I just keep on gaining

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xoalyssaox
xoalyssaox Posts: 320
in Health and Weight Loss
I keep gaining weight!!!! I have gained 30 pounds in the past 4 months!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON? I all ready needed to lose 30 and now I have to lose 60!!!!!

I am going through a divorce to an abusive man, and I don't know why, but I cannot stop gaining weight. I don't know how to change it. I eat and eat and eat. I wake up every morning with the intention of eating right, but I fail by 10 am and then continue to eat. Why can't I control it? I need to lose 60 pounds now instead of 30. It seems sooooo impossible I don't even want to begin. I hated myself before, and now I hate myself even more. WHAT IS GOING ON!!! I need help

Replies

  • EmilyArndt
    EmilyArndt Posts: 5
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    You DO realize that stress brings on weight gain? Maybe get that under control and then the weight will start coming off. If you have a hard time eating a lot, just make it only healthy food. I eat every 2 or 3 hours (I make it a small healthy meal) and the weight has been coming off. If you are stressing out tho, don't expect the pounds to be shedding off. Also no reason to hate yourself. That doesn't get you anywhere.
  • Emilydmo
    Emilydmo Posts: 101
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    Emotional/Binge eating is a real psychological disorder, so don't beat yourself up too much right now because it is NOT a question of willpower, it is a matter of understanding what triggers your stress eating (in this case it sounds pretty clear.. eek, sounds like a tough situation) and dealing with your stress in another way. It is difficult, but you most certainly are not alone!! If this isn't a common occurrence for you and specific to this messy situation your in, I would say you could probably try self-help remedies like journaling, extra exercise, etc, anything to help deal with stress in a more constructive way! Also, it helps to know that your calories DO NOT reset every night, so it isn't good to have an all-or-nothing attitude about dieting (I really struggle with this!). If you blow it at 10:00 am, get right back on the horse, eat healthy and normally for the rest of the day and don't try and compensate by binging more or starving yourself!

    If this has been a problem for you in the past in other situations I would say maybe to try a self-help book (such as Dr. Fairburns Overcoming Binge Eating or another book (forgot the author) called Shrink Yourself). It might help you get a handle on just what is happening to you!!

    Good luck with everything, that sounds like a messy situation and I hope everything turns out for the best for you in the end! Just know that you are not alone and you can always come to MFP to vent!!
    9
  • lovetodance
    lovetodance Posts: 33
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    It sounds like you are an emotional eater...for sure. The first thing that you have to do is to realize that you are worth it! Sometimes when people get in those types of relationships, their self-esteem suffers and so everything goes awry.
    Just remember that it is a one day at a time type of thing to be able to lose. Don't get down on yourself. Just remember that YOU can lose the weight and the food that you are eating is apparently causing you more grief. It may make you feel better temporarily but in the long run you gain.
    Also, exercise is the key to feeling better. If you aren't exercising, remember to start slow but do SOMETHING each day. Walking is a great and easy exercise.
    Put your arms around yourself and say "I love me" and take care of the only body that God has ever given you. :smile:
    I hope things go better for you. God Bless.
  • smae1980
    smae1980 Posts: 794 Member
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    Please don't give up before you start. Utilize the tools availble here like the food data base and diary. Don't let yourself eat anything you don't want to have to put in your food diary. Use the community here for support. Don't let a terrible experience with a terrible person make you into something you don't want to be. If you try to believe you are stronger than that I truly believe you can be stronger. There are a lot more people who want you to succeed and feel good about yourself than the one who doesn't and since you're divorcing him, he doesn't count anymore anyway. If you mess up one day with the food, just look to the next meal or next day and strive to make it healthier, don't let it make you give up.
  • lt_mrcook
    lt_mrcook Posts: 389 Member
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    If you can, talk to a professional. They will be able to help you unload the stress and emotions, and help you focus on the positives about YOU.
    If you can't do that, then just try to focus on the positives about YOU. Try to keep your focus on yourself, minute to minute so that you can try and notice your emotions as they change. If you can start to anticipate the onslaught, you might be able to get up and walk away from any food or do some quick exercises or anything to try and get away from the temptation and burn off those stress emotions.
    Never forget or doubt for a second that you ARE good, you ARE beautiful, and you CAN do this. God bless you through your struggle and my prayers will be with you. Good luck.
  • CallieM15
    CallieM15 Posts: 910 Member
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    Try joining something like kickboxing. It will allow you to kick the **** out of the exhusband/bags, and relieve stress. Not only that, but will def help you burn calories. Start by working out to relive stress, then move on to weight control, then weight loss.

    He's not worth messing up your health anymore. Do this for YOU. Dont let him win. We are all here for support. We believe in you. Best stress relief for me was kickboxing though. I have a boyfriend that had me against a wall with a knife when we broke up, andafter was so stressed and angry I joined kickboxing. I refused to let myself down and refused to see his selfesteem rise seeing me struggle after the breakup.

    Good luck. You can do it!
    Callie
  • bethinagain
    bethinagain Posts: 282 Member
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    GO AHEAD AND EAT ALL DAY, just make sure that it's fruits and veggies instead of junk food or bad food like pasta or double whoppers. Train your body to eat all day on the right things instead of the wrong things. Even if you pack in over 2,000 calories of fruits and veggies per day it's possible that you will stop gaining and even lose some weight. Good luck and keep your chin up! :happy:
  • xoalyssaox
    xoalyssaox Posts: 320
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    Thanks everyone for your input!!
  • michilynn
    michilynn Posts: 12 Member
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    Emotional/Binge eating is a real psychological disorder, so don't beat yourself up too much right now because it is NOT a question of willpower, it is a matter of understanding what triggers your stress eating (in this case it sounds pretty clear.. eek, sounds like a tough situation) and dealing with your stress in another way. It is difficult, but you most certainly are not alone!! If this isn't a common occurrence for you and specific to this messy situation your in, I would say you could probably try self-help remedies like journaling, extra exercise, etc, anything to help deal with stress in a more constructive way! Also, it helps to know that your calories DO NOT reset every night, so it isn't good to have an all-or-nothing attitude about dieting (I really struggle with this!). If you blow it at 10:00 am, get right back on the horse, eat healthy and normally for the rest of the day and don't try and compensate by binging more or starving yourself!

    If this has been a problem for you in the past in other situations I would say maybe to try a self-help book (such as Dr. Fairburns Overcoming Binge Eating or another book (forgot the author) called Shrink Yourself). It might help you get a handle on just what is happening to you!!

    Good luck with everything, that sounds like a messy situation and I hope everything turns out for the best for you in the end! Just know that you are not alone and you can always come to MFP to vent!!
    9

    i am a stress eater too... When I get upset it takes EVERY ounce of strength I have not to go eat every SWEET thing in sight...

    But, I have learned my triggers and try to avoid them or to make sure sweet things are not accessible to me....
  • kgasser
    kgasser Posts: 333 Member
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    If you were in an abusive relationship you NEED to see a therapist...you need to adress the issues of why you continued in the relationship for as long as you did. He HAS done more than physical damage...the emotional is MUCH deeper...Please go find someone so you can heal physically, emotionally, and weight wise. Until you do, not matter how much you lose, you will probably still not be happy...BEST OF LUCK TO YOU... and here is a {{{{{{{{{{{{big hug}}}}}}}}}}}} for you to get started....now pick up the phone!!!

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