Dealing with comments from other people

I read my husband the quote from your co worker and he said "Replace 'Gaunt' with 'threatening' and it is probably accurate" Don't let other peoples comments get you down. What you should do is talk with your doctor. If they say you should stop losing weight then you should listen. If your SO is health minded and comfortable in your relationship then listen to them too. Otherwise ignore the negative comments, if someone gets negative with you say something like "Thanks for being concerned for me but I have talked with my doctor and I know what is healthy for me."

If they actually are concerned that should put their mind at ease, if they are just being jealous (and threatened like my husband said) then they will be more upset they are not getting on your nerves.

I've always got this a lot as I've got a naturally big build - body fat is now around 12.5% which is still far from 'fitness models' and a bit off most athletes.

The last person that relayed that someone else said I was looking 'gaunt' got the reply of "oh good, I'll take that as a compliment".

The problem is that if you look at a lot of it there's very little between a lot of us and those with an eating disorder - the main difference generally being the people on here generally are trying to do it to scientifically accepted standards.

In reality, most people that are saying things probably are trying to genuinely help - just they don't have the information we do to understand exactly what is right and wrong.

My plan is to gain muscle when I hit my target, but I'm determined to hit it regardless of how I look.
In reality, people are used to looking a certain will find it odd if you can fairly quickly affect a change.

Generally finding slimmer women more attractive I have to say that I've been impressed/interested in how different losing weight affects the way the face looks in the 'success stories' on here. Often that's the bit people really see and I'd never really considered how much it would change.

Currently I'm sporting a big bit of facial fluff, so a bit harder to judge how mine has changed - certainly be interesting when I come to remove it.

If you are losing weight and exercising, being healthy about it and not starving yourself, then others have no right to tell you what you should do. Continue doing what you need to do to get to goal, and be proud of what you've accomplished so far. Sometimes, other people are more jealous than helpful.

Absolutely! I love this response.

They are totally jealous of you!! Ask them if they would like you to begin making comments about their bodies and they will shut up.

I think sometimes people around us are so use to us being heavy/overweight that when we drop it and keep going, they think that we look or appear unhealthy. My opinion is that you get the the weight that you want and that is considered healthy by your doctor. GL and keep up the great work. When people say things like that, just tell them, that you are trying to get to a weight that is considered healthy, medically

People tell me I'm "getting too thin" or "going to blow away". I look them in the eyes and say with a straight face "that's the point". Now it's their turn to figure out what to say. I figure my weight, my body, my business - i don't need commentary.

Note: I only do this when the people are being serious. If they are kidding, i laugh right along with them.

hahaha! you rock...that made me laugh. "I WON'T BE HAPPY UNTIL MY SKIN BARELY STRETCHES OVER MY BONES." That's what I will say if I *ever* have this problem. :-)

I am 5' 7.5", and I began my weight loss journey on August 4th, I clocked in at 203lbs and 43.8% body fat, and as on November 12th, through both diet and exercise, I am 171lbs and 32.5% body fat. So even though I have lost 32lbs and 11.3% body fat so far, I am still in the overweight category for my height and age. I am happier with my body, but still want to loose more, as I still not happy.

The problem I am having is I am getting the classic comments of "I don't think you should lose any more weight, you'll disappear soon", and I even had a comment of one of my co-workers of "The other girls and I have been talking, and we think your starting to look gaunt, so I think you should stop losing weight", that comment took me back and made me doubt myself, but after asking my mother, my boyfriend and my best-friend about it, they assured me that I was looking fab.

I just don't know how to deal with the don't lose any more weight comments, yes there has been a change, I have lost 2 dress sizes, but I'm still classed as overweight, and 10 years ago I was about 140lbs and 2 dress sizes smaller again than I am now. I don't want to be super skinny, I am exercising in order to tone my body, and gain a bit of muscle mass too. I just want to be happy and healthy. Do I ignore the comments, back up why I need/want to loose more, or politely tell them to back off? Please help!!!

Reading this Thread it REALLY sounded like me 3 years ago. I had started Insanity/had my diet on point and lost quite a bit of weight! My co-workers were relentless; I think one of them even started the rumor that I had an eating disorder, another one called me sickly to my face when in all reality I had never been so healthy in my life. I was eating a balanced diet and technically eating more food during they day! The Biggest thing that you have to do is to realize that they are speaking out of jealousy; if they were indeed concerned they would not be making rude comments or calling you names. Once you realize their intentions you need to not let it bother you, easier said than done although remember *you* are the one who is in the right here. I would honestly just try to ignore them to begin with, if they make a comment just walk away and don't comment on it (especially if you don't want to confront them). If they continue it depends on how forward you want to be. You may have to call them out on it and say something along the lines of " Honestly your comment is quite rude and uncalled for, why would you want to judge someone for living a healthier lifestyle" if they make the comment that they were just "concerned" for you let them know that a true concerned friend would not make rude comments.

You look wonderful now, I am sure you will be absolutely stunning when you get to your weight. I have to agree with others - they want to look like you but don't know how.

Give them the "the doctor said" bit, if you think it will help. Otherwise don't worry about them. You have nothing positive to gain by listening to them....listen to all of us. They are being rude. One time asking you about your weight is concern and being friendly (if worded friendly.) Continual comments are just rude. As is gossiping behind your back.

Change the topic back to work if you can....after all, someone is paying you to work, not to talk about how much each of you weighs! You could even say that to them....may not be the politest reply, but your boss no doubt will appreciate your work ethic!

A very simple "Hey, thanks for your input." and leave it at that. You know the old sayings about opinions and a**holes. Everyone's got one. Do what you know is best for you and don't waste time worrying about what other people say about you.

Congrats on your success so far!!

Great quote above! When responding to people, I'd add a little more: "Thanks for your concern, I really appreciate it!" And then tell them that you're committed to being healthy and you're confident that you're taking great care of yourself - the weight loss is just the result of you being healthy. Hopefully, that addresses the concern and the person drops the subject.

Someone else mentioned another possibility, which could be true - you have someone who may be (consciously or unconsciously) trying to sabotage you due to their own insecurities or jealousy. If they keep harping on you - ignore them and smile!

You are doing great so should feel very proud of your success so far! Just remember you are doing this for you and not them.

I am 5' 7.5", and I began my weight loss journey on August 4th, I clocked in at 203lbs and 43.8% body fat, and as on November 12th, through both diet and exercise, I am 171lbs and 32.5% body fat. So even though I have lost 32lbs and 11.3% body fat so far, I am still in the overweight category for my height and age. I am happier with my body, but still want to loose more, as I still not happy.

The problem I am having is I am getting the classic comments of "I don't think you should lose any more weight, you'll disappear soon", and I even had a comment of one of my co-workers of "The other girls and I have been talking, and we think your starting to look gaunt, so I think you should stop losing weight", that comment took me back and made me doubt myself, but after asking my mother, my boyfriend and my best-friend about it, they assured me that I was looking fab.

I just don't know how to deal with the don't lose any more weight comments, yes there has been a change, I have lost 2 dress sizes, but I'm still classed as overweight, and 10 years ago I was about 140lbs and 2 dress sizes smaller again than I am now. I don't want to be super skinny, I am exercising in order to tone my body, and gain a bit of muscle mass too. I just want to be happy and healthy. Do I ignore the comments, back up why I need/want to loose more, or politely tell them to back off? Please help!!!

Ignore or tell them you aren't doing it for them. You're working on being healthy and happy, that's not something people should discourage.

I do think it was good to ask the opinion of people you know you can trust, since sometimes it really can be easy to go too far, but I doubt that has anything to do with the comments your co-workers are making.

Only you know what is right for you.

I'll just say this - I've been at various weights throughout my adult life. I am at my smallest now. The only people who think I look "too thin" are the ones who knew me when I was fat.

I'm getting it at the moment and I ignore it or just say 'I'll stop when I want to'. In most cases it's not that you're looking gaunt it's just that they're not use to you looking so well/thinner (not recently).