MFP HATES THIN PEOPLE
undeludedwish
Posts: 25
Okay now that I have your attention - let me rephrase.
MFP doesn't hate thin people - it just doesn't address that particular category of men and women who are naturally slim and only looking to lose 5-20 pounds. Over and over again I am reading posts asking for help from that category of women, and the responses are nine times out of ten dismissive and ineffective.
Sure, we all realize that fitness is more important than losing 5 to 10 pounds.But we wouldn't be here if we didn't want to lose them. And so what if it is for vanity? Humans are vain, it is alright to indulge in that, as long as you are healthy! (Obviously, we are not encouraging eating disorders here!) The first 5-10 pound weight gain is, after all, the root of all excessive weight gain thereafter. And we have the right to get the support we need to lose it in a healthy way!
If you are in that boat, or have experience to share, please reply here, and add me as a friend. Thank you for listening.
(If you are going to be rude or condescending or insist on shoving your diet philosophy down my throat, then please save everybody's sanity and just don't respond. Go for a run and let it out, or something.)
MFP doesn't hate thin people - it just doesn't address that particular category of men and women who are naturally slim and only looking to lose 5-20 pounds. Over and over again I am reading posts asking for help from that category of women, and the responses are nine times out of ten dismissive and ineffective.
Sure, we all realize that fitness is more important than losing 5 to 10 pounds.But we wouldn't be here if we didn't want to lose them. And so what if it is for vanity? Humans are vain, it is alright to indulge in that, as long as you are healthy! (Obviously, we are not encouraging eating disorders here!) The first 5-10 pound weight gain is, after all, the root of all excessive weight gain thereafter. And we have the right to get the support we need to lose it in a healthy way!
If you are in that boat, or have experience to share, please reply here, and add me as a friend. Thank you for listening.
(If you are going to be rude or condescending or insist on shoving your diet philosophy down my throat, then please save everybody's sanity and just don't respond. Go for a run and let it out, or something.)
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Replies
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Excellent post! I'm not yet in that category of people who just want to lose a couple, but I have some friends on my MFP list who are just that. They are already healthy, but want to just put the finishing touches on themselves. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself. I hope you find the type of individuals whom you can relate, and make good friends here.0
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My best friend is in the category of one of those more slender gals who just wants to lose 5-10 lbs. and tone up. She is constantly down on herself because she doesn't feel sexy or doesn't thinks she looks good due to those body imperfections she sees in herself. Whereas me, with 100+ lbs. to lose wishes I could be where she is at.
She constantly reassures me that I am beautiful, even being as overweight as I am, and encourages my journey for better health. I also try to encourage her self-esteem and her healthy efforts to improve her body image and self-esteem instead of just brushing aside her feelings because she is at where I want to be now.
I had a mini epiphany that helped me become less vocally negative toward my body image, and try to find positive statements instead. Having so many women around me constantly negatively talking about their appearance made me so self-conscious about myself. I realized I was perpetuating that effect to others around me as well, without realizing it.
I think we all have our insecurities or desires to better ourselves and want support to reach those goals. It’s still takes effort for me to not lash out at slender ladies who constantly complain about trying to lose those 5 to 20 lbs. when I have struggled with being fat for most of my life. I know it’s my fault that I am fat, not theirs. I am just so envious of their weight it seems unfair that they could be unhappy with their appearance, because in my eyes I find them beautiful.
I don't see what they zero in on because my hurdles seem so much greater. I have to remind myself that my 100 pound (losing) goal might look small to someone with a 300 pound (losing) goal. It’s a matter of perspective for that person. I try to be patient and encouraging with anyone’s healthy effort for self-improvement whether it be loss, gain, tone, etc.0 -
iM NOT IN THAT CATAGORY BUT I DONT JUDGE PPL. WE ARE ALL ON HERE FOR THE SAME PURPOSE. TO LOSE WEIGHT AND BE HEALTHY. FEEL FREE TO ADD ME...0
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Okay now that I have your attention - let me rephrase.
MFP doesn't hate thin people - it just doesn't address that particular category of men and women who are naturally slim and only looking to lose 5-20 pounds. Over and over again I am reading posts asking for help from that category of women, and the responses are nine times out of ten dismissive and ineffective.
Sure, we all realize that fitness is more important than losing 5 to 10 pounds.But we wouldn't be here if we didn't want to lose them. And so what if it is for vanity? Humans are vain, it is alright to indulge in that, as long as you are healthy! (Obviously, we are not encouraging eating disorders here!) The first 5-10 pound weight gain is, after all, the root of all excessive weight gain thereafter. And we have the right to get the support we need to lose it in a healthy way!
If you are in that boat, or have experience to share, please reply here, and add me as a friend. Thank you for listening.
(If you are going to be rude or condescending or insist on shoving your diet philosophy down my throat, then please save everybody's sanity and just don't respond. Go for a run and let it out, or something.)
whether you want to lose 10 lbs or 100 lbs to get to your proper weight, the advice is always the same.
eat less, move more.
if you're trying to lose just 10 lbs and want to keep it off, you should have a smaller calorie deficit and allow it to take longer than a person with 100 lbs to lose.
it's not rocket science. it's simple math. calories in vs. calories out.0 -
I'm in the same category as you, and understand when people want to lose just a few pounds. My friends have always been supportive of my fitness goals on here.
In my personal experience: I've seen a lot of threads that have people in our condition and people are plenty nice in them. Maybe you've just been unlucky and have been seeing the bad ones? A lot of the times, people who are 120 pounds and 5'6'' come onto the forums and say how they want to weigh 100 pounds, and that's when it turns mean. It shouldn't turn mean because many of these people have body issues, but there is a difference between those who want to be healthier and those who are looking to be extremely underweight.0 -
you look fine in your pic you dont need to get any smaller give your boyfriend something to grasp on to0
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I 100% agree with you. It took me a while to understand it about this place. But anyway, I can't be happier with my friends list despite my seemingly inconsequential questions, concerns, and NSV they are really supportive.0
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I was looking to lose 33lbs when i first started MFP.
I'm at the halfway point now with 15lbs to go.
I really admire people who have put the work in and made the decision to lose weight, no matter where their scales started or which point they are up to in losing.
It's their Success Stories and Pictures that encourage me to keep going.0 -
Life's tough huh?0
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I'm in that category. I know I'm not overweight and sometimes my reaction is overkill, but by staying vigilant I've managed to keep my weight under control in recent years. I wouldn't mind losing a few pounds, and, given my weight history, it would not be unhealthy, but it will require a lot of effort and I have to fully recover from an injury. Running has always been the most effective exercise for me and I can't run at the moment.0
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I think I consider myself in that category. I haven't been technically overweight since I was 10. But I just know I could look so much better than I currently do. Which is why I want to lose these last 10 pounds. But people here tell me I should expect to lose that within 20 weeks at the quickest since I'm not overweight. I'm just like, no way. Lol.0
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In my personal experience: I've seen a lot of threads that have people in our condition and people are plenty nice in them. Maybe you've just been unlucky and have been seeing the bad ones?
I know exactly what the OP is talking about. Most of the people of any weight on this board are pleasant and helpful. But there are always a few who take it as a personal affront that you're not overweight and how DARE you suggest that they try something different, even though what they've done in the past obviously hasn't worked because this usually isn't their first or second attempt at losing weight?0 -
Life's tough huh?
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Lol. Almost every guy I know who works out does it for self confidence & pulling chicks. And they're pretty successful with it. So don't think your snarky comments will discourage anyone from doing this to look good.Life's tough huh?0 -
Lol. Almost every guy I know who works out does it for self confidence & pulling chicks. And they're pretty successful with it. So don't think your snarky comments will discourage anyone from doing this to look good.
They're young guys though right?0 -
OP: I understand what you're saying. It's about how you FEEL and being healthy and fit and adopting of lifestyle of wellness and learning to be conscientious & nurturing towards our bodies. What you said about "the 5-10 lbs" being the beginning of a slide into becoming overweight is so true for me personally. While I was still WNL for BMI for my frame I was so much heavier then I should've been. I had lost touch with my body and adopted an attitude of apathy. We are all here with different experiences and goals but I think (hope) the unifying goal is one of embracing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.0
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I only lost 30 pounds and I feel like I got as much support as any other person around here.
Difference is, I didn't act like an idiot and whine about how it's so hard to lose these 10-20 pounds and what can I do to make it come off faster.. because after all, the common theme of those threads seem to be what fad diet/diet pill/exercise can make the weight come off the fastest.
Follow that MFP gives you, Exercise and wait.. those 5-10 pounds may never come off, but you will probably lose body fat which will make you look better.0 -
Thank you to everyone that took my post seriously and replied with kindness! Not gonna lie I was a little hesitant to read the responses but I'm glad I did.
In response to the comment that I shouldn't lose to "give my boyfriend something to hold onto", first of all, that picture IS my goal and the weight I've maintained as an adult healthfully for years, and second of all...
It is possibly the biggest misconception that women lose weight for men. Let me tell you, all a woman really needs to get a man is a vagina and confidence, both of which have nothing to do with weight. It's really quite easy to impress men. Impressing ourselves is much harder, but self love is the path to a much, much greater reward.
I think the same goes for men.0 -
Thank you to everyone that took my post seriously and replied with kindness! Not gonna lie I was a little hesitant to read the responses but I'm glad I did.
In response to the comment that I shouldn't lose to "give my boyfriend something to hold onto", first of all, that picture IS my goal and the weight I've maintained as an adult healthfully for years, and second of all...
It is possibly the biggest misconception that women lose weight for men. Let me tell you, all a woman really needs to get a man is a vagina and confidence, both of which have nothing to do with weight. It's really quite easy to impress men. Impressing ourselves is much harder, but self love is the path to a much, much greater reward.
I think the same goes for men.
Well said!0 -
I know what you mean--I see women who are 5'0 and 115 lbs and people will tell them, "Why are you here at that weight? You shouldn't even be trying to lose weight. You're not even overweight.." It's fine for most 5'0 tall women to want to lose some weight at 115, depending on muscle mass and bone structure. I once had a question about my goal weight and didn't even try to post it here, just on my wall, where my friends were extremely supportive. More than one person joked about how I would have been torn to shreds if I posted on the forums--and my GW is not underweight.0
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Okay now that I have your attention - let me rephrase.
MFP doesn't hate thin people - it just doesn't address that particular category of men and women who are naturally slim and only looking to lose 5-20 pounds. Over and over again I am reading posts asking for help from that category of women, and the responses are nine times out of ten dismissive and ineffective.
Sure, we all realize that fitness is more important than losing 5 to 10 pounds.But we wouldn't be here if we didn't want to lose them. And so what if it is for vanity? Humans are vain, it is alright to indulge in that, as long as you are healthy! (Obviously, we are not encouraging eating disorders here!) The first 5-10 pound weight gain is, after all, the root of all excessive weight gain thereafter. And we have the right to get the support we need to lose it in a healthy way!
If you are in that boat, or have experience to share, please reply here, and add me as a friend. Thank you for listening.
(If you are going to be rude or condescending or insist on shoving your diet philosophy down my throat, then please save everybody's sanity and just don't respond. Go for a run and let it out, or something.)
Great! I need to lose 15 pounds! Request sent! But I must say that all of my friends are super nice and are really great motivation.0 -
But on the other hand, there is a lot of respect and admiration for the people who have been successful, so I think in this case, it's just like anywhere else. You get the good and the bad.0
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It is possibly the biggest misconception that women lose weight for men. Let me tell you, all a woman really needs to get a man is a vagina and confidence, both of which have nothing to do with weight. It's really quite easy to impress men. Impressing ourselves is much harder, but self love is the path to a much, much greater reward.
Wow. I gotta say I wasn't taking you very seriously until you said this. Very true.0 -
yeeeah, a mean i am very much NOT in the little bit to lose catogory but i can understand tthat... basically i think the forums can be very *****y about nearly anything you could talk about! mpf is a resource for anyone who wants it... even a few pounds can be the difference between feeling happy in your skin and feeling bad. i think is best to find some good friends on here and mainly get support through your updates from people you know are nice, the forums can be very unsuportive sometimes.0
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Hmmm...I've always felt very included in the forums, despite only trying to lose 20 lbs.0
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Hey everybody, I'm here too. I lost 9 pounds (5 of it while using mfp) and have gone down 3 sizes in clothing, but only lost an inch or 2 at most. I didn't know I needed to lose that much, it just happened as a result of my fitness and was a slow process. Now, I am on maintenance. I am very small and fit and don't want to lose anymore pounds. But, I do still want to continue working on my health, fitness and maintenance. Health is important whether you need to lose weight or not. A lot of people say it is difficult to lose that last 5 to 10 pounds, but it's not. Feel free to add me as a friend anyone here. And just for the record I don't think mfp hates thin people, and this was just a title to grab attention, so might as well just let the gal make some friends and chat.0
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I honestly think that as long as people are attempting to be more healthy (Regardless of whether they are trying to lost 100 pounds, 30 pounds, or 10 pounds) then people should be supportive. Just because you have less weight to reach your healthy goal, does not make your goal less important -- to you it is one of the most important things right now. If someone isn't being supportive, ignore them and move on. You don't need to put up with that.0
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I love MFPs skinny folks. I am learning from them everyday.0
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I am on exactly this position and while my friend list on MFP have been supportive my real friends are not so supportive. I have just come back from a party where everyone was bigger than me and was offered cake I accepted and said I would relax the diet tonight, my friend said you don't need to diet to which I replied if I didn't watch what I ate I would need to. I felt uncomfortable but I have worked hard to lose weight and will continue as I am it's my opinion that matters.0
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I'm with you, I want to lose 23 pounds and get kinda discouraged when people are saying >120 lbs is too thin. I think no matter how skinny you are as long as you're healthy and don't have an eating disorder, it's totally fine.0
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