGHT NEXT TO OURS. That tends to change things a bit. We didn't work out, but still talk and share 4 dogs. I've learned a few things from the relationship and am better prepared for the next bf...whenever he comes along!!! :bigsmile: :blushing:0
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Relationships have their ups and downs. Sometimes you're on fire in the sack, and sometimes not so much. Just try to work on finding a balance in your relationship with your sex life that works for you both. If he's working his butt off all week long, he probably really is tired and isn't quite in the mood. Try to find out what you can do to help get him there during the week. Talk to him. Try to spice things up. Point out when he's promising sex and not delivering. Communication and an appreciation for both parties and their current circumstances is important.0
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Married 13 years, together for 15. Do you have any idea what I'd give for twice a week and weekends... OMG!!!0
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Some people, even guys, just really are tired...0
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Did he really say he wanted to 'do sex to you'??
lol yes. But honestly, that doesn't bother me at all. It's nothing new, he's always said that to me. So don't hone in on that one comment.
I can't imagine you in a relationship with a man who wouldn't say something like that! lol
Indeed His pick up line on me "Why aren't we making out?" hook line and sinker. 0 -
Sorry but it happens. Life gets in the way and people are tired. Especially when you are living under the same roof it can become comfortable and people just do not try as hard. Congrats to all of you who have sex every single day even while married, but people who do not are not abnormal. Some weeks it may feel like its all the time and others it will feel like a drought. Believe me people I know consider my husband a lucky man because I make a point to have sex with him at least 2x a week regardless what day it is. If you are childless try doing it in the evening instead of waiting till nighttime. I have kids so we have to wait till later which leads to I am tired, but if you try it at 6pm he may be more receptive or on the weekends try doing it once during the day and then at night he may have more energy.0
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^^ This. It's all about supply and demand. If its always potentially available, then it's less desirable. Living apart means you always see each other at your best.
thats totally what happened with me and my ex. and when i questioned him about it, he said that theres no need to have sex all the time bc we live together and its always available. it had nothing to do with him not finding me attractive it was just less of a take it when I can get it cuz im not sure when it will happen again situation bc we lived slept in the same bed and he was happy with the option, he tho he ddint take advantage of it all the time. 2x a week. most times. sometimes not even that. but it was routine. not always what i wanted but sometimes more too. as long as you communicate and talk about it. and there is still desire i think you can make it0 -
Some people, even guys, just really are tired...
How dare they be tired !!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
Whiners.
I've got my hopes up for my semi-annual satisfaction some time in the next month or so.0
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