Angry? No, I'm not. Thanks.

jkrim941
jkrim941 Posts: 226 Member
in Chit-Chat
Someone in my life recently came up to me and asked me "Do you like being angry all the time?"

I, shocked at the question, responded very clamly that I am not angry and asked why the person perceives me that way. There was no answer just silence. I asked then what things that I had done that made that person think that I am angry all the time. Once again, silence and a blank stare. By now I am getting irritated with the lack of response. I don't appreciate the accusation if there is nothing to back up the original statement, but also don't want to alienate this person and their feelings.

Is what this person is doing a form of manipulation?

I have asked a few other friends and they disagree with the original statement (that I am angry all the time.) I am feeling that it may just be bait to pull me into an arguement.
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Replies

  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    I have asked a few other friends and they disagree with the original statement (that I am angry all the time.) I am feeling that it may just be bait to pull me into an arguement.

    Looks like you've fallen for it a bit.
  • TeresaWash
    TeresaWash Posts: 283
    LOL... wtf? Well, I don't know you but, you look quite friendly???
  • firelle
    firelle Posts: 118 Member
    You'd think the person would at least give an answer.. *whispers* I think they're just weird....

    Sometimes people just perceive us differently than others do. Some people say I'm a real sweetheart, while others admit "Well... sometimes.. like when you said [something I swore was OK]..." and I realize I do in fact have anger management issues lol.

    Let them think what they want to think, and brush it off. People might just say the wrong things sometimes.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    maybe they were projecting...maybe they're just a *kitten*. And that could make a person angry.

    Or maybe you were hangry....I wouldn't let one person ruin your mood, just blow it off.

    But I would say that my two closest friends and my bf recently told me that I need to get a filter for what comes out of my mouth. I was floored since I censor absolutely everything thing that comes out of my mouth. And I thought I was doing such a good job, it was a rather a shock to be told by those I love that I can be mean.

    So, I guess it could happen.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    I can't imagine someone saying that, and then just staring at you when you ask them to explain. I feel like there's a lot more to the story.
  • helengetshealthy
    helengetshealthy Posts: 171 Member
    I have come to the conclusion that all people are idiots, apart from the occasional good one (lots of good ones here on MFP, let me just get that straight!). If they ask you that again, just reply with "Angry? Hahah, I'm not. But... don't make me angry... you won't like me when I'm angry" and then run away from them screaming and beating your chest. Stupid questions deserve stupid answers, so you should have a laugh at their expense :)
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
    eh. Some people have no tolerance for reality. They can't differentiate "anger" from "don't have time to sugarcoat and spoonfeed". Simply by asking "why do you think I'm angry?" probably came over to them as you being angry, thus proving their point.


    Which is stupid, but that's the way people are, sometimes. Seriously, unless you have to work with, study with or ortherwise spend lots of time with that person in close proximity, I wouldn't waste time convincing them that you're actually not angry.
  • Rum_Runner
    Rum_Runner Posts: 617 Member
    I've asked that of my boss.... he just looks angry. Maybe your overall look might give off a sense of anger. Sometimes the way people carry themselves or act in general may give off such a perception. Maybe they couldn't articulate *why* they thought that about you, but don't take it negatively. Just be more aware of how you might be portraying yoruself to others.

    However, unless that person is close to you (co-worker or friend) I would never ask such a question to someone!! Weird and out of line.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    Passive aggressive jerk. I would not associate with this person anymore. That is toxic.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Don't know you...but I am accurately described as "intense." Often misunderstood as "angry."
  • Hendrix7
    Hendrix7 Posts: 1,903 Member
    asked why the person perceives me that way. There was no answer just silence.

    Maybe they were scared you would get angry.
  • Pulka_Dot
    Pulka_Dot Posts: 87 Member
    This goes along with the people that constantly ask "Are you okay?" because you're not walking around with a grin on your face. Well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me for not smiling like an idiot all the time.

    If I were to say to someone what was said you to, you better believe I'd have an answer when they ask why. There are times when I'm working and am deep in thought and apparently that makes me look angry. lol
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I can't imagine someone saying that, and then just staring at you when you ask them to explain. I feel like there's a lot more to the story.

    Pretty much I have to agree with this. I have a hard time with someone making a bold statement and then failing to explain when asked directly.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    This goes along with the people that constantly ask "Are you okay?" because you're not walking around with a grin on your face. Well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me for not smiling like an idiot all the time.

    If I were to say to someone what was said you to, you better believe I'd have an answer when they ask why. There are times when I'm working and am deep in thought and apparently that makes me look angry. lol
    AH! That makes me mental! I have a coworker that's always saying things like "SMILE!" or "Are you mad at me"?

    Ugh. I am NOW! It makes me want to fling things at her.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Passive aggressive jerk. I would not associate with this person anymore. That is toxic.

    See, THAT's what angry looks like. :drinker:
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Don't know you...but I am accurately described as "intense." Often misunderstood as "angry."

    This for me too....

    in fact my last boss, in my annual review, made a point of saying that "you look so intense in meetings, that you look really really angry, but you are one of the calmest, most professional, "water off your back like a duck" people that it's amazing really...

    I concentrate a lot...so I get this intense look...but I'm NEVER angry...

    and if that person said that to you but then won't back it up, either they fear confrontation and think you will give it to them....or they are just stirring up ****.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    Passive aggressive jerk. I would not associate with this person anymore. That is toxic.

    See, THAT's what angry looks like. :drinker:
    You bet.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    It might just be a look. I have had people tell me that before they knew me, they thought I was an angry person.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    It's similar to the question "have you stopped beating your wife?" where the question contains a false premise.
  • jkrim941
    jkrim941 Posts: 226 Member
    Ha ha ha. Yeah, it was so forward and out of the blue. Literally, they walked up, sat next to be, turned to me and -very seriously- asked me. I was like WTF? I must be doing something I don't know about. I want to findout what I'm doing. I'll ask why. And then nothing. And I, of course, definately got irritated and am honestly still irritated about it because I don't want to make them uncomfortable.

    Oh well, I guess! Give me an hour... By then I will be able to just let it slide.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Someone in my life recently came up to me and asked me "Do you like being angry all the time?"

    This "someone"...is it a man?
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
    All I have to say is wow. This behavior shows this person's ignorance and lack of tact. The person wanted to mess with your head.
  • jkrim941
    jkrim941 Posts: 226 Member
    Someone in my life recently came up to me and asked me "Do you like being angry all the time?"

    This "someone"...is it a man?

    It is.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I don't know what your background story is so I shall use my own example.

    If you ask my friends, they will say I am one of the funniest man they ever known and always have a smile on my face

    If you ask my family, they will say I am always angry and have a frown on my face.

    Sometimes, we can be 2 different person in front of different people. Whether this man is manipulating you or not, I can't say since, once again, I don't know your story. However, I know who I am in front of my family so I can see where they're coming from. Take a step back, notice how you interact with that person and judge for yourself. Might learn something.

    Good luck and if (s)he's just being nasty, then screw him/her!
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
    Someone in my life recently came up to me and asked me "Do you like being angry all the time?"

    I, shocked at the question, responded very clamly that I am not angry and asked why the person perceives me that way. There was no answer just silence. I asked then what things that I had done that made that person think that I am angry all the time. Once again, silence and a blank stare. By now I am getting irritated with the lack of response. I don't appreciate the accusation if there is nothing to back up the original statement, but also don't want to alienate this person and their feelings.


    Silence and a blank stare? Uh....dont get mad but, did you try loosening your grip on this person's throat? LOL
  • AReasor
    AReasor Posts: 355 Member
    I think he was trying to hit on you in a completely inappropriate and douchey way. And it didn't go so well for him.
  • Adina81
    Adina81 Posts: 252 Member
    maybe what they meant to say was 'intimidating'

    I use to get 'you look angry' but what it was that the person felt intimidated by me (a few people actually)
    I am a pretty forward person and loud....so it could just be your personality.
    I wouldn't think much of it. you are who you are.
  • irishcanadianwoman
    irishcanadianwoman Posts: 147
    Don't read too much into it. Stupid comment from them!
    Maybe an answer like, "Are you asking me if it is normal for you to feel angry all the time? No it isn't normal. I'd advise you get some professional help. Have a nice day!"
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    Maybe you don't smile enough. Maybe you're not very nice to people and just unaware?
  • drmerc
    drmerc Posts: 2,603 Member
    u mad?

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