Is this corny?

SoldierDad
SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
edited September 20 in Chit-Chat
Ok, so i actually sat down and took like a 20 minute lunch today and tried writting a love song for my wife.... I am not a writter... But I thought I would break out the ol' guitar and sing this to her. If yall think this is too dumb I will just sing her the song we got married to ( I Do, its a country song). Ok, here goes, and keep in mind that I am not a song writter, or poet or anything....

My darling lady,
your eyes shine so bright,
brighter than the stars at night.
The sweetness of your smile
makes my whole life worth while.
The beauty of your face,
the warmth of your embrace.
I love you completely,
adore you deeply
my darling Lady.

I love you madly, deeply,
with all my heart completely.
You are so beautiful, so kind,
the greatest treasure a man could ever find.
I'm so glad your mine
my darling lady.

I was feeling used,
lost and confused.
Then you came to me,
and showed just how love should be.
Now just the sound of your voice
leaves me no choice.
Except to love you completely,
adore you deeply
My darling lady.

I love you madly, deeply
with all of my heart completely.
You are so beautiful, so kind
the greatest treasure a man could ever find.
I'm so glad your mine
my darling lady.

You are the sunlight,
the moonlight,
the one i have searched for my whole life.
I'm so glad your mine
my darling lady.

I love you madly, deeply
with all of my heart completely.
You are so beautiful, so kind
the greatest treasure a man could ever find.
I'm so glad your mine
my darling lady

You are my darling lady.


Yeahhhh.. I am reading back over that and it sounds like crap. Like i said i suck at writting (oh and spelling, lol), but do you think she would like it? I get her flowers almost everyday and I thought this was so much more intimate than just flowers. Or should I go ahead and sing the song from our wedding? I have it memorized.... Will not hurt my feelings whatever you think, just please give your honest opinion on what i should do.
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Replies

  • FORKDOWN
    FORKDOWN Posts: 1,754
    Wether it is corny or not, you are about to receive 10,000 freind requests (all women).
  • amicklin
    amicklin Posts: 452
    You writing is very heartfelt and honest. THAT is the best way to write. She will hear and see that you are writing from your heart and that is what will sweep her off her feet!

    I think you did a wonderful job. You should be pleased! :-)
  • rjadams
    rjadams Posts: 4,029 Member
    Most women love corny if it is heart felt. If you mean the words then she should love it. My husband isn't that romantic but whenever he tries I really love it. :happy:
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
    Anything that comes from your heart is awesome.

    My heart melts if my bf even acknowledges my presence. :laugh:
    And if he does the dishes or takes out the trash without being asked, there's gonna be a love fest.
    Yes, I know. We're horribly romantic.

    Anyway, yes, sing her the song you wrote. :smile:
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    I love it! very honest and genuine and captures the love you two have for each other.

    My only suggestion in alternate the chorus every two verses rather than every other verse. unless thats like a rule u can't break in song writing which I myself have no idea about.

    you are so sweet, she will love it!
  • FabiolaEnvy♥
    FabiolaEnvy♥ Posts: 730
    dude that was totally awesome <3
    its not corny at all :)
    its expresses on how you feel and how much you love her
    she gonna find it the most romantic thing ever.

    stick with it.
    and you said you arent a poet or anything like that
    but booooooiii you got skills
  • mvl1014
    mvl1014 Posts: 531
    Wether it is corny or not, you are about to receive 10,000 freind requests (all women).

    lol! rofl02.gif
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    I think it's beautiful and your wife will love it! Your wife is a lucky woman to have a husband who not only feels that way - but is willing to express it!
  • savvystephy
    savvystephy Posts: 4,151 Member
    You are so awesome, Ed! :)
  • McFatterton
    McFatterton Posts: 1,358 Member
    That just brought tears to my eyes. Sing it. Definitely sing it. :smile:
  • ka_42
    ka_42 Posts: 720 Member
    Wether it is corny or not, you are about to receive 10,000 freind requests (all women).

    HAHAhahahaha! It is pretty sweet, but I don't feel the need to send a friend request based on that!
  • guidosgal
    guidosgal Posts: 581 Member
    Your Wife is going to LOVE it :heart: Its better than any store bought gift you could have ever gotten (((APPLAUSE))))
  • aymetcalf
    aymetcalf Posts: 597 Member
    Love it! She will too! :flowerforyou:
  • drvvork
    drvvork Posts: 1,162
    You writing is very heartfelt and honest. THAT is the best way to write. She will hear and see that you are writing from your heart and that is what will sweep her off her feet!

    I think you did a wonderful job. You should be pleased! :-)

    ... Exactly...
  • FORKDOWN
    FORKDOWN Posts: 1,754
    Wether it is corny or not, you are about to receive 10,000 freind requests (all women).

    BTW it was not corny at all. Your gonna sweep her off her feet.
    :smokin:
  • jcarey101
    jcarey101 Posts: 31
    not corny at all. I hope your wife appreciates everything you do.

    Jen
    PS......when can you come teach my husband that song? LOL!!!
  • kalmf
    kalmf Posts: 351 Member
    The complete opposite of corny, - beautiful and romantic. What a wonderful thing to do for your wife.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    It doesn't matter if it's corny or not. If it came from the heart, your wife will LOVE it. :)
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Are you kidding me!!! That almost made me cry because it's so beautiful. Yes you should definitely sing it to your wife. What a lucky, lucky lady she is!
  • mbalford
    mbalford Posts: 34 Member
    It was absolutely beautiful! Not at all corny. She's gonna love it.:happy:
  • confuseacat
    confuseacat Posts: 137 Member
    Your wife is blessed to have you for a husband. So Sweet! She will love it~
  • MTGirl
    MTGirl Posts: 1,490 Member
    As much as I love the song "I Do" - great song!, I say sing yours. That is awesome. smiley-love034.gif
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
    It's wonderful! I am so jealous of your wife! Or any woman whose man does things like that....
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
    She loved the song :-) It made her cry. I sang it to her while our son "played" the guitar. :-) Tell me there is a more blessed man in the world than me.
  • rosalie_g
    rosalie_g Posts: 71
    You are something else Ed! :wink: That was not corny at all! Your wife is one very blessed lady. Glad she enjoyed it. It was beautiful.
  • bethinagain
    bethinagain Posts: 282 Member
    Your wife is a very lucky woman!
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    *wipes a tear from my eye* so romantic. :heart:
  • shaggys
    shaggys Posts: 140 Member
    That WAS corny!
    Just kiddin' :love:
    Knight Of God,now available for Bar Mitzvahs and weddings,BOOK NOW!
  • Vallandingham
    Vallandingham Posts: 2,177
    Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it. Your wife will love it. I have written sever stories over th last 20 years, many of them erotic. My wife still has every on of them in a drawer in our bedroom. She likes to read them to me occassionally. GIDDYUP!!
  • PanicAtTheBuffet
    PanicAtTheBuffet Posts: 374
    When I read it, I imagined Barry White singing it and I'm kind of turned-on now. :blushing:
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