Where do I find the long term motivation?

Hi there-
I feel similarly to you. Weight has been a lifelong struggle. I find my motivation in keeping the goals small and getting on the scale frequently so I can "celebrate" the small wins like 1 lb lost here or there. They add up and goodness knows they come on in blink of an eye but take so much work to loose.

I've lost 23 lbs so far since July and I have about 45 more to go. It feels like it's such a long way off but I try to think that it may be slow but it's working.

I'm looking for new friends for encouragement and accountablity. My boyfriend and I were doing this together but broke up last month and so I'm looking for new support as I continue this challenge!

:happy:

It is definitely a mental game. That is the much harder part. I have had weight issues my whole adult life.
This is my third major effort at tackling my weight problem. The first attempt was with a low carb/ Atkins approach. It worked well until I let some family/ life crap derail me. I lost 80 lbs in 4 months (285 - 205). Gained about 10 back, but stayed there for about 6 - 8 months. That is when the other 'life' crap happened. I started eating and eating, and gained and gained.

My second attempt I joined a program called Metabolic Research Center. The diet was good, the exercise they encouraged was great. I was walking and pushing myself to walk a half marathon. I lost 40 pounds (282 - 242). But, mentally, I just wasn't there. I got annoyed with the lady I worked with that was a size 4, and was all about how she used to be 160 lbs and a size 12. I thought - You have no idea what it means to be heavy.

I gained everything back and then some.

Almost a year ago, I knew my health was very bad, I weighed 295 pounds. Everyday I would say a silent prayer that I hoped I didn't have a stroke today. I finally went to the doctor to find out just how bad things were. My blood pressure was 195/ 115. Several weeks later I got the rest of the lab work results - sugar levels 127, and while my cholesterol wasn't 'bad' combined with all the other numbers he said I was in metabolic syndrome. Based on my blood pressure and weight - I started that day.

My motivation on those days where I am struggling...
1) remembering where I was at, and how easy it is to fall back into that.
2) my kids - I want to be there and enjoy all their life moments with them
3) my kids - as an example of what a healthy lifestyle is
4) talking with friends who are a healthy weight and have always been - and learning that it isn't easy for them either. For some it is easier than others, but for MANY - it is a 'force yourself to workout', because it is just what we have to do for a balanced healthy life.
5) for diet ... remind myself that diet is and always will be a majority of the battle. You can't out exercise a terrible diet.

I find that having specific mini goals does help. Last year I did a 5K (walk) in March, a walked Relay-for-Life in July, and Race for the Cure in September. I look forward to jogging the Shamrock Run this year in March. I also want to do a Warrior Dash in September.

My most recent push comes from joining a group to get to under 200 by Christmas. I have had two significant stalls, but am right at target to make that goal. I haven't seen that number since 1991!!

My ultimate goal is not a number on the scale, it is to be under 22% body fat, and to have a less than 29 inch waist. I also have a specific fitness goal of being able to run 3 miles in 30 minutes or less.

When you want to say 'Screw It', tell yourself - I am worth this. It is worth it!! It is not just to lose weight, but to get and STAY healthy. Even if you don't lose another pound, your heart needs you to eat right and get regular exercise.

Good Luck!!!

Pretty much comes down to the fact that you have to be ready to change.

I knew for many years that I should not be smoking, but I made all sorts of excuses and rationalizations as to why I should keep smoking. Then, one day, I just hit that critical point where all the excuses sounded stupid and hollow and I knew that I wanted to be healthy, save money and not feel ostracized everywhere I went. So I quit. It wasn't easy, but I knew that going in. I fell on and off the wagon for a while. That was 16 years ago. I am so glad that I stopped smoking as I watch my mother suffering with emphsema.

FF to present: In the past 3 years I gained 21 lbs. I made excuses. I rationalized. Then, I realized that I was doing exactly what I had done as a smoker. I know what is required to lose weight. I knew it would required diligence on my part. I have lost 21 lbs.

Everytime someone asks me, "Have you lost weight?" and I reply, "yes, 21 lbs since January." Then they always ask, "How did you do it?" I reply, "I log everything I eat so that I can porion control and I exercise at least 5 days a week." And then I wait for the excuses and the rationalizations. They always come. I don't argue with them. I just nod and go on about my business. I realize that they are not ready. They are hoping I will tell them that I took this pill or used this diet and magically dropped 21 lbs.

Bottom line, you have to be ready to make the change. No on can "give you" the motivation. You have to be ready to stop the excuses and the rationalizations. BUT...if you stay on this site and keep reading the success stories and get informed about diet and exercise, if you log your food intake and move a little, you will see results.

look at my friends, some are long term success stories, that motivates me.

I have just started this for the 3 time, but my motivation this round comes from a book- Eat that Frog. My sister is having me read it. It has nothing to do with weight loss, but everything to do with achieving success. I plan on reading one book a month to find out how others stay motivated to achieve their goals. I know the how to lose the weight, and now my why needs to be big enough to make me want it enough to do the necessary steps.

As a lifelong yo-yo, my motivation while losing weight isn't the problem. It's staying where I am once I've reached my goal weight -- which I've done numerous times.

I boil it down to one word: sustainability.

On the way down I take it one day at a time. I don't try to lose X number of pounds by a certain date. I'll get there when (not if) I get there -- and I also take how I look and how my clothes fit into consideration. It isn't just the scale.

In the past I've been great with ramping up my exercise, which then "let" me eat more. The problem was, that amount of exercise wasn't sustainable. Neither did I change my emotional eating as a stress response, so the weight came back on and then some.

This time I'm taking it at a slower pace. I'm changing my stress responses away from food. I'm exercising not because I have to, but because I want to, and with a mini-bike beside my desk I'm making it easier for myself. I also make my food substitutions easier, by making sure that I always have a good supply on hand of fresh produce.

It's not a diet. It's just another day.

Caregiving has taught me to live in the moment because our world can change on a dime. I have learned to have no expectations, but to just keep doing the right thing. I have also learned a lot of patience. I know that I cannot take care of another person if I can't care for myself, and I am worth surviving and thriving wherever and whenever I can. Taking care of myself is part of that thriving.

The real test for me will come once I reach my goal weight, whenever that is. All I can say at this point is that I'm headed in that direction, one day at a time, and that's all that I can ask for.

Focus on true health/fitness and not just weight. That's what has worked for me. Sure, I have lost weight in the process, and would be happy to lose more, but my real goal is better health: eating healthy foods, getting stronger, being more flexible, having more stamina. I know many people believe thin=healthy and fat=unhealthy, but a quick look around the forums here will prove otherwise (you'll see 250 pound people running 5ks and 110 pound women starving themselves and scared to lift weights lest they build all that unhealthy muscle). Work on true health and weight loss may follow (and, even if it doesn't, you'll still feel better).

My point is, "weight" or "health" where health is only a euphemism for "weight" isn't always an inspiring enough goal. Having a fitness goal is helpful, rather than just a number goal. If there is a sport or other activity (for me it's dance) that you can get involved with, that might be more inspiring to you than just a vague feeling of wanting to be thinner.

Also, go easy on yourself. If you want some ice cream have it. Don't stress about things like Thanksgiving dinner. Really changing your body, whether to become skinnier, stronger, or anything else takes time and is an on-going process. If you beat yourself up over every little thing, you'll get off track and never make it to your destination.

I think you must have been spying on me all the years I yelled "SCREW THIS!" with my "I don't give a crap" attitude!!!! LOL

It is hard to go long term when we live in an "instant gratification" society anymore. It's hard to stay "in the moment" doing the "What can I do RIGHT NOW that's going to help me tomorrow?"

One thing that helps me a lot is that I have a Fitbit. Between the Fitbit, and logging on MFP, I have enough data to show that what I'm doing is setting me up for success. Watch the numbers at the bottom of your food diary that say, "If every day were like today, you would weigh this much in 5 weeks..." Also watch the graph on the Fitbit site that shows the calories burned vs. calorie intake....if you're burning more than you take in, you're going to lose weight. Also, on the Fitbit site, you can put in what your target weight is - and it'll tell you - "You should hit your goal on ________ day." So it gives you a light at the end of the tunnel.

For me it was all about giving me enough data to show that I was making steps in the right direction.

For what it's worth....

Celebrate the wins. Each cm lost, each lb lost. Do it in bite sized chunks. Work on the 10% goal - aim to lose 10% of your weight at a time. I was 176lb, I have lost 10% of that, so am now working towards my next goal of losing another 16lb. Then I will try to lose another 14lb and be at my healthy weight.

But these milestones are not what is driving me. I have booked in group fitness sessions about 5 times per week, if I don't go I forfeit my payment. That's a big motivator for me. I have started C25k, I aim to finish this by Christmas. I have two friends who are going to push me over the Christmas break to work out

Thanks for all of this as far as health goes: every doctor I've ever been to has all said I'm incredibly healthy. There's nothing wrong with me, I just need to lose a few pounds.

What are some good reward ideas for meeting goals?

I always try to reward myself with new clothes, or something that I now "need" due to my weight loss - if I can fit comfortably into a smaller size pants, I buy them!! :laugh:

I have also bought new running shoes, workout clothes, etc, because some of my old stuff was literally falling off of me!!

Good luck!!