The fear of enjoying the holidays
downsizinghoss
Posts: 1,035 Member
I just wanted to put this out there regarding all of the talk regarding the Thanksgiving holidays.
The fear of the holidays isn't that a single day will cause you to be fat.
The fear of the holidays is just a single instance of a world of fears that comes from being overweight. This is especially true for the morbidly obese.
I didn't get to be over 500 pounds because I ate too much on Thanksgiving. I ate too much every day.
For those that stress to enjoy it.... "EAT ALL THE FOODS!", you are right. We should be able to allow ourselves the pleasure of enjoying it. Food is a part of living, and a beautiful part. The thing is, when you are morbidly obese, it isn't pleasurable. A holiday like this can be some sort of self punishment. If you don't have the confidence that you can lose the weight, if you feel you are disgusting, if you literally hate yourself, eating is rarely about pleasure. It is about giving up.
Telling yourself that you can possibly lose 250 pounds on a day when you feel like you should be punishing yourself sounds ludicrous. This is the mentality that keeps us fat.
In your mind, you are fat, disgusting, and not worth much. Why on earth should you not just eat yourself into oblivion? You don't deserve any better, do you?
The thing is, you do. As you progress towards your goals your relationship with food improves. you actually enjoy eating more than you ever did when you were at your largest. It can seem counter intuitive.
For those who want to eat all the food! Be happy! You have developed the confidence and you know that you can overcome these issues even if you aren't there yet. To you it is just a day.
For those still struggling, slow it down. It isn't an example of your failures. It really is just another day. Don't see not binging as a punishment. See it as something you can overcome. The key thing is, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP about what happens on that one day. It is just a day. You can overcome this. It you just don't quit, you will overcome it.
It won't happen on some set time schedule. you don't have to wake up every morning with the soundtrack to Rocky playing in your head as you run to the gym and have your own last chance workout. Just get up, and do more than you did the day before while eating less. If you eat too much, then accept it, and move forward.
The holidays are about celebrating with your friends and family. This one in particular is about being thankful for what we have.
You are alive. Be thankful. Live.
The fear of the holidays isn't that a single day will cause you to be fat.
The fear of the holidays is just a single instance of a world of fears that comes from being overweight. This is especially true for the morbidly obese.
I didn't get to be over 500 pounds because I ate too much on Thanksgiving. I ate too much every day.
For those that stress to enjoy it.... "EAT ALL THE FOODS!", you are right. We should be able to allow ourselves the pleasure of enjoying it. Food is a part of living, and a beautiful part. The thing is, when you are morbidly obese, it isn't pleasurable. A holiday like this can be some sort of self punishment. If you don't have the confidence that you can lose the weight, if you feel you are disgusting, if you literally hate yourself, eating is rarely about pleasure. It is about giving up.
Telling yourself that you can possibly lose 250 pounds on a day when you feel like you should be punishing yourself sounds ludicrous. This is the mentality that keeps us fat.
In your mind, you are fat, disgusting, and not worth much. Why on earth should you not just eat yourself into oblivion? You don't deserve any better, do you?
The thing is, you do. As you progress towards your goals your relationship with food improves. you actually enjoy eating more than you ever did when you were at your largest. It can seem counter intuitive.
For those who want to eat all the food! Be happy! You have developed the confidence and you know that you can overcome these issues even if you aren't there yet. To you it is just a day.
For those still struggling, slow it down. It isn't an example of your failures. It really is just another day. Don't see not binging as a punishment. See it as something you can overcome. The key thing is, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP about what happens on that one day. It is just a day. You can overcome this. It you just don't quit, you will overcome it.
It won't happen on some set time schedule. you don't have to wake up every morning with the soundtrack to Rocky playing in your head as you run to the gym and have your own last chance workout. Just get up, and do more than you did the day before while eating less. If you eat too much, then accept it, and move forward.
The holidays are about celebrating with your friends and family. This one in particular is about being thankful for what we have.
You are alive. Be thankful. Live.
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Replies
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I love this, and I love you.
As always, you hit the nail on the head. I'm so glad to call you a friend.0 -
You are amazing! and so right - its a great thing to learn to have a healthy relationship with food!0
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I didn't get to be over 500 pounds because I ate too much on Thanksgiving. I ate too much every day.
^^^^^THIS, 100% TRUTH. I will be enjoying Thanksgiving this year as now I feel that I can enjoy the food without needing it.0 -
This is the kind of clear-headedness that MFP simply won't tolerate.0
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You have mad writing skills! This is so true.
Well done my friend!0 -
Exactly right and eloquently written. I am so proud of you and I love you :flowerforyou:0
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HOSS
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Hoss you rock. I adore you.
This is well said.0 -
Hoss, the Boss!0
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well said!!!! :flowerforyou:0
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:flowerforyou:
I would add: Eat all the foods, but most of all, enjoy the time with your family and friends
food is important on that they, but it's not the most important thing0 -
This is the kind of clear-headedness that MFP simply won't tolerate.
Agreed.
This thread makes too much sense for MFP main boards0 -
Thank you. This is awesome.0
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So very well said Hoss.
Blessings to you and yours!0 -
Love this!!! Excellent post.0
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Your are so the man !! I you !! 0
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Thank you. Very well said.0
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REPORTED0
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The key thing is, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP about what happens on that one day. It is just a day. You can overcome this. It you just don't quit, you will overcome it.
This... 100% this... once you over come this holidays are NOT that bad honest.0 -
:drinker: :drinker: Excellent post hoss!!!!0
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Good job, Hoss.0
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you rock. very proud to be able to call you my friend.0
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just... 0 -
Very well said.0
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GREAT post.. thank you!0
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Thank you for your well written words. I wish I could favorite the post and keep it to go back to on the days I beat myself up over food. And I still have those days. It's been a long journey to learn new thought patterns. For some of us, it's not just the holidays, its any day with food requires un-learning the guilt or the anger or what ever issue we have around food. I'm a secret binge eater and I still do it. It may be small amounts but when I hide what I'm eating from my family, from my log, I know I'm not completely there yet. So thank you. May your holiday be blessed in all the ways you want.0
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Hoss....... This one brought me to tears. I *really* needed to read it. You got stuff figured out. ♥0
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Bravo! Yes, I've been there (eating hardly anything on turkey day), and I'm very thankful (heh) to be where I am now.
Thanksgiving is finally just another day, and I WILL enjoy ALL TEH FOODZ.0 -
Thank you for this thought. I had not been on this site for 18 months and decided today to start back up and make it work. Part of me thought I was stupid for saying I was going to lose weight starting the week before Thanksgiving, but then if not now---When?
Your post is the exact right mindset for me to start back up and do what I need to do for me.0 -
Oh, and this year.... I am going to eat all the foodz! :-)0
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