Genuinely stuck and need solid advice, please.

13

Replies

  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
    I would relax. Don't restrict the types of foods you are eating. Thats just stupid and will bite u in the butt later. Only weigh yourself 1x a week, and expect that if you are exercising and new to it (especially strength training), you will be holding extra weight from that!
    Just stay within your calorie goal for the day. If you told MFP you want to lost 1.5-2ibs a week (which I assume you did because you're in a hurry), then make sure to eat back your exercise calories, because MFP already built in that deficit for you.
  • ubermensch13
    ubermensch13 Posts: 824 Member
    So please take the foloowing coaching as a critical look at what you've written and what you have actually done.

    You are not "stuck" in the physical sense. Maybe psychologically you are "stuck" to a certain point of view and that is going to be very hard to give up unless you give yourself permission to give up those views.

    The problem is two part. There is what you are doing (physically and eating) and then there is what you are saying to yourself in your own monologue. You are treating that monologue as "THE TRUTH." And part of that comes from your practice and membership in the Church of "I don't wanna, you can't make me."

    Here is what you described.

    You did some stuff over a couple of days. You cut out eating some stuff (over a couple of days). You got on the scale after that couple of days and the number that came up was the same as before.

    THAT IS ALL THAT HAPPENED.

    Now, there is what you've said about it (and then justifed why you said what you did). None of that is THE TRUTH! All that stuff about expecting weight loss to occur fairly rapidly and then saying that you are "stuck" as a result of seeing a set of numbers after only a few days....well that is just stuff you tell yourself (and others) to seem 'reasonable' and yo justify your reasons. You get something from doing that, otherwise you wouldn't do that. You have to be willing to give that up and replace it with something that matches with reality.

    Just look at how you described your own self-sabotage ( you justified it as well).

    Okay, now it is time to pick yourself back up.

    If you've come this far without becoming furious at my reply, let me tell you there is some good news.

    You could have done all of what you described in complete silence and the only one who would have known was you. And while you might be looking for validation of the "old you" (and that self-view will not go away without a fight because you have trained yourself and everyone around you to see yourself in a certain way), let's take at face value that you are looking for a new paradigm.

    Solid advice?

    As others have pointed out: fruits and vegetables.

    Really. it is more about balancing the elements of food intake rather than entirely eliminating whole classes of nutrients (unless your medical situation demands it). There are certain things you don't need even though you feel like you do. You don't need sugary drinks, for example, with their high-fructose corn syrup (there was a time when sugary drinks were sweetened by sucrose). It is easy to rearrange foods (and then complain about it). That is why we do that first. But it can also be like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic after it hit the iceberg.

    Realize this...your body is in a dynamic equilibrium. Your weight is a reflection of this.

    I have become a big advocate of focusing on one thing at a time to start. Rather than "starving yourself" I advocate starting with an then gradually increasing physical activity. Set some minimum level (above whatever level got you to where you are today) and do it...everyday. And if you miss a day, don't "double up" just get back to it the next day and keep going.

    Take a complete set of measuremenets, record them and check them once per month. For those months where you've been doing what you set out to do and there hasn't been scale movement, there might be inch movement. I spent an entire year at 190 pounds after dropping from 248 to 214, gaining back to 232 and then down to that 190 plateau. But I was losing the "bubble wrap."

    Finally, it probably took you a while to get to your weight. Yes, you could set out to lose it relatively quickly, but honestly, slower may be better in the long-run. It took me a long time to admit I had gotten fat and way outside of my idealized view of myself. I was equally surprised how long it took for me to realize that i was actually returning to my idealized view of myself.

    A mind can be a terrible thing.


    THIS!! 5 days is not nearly enough to be either physically OR mentally stuck! If you are mentally stuck, you need to figure out how to push beyond that unreasonable and unrealistic view of weight loss. Only once you understand this is a lifelong thing, not a quick fix and will take real time to see results with real work, will you get beyond it mentally.
  • millicent108
    millicent108 Posts: 8 Member
    Hi again, another one thing my nutrionist says is choosing the right kind of cereal; most have too high a 'sugar' content. She believes in Bran flakes, oatmeals. Be cautious of the amount that you use (usually only 1/2 cup servings). I like to put my berries (1/2 cup serving in a bowel, add the yogurt, then top with one or two table spoons of Bran Buds...yummy.)
    Make sure that you save HALF of your dinner plate for the veggies. Another thing to do is make a nice mixture of leafy greens and have that first to start to make your tummy full before you eat the rest of a meal. Getting salad green, etc. together is time consumming, I clean a bunch of different greens(Ilove including some Kale, very, very high in nutrients) wrap them in a very clean white tea towel and stuff it into a plastic bag and refridgerate it. It lasts for days and it is always ready to go. Or I simply buy the ready mixes too. I buy all my yogurts and cottage cheese in the smallest containers, but if each is about 100 grams then that is a serving and it is easy to go and not go 'over' on calories from that. A little more expensive, but hey, what is more important your 'health' or a few dollars. I like to keep lots of these on hand, my favorite are Danone Oikois (lime). I try to avoid 'fruit' bottom ones, as I always prefer to have a small container of fresh raspberries or blueberries on hand to add to my yogurts. If you don't like plain yogurt ones, try vanilla. Buy your self a food scale to measure ... if you aren't doing so...it really is a bonus when you are using fitness pal.
  • SMJ1987
    SMJ1987 Posts: 368

    Well yesterday morning I decided to pop on the scales and see how I was doing, and figured that with 80lbs to lose it should come off fairly quickly.. I hadn't lost anything. Not even a fraction of a pound and actually felt more bloated and heavy.

    3 days is a very short amount of time to judge how well your plan is working. I personally eat more than 1200 calories now but when I was bigger and lost the majority of my weight (around 35-40 lbs) I did eat that much 6 days a week and then one cheat meal on the weekends...but I wasn't exercising.

    My advice is to stick to the calorie goal you are at now and don't weigh yourself for about 2 weeks. I assume you've been at your current size for awhile now? Well even if you do stay the same what is 2 more weeks in the grand scheme of things? If you stay the same (which I doubt you will, assuming you are logging accurately) then I would try to up the cals a bit.

    There is a good chance that you have dropped a lb or 2 since you started but are carrying water weight from the 30 DS. Sometimes I will have a perfect week and will hop on the scale and be up. It often coincides with an increase in strength training and water retention in my muscles.

    You can do this, don't give up so easily! :flowerforyou:
  • vmekash
    vmekash Posts: 422 Member
    Just two things, in my opinion, and that's w/o looking at your diary.
    1. Give it more time before you check the scale. Esp. if checking and seeing nothing (or even a gain) is enough to discourage you.
    2. Keep it simple, at least in the beginning. Don't worry about whether you're munching on a chocolate bar vs. a carrot stick. Just do calories in/calories out. Make sure you're netting at least 1200 cal., because you simply should not net less than that. Always come close to your dially calorie goal. A little over or a little under, doesn't matter much, so don't sweat it.

    I believe, and in my case I know, that making major changes all at once leads to failure. You can always add to your workout routine once you're used to having one. You can always eat better/healthier, once you're used to tracking and maintaining your calories. Just do as much as you KNOW you can handle each day. Then do as much as you KNOW you can handle each week.

    Most of all, be patient. If you only lose a fraction of a pound in a week, and only another fraction of a pound in another week, eventually you will lose an entire pound. Each loss WILL add up. Then, you'll be surprised that it is not that hard to do, and that as long as it takes, does not seem all that long.

    Good luck.
  • Lot's of good advice so far, but I would add one more idea. 80 pounds is a substantial amount to lose, and if that is your goal it may seem impossible, especially when you see little improvement after making what seems like a significant effort., a major change in eating and exercise habits I would suggest you set a more modest goal, like an average of one pound per week, not one pound per week but an average. That is, aim for a four pound loss in a month. Stick to your goals and don't get on the scale until the month is up. If you haven't lost 4 or more, I'll bet you have lost 2-3, which is progress. And no matter what the scale says, I'll bet you will feel better physically and about yourself. Then another four pounds in another month, then another, then another. Note that it will take a long time -- 80 pounds in 80 weeks, or about twenty months. If you quit after three days, you may have the desire, but not the commitment. This goal will take the better part of two years, but will be very much worth it! Patience, persistence, and hopefully with the complete support of friends and family.
  • it takes time to lose weight have PATIENCE!

    totally agree its very hard to have the Patience. It took a long time to gain that 80 lbs and its going to take just as much time if not more to lose it... little steps at a time. Hang in there. add me if you would like its a process...

    It's only taken 10 months to gain the 80lbs :(

    I was 9st 7lbs back in November last year & for a long time was very slim, even after gaining 5 stone through pregnancy I managed to drop all the baby weight within 4 months and was back to my slender self. I guess I'm not used to being a "bigger" person and being heavy, which is why it's messing with my mind so much.
  • So please take the foloowing coaching as a critical look at what you've written and what you have actually done.

    You are not "stuck" in the physical sense. Maybe psychologically you are "stuck" to a certain point of view and that is going to be very hard to give up unless you give yourself permission to give up those views.

    The problem is two part. There is what you are doing (physically and eating) and then there is what you are saying to yourself in your own monologue. You are treating that monologue as "THE TRUTH." And part of that comes from your practice and membership in the Church of "I don't wanna, you can't make me."

    Here is what you described.

    You did some stuff over a couple of days. You cut out eating some stuff (over a couple of days). You got on the scale after that couple of days and the number that came up was the same as before.

    THAT IS ALL THAT HAPPENED.

    Now, there is what you've said about it (and then justifed why you said what you did). None of that is THE TRUTH! All that stuff about expecting weight loss to occur fairly rapidly and then saying that you are "stuck" as a result of seeing a set of numbers after only a few days....well that is just stuff you tell yourself (and others) to seem 'reasonable' and yo justify your reasons. You get something from doing that, otherwise you wouldn't do that. You have to be willing to give that up and replace it with something that matches with reality.

    Just look at how you described your own self-sabotage ( you justified it as well).

    Okay, now it is time to pick yourself back up.

    If you've come this far without becoming furious at my reply, let me tell you there is some good news.

    You could have done all of what you described in complete silence and the only one who would have known was you. And while you might be looking for validation of the "old you" (and that self-view will not go away without a fight because you have trained yourself and everyone around you to see yourself in a certain way), let's take at face value that you are looking for a new paradigm.

    Solid advice?

    As others have pointed out: fruits and vegetables.

    Really. it is more about balancing the elements of food intake rather than entirely eliminating whole classes of nutrients (unless your medical situation demands it). There are certain things you don't need even though you feel like you do. You don't need sugary drinks, for example, with their high-fructose corn syrup (there was a time when sugary drinks were sweetened by sucrose). It is easy to rearrange foods (and then complain about it). That is why we do that first. But it can also be like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic after it hit the iceberg.

    Realize this...your body is in a dynamic equilibrium. Your weight is a reflection of this.

    I have become a big advocate of focusing on one thing at a time to start. Rather than "starving yourself" I advocate starting with an then gradually increasing physical activity. Set some minimum level (above whatever level got you to where you are today) and do it...everyday. And if you miss a day, don't "double up" just get back to it the next day and keep going.

    Take a complete set of measuremenets, record them and check them once per month. For those months where you've been doing what you set out to do and there hasn't been scale movement, there might be inch movement. I spent an entire year at 190 pounds after dropping from 248 to 214, gaining back to 232 and then down to that 190 plateau. But I was losing the "bubble wrap."

    Finally, it probably took you a while to get to your weight. Yes, you could set out to lose it relatively quickly, but honestly, slower may be better in the long-run. It took me a long time to admit I had gotten fat and way outside of my idealized view of myself. I was equally surprised how long it took for me to realize that i was actually returning to my idealized view of myself.

    A mind can be a terrible thing.


    THIS!! 5 days is not nearly enough to be either physically OR mentally stuck! If you are mentally stuck, you need to figure out how to push beyond that unreasonable and unrealistic view of weight loss. Only once you understand this is a lifelong thing, not a quick fix and will take real time to see results with real work, will you get beyond it mentally.

    Thats where you are getting mistaken.. it hasn't been 5 days, it's actually been 10 months! I have always been a slim 133lbs, and only gained this extra 80lbs these past 10 months.

    Along the way I've tried getting back on the diet & fitness wagon SEVERAL times but for some reason I just can't seem to stick with anything or be successful.. which isn't like me as I've always been an avid gym goer & ate well. So that's why I'm mentally stuck, because I don't understand why this sudden change in me occurred & why I allowed myself to gain 80lbs in 10 months, & why I'm struggling to lose it.

  • Well yesterday morning I decided to pop on the scales and see how I was doing, and figured that with 80lbs to lose it should come off fairly quickly.. I hadn't lost anything. Not even a fraction of a pound and actually felt more bloated and heavy.

    3 days is a very short amount of time to judge how well your plan is working. I personally eat more than 1200 calories now but when I was bigger and lost the majority of my weight (around 35-40 lbs) I did eat that much 6 days a week and then one cheat meal on the weekends...but I wasn't exercising.

    My advice is to stick to the calorie goal you are at now and don't weigh yourself for about 2 weeks. I assume you've been at your current size for awhile now? Well even if you do stay the same what is 2 more weeks in the grand scheme of things? If you stay the same (which I doubt you will, assuming you are logging accurately) then I would try to up the cals a bit.

    There is a good chance that you have dropped a lb or 2 since you started but are carrying water weight from the 30 DS. Sometimes I will have a perfect week and will hop on the scale and be up. It often coincides with an increase in strength training and water retention in my muscles.

    You can do this, don't give up so easily! :flowerforyou:

    Thank you for being friendly :) and thanks for your advice!
  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
    see subsequent post, wouldn't let me delete.
  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
    Thats where you are getting mistaken.. it hasn't been 5 days, it's actually been 10 months! I have always been a slim 133lbs, and only gained this extra 80lbs these past 10 months.

    Along the way I've tried getting back on the diet & fitness wagon SEVERAL times but for some reason I just can't seem to stick with anything or be successful.. which isn't like me as I've always been an avid gym goer & ate well. So that's why I'm mentally stuck, because I don't understand why this sudden change in me occurred & why I allowed myself to gain 80lbs in 10 months, & why I'm struggling to lose it.

    Ah, I didn't understand that part. I can certainly relate to this. Whenever I find myself slipping away from my efforts it can seem like forever before I get back to it. I find often I have to try and fail and try and fail a number of times. The important part is the trying. Eventually it sticks and I'm back at it. Logging my food has really helped, and logging it the day before has helped more than anything.

    I have quoted this before, but I have a friend who says that this kind of big change is like hitting a stone with a hammer - sometimes you have to hit it 100 times before it breaks apart. You think nothing is happening, but every one of those 100 bashes weakens it a little.

    Keep bashing, you'll get there. One thing is for sure, you won't get there without trying.
    [/quote]
  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
    Also, this quote by George Bernard Shaw:

    "Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."

    So change your thinking, and everything will follow.
  • cedarghost
    cedarghost Posts: 621 Member
    Why did you say "GENUINELY stuck?" Did you do a search on the forums for the word STUCK and read any other people's posts. How would you differentiate between genuinely stuck and not really stuck?
    My suggestion, use the search feature and read. You are not the only person who thinks they are not losing weight quick enough. It took you longer than three days to put on the 80 pounds and it sure as hell is going to take a good while to take it off. So be prepared to commit, read, learn and stick to it.
    You need to make a lifestyle change, not go on a "diet". So make sure the changes you make are changes you can live with. If you feel that you can't live without a certain food, then don't! Just make it fit in your calorie goals (which by the way, is the first thing you have to get right).
    Someone linked you the "In Place of a Road Map" post.
    Read it and do it. Realize that once you get in to this change and commit to it, there will be times the scale wont move forever. Learn to use other ways to measure progress, like inches lost, body fat lost, strength gains, etc. And there are posts about all of this stuff on these forums, so learn to use the search feature. It will save you a lot of time and frustration.
    Good luck.
  • beattie1
    beattie1 Posts: 1,012 Member
    where is the fruit and veg on that list?!

    She's got squash and mixed veggies on there.

    That "squash" is a fruit flavoured drink, not a vegetable
  • STrooper
    STrooper Posts: 659 Member

    Thats where you are getting mistaken.. it hasn't been 5 days, it's actually been 10 months! I have always been a slim 133lbs, and only gained this extra 80lbs these past 10 months.

    Along the way I've tried getting back on the diet & fitness wagon SEVERAL times but for some reason I just can't seem to stick with anything or be successful.. which isn't like me as I've always been an avid gym goer & ate well. So that's why I'm mentally stuck, because I don't understand why this sudden change in me occurred & why I allowed myself to gain 80lbs in 10 months, & why I'm struggling to lose it.

    Well, now I really am confused.

    Are you now saying you've been 'trying' to lose weight for 10 months? And are you saying that all you've accomplished is an 80 pound gain in 10 months?

    Do you understand that you have not been very clear about what is going on? And it suggest that something else (medically) is going on. Looking for a diet in the absence of a medical evaluation with something this dramatic is well beyond anything that anyone can offer you here.

    Pardon my bluntness, but youneed to seek some medical advice.

    If this were all fat (3500 calories per pound) it means that your intake exceeds your expenditure (80 x 3500 = 280,000 calores, or 28,000 calories per month). That is an excess of nearly 1,000 calories per da over the 10 month period.

    I've seen prednisone cause this type of increase in addition to some types of blood infections. But there are other symptoms to address and you don't mention those.

  • Thats where you are getting mistaken.. it hasn't been 5 days, it's actually been 10 months! I have always been a slim 133lbs, and only gained this extra 80lbs these past 10 months.

    Along the way I've tried getting back on the diet & fitness wagon SEVERAL times but for some reason I just can't seem to stick with anything or be successful.. which isn't like me as I've always been an avid gym goer & ate well. So that's why I'm mentally stuck, because I don't understand why this sudden change in me occurred & why I allowed myself to gain 80lbs in 10 months, & why I'm struggling to lose it.

    Well, now I really am confused.

    Are you now saying you've been 'trying' to lose weight for 10 months? And are you saying that all you've accomplished is an 80 pound gain in 10 months?

    Do you understand that you have not been very clear about what is going on? And it suggest that something else (medically) is going on. Looking for a diet in the absence of a medical evaluation with something this dramatic is well beyond anything that anyone can offer you here.

    Pardon my bluntness, but youneed to seek some medical advice.

    If this were all fat (3500 calories per pound) it means that your intake exceeds your expenditure (80 x 3500 = 280,000 calores, or 28,000 calories per month). That is an excess of nearly 1,000 calories per da over the 10 month period.

    I've seen prednisone cause this type of increase in addition to some types of blood infections. But there are other symptoms to address and you don't mention those.

    I have no medical issues, I had blood tests done not so long ago and came back fine apart from being anaemic & requiring iron which I've had for a while.

    Long story short.. I have always been 9st 7 to 10st in weight, then fell pregnant November 2010 and gained 5 stone with the pregnancy, I gave birth July 2011 & lost all 5 stone within 4 months so by November 2011 I was back to 9st 7lbs.. Now, 12 months on I am 15st 11lbs.

    I have no medical issues or anything else going on apart from the fact that I've just been extremely greedy and ate all the wrong foods in large quantities for the past 10 months. Binge eating I guess..

  • Thats where you are getting mistaken.. it hasn't been 5 days, it's actually been 10 months! I have always been a slim 133lbs, and only gained this extra 80lbs these past 10 months.

    Along the way I've tried getting back on the diet & fitness wagon SEVERAL times but for some reason I just can't seem to stick with anything or be successful.. which isn't like me as I've always been an avid gym goer & ate well. So that's why I'm mentally stuck, because I don't understand why this sudden change in me occurred & why I allowed myself to gain 80lbs in 10 months, & why I'm struggling to lose it.


    Well, now I really am confused.

    Are you now saying you've been 'trying' to lose weight for 10 months? And are you saying that all you've accomplished is an 80 pound gain in 10 months?

    Do you understand that you have not been very clear about what is going on? And it suggest that something else (medically) is going on. Looking for a diet in the absence of a medical evaluation with something this dramatic is well beyond anything that anyone can offer you here.

    Pardon my bluntness, but youneed to seek some medical advice.

    If this were all fat (3500 calories per pound) it means that your intake exceeds your expenditure (80 x 3500 = 280,000 calores, or 28,000 calories per month). That is an excess of nearly 1,000 calories per da over the 10 month period.

    I've seen prednisone cause this type of increase in addition to some types of blood infections. But there are other symptoms to address and you don't mention those.

    And it's highly possible that I've been eating more than 1000 calories over my TDEE everyday. I actually tracked what I ate one day and it totalled at 6000+ calories.
  • STrooper
    STrooper Posts: 659 Member

    And it's highly possible that I've been eating more than 1000 calories over my TDEE everyday. I actually tracked what I ate one day and it totalled at 6000+ calories.

    So, the truth slowly gets revealed but it has been like peeling an onion to get this from you.

    It is not only "possible" that you've been eating nearly 1,000 calories per day more than you need...it is an absolute requirement. From purely a weight and time perspective you have, on average, taken in 28,000 calories per month more than you need. That is basic physics.

    If you aren't producing the results you seek there are two basic reasons for that:

    1) You are not doing anything, or

    2) You are doing the wrong thing.

    Choose.. those are your only two choices. Remember, you were the one who ruled out medical conditions (I will get back to that in a moment because I disagree with you on this point). MFP makes a suggestion of calorie intake and general nutritional guidance on carbs, protein, fiber, and fat based upon what you've input into the program in terms of your current weight, your life characteristics, and your goals. It is a technology, nothing more. It does not "require your action.

    And you have completely blown it off.

    You've used a rather simplistic jargon to explain this: you are "stuck." I have asserted otherwise. So, back to the medical.



    You are self-medicating. And foods are your medication of choice.

    I am going to hypothesize that you are depressed in a very real and clinical sense. And it may fit into the gernal classification of post-partum depression. Although I know nothing of your personal life, lets hypothesize a couple of things...your home situation is not meeting the expectation of the way family, parenting (in general) and motherhood (in specific) "should be" turning out. There are stressors (time, money, inter-personal relationships, and being accountable for the well-being of a child) and then how you respond to them.

    Remember what i said about your church: the church of "I don't wanna, you can't make me"? Well, there it is. You can self-medicate with food to deal with the stressors (depression). It has you feel better, at least for a while until you need your next fix, but it something you can apply the illusion of "control,"

    Depression can manifest itself in this way and can be a response to other triggers in our lives. The fact that you were pregnant and gave birth (and returned to your pre-pregnancy weight prior to putting it back on) does not mean that your hormones are "back to normal" and not "out of whack." A "blood test" may not reveal this unless you have a complete pannel of before and after values to compare looking for just these markers. For example, a T4 value can be meaningless unless it is so low that it is way outside the norm. But a pre-versus post pregnancy comparison might reveal a metabolism issue which you can deal with.

    This looks a lot like post partum depression.

  • And it's highly possible that I've been eating more than 1000 calories over my TDEE everyday. I actually tracked what I ate one day and it totalled at 6000+ calories.

    So, the truth slowly gets revealed but it has been like peeling an onion to get this from you.

    It is not only "possible" that you've been eating nearly 1,000 calories per day more than you need...it is an absolute requirement. From purely a weight and time perspective you have, on average, taken in 28,000 calories per month more than you need. That is basic physics.

    If you aren't producing the results you seek there are two basic reasons for that:

    1) You are not doing anything, or

    2) You are doing the wrong thing.

    Choose.. those are your only two choices. Remember, you were the one who ruled out medical conditions (I will get back to that in a moment because I disagree with you on this point). MFP makes a suggestion of calorie intake and general nutritional guidance on carbs, protein, fiber, and fat based upon what you've input into the program in terms of your current weight, your life characteristics, and your goals. It is a technology, nothing more. It does not "require your action.

    And you have completely blown it off.

    You've used a rather simplistic jargon to explain this: you are "stuck." I have asserted otherwise. So, back to the medical.



    You are self-medicating. And foods are your medication of choice.

    I am going to hypothesize that you are depressed in a very real and clinical sense. And it may fit into the gernal classification of post-partum depression. Although I know nothing of your personal life, lets hypothesize a couple of things...your home situation is not meeting the expectation of the way family, parenting (in general) and motherhood (in specific) "should be" turning out. There are stressors (time, money, inter-personal relationships, and being accountable for the well-being of a child) and then how you respond to them.

    Remember what i said about your church: the church of "I don't wanna, you can't make me"? Well, there it is. You can self-medicate with food to deal with the stressors (depression). It has you feel better, at least for a while until you need your next fix, but it something you can apply the illusion of "control,"

    Depression can manifest itself in this way and can be a response to other triggers in our lives. The fact that you were pregnant and gave birth (and returned to your pre-pregnancy weight prior to putting it back on) does not mean that your hormones are "back to normal" and not "out of whack." A "blood test" may not reveal this unless you have a complete pannel of before and after values to compare looking for just these markers. For example, a T4 value can be meaningless unless it is so low that it is way outside the norm. But a pre-versus post pregnancy comparison might reveal a metabolism issue which you can deal with.

    This looks a lot like post partum depression.

    Excuse me, but 1. I did state originally that I'd gained 80lbs through basically being a pig and eating all the wrong food in large quantities. I did not once suggest that I was unaware how I'd gained weight?

    2. I haven't denied that I've been overeating the past 10 months in order for me to gain this weight, so please do not patronise me.

    3. Don't comment on my parenting! I am a loving mother who has never had any signs of post partum depression, and I also work full time in a very well paid job so do not have money issues, so do not judge where you are not knowledgeable!

    4. I have had depression and social anxiety disorder for years, and for many years have been on sertraline antidepressants to combat this. I have blood tests done REGULARLY for my anaemia, the last blood tests done only 3 weeks ago, and I have NO OTHER blood issues - do not make me repeat myself, again.

    I come to this site for advice regarding diet and exercise, not for some stranger to try and 'diagnose' me with some jargon and be patronising at the same time. I have lost weight previously and am more than aware of the knowledge concerning calories, macronutrients and exercise.

    You, are very judgemental. And if you cannot be constructive with your 'advice', then I question why you bother?
  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
    Lozzieemay, I don't know STrooper but I expect he is trying to be helpful in the best way he can.

    I was interested to read you have been on antidepressants. When I went on them a number of years ago I gained 70 lbs. I don't know the chemistry of it, but I do know they made me hungry, and they made my body cling to weight like it was a barnacle on the bottom of a ship. This might be part of what is happening for you. Hormonal changes caused by pregnancy (and menopause) can also change the way our bodies metabolize food. Neither of these things would necessarily show up on a blood test.

    I hope you get it sorted out. I know how bad it feels to face that kind of weight gain, and to have the secret feeling that it will never, ever stop.
  • buffykaz
    buffykaz Posts: 50 Member
    I don't like fruit or vegetables, not for lack of trying either as I've force fed myself them previously but just can't seem to get myself to like them.

    Is there any way you can hide some vegies in your food? I make bolognaise sauce with grated carrot & zucchini in it, and quiche with grated zucchini too. You can't even taste them in there.

    Make sure you weigh/measure all your food before eating it. You might guess that a potato only weighs 100 grams, but then be quite shocked when you put it on a scale and it is actually 150 grams. Many people are caught out by this and think they are eating under their calorie limit when they really aren't.

    If you are not a gym person, then do whatever you can to get some form of exercise during the day. A 30 minute walk, or a bout of vigorous house cleaning is brilliant. I now see vacuuming as a chance to exercise rather than a chore :laugh: It all adds up.

    If you've only been at this for a few days, don't stress to much. Weigh yourself at the same time each week and this will give you a better idea of how you are going.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    I have not taken the time to read al 4 pages of replies, but I did look at your diary.

    You are taking time to log foods but not all the time?

    You are doing so well, in asking for advice and beginning to get into the habit of logging your food, my advice try to keep it up, until you get into it all 100% then you will struggle.

    Maybe try to plan your day the night before and then go with it?
  • My goal in the beginning was to lose 77lb and I'm now 71lb down with just 6lb to go! I started mid-July 2011....

    It's not so much about what you eat, but when and how much. Try to look at your macros (calories limit, protein/carbs/fats/sugar intake) and go from there. I personally aim to eat 2-3 times my protein level, 1/3 of my carbs, all of my fats, no more than my sugar recommendation, and I aim for around 1200 calories per day (net).

    I'm 5'7 and 29yo going from 213lbs to the current 142lbs that I am, so I know that it works for me.

    I'm a full time office worker, so I found the weight creeping up from my lazy days (not exercising) and reaching for my junk drawer full of chips, crackers, biscuits etc throughout the day). I now eat reasonably cleanly and drink 8-14 glasses of water per day minimum. I started a facebook page in September to show others what I've done and I use MFP religiously, so if I can be of any assistance just ask :) If you're interested in checking it out at www.facebook.com/beingthisgirl

    You can do it! Don't be disheartened by not having a loss on the scales in just a week. Make sure you take "before" photos (you will LOVE to look at them later) and take your measurements, so that you have something to compare to when the scales don't move. I've learned so much this past 18 months and a "NSV" (non scale victory) can be just as important as the reading on your scales.
  • OP quote

    "And it's highly possible that I've been eating more than 1000 calories over my TDEE everyday. I actually tracked what I ate one day and it totalled at 6000+ calories."


    Anyone going to gain weight like that unless doing a heck of a lot of exercise. Give yourself another week (or two) before worrying about it. Look forward to an update.
  • Lozzieemay, I don't know STrooper but I expect he is trying to be helpful in the best way he can.

    I was interested to read you have been on antidepressants. When I went on them a number of years ago I gained 70 lbs. I don't know the chemistry of it, but I do know they made me hungry, and they made my body cling to weight like it was a barnacle on the bottom of a ship. This might be part of what is happening for you. Hormonal changes caused by pregnancy (and menopause) can also change the way our bodies metabolize food. Neither of these things would necessarily show up on a blood test.

    I hope you get it sorted out. I know how bad it feels to face that kind of weight gain, and to have the secret feeling that it will never, ever stop.

    I was on anti-deps for 2yrs and I gained 32kg (70lbs) in less than 12 months by doing NOTHING different in my diet/routine other than the fact that I was now taking meds. Once I stopped, I lost the weight.... it didn't matter how much exercise/diet I did during that 2yrs, nothing else would work. I think medication is important to take if you need it for your mental health, but I won't lie - it's likely to be a major contributor to weight gain (along with a high cal diet if that is another issue that you face) and it can sometimes be a battle that you have to cope with until you're in a position to no longer need the meds. Talk to your Doctor about the weight gain and see if you can find an alternative brand to maybe lessen the gain side effects?

    I'm a professional, just someone who has "been there" and it took me a long time to understand and therefore stop beating myself up for gaining weight.

    Good luck!
  • Lozzieemay, I don't know STrooper but I expect he is trying to be helpful in the best way he can.

    I was interested to read you have been on antidepressants. When I went on them a number of years ago I gained 70 lbs. I don't know the chemistry of it, but I do know they made me hungry, and they made my body cling to weight like it was a barnacle on the bottom of a ship. This might be part of what is happening for you. Hormonal changes caused by pregnancy (and menopause) can also change the way our bodies metabolize food. Neither of these things would necessarily show up on a blood test.

    I hope you get it sorted out. I know how bad it feels to face that kind of weight gain, and to have the secret feeling that it will never, ever stop.

    I was on anti-deps for 2yrs and I gained 32kg (70lbs) in less than 12 months by doing NOTHING different in my diet/routine other than the fact that I was now taking meds. Once I stopped, I lost the weight.... it didn't matter how much exercise/diet I did during that 2yrs, nothing else would work. I think medication is important to take if you need it for your mental health, but I won't lie - it's likely to be a major contributor to weight gain (along with a high cal diet if that is another issue that you face) and it can sometimes be a battle that you have to cope with until you're in a position to no longer need the meds. Talk to your Doctor about the weight gain and see if you can find an alternative brand to maybe lessen the gain side effects?

    I'm a professional, just someone who has "been there" and it took me a long time to understand and therefore stop beating myself up for gaining weight.

    Good luck!

    Sorry! That was meant to say I'm NOT a professional.
  • Kem42
    Kem42 Posts: 3
    Right there with you! I also get frustrated when i don't see instant results. I about had a fit when after the first week I had gained a pound! Some one gave me some good advice. Stick to it and don't weigh yourself for the first month. It takes awhile for you metabolism to get started and you body to adjust to the new regime. Just don't give up! and don't deprive yourself of every food you enjoy. If you're completely miserable with what you're eating, you won't stick with it. Find yummy alternatives! They might not be the most nutritional thing ever, but it would be better then the pack of oreos.
  • STrooper
    STrooper Posts: 659 Member
    I am going to answer you (in part) in reverse order of how you posted.
    You, are very judgemental.
    Unless, of course, I'm not. I am amused by your opinion.

    I am not surprised by your opion, however.It does not surprise me that you would think this of me, given some of you other responses to me and to others. It is just your way of justifying yourself and making me "wrong" so you can feel "right" as if by calling me judgemental you could somehow offend me and "hurt my feelings." Has that worked for you before particularly when you were gaining weight and others beside yourself noticed? How did that work out for you?

    And as I will point out down below, you were the one whom chose to call herself "a pig." So, which one of us is the judemntal one and using judgemental language?
    And if you cannot be constructive with your 'advice', then I question why you bother?
    A fair question. I bother because I've been down a tangential path before and because I have produced a result consistent with the weight loss range that you are looking for. I bother because langauge gives us everything about our experience in and of the world and by challenging your view of being stuck, etc. it reveals to me (and to others) what you may be up to and may be capable of. Look at how long it has taken you to be honest about being treated for depression and social anxiety. Do you see the responses of some that say it plays/played a role in weight gain. I bother because what I might recommend may not work for you when my sense of things says that something does not quite add up.

    Want constructive advice: eat less, exercise more.

    Want more specifics:

    Limit your calorie intake to no more than 2200 calories per day (no matter what).
    Eat two cups of fruit and three cups of vegetables everyday, no matter what.
    Eat in the following calorie proportions: protein (15%), fat (30%), and carbohydrates (55%) and maintain that proportion each day.
    Give up sugary drinks and all carbonated drinks.
    Reduce sugar in tea and coffee to no more than 2 teaspons per 12 ources

    On exercise, walk 100 minutes per day at a pace of 115-120 steps per minute. Measure it with a pedometer than is capable of discerning this time at this pace. Do that every single day (it can be broken into three or four chunks thourghout the day), no matter what unless you are confined to a bed or in the hospital. Commit to doing that and recording it over the next 60 days and we'll see where you stand on weight loss after 60 continuous days of doing that.

    And before you give me and everyone reading this 10 reasons why you can't give me one reason why you can, because that is the only one that counts. Time to give up the excuses.

    Want to know why I bother? If you are serious and honest about it, I bother because I know you have to be bankrupt of all your excuses. You know that too, whether you admit it or not.
    I come to this site for advice regarding diet and exercise, not for some stranger to try and 'diagnose' me with some jargon and be patronising at the same time. I have lost weight previously and am more than aware of the knowledge concerning calories, macronutrients and exercise.
    Really? You know this? What I just wrote up above is totally useless to you then. So, there reason you are here asking for constructive advice on getting "unstuck" and losing 80 pounds is what, exactly?....

    Do you not see the absuridty of your words and the internal issues they project for everyone to read?
    Excuse me, but 1. I did state originally that I'd gained 80lbs through basically being a pig and eating all the wrong food in large quantities. I did not once suggest that I was unaware how I'd gained weight?

    2. I haven't denied that I've been overeating the past 10 months in order for me to gain this weight, so please do not patronise me.
    If you read the very first post in this thread, you will barely find any mention of that and its your opening post. Read it carefully. Your words barely even hint at it. And your words were certainly were judgemental in calling yourself a pig in this response. Furthermore, when I calculated the number of calories that were required for that much weight gain you used the following wording that it was "possible." The word "possible" in the face of physical evidence of time and mass means that it is something very different from "possible." If you need it "sugar coated" then say you need it sugar coated and that is the only type of advice you'll accept. Serving it up that way would be "patronizing."

    3. Don't comment on my parenting! I am a loving mother who has never had any signs of post partum depression, and I also work full time in a very well paid job so do not have money issues, so do not judge where you are not knowledgeable!
    Speaking of being judgemental....did you happen to notice where you went with parenting, being a loving mother and post-partum depression? Post partum depression does not automatically mean anything with repect to being a "loving mother" or your parenting capacity. There are lots of other ways it can and often does manifest itself. Let me be clear that I am referring to and largely limiting this to the imbalance in hormones that help create the whole post-partum depression scenario.

    It is pretty evident that I hit a "hot button" for you. That is reinforced by your well-paid job comment.

    Care to comment on your feelings about having a full-time well paid job and not being able to be a full-time mother instead? You don't think I've ever had that conversation before nor had my own conflicts between job and being a parent? Interesting.

    And if you were in the fog of post-partum depression (e.g., the conversation on job/career versus full-time parent), how would you know? I have had far more experience dealing with a person going through post-partum depression than you are capable of imagining. Know how I know that? Because if you had been able to imagine mye expereince you would not have written what you wrote. She was a great parent, too and she would have been the first to tell you that. But it manifested itslef in interesting ways and it wasn't until she was pregnant the second time that she (or I) knew that;s what we had dealt with before AND the ability to diagnose and treat it had become much, much better.
    4. I have had depression and social anxiety disorder for years, and for many years have been on sertraline antidepressants to combat this. I have blood tests done REGULARLY for my anaemia, the last blood tests done only 3 weeks ago, and I have NO OTHER blood issues - do not make me repeat myself, again.
    You know, if I had relied on your type of explanation about blood tests and having no other blood issues, I would be dead today. That's because the blood test would not have shown the malignant tumor until I was nearly dead. A blood test is far different from a medical evaluation, and what I am getting at is what else is going on medically that could figure into whats going on with you.

    Part of me does not buy what you are selling here. For example, you are saying that your cholesteral levels, including HDL and LDL, and triglycerides are exactly in the optimum range even though you are 80 pounds overweight? You have no issues with blood sugar? How about your before and after T4 values (for your thyroid)? The list goes on.

    The whole treatment for depression is another matter. While sertraline, by itself, does not appear to cause weight gain, the fact is that you are using large quantities of food calories for something. And that is part of what anyone with a degree of conscientious intent should be getting at. mayber rather than coming here for advice, you should be seeking true medical advice to examine what you are doing in a holistic way.

    Finally, you can reject everything I say, state that publicly in this forum AND request (also publically so everyone can see that you are actually making that request) that I provide no more comment or input to you on this or any other subject and I will honor that request.

    The choice is yours.
  • I feel like you dont eat enough calories. My calorie limit is about 1,700 a day and I still get results.
  • walkingforward
    walkingforward Posts: 174 Member
    Keep at it.

    Reaching a weight loss goal can be like a financial saving goal ... the body is all one account though, the total sum showing on the scales.

    The scales ! Ah yes, those things. Often out - even digital ones as they still use mechanical weighing principals.

    Secondly, at 22 and female, your body is a very busy machine. Cycles every month (even if you aren't having the TOM's, etc., the hormones still cycle).

    Fluid retention, food needs, responses, etc. change every day according to your bodily needs which cycle daily, monthly, and seasonally.

    Back to the financial analogy - you may need to check on the bank balance over a lengthier period of time. Consider that pay day may be once per fortnight, the bills monthly, groceries weekly, fuel and ad-hoc may be any time.

    So the thing is to go to work every day, pay what you need when you need, be diligent.

    Even financial treats can eat into savings.

    No doubt you are quite smart (quite pretty too !) ... just give yourself a weigh-in once per month (that is hard, but worth it when starting out).

    All the best !