How the eff does one approach an attractive women?

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Replies

  • sportytalldoll
    sportytalldoll Posts: 208 Member
    if you can make her laugh - you can ask her out....persoanlly for me - sense of humor, eye contact, and a manly voice win me over.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    Just be you. Walk up to her and strike up a casual conversation. If she's cool and down to earth, she'll talk to you....if she's a complete bit¢h, she'll blow you off (not literally). Trust me, the stuck up bit¢hes aren't worth one second of your time.

    Confidence is key...there is nothing sexier than a confident man. Hey, the worst that can happen is she say's "no thanks"....but don't take it personal...she may just already be involved.

    Anything worth having...is worth sticking your neck out for..or stepping outside your comfort zone

    Good luck:drinker:
    this!
  • charelg
    charelg Posts: 599 Member
    Just say hi! :)
  • DaphneAtx
    DaphneAtx Posts: 153
    I am far from a baller ladies man...but I have gotten better with the issue you're not facing.

    A lot of your success is going to come in the form of trial and error my man. Above all else, you've got to overcome the fear of failure. You're going to fail, not all women are going to dig you, you're going to make mistakes...and that's OKAY. They're all learning experiences that you'll reflect and beat yourself up on later. If you really want to get better with women, you'll have to keep putting yourself out there and refining your practice...It's the same principal with all things...You'll never climb the ladder to success with your hands in your pockets.

    Some general tips that I find effective in most situations.

    1. Take up space. You're a man, let your body language show that your comfortable in your own skin.
    2. Keep her talking, but don't interrogate her...be engaging. Find something relevant about the situation and go from there.
    3. Make eye contact when she starts speaking and when you speak...but be sure to take a few glances down towards her feet from time to time.
    4. Take time to digest what she says...Don't be afraid of a pause it shows you actually give a ****.
    5. Punctuate your main points with a subtle tap on the elbow or arm...bridge the physical gap.

    Hope this helps bro.

    Great advice, but you just have to take off your shirt to have the women chasing YOU.
  • ShaeLovelyy
    ShaeLovelyy Posts: 55
    The key is to get more secure with yourself. Stop fearing rejection so much. Realize that its a part of life..im a decently hot girl and ive been hit on a million times..ive rejected guys and ive been rejected..ya just got keep getting back into it! Theres someone out there for everyone..but until you find that someone..test drivee as much equipment as ya can :laugh:
    Just have fun and be yourself..no cheesy pickup lines dont work..and no walking up wwith your wallet doesnt work unless you want a gold digging *kitten* lol The less you fear rejection and the easier you get over it...the more you will try to talk to girls! And eventually you will succeed!
  • peles_fire
    peles_fire Posts: 501
    Like you would any other woman.
  • tkcasta
    tkcasta Posts: 405 Member
    Try "Hi, how are you? My name is ___" And then just wait for a response, any interested party will strike up a conversation. And then offer to buy her a drink. Don't make it a big deal.
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
    Just say hi.
  • SammyLou28
    SammyLou28 Posts: 36
    Use friendliness and humor. If she acts like she is too good for you, don't sweat it. Don't waste your time pining for snobs.
  • MaintainCats
    MaintainCats Posts: 222 Member
    It isn't hard. Women aren't scary (attractive or otherwise), just people.

    If she is reading a book ask her what it is about. If she is at a coffee shop ask her what she recommends. If she is outside and it is nice weather comment on that. If it is raining offer up an umbrella share.

    Also, online dating is a thing, a decent thing. Lots of people seem to meet their mate this way now.

    Just be confident but not arrogant and you are fine!
  • ThePartyGoblin
    ThePartyGoblin Posts: 42
    Mate all it takes is Confidence, being yourself, being respectful and talking to them like a person not like an object!

    Honestly just get to know them and just listen to them!

    This is the best advice I've ever seen a dude give.
    Huge props, my friend.
  • runmybunsoff
    runmybunsoff Posts: 224 Member
    I don't have much advice for you but I am rooting for ya, OP! Good luck!
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
    Honestly, I don't get approached much (if at all), maybe I just don't fall in the attractive category. But I think anything better than "hey baby, wazzup?" or "damn, you look hot!" will do for most of us.
  • Manarelle
    Manarelle Posts: 33 Member
    http://this-isnt-pr0n.blogspot.com/2012/11/how-to-approach-woman-part-1.html


    Not entirely SFW, but some good info in there, and written from a female point of view.
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
    It may be due to my extreme online gaming that I am the worlds most socially awkward group person. But not a thousand complements or tequila shots could make me approach nearly any lady who I had not yet been acquainted with.

    I have been told it's just confidence etc etc, different methods such as ignoring her or just going straight up to her, but getting shut down by someone just frikken , makes me want to crawl in a whole.

    Any tips from ladies or you baller guys? Do I just wait until I have cut to my ideal body shape, invest in ruphies (just kidding) ... Gosh.


    It seems your undermining the "confidence" part, I say this because of the "ect ect" after you mention it. Just my opinion. I think confidence has A LOT to do with it. I don't think it's a matter of waiting to get to your "ideal body shape'. I'm still "over weight" per say, but never lacked the confidence to approach attractive woman. To the contrary, now, I try not to even talk to attractive woman, so as not to tempt myself. I've been a good boy for a long while now.

    I'd try practicing talking to people period! Even a guy, not in a "gay" way, forgive me, I'm not homophobic, I just don't want anyone misconstruing what I'm saying. I think you need to build up confidence in just speaking period. My opinion, I wouldn't even kid around about the "drugging" thing, it just sounds bad, even when your "kidding", ugghh. Next try talking to woman you don't find attractive, just small talk, get yourself comfortable with being in there presence and not feeling awkward. I think there are definitely some steps you need to take before you will feel ready to talk to the attractive girl, sounds like you know it already, but are you willing to apply them, or think that magically it'll just happen? Is it, did it, for weight lose? No, you gotta work on it.
    Put down the online gaming for a day, and practice!
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    Just do it, you have nothing to lose.
  • alanahbastion
    alanahbastion Posts: 48
    confidence dude
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
    I looked at your pics, you're a cutey, so you got that part out of the way. You just gotta go up to them and say whatever comes to your mind! Chances are, they are wondering the same thing about you!
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    http://www.youtube.com/user/SimplePickup

    Watch some of these videos..

    It is extremely flattering to be approached by a guy and most girls will talk to you for a minute even if they realize they are not interested in you (just because its stinkin' awesome! women don't really get approached as much as everyone seems to think...).

    And as the women in these youtube videos have convinced me...you can make a complete *kitten* of yourself and still get someone's number....

    ...sad but true.
  • heather_huggins
    heather_huggins Posts: 194 Member
    it's hard for me to give advice on this one. i'm one who is so oblivious to any man flirting/hitting on me. i can go to the bar and have a nice conversation w/ a guy about the weather, where i'm from or "what brings me here" and i can walk away and my friends will be like "heather, that guy was hitting on you." and i'm like what?! are you serious? a simple conversation w/ a guy about whatever means he's flirting w/ me? all i can say is, just talk to her. don't make it like a big deal about looks or rejection. just walk up, and talk. be polite. if you're at a bar, offer her a drink. if you're at a store or restaurant, hold the door open for her. little things are very nice to us ladies. it doesn't take much to flatter a woman (unless she's incredibly conceited, in that case you don't want anything to do with her) just smile and make her laugh :) that should work. like i said though, i'm not an expert in this area =p
  • BritneysStuntDouble
    BritneysStuntDouble Posts: 849 Member
    I hear that lots of people are hooking up in this dirty group here on MFP. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/9536-nc-17-uncensored-and-offensive Post a pic of your stuff, and watch the offers just roll in! :drinker:
  • heather_huggins
    heather_huggins Posts: 194 Member
    http://www.youtube.com/user/SimplePickup

    Watch some of these videos..

    It is extremely flattering to be approached by a guy and most girls will talk to you for a minute even if they realize they are not interested in you (just because its stinkin' awesome! women don't really get approached as much as everyone seems to think...).

    And as the women in these youtube videos have convinced me...you can make a complete *kitten* of yourself and still get someone's number....

    ...sad but true.


    i agree with this! any woman would be flattered just to have a man approach her. it makes her feel good, and if you can make her feel good just by having a conversation with her, you've done a pretty good job :)
  • kiraleilani
    kiraleilani Posts: 124 Member
    The guys that didn't get the are-you-freaking-serious-get-the-hell-away-from-me-you're-lame look from me were the ones who approached me and started a genuine conversation with me. I couldn't stand when guys came up to me and were obviously just looking to "pick me up." I hated it when guys approached me and said, "Hey pretty lady" or "What a beautiful smile" blah blah blah, even if they were confident. The winners were, "Hey, how are you?" Just started up a normal conversation with me. Said something funny, acted normal. Showed their real colors.

    Basically, a woman knows if you're trying to pick her up. If you'd like to meet a girl, just start talking to her normally. Make her laugh and interested.

    Another thing... Be yourself! I see an awful lot of advice on here about "confidence" but some girls dig shy, quiet guys. Forcing a faked aura of confidence isn't who you are and looks silly.

    Good luck :)
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    All the advice in the world won't get you there. . You just have to believe it and that's the real trick. It's impossible to fake. If you see a woman and BELIEVE she's interested in you (and why the hell wouldn't she be?). .Then she will be. . It's that simple. But if you don't really believe it. . all the way to your core. . then she'll magically know that and she won't be. .

    But. . hey. . I've been through every phase there is. . I was incredibly shy and awkward when I was in high school. .Then I found my confidence in College. . then lost it for a few years. . Then got it back. .then got married. . Divorced. . (lost it). .Now it's back. .but it won't be here forever. .

    One piece of advice I will give you. . Women are NOT superior evil godlike beings that are just waiting for the chance to strike you dead . . You don't have to feel like they are doing you a favor just by condescending to speak to you. .They are just as interested in meeting guys as you are in meeting them. And also. .MOST women are pretty nice. You'll be surprised. . Don't go in for the kill right away. . practice by having short conversations with women in the line at the store or wherever . Don't hit on them. .just talk to them . .This will help you get comfortable with the mere idea of SPEAKING to a woman. . After that. . the pieces will start to fall together. .

    Good luck!
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    All you have to do is exude confidence, whether you have it or not. :wink:

    Impossible to fake. If you are faking it. .it doesn't exude . .
  • nphect
    nphect Posts: 474
    All you have to do is exude confidence, whether you have it or not. :wink:

    Impossible to fake. If you are faking it. .it doesn't exude . .

    Confucius say we all fake it on some level
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    All you have to do is exude confidence, whether you have it or not. :wink:

    Impossible to fake. If you are faking it. .it doesn't exude . .

    I've got mad exude action on my fake confidence. It so is possible!
  • nphect
    nphect Posts: 474
    All you have to do is exude confidence, whether you have it or not. :wink:

    Impossible to fake. If you are faking it. .it doesn't exude . .

    I've got mad exude action on my fake confidence. It so is possible!

    fooled me I'm sold.
  • Hannah645
    Hannah645 Posts: 75 Member
    Birthday parties are always a great place to meet girls. You can strike up a conversation with someone by asking them how they met the birthday boy/girl. Then you tell them how you know them or trade funny stories. Most women like to do the majority of the talking, so be a present listener. Knowing mutual people really helps because it instantly gives you something in common to talk about.

    Genuine smiles take the creepiness out of eye contact. Some previous poster mentioned bridging the physical gap. It's a great idea, but I'd wait at least until she feels comfortable enough to laugh with you. When you're ending the conversation, do the light arm tap and say something like, "It was really great meeting you again _____. I hope to see ya around." For some reason, guys who have touched me lightly make more of a lasting impression.

    Don't fret! I play online games as well and date a guy exactly your size haha.
  • Flame073
    Flame073 Posts: 62
    I find sidling up to them sideways and putting on your biggest, best puppydog eyes works a treat.

    the first half of this statement had me thinking very different things than where you took it. good on you

    HAHA.. I was wondering where this was going too .. pheww

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