Currently at The Biggest I've ever been

lunajc201 · November 2012

As the title suggests, I'm at a real ugly time in my life.
I recently graduated from a master's program and I'm pretty sure I found the love of my life But along with these achievements comes a lot of pain. For starters, now that I am no longer in school my life feels terribly unstructured. Being unemployed and struggling with the job search only add fuel to the fire. Also I can vouch that there exists a gaining weight dynamic attached to with being in a relationship. It's really hard trying to stay on a diet when I want to make sure I can eat with my girlfriend who works until late. I see the act of eating together as a needed social activity. The stress of this all has led me to my current state, 260 pounds while standing 5'5. (sigh)

Admittedly, I have struggled with my weight the majority of my life. I have always found comfort in eating. It has always suppressed feelings of insecurities, fear, and hate in my life. However, just 3 1/2 years ago I was able to break that barrier and turn my life into a much happier and healthier one. I celebrated my 21st birthday at a cool, happy, sexy, and confident 180 ish pounds. Man oh man I sorely miss those days.

Motivated by my lack of success but hunger (pun intended) for greatness I turn to MFP to bring me back to my lighter days. Days where I not only wore my clothes looser, but more proudly. Days where I not only ran on the treadmill, but ran through life with more ambition. MFP! I need your help to make me happy again. The way I know I can be.

hendinerik · November 2012

Actually the fact that you are in your mid-twenties, and that you have the time to workout could really be a chance to turn things around.

Perhaps you can make a schedule for yourself to spend 9-12 (or whatever) looking for a job, 1-2 exercising, and plan having meals ... I know it's easier said than done but you were able to do it before, I have to believe you can do it now.

I am 40 and have a net loss of about 25 pounds since April and it wasn't because everything was set up right to do so - the doctor told me I needed to make some changes or I would end up with diabetes and I have ongoing reflux which is very bad - so it's all added motivation. I still slip up all the time but just keep moving forward.

Anyway you can do this! Just the fact that you are here reaching out on the MFP forums is a good sign.

Great you have someone in your life you care about! I have to believe you can figure out a way to eat healthy even late at night, or perhaps you make that your only unhealthy meal... if she knows it's important to you then I would think she would understand.

Good luck - you can do this! Just get started - there is no good time to do it - I am the master of excuses so I know this well.

kalghoul · November 2012

I think you have every opportunity to get back to your old fit self! You are young and if you keep your motivation high, you will succeed. If I, a 52 year old, can do it, you can too!

lunajc201 · November 2012

Thank you. The scheduling is a GREAT idea. It never even crossed my mind. I am definitely trying it out.

lunajc201 · November 2012

Absolutely! Your ticker shows that you're doing a great job. :happy:

johned63 · November 2012

making a schedule for exercising was important to me. Without making the commitment to myself and making time in my schedule for me I would forever be too busy. That is the other thing that was very important, making the commitment to me! I have no problems making commitments to my boss, my coworkers, my family but I always put myself last and that included my health. It was a hard leap for me to make, but I realized that was the real issue and I had to put myself at the head of the line when it came to my health.

Good luck on your journey, it sounds like you have a lot of great things ahead of you!

Currently at The Biggest I've ever been

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