I am NOT the father...

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SyStEmPhReAk
SyStEmPhReAk Posts: 330 Member
in Chit-Chat
Haha.. Gotta love a little Maury reference. He's classic...

Anyway, here is a bit of a funny story for your Thursday...

During the week of the Storm here in NYC, a co-worker (single mom) brought her son to work. (**sidenote** shout out to all of the single parents on MFP!!! You have one of, if not, the HARDEST job out there!) Things were slow that day becuase most people were not able to get to work, so I had more time on my hands to "entertain". I hung out with the little guy, joked around with him, let him sit in my office and because I'm cool as *kitten*, naturally he took a liking to me (I'm awesome, what can i say). To tell you the truth, it was tiring as HELL. The kid was cool and all, but he was such a pain in the butt to deal with. He's that badass kid that you want to tie to a chair just to get to sit still for a minute! At one point during the day I actually had to hide from him just to get some peace and quiet!!! :sad:

Fast forward to just a few minutes ago. I see my coworker and she says "your little guy did well on his report card". Forgetting for a minute who she was talking about I say "huh?" She then repeats "your little guy did well on his report card... He made mom proud". Now, have you ever had a thing that happens in your brain where you process about 1 million thoughts within the span of just a few seconds? Well, if not, hitch-hike on my experience for a moment... As she says those three words - "YOUR LITTLE GUY" - the nightmare of that day that I had tucked away ever so neatly in my subconscious resurfaces, and an explosion of incomplete sentence fragments rush through my mind... I say to myself, "that badass kid is not..." "ain't no way in hell he's my..." "he's your boy lady, not..." Until finally Maury Povich's voice drowns out my own and yells "you are NOT the father!!" I don't know why, but my first inclination wasn't to congratulate her or her son, but to DENY, DENY, DENY! Finally snapping back to reality, I squeeked out a response - something to the effect of "oh... wow... good for him." Then I walked away, still left with my thoughts...

In all seriousness, I am happy for her and VERY proud of him! He really is a good kid, but I'll be damned if he isn't a handful to deal with!!! :laugh: :noway: #icannotwaitforparenthood
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  • RockstarPunch
    RockstarPunch Posts: 203 Member
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    lmao, wow! that story is Hilarious! Kids are interesting little people lol. thats funny.....
  • carryingon
    carryingon Posts: 609 Member
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    Haha.. Gotta love a little Maury reference. He's classic...

    Anyway, here is a bit of a funny story for your Thursday...

    During the week of the Storm here in NYC, a co-worker (single mom) brought her son to work. (**sidenote** shout out to all of the single parents on MFP!!! You have one of, if not, the HARDEST job out there!)

    First-props to you for being awesome and giving her a break! Second thanks for the props! I never thought I would be a single parent. It is the hardest job in the world.
  • farfoorah
    farfoorah Posts: 168
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    tumblr_m6wq174N2f1qbbil5o2_250.gif
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
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    gotta love maury. if you ever feel bad about your life, just watch him.
  • Musikelektronik
    Musikelektronik Posts: 739 Member
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    But unless you've slept with your co-worker (and I assume you hadn't), why would these thoughts even occur to you?
  • toya316
    toya316 Posts: 137 Member
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    gotta love maury. if you ever feel bad about your life, just watch him.


    EXACTLY...
  • KaciWood19
    KaciWood19 Posts: 553 Member
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    Obscure reference: Jersey Shore "stage 5 clinger!"
  • SherryR1971
    SherryR1971 Posts: 1,170 Member
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    LOL Love it! We parents forget that not everyone is as enamored of our children as we are!!
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
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    That is a really strange way to share that information. It would freak me out too, LOL!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Dad of the Year.
  • alvalaurie
    alvalaurie Posts: 369 Member
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    That's too funny! Definately a weird way to anounce her good news. :huh:
  • chcunningham
    chcunningham Posts: 26 Member
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    HAHA!!! to funny:laugh:
  • JacquelineD35
    JacquelineD35 Posts: 279 Member
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    thanks for the Props... being a single mommy to two kids is a lot of work. And this post was funny as hell, was super nice of you to let him hang around you.
  • dare2love81
    dare2love81 Posts: 928 Member
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    But unless you've slept with your co-worker (and I assume you hadn't), why would these thoughts even occur to you?

    I'm sure one of his thoughts was also "Oh crap, what *REALLY* happened at that Christmas party a few years back?!"
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    Awww…what an awesome story! Mad props to you for helping Mom out. Trust me…we need the mental health break now & then, LOL! :laugh:

    I would like to share a story with you. When my ex-husband & I split up years later, I flew from Reno back to Philly with my 2 kids, by myself. My son was 1 & ½ and my daughter was 4 & ½. My son sat in my lap so he could fly for free. I was about ready to throw myself out of the plane when the gentleman sitting next to us plucked my son out of my lap and showed him the magic of the flip-down tray on the seat in front of him. He told me he had grandkids that age & happily kept my son occupied for the rest of that flight. Then, on the connecting flight, the flight attendant made the mistake of giving my kids cookies. So, naturally, my son wanted follow her everywhere and, of course, she worked in the first class cabin. FML, right? Well the lady sitting next to us on this flight, whipped out the SkyMall magazine & kept my daughter occupied so I could keep my son from invading first class.

    People like you who are willing to color, play games with or otherwise keep a child occupied so Mom can get work done or just keep an eye on that kid’s sibling are saviors in my book. Kudos to you! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • SyStEmPhReAk
    SyStEmPhReAk Posts: 330 Member
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    But unless you've slept with your co-worker (and I assume you hadn't), why would these thoughts even occur to you?

    I'm sure one of his thoughts was also "Oh crap, what *REALLY* happened at that Christmas party a few years back?!"

    haha.. unless i was given a roofie and taken advantage of, ain't no way THAT was happening...
  • MonaMel01
    MonaMel01 Posts: 18
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    I think someone is crushing on you...

    I hope you don't start getting school pictures and a request for child support!
  • UnoDrea3732
    UnoDrea3732 Posts: 342 Member
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    LMAO!! Definitely the laugh of the day!
  • katiwagner
    katiwagner Posts: 82 Member
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    Oh my goodness! Love it, this story had me giggling the whole time!
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
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    Gotta stay away from the work girls man.. stay away.. Go outside the house to play... But ya I know the feeling when a million things go threw your head, you know what look us guys have on our face during that time period.. the idiot look.

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