how to motivate someone else to start

If you talk to people who were overweight for a long time before deciding to make the jump into weight loss, they'll all tell you that they had an "ah-ha" moment where they realized it was time. Until your brother has that moment, there is little you can do to push him into it. Trying to guilt him or otherwise motivate him will likely backfire. Unless you can control someone's eating and exercise, they can sabotage it and "blame" it on you for pressuring them.

All you can do is sit him down, explain why you think it's important and let him know that you're ready to support him whenever he's ready to make the commitment. And then follow through on that support when he IS ready. If he says he's ready, but isn't really making the effort, try to plan work outs together, invite him over for healthy meals (or cook with him if you live together) etc. Success breeds success. If he starts to see results he's more likely to start to become more invested in the process.

Buy him a gym membership for Christmas.


Tell him he should join MFP

You lead by example and hopefully he follows. He will just resent you if you keep trying to push him.

You can only push so much before you just have to run out in front and hope he'll follow. Motivation comes from within. Your brother obviously hasn't found his reason to start yet.

When you talk to him about it ask him about why he wants to do it and what he thinks is holding him back. What would need to change in order for him to take the next step toward leading a healthier lifestyle? Don't lecture him, but make sure he knows you're there when he's ready. If you're in the same place as him, invite him to go for a walk/bike ride/to the gym, etc. with you. That way you're not being pushy, but he knows the option is there for him to take that first step.

You can also offer to work with him on it. If you're not able to physically be there with him to exercise or plan meals (because of distance), set up a time, maybe once a week, to talk on the phone and discuss the progress each of you has made. Talk about what's hard about what you are doing and how each of you overcomes that particular obstacle. It's much easier to make a lifestyle change if you don't have to do it alone, so this might be a way you can help him.

For me the push was for someone to finally tell me how over weight I was...when I got pregnant with my daughter I got real sick and was worried I wasn't eating enough...the doctor told me "you have enough fat on you to feed the baby" it was harsh and hard to swallow but after I had her I changed my life and started living healthy.

everyone for 5 year...(didn't have a weight issue till after my first) tip toed around my weight gain, never being upfront with me and of course telling me "your still beautiful" and when I would say things like I want to loose weight and blah blah. I got the "we support you" "do what you need too" yet still never did anything about it.

I am glad she was so harsh with me. it was the push I needed.

Im not saying it would work with your brother, but tough love worked with me.

I did like another poster suggesting MFP as well as having him meet you at the gym. or maybe even like go play basket ball together or something active to get him started but not making him feel like you are "exercising"

you see hes been saying i want to do this for months now ever since i lost my weight hes been talking about doing it himself and how he wants me to hold him accountable but its hard to do that when i live 3 hours away from him

hate to say it, but I think the only way you can help him is to tell him straight up - the next time he says that about wanting you to hold him accountable, you need to let him know that is BS and HE needs to hold HIMSELF accountable.

That statement leads me to believe he is just shifting the blame to someone else when all the blame belongs on his own shoulders. By saying he wants you to hold him accountable (knowing that it isn't physically possible - even if you lived WITH him) it gives him the excuse that it isn't his fault because "you aren't doing your part".

There is nothing you can do to make him do it other than lead by example and be supportive, but I wouldn't put up with him trying to blame you for his choices - that should stop. abruptly.

What's a better way to be accountable than to be on MFP and see that big number go red with a minus next to it. I feel bad when I see it and I need to gain !