I hate my job (Need advice)

LoveleeB
LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
in Chit-Chat
First off, I usually don't post serious things much on the forums but I have a dilemma and I would like feedback from a larger audience then just my immediate friends/family. This might not be the best avenue to share this information but I figured I would get more response on here than on a blog.

Here’s the situation:

I graduated in May with my master’s in counseling and was hired on by the clinic where I completed my grad internship at. The internship was working with children, which was not the specialty track I went to school for but I learned a lot from it so I accepted the position because it saved me the headache of having to find a new job. I’ve been there since May and have been miserable. I’m not going to go on b****ing about the details but basically there are a lot of things I didn’t know I would have to deal with until after I was hired. Working for a non-profit is a pile of crap in my field, which is also something I didn’t know about until I experienced it. Let me just put a caveat out there that that I love my clients (for the most part) and that my issue is with the organization and how they take advantage of their employees.

Now let’s fast forward. I have been trying to find a job for the past 5 months with no luck. I am at my wits end with this job. I literally DREAD going to work and have noticed that it is taking a toll on me emotionally/mentally and now physically because I’m just exhausted. I very much want to put in my 2 weeks’ notice even though I don’t have another job lined up. Thankfully, with money I have saved and the fact that I am (un)fortunately living at home with my mother, I could technically survive awhile without a job. I hate feeling like a quitter though and tend to be hard on myself. Many people have told me to get out while I can and others tell me to stick it out.

Is it worth it to be miserable until I find a new job? Or should I cut my ties now and hope I get another job soon?? Thoughts, opinions, encouragement welcome.

Replies

  • FitGoal165
    FitGoal165 Posts: 82
    IMO, I would ride this out until you find a new job. The economy is getting better but it still isn't an environment where you'd want to be jobless because there's no telling when the next job is coming. Also, it tends to be easier to get a job when you have a job than to be jobless and get a job (my friend in HR has told me this). However, if you get to the point where you're going to run your coworkers down in the parking lot, by all means quit and maintain your sanity. Good luck.
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
    IMO, I would ride this out until you find a new job. The economy is getting better but it still isn't an environment where you'd want to be jobless because there's no telling when the next job is coming. Also, it tends to be easier to get a job when you have a job then to be jobless and get a job (my friend in HR has told me this). However, if you get to the point where you're going to run your coworkers down in the parking lot, by all means quit and maintain your sanity. Good luck.

    I agree with this.
  • SeaRunner26
    SeaRunner26 Posts: 5,143 Member
    I went through a very similar situation about eight years ago. I got my degree in civil engineering and started working for the company I interned for immediately after graduation. In the first week of full time employment, I knew I hated it. I actually stayed there six more years trying to "make things work" because I felt like I was giving up or that I should be able to make things work. I finally realized that I was making myself miserable and that life was way to short to spend most of my waking time hating what I was doing.

    I finally started looking around for another job. During that time, I let my employer know what I was doing (I had a great relationship with the owner of the company). I worked there part time for the four months it took me to find a new job. When I found my new job, it turned out to be the perfet fit. It was still with an engineering firm but I was out of the engineering sectino and into the business section. It was just what I was looking for.

    So first, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Second, if you're that unhappy, definitely look for new work. Third, if you can handle it, try to keep your old job while looking for a new one. Good luck to you.
  • Pinkemi
    Pinkemi Posts: 937 Member
    I have to say that I disagree.. I was once in a similar situation as you. Used to wake up feeling like I wanted to cry because I dreaded going to work so much.

    In the long run I quit with no job to go to. It was hard finacially but it was the best thing I have ever done. No longer was I a depressive, moody, exhausted woman. Quite literally a weight was lifted off my shoudlers!

    I say if you can survive 6 months or so unemployed (just incase) then go for it. Your happiness is MUCH more important then money.

    Good luck! :-)
  • Colombianchick29
    Colombianchick29 Posts: 298 Member
    IMO, I would ride this out until you find a new job. The economy is getting better but it still isn't an environment where you'd want to be jobless because there's no telling when the next job is coming. Also, it tends to be easier to get a job when you have a job then to be jobless and get a job (my friend in HR has told me this). However, if you get to the point where you're going to run your coworkers down in the parking lot, by all means quit and maintain your sanity. Good luck.

    I agree with this.

    I also agree w/ these 2 posts!
  • afv417
    afv417 Posts: 466 Member
    IMO, I would ride this out until you find a new job. The economy is getting better but it still isn't an environment where you'd want to be jobless because there's no telling when the next job is coming. Also, it tends to be easier to get a job when you have a job than to be jobless and get a job (my friend in HR has told me this). However, if you get to the point where you're going to run your coworkers down in the parking lot, by all means quit and maintain your sanity. Good luck.

    agreed.
  • sarah6336
    sarah6336 Posts: 108 Member
    Is there anyway you could learn to like your job? If not, then try to look for a new one. I think it is best to try to be happy with what we have, rather than looking for somehting new. It is a tough market out there. Hang in there.
  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
    I used to work at a job I HATED! Everyday I put in probably 10-15 resumes with different companies. I actually put my resume in at a temp agency and they got me another job making way more but it was a temp job, so the possibility I would be without a job in the future was high. I took it, gambling a little, and worked my butt off with the company. They decided to hire me on and I've been with them for 6 years. Sometimes you have to gamble a little but make sure you can carry yourself if things fall through.
  • Gianna5587
    Gianna5587 Posts: 59 Member
    I have to say that I disagree.. I was once in a similar situation as you. Used to wake up feeling like I wanted to cry because I dreaded going to work so much.

    In the long run I quit with no job to go to. It was hard finacially but it was the best thing I have ever done. No longer was I a depressive, moody, exhausted woman. Quite literally a weight was lifted off my shoudlers!

    I say if you can survive 6 months or so unemployed (just incase) then go for it. Your happiness is MUCH more important then money.

    Good luck! :-)

    Agree with this! Have just handed in my notice. Best feeling ever!

    I'm going to do some temping work until I find something that makes me happy... I really trust that everything will work out OK in the end.
  • Kelley528
    Kelley528 Posts: 319 Member
    You will get to the point where you will no longer be living with mommy so you are better off "manning" up now. You dont have another job, you may not find another job for a long time in this economy.

    Adults have to stick it out until something else comes along. Living off your savings INTENTIONALLY is never a smart option. Also when living in the real world when you dont have you parents to fall back on, it is not so easy to save up money again when you truly need to support yourself.

    You graduated college so you obviously are not a child. Time to be a responsible adult.
  • tinytasha7
    tinytasha7 Posts: 86 Member
    I think the best thing to do is make up a list of pros and cons for staying or going. Also take into account how it makes you feel over all and on a day to day basis.

    I worked for the Canadian government for 17 years. During much of that time, I was bullied and harassed, discriminated against due to a disability, had my privacy violated, and was on disability twice due to stress and aggravation of a mental illness as a result of my treatment. For years everyone advised I stick with it because it was such good money. Of course with no post secondary education, it would be hard for me to expect such a good salary, however, I did find a job in the private sector that I love. It paid $15000 a year less, but in the long run, I'm a LOT Happier. Money can't buy that. I went from taking 3-5 Lorazepam (anti anxiety meds) per day to two in the last 5 months.

    I am also now able to take more time to be good to myself by taking that step. On the other hand, I DID have something else to go to, (though I could have collected disability benefits for up to 2 years if I hadn't). Sometimes taking a risk and putting your faith in yourself is worth it. Sometimes being cautious is better in the long run. You need to decide what you can and will live with and what is the best for you. As well, talk to your mother about it. Be sure she has no objections if you are living in her house.
  • basillowe66
    basillowe66 Posts: 432 Member
    Well this is a non-paying job right? I presume your internship is completed. If thats the case and they are not paying you, you certainly don't have to put up with crap from them. You are unhappy, why stay there? Is is costing you money to go there, you hate it????

    If you quit there it gives you more time to pursue other PAYING jobs.

    You could tell these peopl that you will work part time if that is what you would like, but don't put up with any crap from them!!

    Basil
  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
    You will get to the point where you will no longer be living with mommy so you are better off "manning" up now. You dont have another job, you may not find another job for a long time in this economy.

    Adults have to stick it out until something else comes along. Living off your savings INTENTIONALLY is never a smart option. Also when living in the real world when you dont have you parents to fall back on, it is not so easy to save up money again when you truly need to support yourself.

    You graduated college so you obviously are not a child. Time to be a responsible adult.

    I will ignore the fact that your post makes the assumption that I am an adult, but not a responsible one. Not only did I graduate college, but also graduate school and I am only 24 years old so I feel like I very responsible adult, which is why I am not taking this decision lightly. I know that either way I go, it will have significant implications. Thanks for your opinion.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    When making a decision to quit and live off savings don't forget to take the other employee perks into consideration when calculating the cost...like health insurance, which you may or may not get at a new company based on what you have when you are unemployed...if it were me I would secure a new position before leaving, but really this is a decision only you can make.
  • Shua89
    Shua89 Posts: 144 Member
    This is tough. I got to a point in May that I couldn't take my job any longer and put in my two weeks notice. I didn't find a new job again until August (and it's a great job). With savings and my husband's income we were okay for the summer but if I hadn't gotten a new job when I did it probably would have gotten tough.

    With so many people looking for work now it's very tough to find a job. Even very experienced people are having difficulty. Try to stick it out and really beef up the job search, also be willing to relocate for a new job. Just understand that no job is perfect, there will always be office politics, lousy managers, and companies that work hard to take advantage of their employees. In the end you still need a paycheck.
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
    I'm going through the same thing. I worked somewhere for 2 years right out of grad school and I was miserable because the hours were insane. I left in May for my current job, and now my hours are MORE insane. I am so miserable and I feel lost. Just knowing how I feel, honestly if you can swing being jobless for a while, quit. It's not worth feeling this way. I unfortunately have an expensive rent and a VERY expensive student loan to pay every month so I can't leave. Also, I can't interview for other jobs while I'm here because it's "crunch time" right now and we aren't allowed to be late, call out sick, make doctors appointments, etc. I literally feel like I'm in jail!

    Good luck!
  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
    Just to clarify, this job does pay (crappy) with NO benefits and I am only working 24 hrs per week and I can't even handle that much. I also have another part-time job (which I like), but it's a temporary position that ends at the end of the year.
  • rayne133
    rayne133 Posts: 33 Member
    Research!

    According to the research I have done, it's easier to get hired for a job if you already have a job. Employers see a gap in employment and see red flags. From experience (my own): I temped for a while hoping to find something in my field. Potential employers see long term temping the same as "unemployment". I am permanent now, but still not in my field.

    Use LinkedIn, make contacts. Have you considered that you may have to move to have the job you want? Are you willing to relocate?

    Resume's submitted online can take up to 6 mos to garner response.

    With that being said. You know you and you have to be true to you. Make the best effort you can to find another job ASAP, if nothing is fruitful, get all the personal recommendations you can from your co-workers (in writing) and then politely submit your resignation.
  • zenchild
    zenchild Posts: 680 Member
    A big blank time period of time looks bad on your resume. It says that either you got fired or quit. Neither is appealing to a hiring manager.
    I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I was working at a job I'd grown to hate while I finished my master's degree. I had actually been at the company since I was 16 and held several positions but being 30 and working in retail was miserable. I put the anger and the misery into looking for a job. I checked a bit on Monster and Careerbuilder but spent more time on Craigslist (less competition). I signed up with a temp agency. All the energy that had gone into being miserable was channeled into getting out. It didn't matter how miserable I was when I left work, when I got home, I started looking. It worked. I am now working at a great small company. It's not perfect but I am content and I don't wake up dreading each day.
    When you get calls for interviews, remember to never say anything negative about your current employer. Say you're looking more opportunities to grow, new challenges, whatever. Looking for a new job because you want to improve yourself sounds great. Looking for a new job because you hate your current one, not so much. We all know that people look for new jobs because we're unhappy somehow with our current situation but we just don't say so.
    I also STRONGLY suggest Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence People. It has some great tips on how to get what you want.
    I know I answered more than you asked but I know how you're feeling. I've been there and it is miserable. Just think of the day when you get to put your notice in. I went up to the worst manager in the store and told her I found another job. The look on her face was priceless. I wasn't giving up, I was moving up.
  • Iron_Duchess
    Iron_Duchess Posts: 429 Member
    I agree with most of the previous comments. There are many factors that play into a decision like changing jobs. By no means think that I want you to be unhappy, but the truth is that the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side. One of the things to really consider is how leaving, your first job after graduating, after only a few months is going to look in your resume. Whoever reads it does not know you and will create assumptions on your character and dedication. In addition to that, experience is extremely valued and a year looks way better than just a few months plus internship. My advice is; keep looking, but give yourself a deadline of a year from hire date to make a rash decision. Focus all you energy on the good things and work on having a good attitude no matter how awful the administration is. Breath, take one day at a time, and good luck.

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