Thanksgiving Rants - I'll start

sunsnstatheart
sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm actually very pumped about this Thanksgiving because it looks like while we are living close to extended family, I will be dining with just my wife and kids this year! I love this because the food will be great, my oldest will help and it will be pleasant.

Every time we get together with extended family we end up buying all the food and cooking while my sister-in-law, her husband and their kids sit on their lazy *kitten* and literally do nothing but complain. My wife's mother will cook occasionally but the problem is my wife is a much better cook and I also enjoy helping. If it was just the cooking it would be okay but these people literally do nothing. No chipping in for food, no doing dishes, nothing. This has happened every holiday, family get together, etc. since my wife and I have known each other. If we go out to dinner for some reason, I always get stuck with the check. My brother-in-law has picked up exactly 1 check in years. After years of putting up with it and *****ing about it I finally put my foot down recently and basically said I've had enough. This pretty much means they will go away because they are only around for free stuff.

No need to give advice. Just needed to rant. Feel free to add yours.
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Replies

  • MelisRunning
    MelisRunning Posts: 819 Member
    Here! Here!
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    Actually, I have no rants this year!
    Usually we have to go eat at my MIL and she isn't a stellar cook. My husband knows this and also knows my fam fam can cook, so we are going to visit for Turkey day and not eating which means I don't have to cook and then we are heading to my family's house for some good food :drinker: :drinker:
  • RunnerInVT
    RunnerInVT Posts: 226 Member
    I cleared the table one Holiday, then went in the living room to nurse my youngest, and when I was done, went in to the kitchen to help finish up...mother in law, in a drunken stupor, said, "we are so sick of you". (Who is "we" and why didn't anyone else say anything? (Sister in law was there, and Mother in Laws twin sister) I went back into the living room, not intending to tell my husband. He knew immediately something happened, and without a word, he picked up the children, and told me we were leaving. It never happened again. I now do ALL the cooking AND cleaning and I don't ask her for any help. I don't even care if she helps me. I have not said a word about that day. She quit drinking and we now have a wonderful relationship! Go figure.
    (She does buy a bunch of PIES though!)
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    I cleared the table one Holiday, then went in the living room to nurse my youngest, and when I was done, went in to the kitchen to help finish up...mother in law, in a drunken stupor, said, "we are so sick of you". (Who is "we" and why didn't anyone else say anything? (Sister in law was there, and Mother in Laws twin sister) I went back into the living room, not intending to tell my husband. He knew immediately something happened, and without a word, he picked up the children, and told me we were leaving. It never happened again. I now do ALL the cooking AND cleaning and I don't ask her for any help. I don't even care if she helps me. I have not said a word about that day. She quit drinking and we now have a wonderful relationship! Go figure.
    (She does buy a bunch of PIES though!)

    Sounds like my wife's MIL only nothing changed . . . ;-)
  • junodog1
    junodog1 Posts: 4,792 Member
    I have a rant. One brother moved to California, one to SC and my dad had the nerve to die two years ago. The gathering is shrinking. The years when we do all get together are too far apart. This year it's two out of five of us kids able to come to my Mom's. How dare we grow up and have lives of our own? Some times in your life you wish you could freeze, and that includes some thanksgiving times I spent with my husbands family.

    Life is good and I am thankful.
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    I will be thousands of miles away from all my family this Thanksgiving.

    :(
  • wordpainter09
    wordpainter09 Posts: 472 Member
    I have one. I love my family, including the in law side, but my super skinny mother in law (who is 105, maybe after 4 kids) always complains that she's fat and such and needs to watch her figure. Just what the rest of the folks need to hear after eating half their body weight in carbohydrates.
  • bucket0
    bucket0 Posts: 7 Member
    Since you asked... I'm doing the NuLean detox this week. I'm sticking with the liquid/veggie diet and working out every day. I think I'm doing great and I'm fine with continuing through Thanksgiving. Unfortunately my family has decided to make it a big deal that I'm not going to be stuffing my face with them. And they won't let it go. So instead of getting the congratulations I think I deserve for my awesome willpower, I'm getting *****ed at worse than when my retail job kept me from being able to even visit anyone because of black Friday.

    But... I feel great and just might end up slimmer for Christmas :D
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    I only have one complaint. It happened the thanksgiving after my son was born. My cousin and I both had babies, she is not my blood cousin either, our son's were only a few days apart and my aunts husband (I will never claim him as an uncle) said to my cousin "You are tiny for having a baby." than looks at me and says "You're not, sorry not everyone I guess knows how to get back to their before baby body but she's had 2 babies you only have 1, no excuse really." I swear I wanted to cry or punch the *kitten*, instead I looked at him and said "Well we aren't all made the same and your rude comment was not asked for."

    I doubt I ever forget that. Actually my aunt has sense divorced him so he will no longer be at Thanksgiving which this year I'm a bit sad about because I'm smaller than that cousin now. And I have a (baby) she's not quite 2 yet.
  • JustANumber85
    JustANumber85 Posts: 644 Member
    I just wish my family gave a hoot and still did Holidays. All i hear since my grandma passed away (she was the main one who did it all) is " Start your own traditions". (insert rolled eyes)

    ETA: This is coming from my mom and dad who on Thursday will be going to Golden Corral and I will be going to a friends house.
  • campi_mama
    campi_mama Posts: 350 Member
    Since you asked... I'm doing the NuLean detox this week. I'm sticking with the liquid/veggie diet and working out every day. I think I'm doing great and I'm fine with continuing through Thanksgiving. Unfortunately my family has decided to make it a big deal that I'm not going to be stuffing my face with them. And they won't let it go. So instead of getting the congratulations I think I deserve for my awesome willpower, I'm getting *****ed at worse than when my retail job kept me from being able to even visit anyone because of black Friday.

    But... I feel great and just might end up slimmer for Christmas :D
    I'm just wondering...why didn't you wait till after Thanksgiving? Not like it snuck up on you :huh:
    It really seems like you want the attention this will bring..."Oh look at her willpower". Enjoy the family time, don't try to find a way to get the spotlight on you and your "awesome willpower".
  • tigtigs
    tigtigs Posts: 52
    No rant...looking forward to spending the day with my husband and our great friends that essentially are family! Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
    I'm stuck in China eating Thanksgiving dinner with a bunch of coworkers I only kinda like. My family and best friends are all getting together....
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    My only rant is that I won't be with my fiance this Thanksgiving. Sad. (the only upside to that is his mom is the world's worst cook and she won't let anyone else help) We are going to my twin's MIL's house. But we'll do the cooking in her kitchen because she admittedly can't cook anything except hot dogs or frozen pizza, lol. We usually do it at our house but since we're moving on the 30th our house is halfway packed and not conducive to having a big dinner or guests.

    Something I'm excited about: the Y where I workout is open from 7-1 so I can workout in the morning! And my favorite class is one of the 3 classes they are offering that day. The instructors will no doubt make sure we burn plenty of calories to afford to splurdge at dinner!
  • beekuzz
    beekuzz Posts: 428 Member
    Just one: I can only stand one dang holiday at a time. At this ridiculous rate of having Christmas shoved down my throat well before Thanksgiving, takes the joy out and I'm seriously thinking of boycotting. I used to love most holidays, but as an adult it's just all too commercialized and it just sucks the love out.

    In our house, we would get to put up the Christmas lights on Dec. 1st and leave them until Jan 2nd. There's no anticipation anymore - one holiday's commercials just run into the next one.

    I refuse! I am boycotting black friday and definitely boycotting places that make people work on Thanksgiving night.

    Ok, I'm done.ranting. Thanks, now onto to bed so I can start cooking tomorrow morning.
  • PHXBlondie
    PHXBlondie Posts: 26 Member
    I'm just wondering...why didn't you wait till after Thanksgiving? Not like it snuck up on you :huh:
    It really seems like you want the attention this will bring..."Oh look at her willpower". Enjoy the family time, don't try to find a way to get the spotlight on you and your "awesome willpower".

    Really? That's the nicest thing you could think of to say? I mean really ... we've all eaten Thanksgiving dinner many, many times. It's not like we don't know what it tastes like. So, what's the big deal if someone wants to stick to their program over the holidays? And why did her willpower bother you so much that you had to accuse her of wanting to get attention. That's just mean.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    I'm just wondering...why didn't you wait till after Thanksgiving? Not like it snuck up on you :huh:
    It really seems like you want the attention this will bring..."Oh look at her willpower". Enjoy the family time, don't try to find a way to get the spotlight on you and your "awesome willpower".

    Really? That's the nicest thing you could think of to say? I mean really ... we've all eaten Thanksgiving dinner many, many times. It's not like we don't know what it tastes like. So, what's the big deal if someone wants to stick to their program over the holidays? And why did her willpower bother you so much that you had to accuse her of wanting to get attention. That's just mean.

    Um did you read the OP? OP stated that she wanted to be congratulated(AKA attention) by her family for her awesome willpower... so there was no accusing going on.

    Anyway on to the actual topic..
    This year is being spent with my mom and my dad.. and thats the way I like it. We bought our turkey yesterday, and my mom and I will be doing a turkey trot thanksgiving morning.

    We used to go to a family friends house... but that stopped as people got older.

    We also used to have family over for christmas but that stopped too, as the one year we made a beef roast for 8 people, and my dads family takes one look at it and goes "oh well we're vegetarians now.. we don't eat meat" Um excuse you?! and after that we never had Christmas again.
  • JeffinRaleigh
    JeffinRaleigh Posts: 85
    Any inclination to rant I may have is overcome by remembering that my nephew just returned from Afghanistan last night and will be at the Thanksgiving table tomorrow. Y'all have a great holiday ... hope it goes smoothly for everyone. :)
  • wrevhn
    wrevhn Posts: 864 Member
    :sad:

    I'm going to the in laws! Someone please give me a bad flu virus! I need a good excuse to stay home and hide in the covers!


    I literally have to bring a few mini bottles of vodka to keep me calm. The holidays have become so stressful I no longer enjoy them! My in laws hate me, and I know it. They force a bit o' nice out here n' there. But Its all so uncomfortable.

    I mean, for gods sake! My own hubs is tense around his family. He is never himself, can't sit still. When I met him, he was a skeleton, he said he was too stressed by his family and job to eat much. And we won't touch the favoritism or always making him do labor.

    And I don't really like their food.
  • witchy_wife
    witchy_wife Posts: 792 Member
    Any inclination to rant I may have is overcome by remembering that my nephew just returned from Afghanistan last night and will be at the Thanksgiving table tomorrow. Y'all have a great holiday ... hope it goes smoothly for everyone. :)

    That is awesome!
  • wrevhn
    wrevhn Posts: 864 Member
    Also OP, I'm happy for you, for getting the Thanksgiving you want. :flowerforyou: One day I hope I do. Blessings to you and all households.
  • JeffinRaleigh
    JeffinRaleigh Posts: 85
    Any inclination to rant I may have is overcome by remembering that my nephew just returned from Afghanistan last night and will be at the Thanksgiving table tomorrow. Y'all have a great holiday ... hope it goes smoothly for everyone. :)

    That is awesome!
    Thanks, witchy! :smile:
  • bikhi
    bikhi Posts: 175
    :sad:

    I'm going to the in laws! Someone please give me a bad flu virus! I need a good excuse to stay home and hide in the covers!


    I literally have to bring a few mini bottles of vodka to keep me calm. The holidays have become so stressful I no longer enjoy them! My in laws hate me, and I know it. They force a bit o' nice out here n' there. But Its all so uncomfortable.

    I mean, for gods sake! My own hubs is tense around his family. He is never himself, can't sit still. When I met him, he was a skeleton, he said he was too stressed by his family and job to eat much. And we won't touch the favoritism or always making him do labor.

    And I don't really like their food.
    i would stay home. we used to go to his children's on christmas eve and i was always hated it. it was an hour and a half drive away and my husband would get drunk and mean so i would drive home at two in the morning listening to him beef about everything on the way home.

    his kids got to the point that they weren't talking to each other and we had to go to more than one house. i finally put my foot down and refused to go until his kids were talking to each other again. that never happened so i would spend christmas eve alone in peace. i would have a couple glasses of champagne and a snack or two.

    now that he is dead i never have to worry about it again. sounds cold but his family and he always made my former fave holiday one i dreaded.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    I get together with my extended family on Saturday. This year, again, we will gather without my oldest sister who passed away in 1998 and without my precious Mom, who passed away at Easter 2 years ago. Both from long battles with cancer. Our family is far from perfect and there are always things that will annoy me about someone. I'm sure I annoy them at times too. BUT, they are also the people I grew up with, played with, cried with, mourned with, snuck out of the house with, ate meals with, looked up to, fought with, took care of and they are the only ones on this Earth that know my history. For just the memories with them, I am thankful. I also hope for a few more years with my 86 year old father. There are so many people who do not have loved ones to celebrate with during the holidays, people without homes, people without jobs. I am thankful for what I do have - no matter how imperfect! :flowerforyou:
  • cowgirlashlee
    cowgirlashlee Posts: 301 Member
    No rant here...yet! We're eating at MY house, with food I picked and my mom cooks (she was a cook in a nice restaurant for several years before I was born, so she's got the mass cooking thing DOWN!), and since it's both sides of the family, my mom's outgoing and fun family will mediate my dad's argumentative and you-must-think-like-me family.

    Usually, my dad's mom drives me NUTS on holidays, but not this year I hope. Now do a post like this for Christmas time...I'll have a BIG rant then.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    MIL is a big food pusher, constantly filling people's plates with food they don't like. She still hasn't learned her 49 y/o son hates veggies (she saved his untouched cauliflower and carrots from last night). Thanksgiving isn't about having every root veggie Newfoundland can grow or a *kitten*-ton of food in general.

    I have to act like a ninja to get my food, otherwise it's a knife fight to keep the GD veggies I hate off my plate. They also have this fascination with serving me corn because I'm from Iowa. They think I have to have corn with every meal. Also, they think I need to have 2 Thanksgiving meals because I'm American. Canada has theirs in October. I'm fine with one Thanksgiving; granted it's weird to have it before Halloween, but that's me.

    And they never have pumpkin pie. WTF? :huh: Though the Beothics may not have had pumpkins, they sure as hell didn't have tiramisu! I bought a pumpkin pie this year for Canadian Thanksgiving and guess what? IT VANISHED. Even the non-dessert eaters ate pumpkin pie.

    Just so this isn't all IL hate, my maternal grandmother enjoyed picking on what I ate. Her picking got so bad I got my food and hid in the car to eat from then on. Then her mantra became "How is Zyxst so fat? I never see her eat?" I'm glad that b*tch is dead.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    I get together with my extended family on Saturday. This year, again, we will gather without my oldest sister who passed away in 1998 and without my precious Mom, who passed away at Easter 2 years ago. Both from long battles with cancer. Our family is far from perfect and there are always things that will annoy me about someone. I'm sure I annoy them at times too. BUT, they are also the people I grew up with, played with, cried with, mourned with, snuck out of the house with, ate meals with, looked up to, fought with, took care of and they are the only ones on this Earth that know my history. For just the memories with them, I am thankful. I also hope for a few more years with my 86 year old father. There are so many people who do not have loved ones to celebrate with during the holidays, people without homes, people without jobs. I am thankful for what I do have - no matter how imperfect! :flowerforyou:

    So agree with you Jan!

    My family can drive me crazy - and I'm sure that I'm no peach all the time.

    Yet, these are the people who pick me up when I fall, who hold my hand when I'm sad, who show up when my basement is flooding with water. These people are there to celebrate and mourn with me. They have watched me grow, and I have watched some of them grow. I couldn't imagine a different group of people to spend a special day with.

    We all have our own issues and no family is perfect. But before you start casting stones, think about what your life would be like without your family. And maybe take some ownership for your part in whatever problems exist. And then, think about the people who don't have a family and maybe, just maybe, be a little nicer to yours this Thanksgiving.
  • zombilishious
    zombilishious Posts: 1,250 Member
    OP - your usual Thanksgiving sounds like mine. I cook for around 30 people - all my in-laws (hubby is the oldest of 6) because my family is in another state. No one helps, no one brings a dish, no one helps clean up. They show up, eat, pack up leftovers and leave. It's unsocial and insulting. My mother in law passed away in 2010. I did Thanksgiving that year, but it was worse than usual, so I decided I'd had enough and we only had our immediate family last year. This year, my brother and his new girlfriend are coming to visit. I have no problem cooking for them, my hubby and my kids. However, some of my in-laws have called to say they want to come over and visit tomorrow. I hope it's for the company, and not just because my stuffing doesn't come out of a box, but I'm expecting the worst. Oh yeah, and I'll have to hide the medicine and all handheld portable electronics, games, DVDs, etc.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    I get together with my extended family on Saturday. This year, again, we will gather without my oldest sister who passed away in 1998 and without my precious Mom, who passed away at Easter 2 years ago. Both from long battles with cancer. Our family is far from perfect and there are always things that will annoy me about someone. I'm sure I annoy them at times too. BUT, they are also the people I grew up with, played with, cried with, mourned with, snuck out of the house with, ate meals with, looked up to, fought with, took care of and they are the only ones on this Earth that know my history. For just the memories with them, I am thankful. I also hope for a few more years with my 86 year old father. There are so many people who do not have loved ones to celebrate with during the holidays, people without homes, people without jobs. I am thankful for what I do have - no matter how imperfect! :flowerforyou:

    So agree with you Jan!

    My family can drive me crazy - and I'm sure that I'm no peach all the time.

    Yet, these are the people who pick me up when I fall, who hold my hand when I'm sad, who show up when my basement is flooding with water. These people are there to celebrate and mourn with me. They have watched me grow, and I have watched some of them grow. I couldn't imagine a different group of people to spend a special day with.

    We all have our own issues and no family is perfect. But before you start casting stones, think about what your life would be like without your family. And maybe take some ownership for your part in whatever problems exist. And then, think about the people who don't have a family and maybe, just maybe, be a little nicer to yours this Thanksgiving.

    And one more thing - it's one day people. You can be nice for one day of the year. No matter how anyone else acts - I am accountable for how I behave and at the end of the day - I can feel good as I drive the 3 hours back to home!!
  • wrevhn
    wrevhn Posts: 864 Member
    being nice for one day is hard when an entire family is encouraging divorce the second you are not with the SO

    outside of all the belittling, snickering, and alienating. But even smiley snarky comments are hard on me. I'm an unmedicated bipo. (bipolar) unmedicated do to bad reactions to nearly every medication they put me on.

    its easy to judge a situation your not in. but try to remember, this time of the year is hard on some ppl. and a "suck it up" attitude and lecture is not really going to help.

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