Feeling frumpy and unattractive.

Kirsty300
Kirsty300 Posts: 8
in Introduce Yourself
Yesterday I said to my hubbie that I felt old, frumpy and unattractive (standing in my joggers by the front door with no make up).
He gave me a kiss and said "well I would love to hang out and feel comfortable like you everyday".

That was not what I wanted to hear - he didn't deny a thing.

First I was hurt and then I thought I would do something about it in time for our anniversay in March.

Anyone need a buddy - I have some work to do!
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Replies

  • Mairalove94
    Mairalove94 Posts: 4
    I just started this and I need buddies I feel so bad and unhappy about my body that I can't sleep at night just thinking about it.. But anyways I'm motivated to get my night sleep and look good in a prom dress! I also have hated shopping cz I can't find things that make me feel and look good so let's be buddies(:
  • Kirsty300
    Kirsty300 Posts: 8
    That would be great - I want to look in a mirror and smile. Thanks.
  • Mairalove94
    Mairalove94 Posts: 4
    I don't even keep a mirror in my room nd I am unhappy so I need to be happy and yu need to be happy bout that mirror lmao! Lets do this! Hurahhh! Lol
  • kmkgurl
    kmkgurl Posts: 321 Member
    im always up for new buddies XD add me! i would like to feel more attractive to my fiance!
  • Kirsty300
    Kirsty300 Posts: 8
    Thanks everyone - oh btw I am not putting a photo up for a while - I had a disastrous cut. I thought I could take a bob and I thought I could keep it straight. My hair has lost its weight adn gone very curly and I now look like the Queen!
  • kmkgurl
    kmkgurl Posts: 321 Member
    aww.. im sure you look great! Think positive dont put urself down. =)
  • DOB1973
    DOB1973 Posts: 29 Member
    My hair has days like that, especially in this damp weather.

    Also, Its all very well exercising everyday but I am constantly washing and straightening my hair. it cant be good for it, but its not long enough to put up. :-(
  • KravMark
    KravMark Posts: 308 Member
    Feel free to add me anyone. Ive been doing this for about 4 months and it does help if you have a support network and set realistic goals!!

    Mark.
  • Kirsty300
    Kirsty300 Posts: 8
    Mark - what are you doing on your weight tracker?
  • KravMark
    KravMark Posts: 308 Member
    Shooting guns :)
  • kayork
    kayork Posts: 31 Member
    Feel free to add me. It would be nice to have more friends to kep me motivated.
  • umachanxo
    umachanxo Posts: 926 Member
    Added you! :) Welcome to MFP!
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,809 Member
    Well you know what to buy your husband for Christmas - a book on tact and diplomacy perhaps?
    Sounds like you haven't trained him properly!! :wink:
  • steller21
    steller21 Posts: 4
    Hi all. I'm new to this website, but not to this game. Lord knows I've been struggling ever since I can remember. And any support would be most helpful. I'm feeling just not 100% these days and I know I can do it, I just need support not the constant stream of negative voices (mainly my mother's) clouding my head. So if anyone wants to be friends, we can work together to stop the bad-self talk.
  • pollyineedtobeskinny
    pollyineedtobeskinny Posts: 362
    I know exactly what you mean :-( If you feel like this, this should push you to work towards your goal. Aslong as your doing something about your weight then no one can judge you. Don't judge yourself, you are doing something about it.

    The fact your husbands saying that and kissing you, means he still loves you :-)

    Let's be buddies. I have days like this all the time :-( sucks to be us!!!

    I want to look in a mirror in my underwear and love who I am x
  • Hulk0511
    Hulk0511 Posts: 407 Member
    Welcome all!!! feel free to add me and good luck to everyone on your journey!!
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    I have days even after losing 30+ pounds when I feel old, frumpy and unattractive. But, your husband must've been having a grumpy day! Even when I weighed almost 170 (not pregnant or postpartum!) my husband told me how beautiful I was and how lucky he was to have me. My feelings would've been hurt, too!

    It's good to see you being motivated instead of getting UN motivated (which is what I would've done!). I hope you find some activites you enjoy and accomplish your fitness goals! MFP is a great place to get encouragement!!!
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    I remember making a similar comment to hubby once when we were out on a date. We were at a club listening to a friend of mine play music, and it was a younger crowd...I felt frumpy and unattractive next to all the younger gals. Hubby replied "Yeah, but I bet you could kick two or three of their @$$ses at the same time." Then he didn't understand why I was upset.
    But hey, I got my butt in gear after that! There's no better cure for the frumpies than regular exercise! Now I can look back on hubby's comment and laugh.
  • trishaeich
    trishaeich Posts: 40 Member
    I like new friends! Feel free to add me. I'm getting married next year and that was my motivator, but everday I keep thinking to myself that this is for life, because I deserve to be happy, hot and healthy! You do to! :)
  • brittamh
    brittamh Posts: 137 Member
    you can add me if you would like
  • Ivey05131980
    Ivey05131980 Posts: 1,118 Member
    Add me, but send a message along so I know who it is...we can do this together!! :)
  • SassieChik03
    SassieChik03 Posts: 39 Member
    You guys can add me if you like - I am always looking for friends to encourage and to encourage me :)
  • MissKitty9
    MissKitty9 Posts: 224 Member
    Aw, some guys tend to just take you at your word & respond to that-- he probably didn't know how to reassure you! But with that said, it's always great to have something to motivate you :) Feel free to add me. I just got back in the game after a month or so of slacking :-/ haha
  • micl86
    micl86 Posts: 48
    feel free to ad me also I always looking for new motivation.
  • marthathebear
    marthathebear Posts: 498
    The only thing that cures that feeling is exercise! It gets results and elevates your mood. You can add me if you like. I love to be a motivator.
  • rubyautumn4
    rubyautumn4 Posts: 818 Member
    Sorry you're feeling that way!i have been too and March is one to my goal points. Feel free to add!
  • Kat5343
    Kat5343 Posts: 451 Member
    I have a great looking guy and I want to look my best for him. He never criticises my weight but I would love to WOW him!!! Add me if you want some motivation!!! Let's do this!!!
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
    Don't be too hard on your hubby. Us guys are not the sharpest tools in the shed! We mean well, but sometimes the brain is just not connected to the mouth!

    As for feeling frumpy, this is all up to you. My experience (Male) has been that as I progressed in my weight loss and my fitness level improved, so did my self esteem. Not that my self worth is based upon my looks! But, as a fat person, I was always a back of the class person (out of sight, out of mind). As I started to see success in my fitness goals, I gained some pride and confidence.

    Although I am still basically a shy person, I am now much more comfortable with who I am and how I appear to others.

    Best of luck on your journey!
  • brandylb79
    brandylb79 Posts: 8 Member
    I'm new also. Would love to join you in being motivated. I have the same feelings sometimes and it gets hard to stay on track when your doing it alone. Feel free to add me!
  • Leeann1979
    Leeann1979 Posts: 1,090 Member
    My boyfriend has told me almost every day for years that I am beautiful, but for the majority of the those years, I have hated myself. I appreciated that he thought that way about me, but it didnt take away the hate i had for myself. We were on a trip this past summer, and once again I had gained back 15 of the 20 pounds I lost last winter. We were shopping at a deadly outlet mall, and nothing fit, nothing looked good, and it made the day really depressing cuz he was buying lots of clothes. I got a glimpse in a window of myself, and i wanted to cry. I was wearing comfy capris with a tshirt, hair not done, and minimal makeup. I felt like a lazy cow. I know how you feel. Our hubbies obviously love us and think we are beautiful, now we need to think that way ourselves!!

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