Dealing with comments from other people

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  • GingerRunner
    GingerRunner Posts: 69
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    People tell me I'm "getting too thin" or "going to blow away". I look them in the eyes and say with a straight face "that's the point". Now it's their turn to figure out what to say. I figure my weight, my body, my business - i don't need commentary.

    Note: I only do this when the people are being serious. If they are kidding, i laugh right along with them.

    hahaha! you rock...that made me laugh. "I WON'T BE HAPPY UNTIL MY SKIN BARELY STRETCHES OVER MY BONES." That's what I will say if I *ever* have this problem. :-)
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    I think a lot of us are so used to looking at overweight people that they forget how fit people are supposed to look. Don't pander to their ignorance.

    This, exactly! Some people don't like it when overweight people lose weight because they don't want to be left behind or be forced to think about how THEY AREN'T fixing their own weight problems - oftentimes these thoughts are unconscious. But I think mostly people just dislike change. If you had always weighed, say, 150, they would think you looked great at 150, because they would be used to you like that.

    Real life example - I'm 5'7" and 130 pounds. Nobody gives me crap about it because I have always been thin. When my sister started losing weight, though, she got comments about wasting away into nothing, even though she's still 30 pounds heavier than me, because people were used to seeing her bigger.

    People can't help their skewed perceptions. I just say ignore the stupid comments and carry on. They will eventually get used to the new you. :flowerforyou:
  • beccannes
    beccannes Posts: 88
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    I am 5' 7.5", and I began my weight loss journey on August 4th, I clocked in at 203lbs and 43.8% body fat, and as on November 12th, through both diet and exercise, I am 171lbs and 32.5% body fat. So even though I have lost 32lbs and 11.3% body fat so far, I am still in the overweight category for my height and age. I am happier with my body, but still want to loose more, as I still not happy.

    The problem I am having is I am getting the classic comments of "I don't think you should lose any more weight, you'll disappear soon", and I even had a comment of one of my co-workers of "The other girls and I have been talking, and we think your starting to look gaunt, so I think you should stop losing weight", that comment took me back and made me doubt myself, but after asking my mother, my boyfriend and my best-friend about it, they assured me that I was looking fab.

    I just don't know how to deal with the don't lose any more weight comments, yes there has been a change, I have lost 2 dress sizes, but I'm still classed as overweight, and 10 years ago I was about 140lbs and 2 dress sizes smaller again than I am now. I don't want to be super skinny, I am exercising in order to tone my body, and gain a bit of muscle mass too. I just want to be happy and healthy. Do I ignore the comments, back up why I need/want to loose more, or politely tell them to back off? Please help!!!


    Reading this Thread it REALLY sounded like me 3 years ago. I had started Insanity/had my diet on point and lost quite a bit of weight! My co-workers were relentless; I think one of them even started the rumor that I had an eating disorder, another one called me sickly to my face when in all reality I had never been so healthy in my life. I was eating a balanced diet and technically eating more food during they day! The Biggest thing that you have to do is to realize that they are speaking out of jealousy; if they were indeed concerned they would not be making rude comments or calling you names. Once you realize their intentions you need to not let it bother you, easier said than done although remember *you* are the one who is in the right here. I would honestly just try to ignore them to begin with, if they make a comment just walk away and don't comment on it (especially if you don't want to confront them). If they continue it depends on how forward you want to be. You may have to call them out on it and say something along the lines of " Honestly your comment is quite rude and uncalled for, why would you want to judge someone for living a healthier lifestyle" if they make the comment that they were just "concerned" for you let them know that a true concerned friend would not make rude comments.
  • Maccbow
    Maccbow Posts: 53 Member
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    Go to the park.

    Find a duck.

    Take it home.

    Put it on the kitchen floor.

    Fill a glass with water.

    Pour it on the duck.

    Watch what the duck does.

    Be a duck.

    I love this reply!!! EXCELLENT suggestion!! :happy: I hope that you will allow those kind of comments to slide right by. YOU know what's good for YOU, and above all, DO NOT allow anyone to affect your plan!!
  • CrazyCatLadylovescats
    CrazyCatLadylovescats Posts: 107 Member
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    You look wonderful now, I am sure you will be absolutely stunning when you get to your weight. I have to agree with others - they want to look like you but don't know how.

    Give them the "the doctor said" bit, if you think it will help. Otherwise don't worry about them. You have nothing positive to gain by listening to them....listen to all of us. They are being rude. One time asking you about your weight is concern and being friendly (if worded friendly.) Continual comments are just rude. As is gossiping behind your back.

    Change the topic back to work if you can....after all, someone is paying you to work, not to talk about how much each of you weighs! You could even say that to them....may not be the politest reply, but your boss no doubt will appreciate your work ethic!
  • celebrity328
    celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
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    A lady I work with hadnt seen me in about 1-1.5 months now and this last week she asked me if I was dying :/ I asked her what would make her think that and she said I had lost so much weight that I had to be sick! I told her I was fine and that I was trying to lose the last bit of weight to reach my goal. She then told me I didnt need to lose weight because I was fine, and men like thick women anyways etc... she said all this to me while im eating my salad and shes downing a candy bar LOL :)! REALLY?!

    I have a couple people at work who give me smack about eating salads but I dont pay much mind to them anymore. I know my weight loss goals are sound/healthy decisions and thats between me and my doctor. I dont tell people anymore im trying to lose weight, they can see the results!
  • amaria9
    amaria9 Posts: 4 Member
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    A very simple "Hey, thanks for your input." and leave it at that. You know the old sayings about opinions and a**holes. Everyone's got one. Do what you know is best for you and don't waste time worrying about what other people say about you.

    Congrats on your success so far!!

    Great quote above! When responding to people, I'd add a little more: "Thanks for your concern, I really appreciate it!" And then tell them that you're committed to being healthy and you're confident that you're taking great care of yourself - the weight loss is just the result of you being healthy. Hopefully, that addresses the concern and the person drops the subject.

    Someone else mentioned another possibility, which could be true - you have someone who may be (consciously or unconsciously) trying to sabotage you due to their own insecurities or jealousy. If they keep harping on you - ignore them and smile!
  • FitinHonau
    FitinHonau Posts: 63 Member
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    No body should stop you! You are doing a fantastic job! You still need to lose some more then keep on going! Nobody thinks I am fat (I am 8k over) but I am unhappy and I can't wear what I would like to . I have a goal and I will not stop until I get there.
  • Nina2503
    Nina2503 Posts: 172 Member
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    You are doing great so should feel very proud of your success so far! Just remember you are doing this for you and not them.
  • miadhail
    miadhail Posts: 383 Member
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    I am 5' 7.5", and I began my weight loss journey on August 4th, I clocked in at 203lbs and 43.8% body fat, and as on November 12th, through both diet and exercise, I am 171lbs and 32.5% body fat. So even though I have lost 32lbs and 11.3% body fat so far, I am still in the overweight category for my height and age. I am happier with my body, but still want to loose more, as I still not happy.

    The problem I am having is I am getting the classic comments of "I don't think you should lose any more weight, you'll disappear soon", and I even had a comment of one of my co-workers of "The other girls and I have been talking, and we think your starting to look gaunt, so I think you should stop losing weight", that comment took me back and made me doubt myself, but after asking my mother, my boyfriend and my best-friend about it, they assured me that I was looking fab.

    I just don't know how to deal with the don't lose any more weight comments, yes there has been a change, I have lost 2 dress sizes, but I'm still classed as overweight, and 10 years ago I was about 140lbs and 2 dress sizes smaller again than I am now. I don't want to be super skinny, I am exercising in order to tone my body, and gain a bit of muscle mass too. I just want to be happy and healthy. Do I ignore the comments, back up why I need/want to loose more, or politely tell them to back off? Please help!!!

    Ignore them. Change topic when they are talking about you. Sometimes people just love to talk about that when they have nothing else to talk about. Sometimes it is just people's tactless way of saying that you are looking great. :) Great job on your progress!
  • capriciousmoon
    capriciousmoon Posts: 1,263 Member
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    I am 5' 7.5", and I began my weight loss journey on August 4th, I clocked in at 203lbs and 43.8% body fat, and as on November 12th, through both diet and exercise, I am 171lbs and 32.5% body fat. So even though I have lost 32lbs and 11.3% body fat so far, I am still in the overweight category for my height and age. I am happier with my body, but still want to loose more, as I still not happy.

    The problem I am having is I am getting the classic comments of "I don't think you should lose any more weight, you'll disappear soon", and I even had a comment of one of my co-workers of "The other girls and I have been talking, and we think your starting to look gaunt, so I think you should stop losing weight", that comment took me back and made me doubt myself, but after asking my mother, my boyfriend and my best-friend about it, they assured me that I was looking fab.

    I just don't know how to deal with the don't lose any more weight comments, yes there has been a change, I have lost 2 dress sizes, but I'm still classed as overweight, and 10 years ago I was about 140lbs and 2 dress sizes smaller again than I am now. I don't want to be super skinny, I am exercising in order to tone my body, and gain a bit of muscle mass too. I just want to be happy and healthy. Do I ignore the comments, back up why I need/want to loose more, or politely tell them to back off? Please help!!!

    Ignore or tell them you aren't doing it for them. You're working on being healthy and happy, that's not something people should discourage.

    I do think it was good to ask the opinion of people you know you can trust, since sometimes it really can be easy to go too far, but I doubt that has anything to do with the comments your co-workers are making.
  • Cariad1709
    Cariad1709 Posts: 3 Member
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    Thanks to everyone for their comments, advice and congratulations:smile: . I was set back a bit by the gaunt comment for a bit (only for an hour or so though), but I am generally just ignoring all these don't lose any more weight comments, they aren't upsetting my motivation, I will keep in mind the advice on how to get them back off if I need to, but I think will just "be a duck", he he :laugh: .

    The strange thing that the person who told be I'm looking gaunt is one of the skinniest people I know, and part of me almost replied "what like you", but I'm not like that, and I don't want to drag myself down to her level. One of my other co-workers said that she said it because she doesn't want anybody being as skinny as her. I don't want to be that skinny, like I said I want skinnier, but with some muscle definition (which I will concentrate on more once my body fat is reduced to a level I am happy with). I do seem to have gained muscle though, or these muscles were there anyway, just hidden away under fat.
  • brynnsmom
    brynnsmom Posts: 945 Member
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    Only you know what is right for you.

    I'll just say this - I've been at various weights throughout my adult life. I am at my smallest now. The only people who think I look "too thin" are the ones who knew me when I was fat.
  • Chadwick891
    Chadwick891 Posts: 72 Member
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    I had this exact same problem when I were at 88kg. I started at 112.65kg and lost down to about 91.8kg then I kept losing! I always thought I was fat!

    However, as it turns out I was skinny-fat or 'chubby for my size' so I started gaining weight over a year and now am back up to about 110kg and am going to lose it again (this time, much slower instead of 10 weeks like I did before) to look 'even better'

    But truth be said, you don't realize what you accomplished at the time until you start gaining weight again.
  • EdTheGinge
    EdTheGinge Posts: 1,616 Member
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    I'm getting it at the moment and I ignore it or just say 'I'll stop when I want to'. In most cases it's not that you're looking gaunt it's just that they're not use to you looking so well/thinner (not recently).

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