Lack of support :(

Hello to you! Glad you are reaching out to us here! I don't have the "support" of friends around me either. I had a gym membership but my husband lost his job and we downsized where we could and that meant bye-bye gym membership...that sucked BUT with our tax return money we bought a treadmill so we could use it when we wanted to. A very basic one with no bells and whistles because we wanted to save as much money a we could from returns for the "what if he never finds a job" situation. So I have that I can walk on when I need to and now that it is getting colder I am using it more and more. No one holds me accoutable for what I do, eat and the shape I am in... no one except me! And of course I am my worst enemy! Struggled ever since I was little with my weight. At least ever since I was "made fun of" by others! Which in my case started really in the 2nd grade, but got worse in the 5th when I some kids nick named me "LA" (large *kitten*). Funny how some things from such a long time ago stick with you. Anyways it was a choice I MADE, with no ones help! I kept seeing my weight go up and up each month, each yr and it was high time I do something about it! A neighbor of ours had lost over 50 lbs and when asked about it he told us about this sight. Did some research about it and joined! Wasn't committed real good at first but now I am and I log in faithfully and weigh in weekly! Exercise didn't come so easily either. But I took it one day at a time and before I knew it I was in a routine and now look forward to my zumba class and walking on the treadmill. I pop in a movie or listen to my music for 30 mins and its my "me" time. I am not sure where my motivation comes from. Maybe its looking back at pics of me when I was 50 pounds heavier and NOT LIKING what I see, or is it the fact that I used to be the heaviest one of my sisters, I have 2, and now I am not and LOVING that. I am the "middle" one now and working on being the "smallest" when all said and done! Maybe its how I can now wear a size 14 instead of a 20/22 or a Medium/Large shirt instead of an XL/XXL, or the feeling I get when I DON'T work out. It is like the feeling of "I forgot something". But I do take off on 1-2 days a week where I don't walk on the treadmill. But I know the next day I will push it even harder when I get on there! Good luck to you as you go thru your journey! Its a mind set and only you have control over that!

If you are not able to find any groups then try starting one! Not sure where you live but in many cases there are others who feel the same and just looking for someone else to start. Try starting a group on MFP to see if there are any other local people working towards a healthy lifestyle. Set some some small easy goals that will encourage you to continue. Also rmember to be healty alos includes resting heart rate, blood pressure, cholesterol, body fat% so maby take a look at those things as well when setting goals. Do not take on too much too fast keep it simple. You mention you are chasing kids around well get creative put on a HR monitor take your kids outside or to a park if possible and chase them make a game out of it have fun if and when possible. Make sure to reward yourself for hitting your goals maybe some ME time again only if possible. Set a goal for logging in, but you are here and that shows you want to do something! You Got This!

Meetup.com!! Good Luck!

I sit in my home, terrified of social situations.

Here is the problem. Girl, you are more than your weight! And even if you feel awkward and think you're coming across awkward, you're probably not. Even if you are, there are plenty of kind, gracious people out there. You just need to get out there! Push yourself one step at a time. Get yourself around people, even if you don't talk to them. Then work toward initiating a conversation. Then meeting up with someone for a coffee date, ect.

Practice makes perfect, and I'm proof of that. I used to be uncomfortable in big groups and get really quiet. However, I started leading a bible study and was forced to facilitate a discussion among 15 women. Very intimidating for me at first. Now I'm relaxed, more confident, and can approach people easily. But if I hadn't put myself out there, I wouldn't have changed.

Best of luck *hugs*

First off, based on everything I've seen you post, etc., you have an excellent personality. In that alone, you should feel less insecure about social situations. Despite how cruel the world seems, most people would rather hang around a person with good personality and conversation than one who is empty inside but is "skinny." I'm not a looker; I'm fat, my face is hideous, and nine times out of ten I'm the worst looking person in a group of people. But every single person I am hanging out with knows that without fail, I will have their back, I will encourage, and that I mean what I say. They respect that, and I believe if you go into social situations looking to be that friend, looking to give of yourself freely, you will find many people who want to give back in the same way, with no regards for your weight. Now, this is just my experience, but it is exactly what has happened over the last 10 years.

It's hard with no support from your family, yes, but not impossible. And as long as its not impossible, you WILL accomplish your goals, even if it is just us strangers from MFP keeping you going. Don't be intimidated by people, don't be intimidated by the gym. We all want to see you succeed and if you check out the threads, you will see many people who have battled through the same situations and won, and now both look and feel amazing...but more importantly, share their victories with the community so people like you and me know that we, too, can succeed.

Love this...awesome!

We have a website in the UK called Netmums and it has a 'meet a mum' page and you can check your local area for other mums who want to meet new friends. I'm sure you must have the equivalent in the US. I made one really good friend from it.

When my daughter was a newborn and my son was 22 months, I used to go to toddler groups quite a lot to keep my son occupied and to meet other mums. That was last year and now my son is nearly 3.5 and my daughter is 18 months and i'm back at work 3 days a week, so we do other things on the 2 days.

I'm lucky in that I do have some good friends where I live, but this isn't where I grew up, so my oldest friends live quite far away, and my university friends are from all over so I don't see them. My family live nearly 300 miles away, and my husband works shifts.

Do any of your local gyms have a crèche? I usually fit my gym sessions round my husband's shifts, but if I can't then I put my kids in the crèche and they get to play, and I get 2 hours of 'me' time and exercise! Win win.

Once you start exercising you will start to feel better about yourself and feel more confident and able to make friends, and your kids will be happier.

Tops Take off Lbs Sensibly is a great group much cheaper than weight watchers and should find people of all ages and with the same problem or had the same problem and they are called KOPS Keep of lbs Sensibly. I'm sure you will find a group you enjoy.
Your already out belly dancing how cool is that.

Good luck.

I can relate to a lot of what you said, though not in quite the same way. Other than my parents, I have no family on this half of the US. My father and I... Well, we don't exactly get along and my mother is too quiet to be a good mediator. Growing up as an only child surround by adults led me to mature too quickly. Delving into Psychology gave me a jaded view and a much too technical way of speaking. I've never been very good in social situations, nor will I ever be. It isn't even about weight for me in that respect, but my self-esteem still suffers for it like yours does. People in general are terrifying, regardless of if they come one by one or in groups. However, it -is- easier to tackle one problem than many. Before diving head first into a huge support network, I would suggest shifting your mentality a bit. Think of it this way: "One step. Today, I will take one step." Each day within that group or on MFP, reach out to someone new and introduce yourself. You don't have to start with a huge conversation right off the bat. A simple introduction, like what you've done here, with your children or motivations as the main topic is a great start. If the other person replies in kind, you will have succeeded in turning a stranger into something much more human.

The same thing also applies for losing weight. As someone mentioned before, take each day in stride and try to do something productive. Rather than sitting there and telling yourself that you have to lose this or that much weight, go for a simple problem to fix. "I should eat more fruits." Go get a banana. "My protein is low today." Go get some beans. Small goals are much easier to complete and even minor successes can do a great deal for your confidence. If you focus on the smaller steps rather than the whole, you're also likely to reach the end before you realize it. Another big part of this lifestyle change is to enjoy it. Eat foods that you like and participate in activities that you have fun doing. If you sit there starving yourself or exercising until you collapse, there's no way you'll be able to keep the motivation. This doesn't have to be "hard" to show results. Look up some recipes and recreation, then try them all out. You'll start to look forward to each new day if you can earnestly enjoy the food and exercise that's to come. I'm sure your kids will thank you for the variety in meals as well.

Support is a lovely thing when you can get it. I really do agree with you on that point. However... If it's impossible to get, then you really need to give it to yourself. I'll admit that this is my first time seriously trying to "lose weight", but my parents have been pushing at me to do it for a very long time. When I was younger, my father used to tell me that I should stop eating for three months in order to "start my weight loss". He's changed his tune a little bit now that he's tried and failed to diet multiple times, but he still gets furious when he sees me eating anything. Due to that, I shut down hard and starved myself for almost six years. I felt that the only time I could safely eat was when he slept. Yes, that's why I'm here. Not only did I have issues with malnutrition, but I could barely stay awake for five hours during the day. It -is- difficult to do this without support at home. I actually have to sneak snacks into my room just to eat my daily minimum. In the end though, what keeps my motivation strongest is knowing that I never want to feel that way again. I don't want to be scared to eat. You don't want to deprive your children of their mother. We both want to protect what's important to us, and that's the only thing that really matters at the end of the day.

All that said, feel free to toss a friend invite at me if you'd like. I'm more than willing to listen and offer advice whenever needed.

Look into local support groups like over eaters anonymous, faith groups for fitness, etc. Those are free and usually are filled with people in the same boat.
If you have some money to spend...get a personal trainer. Someone you can develop a positive and supportive relationship with. My personal trainers over the past 7 months have motivated me and challenged me (in a healthy way) to keep sticking to my fitness goals. It has been VERY worth the money.
Your local YMCA may also have low cost memberships and also plenty of social activities, groups and fitness classes with lots of people with similar issues (plus YMCA usually has childcare...so your little ones can get watched while you focus on YOU!)
Remember: Your little ones need you...and you can be with them 100% if you are not healthy. They need a healthy mom who will be around to see them all graduate college, get married and have kids of their own.
And just a nudge..a counselor or life coach may be something to consider. A counselor can help you figure out the reasons why you have reached this point and help you figure out how to fix it. No matter what we do with our bodies....if we don't fix our minds first...the body will continue to match the status of our brain.

Wow Pepper, you are close to your goal, great job. That is about the same amount I am working on losing so hopefully that will be me eventually.