Having a panic.

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plaingirly
plaingirly Posts: 378
in Health and Weight Loss
So I was inspired by at the before and after threads here and thought I would take some photographs too. I avoid cameras where ever possible so didn't have any at my weight now - heaviest ever!

Now wishing I hadn't! How could I not have realised what I looked like?! I must have been in complete denial. Totally freaking out now at what I have done to myself and how far I have let myself go. I just kept buying bigger clothes!

Don't want to leave the house now! Feeling sick - can't believe how much damage I have done to myself. There is no-one to blame but me - no-one forced me to eat and eat and eat and do no exercise. Just can't believe that I managed to block out what I looked like.

Got to try to turn this into motivation but now the challenge just seems overwhelming.

Replies

  • bethygirlie
    bethygirlie Posts: 311 Member
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    You can do it. Believe me, if I can you can do it too.
  • Christylee76
    Christylee76 Posts: 138 Member
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    Welcome to MFP..Where generally speaking we are all in the same boat. I think exactly the things you think. What have I done to myself. Just think today is a new day and you have the power to change your lifestyle. You have made that first step. To acknowledge.
  • AmandaCaswell1982
    AmandaCaswell1982 Posts: 170 Member
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    I can say I know exactly how you feel. Use it as your motivation. It seems like a slow process, and there will be time you'll want to give up.... but if you keep at it, and I mean really keep at it- you will notice a change and so will those around you. Keep your chin high.... we emphasize too much on appearance and not on health. Focus on being a healthier you. Best wishes, my dear!!
  • smarinowilson
    smarinowilson Posts: 18 Member
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    you are the same person inside no matter what you weigh.Take one day at a time sweetie you can do this for you.don't be ashamed of yourself love yourself everyday.Be proud of yourself for the new life style you are beginning.you are beautiful,you are smart,you have a lot to offer.you are someone very very important
  • kel665
    kel665 Posts: 401 Member
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    Start today, you can do it! I felt the same when I saw a recent picture of myself, I was disgusted with myself. I have started now, I'm not on any diet, just cutting right down on junk food and making myself eat fruit and salad. I didn't realise how many calories were in foods I was having all the time. Logging what I eat on here has certainly opened my eyes as to what I should and shouldn't be eating. I am losing weight slowly and steadily and I wish I had have started a year ago, but I have started now and it's working!

    If you want some more supportive friends, send me a friend request, I am on here every day :)
  • btracy01
    btracy01 Posts: 49
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    Just take it one week at a time, when you start to see that evil number go down, that's where your motivation comes from :) Trust me lol I'm in pretty much the same boat that you're in
  • addmorecloud
    addmorecloud Posts: 78 Member
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    Just take one day at a time. Make small goals and treat yourself with non-food rewards for achieving them. (New nail varnish, new workout song from itunes, new workout dvds to stop yourself getting bored etc). Start slowly with walking and bodyweight exercises. Do something fun like zumba or a salsa class. There are some really great workout dvds like the 10 minute soloution ones that mean you can start at home if you're not ready for people to see you working out (I know I'm certainly not!) Don't beat yourself up if you slip up. Just start again the next day and persevere. I am a comfort eater who has also avoided photos and ignored the fact that clothes that used to be loose are now straining or shoved to the back of my wardrobe because I couldn't get them on.

    I have made lots of 'fresh starts' and have slipped up many times due to various reasons (meeting a guy who is a big eater and doesn't put weigh on, grr. Going on holiday, gym closing, appendix bursting). I am determined that this will be my last fresh start and the beginning of a healthy future.

    I am choosing not to focus on the problem, but on the solutions. You've made a great start by joining the myfitnesspal community, keep it up and you'll be looking and feeling better in no time! Promise!
  • plaingirly
    plaingirly Posts: 378
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    Added the photographs to my profile - working on being completely honest with myself.

    I have been on a healthy me plan for 2 weeks (my first weigh in is this evening) and I feel better. More energetic, more awake and even more confident after going to a few Zumba classes.

    I knew I was getting bigger but I just pretended it wasn't happening. I just look so unhealthy!

    I have been so motivated for the last two weeks - eating healthy food, giving up fizzy pop and exercising so I need to get back into it. Feel shaken but don't want to give up.

    Something like this would normally see me eating loads and loads but I don't want to give into emotional eating any more.
  • Donnaovercomer
    Donnaovercomer Posts: 55 Member
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    First of all Relax. Most of us come to the same realization from pictures. You can do this. Just take it day by day, moment by moment. Make sure you log your food and then start slowly moving and then increase that. You will see results but you got invest the time in yourself. You are worth it!
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
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    I am so happy that you took pictures...I wish i had taken more when I started.

    Also take your measurements!!!

    You have this...be patient.

    OH and also SMASHHHHH things,,,lift some weights as well ...you will not be sorry.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    The camera is a much harsher judge than the mirror but it can also be a very pushy friend if you use it that way. You can lose the weight. Set small goals every day that help you get to your ultimate goal. And most of all make sure that your internal conversation with yourself is positive.
  • Clarice530
    Clarice530 Posts: 11
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    Girly, you're beautiful....you look just like me in a lighter color :-)...we are in same ship, boat, hotel all that stuff, but you can do this...me and your other MFP's are here to do this with you. You've done the first thing by being honest with yourself, so feel great about that. We CAN and We WIll Succeed~
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
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    You can do this. Start small steps. One day at a time. Getting bigger didn't happen over night.

    And do what cranky suggests..lift some weights..you'll look awesome :)
  • plaingirly
    plaingirly Posts: 378
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    Feeling better - thank you all! I can do this!

    Weights

    I have some dumbells that are 1.1 kg - guessing I need some bigger ones! There are so many to choose from ... would something that says

    "This is a great set for those new to weightlifting. With 12 discs giving you 7 weight levels up to 15kg, get started toning and strengthening upper body muscles.

    12 disc set: 7 weight levels from 5 to 15kg, 4 x 0.5kg, 8 x 1.25kg discs and 4 spinlock collars.
    2 x spinlock system solid dumbbell bars with knurled handgrips and forged inner collars."

    be a good idea? I have no clue! I don't think I am very strong at all.
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
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    That sounds a pretty good set to start with...
    I bet you you're much stronger than you think :wink:
  • plaingirly
    plaingirly Posts: 378
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    Getting excited about it again!

    It has done me good to see the before and afters on here. At first I thought I wanted to be super skinny but now I want to be strong and fit. I want muscles - not crazy muscles but that toned look!
  • stephgreene
    stephgreene Posts: 143
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    I think everyone has experienced this at one point or another - I know I have. You just have to take it with a grain of salt and instead of feeling sorry for yourself and curling up in bed with some nachos/chocolate/your weakness food, go work up a sweat for 20 minutes. It's a long process, but it will get easier. I've lost just around 20lbs and can't seem to get over that hump without reaching 203lbs and bouncing up 10lbs. Totally mental. You can do it though, I have confidence in you that you can do it, just like I have confidence that this time I will get over the damn hump
  • Flamenquero
    Flamenquero Posts: 132
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    Hey! Don't be hard on yourself like that. Just take the steps needed and be patient about your progress. Many here have been through the journey. You will get the support you need.
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
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    Congratulations on being honest with yourself and wanting to take steps in a positive direction. I'm sure a lot of us were not happy with where we started, but if you make an effort, you can change things.

    I got a membership at a 24 hour fitness in September of 2011. I used to say i went to the gym at 3:30AM because of the smaller crowds, but the truth was that I was embarrased, and I didn't want anyone to see me.

    Over a year later, and around 50 lbs down, I still go early, because I like exercising early and getting it off my "to do" list, and frankly I DO dislike the crowds in the afternoon / evening hours.

    Good luck, and be patient.
  • foleyshirley
    foleyshirley Posts: 1,043 Member
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    So I was inspired by at the before and after threads here and thought I would take some photographs too. I avoid cameras where ever possible so didn't have any at my weight now - heaviest ever!

    Now wishing I hadn't! How could I not have realised what I looked like?! I must have been in complete denial. Totally freaking out now at what I have done to myself and how far I have let myself go. I just kept buying bigger clothes!

    Don't want to leave the house now! Feeling sick - can't believe how much damage I have done to myself. There is no-one to blame but me - no-one forced me to eat and eat and eat and do no exercise. Just can't believe that I managed to block out what I looked like.

    Got to try to turn this into motivation but now the challenge just seems overwhelming.

    You and I started at the same place (except I am 5' 4"). I never took a before pic, but I was always so disheartened by photos of me. I also could no longer face the full length mirrors when trying on clothes. I couldn't believe I had let it happen. That was in June. I started weight watchers the day after my 48th birthday in June, and ended up on MFP in August. You can turn this around. It is a slow process, but I have learned so much. Trust me, one year from now you will be glad you started. I already am, and it has only been 6 months. Good luck.

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