People suck - major confidence hit

I got a massage at one of the shopping plazas near home yesterday and the massage lady dared to say -- oh your face so thin - but your body so fat....too bad I had already paid...

Yeah - guess what - I put all my weight around my hips, butt and thighs. Sir Mix a Lot would love me, but I hate it.

I spent most of last night crying, as I never get nice comments, and I am so hungry, but I am scared of eating!

(by the way those in Penrith area NSW/Australia) message me and I'll tell you the place, as you won't want to go there either!

Replies

  • nomsquared
    nomsquared Posts: 35 Member
    Was she asian? Unfortunately, in a lot of asian cultures, that's perfectly acceptable to say... I'm looking at you, Korea.
  • Iron_Maiden
    Iron_Maiden Posts: 326 Member
    That is really awful! People are clueless. Don't let her win and don't allow another person's ignorance define how you view yourself and how you live your life! I'm glad you posted about it so you can vent, get it out, and move on. Continue to fight your own battles and live your your own dreams. Forget insignificant people. They aren't worth the time! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • Ohmigosh, I am so sorry this happened to you. What a jerk.

    Please don't be so hard on yourself and stop listening to all of those rude people (I know it's easier said than done). You CAN do this. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Hugs!
  • spm2010
    spm2010 Posts: 197 Member
    I would call that salon and tell the manager what happened. Ask for your money back and tell her you'll be letting all your friends know how horrible their service is.
  • TraciStivers
    TraciStivers Posts: 116 Member
    People do suck. I'm sorry she hurt your feelings. I have had mine hurt a time or two also. I would call the salon and talk to the manager, if for no other reason than to spare someone else from the pain you felt.
  • Smokey19
    Smokey19 Posts: 796 Member
    There are so many cruel, uncaring, rude people out there that just really don't know when to keep their opinions to themselves. Don't let one person undo what you are working for. You are a loving caring person who doesn't deserve to be treated that way. I have never had a massage and don't think that I could have one due to 8 sternal and abdominal surgeries. The scars would really provoke some cruel thoughts and I don't want to deal with rude people. I find that most of the people on here are the opposite of that rude massage person. I agree that I would report the situation to the salon manager and ask for a refund.
  • dtf88
    dtf88 Posts: 53
    Sorry to hear that, very rude thing to say. Best thing you could do is to use that as motivation.
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
    That is terrible :( I'm sorry.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    Too bad the news doesn't report on stupidity being a global epidemic.

    My dad paraphrases Lincoln's phrase: Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool then open it and remove all doubt.

    Hang in there, and don't let the fools derail you!
  • nascarted10
    nascarted10 Posts: 298 Member
    People can be rude. I call it "stupid" and there are days that I do not do "stupid" well. Use the event to make yourself stay on the plan and be that much more determined. Then go back when you are at your goal and say, screw you I was then and I am now beautiful. (You have a lot of friends that will back you up on that one.)
  • ZeroTX
    ZeroTX Posts: 179 Member
    I would echo the question as to whether or not the masseuse was Asian. It is culturally acceptable to comment on people's apperance, body, and other traits as matter-of-fact. It's not intended to insult. At the same time, it's perplexing how it is that Westerners are expected to comply with non-Western cultures when we visit or live in them, but others seem to have no such expectation when visiting or living in ours.

    P.S. another culture where using physical attributes to describe someone is acceptable is Mexican culture... To say someone is "gordo" (fat) is not an insult, it's just a fact. For example: "Who gave that to you? Michael did. Who's Michael? Oh, he's the fat guy in our Algebra class.' It's not a insult on Michael, it's just the easiest way to describe him.
  • Yep, being half Korean, I've had to deal with those types of comments from complete strangers when I went with my mom places. It's not really an insult to them... but it hurts us Westerners!
  • seashell99z
    seashell99z Posts: 113 Member
    But you know what...you're here today, doing the right thing. Do not think about it any more.

    Hugs to you!
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
    I got a massage at one of the shopping plazas near home yesterday and the massage lady dared to say -- oh your face so thin - but your body so fat....too bad I had already paid...

    Yeah - guess what - I put all my weight around my hips, butt and thighs. Sir Mix a Lot would love me, but I hate it.

    I spent most of last night crying, as I never get nice comments, and I am so hungry, but I am scared of eating!

    (by the way those in Penrith area NSW/Australia) message me and I'll tell you the place, as you won't want to go there either!

    Post some pics so I can creeper at you and boost that confidence. Although your blue shoulders and blue head make me oh so hot....mmmm
  • sstephanrodriguez
    sstephanrodriguez Posts: 36 Member
    I was going to say the same thing.
  • JanaCanada
    JanaCanada Posts: 917 Member
    With her "people skills", she won;t be in business for long!

    I would have gotten up, looked her straight in the face, and said (loudly), "I want my money back, you rude ignoramous."
  • BalenciaLynn
    BalenciaLynn Posts: 411 Member
    I once was wearing a baby doll maxi dress to work and after helping out this one asian lady for almost half hour she turned to me and was like how far along are you?
    My jaw almost hit the floor, i have never had anyone EVER say that to me before
    Her daughter turned to her and was like "Mother you cant talk to people like that here"
  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
    Some people are dilholes.
  • kerricolby
    kerricolby Posts: 232 Member
    When I was getting measured for a bridesmaid dress the Asian women measuring me told me "It's good that you fat all over. You proportional." This was a good thing because my dress needed less alterations.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Some people are dilholes.

    ^

    The arab guy at the gas station asked me if I was preggo. He was grinning when he said it so I think he was just trying to eff with me. Don't let it get to you. Just do what you do.
  • 84woolf
    84woolf Posts: 153
    I would guess the comment was in part due to cultural reasons...not just Asian.
    Im first generation Canadian & my grandmother is SUPER European (came to the Western world after age 35)- its very normal for people 50+ (not born here) to seem to lack TACT, at the bare minimum & say whatever comes to their minds.

    My own grandmother has casually told me I was getting fat...ha. Ive heard women comment about their husbands not getting it up anymore, that persons haircut is bad, etc. TOTALLY cringeworthy. While I understand its accepted & normal for some people to talk bluntly, & its NOT meant from the point of trying to be malicious - its still super hurtful :(

    I know its hard, but try to shake it off. Clearly that person is lacking a few things upstairs or is at least not on the same wavelength as most people. Keep working hard at your goals & try to brush off these type of things, though I know its hard. All the best!
  • Was she asian? Unfortunately, in a lot of asian cultures, that's perfectly acceptable to say... I'm looking at you, Korea.
    If you are in Latin America, brace yourself too. It's not seen as rude to comment on another person's weight.
  • Promqueen_74932
    Promqueen_74932 Posts: 203 Member
    Hey honey!

    Don't you let what other people say or even think get you down. They don't know where you've been OR what you've been doing to accomplish your goals.
    I have the same problem. I have average face, arms, and legs except where the extra skin likes to "hang out." :ohwell: I have a lot of "fluff" still left in the middle. :indifferent:
    I just always keep in mind that I'm doing the best I can. I have come a LONG ways and I still have some ways to go.

    Keep your head up. *SMILE* all the time! Have FUN! :bigsmile: Eat your daily required calories and keep a normal fitness routine and you will see the weight melt off. Not eating causes the weight to STAY ON. So eat! Eat! EAT!

    *HUGS* You keep doing your best honey!

    Sara
  • You are obviously working on yourself because you are on here, that's what matters. You can't change ignorance so don't try. I wonder what I would have done, probably either cry or punch her in the face LOL.
  • dhakiyya
    dhakiyya Posts: 481 Member
    I would call that salon and tell the manager what happened. Ask for your money back and tell her you'll be letting all your friends know how horrible their service is.

    I agree. I have worked as an English teacher in the Arab world, and it's very important when you work with people of other cultures to know what is and is not appropriate in the culture that you're working in. The manager needs to be aware of this so he or she can stop this person from offending more customers and maybe give cultural sensitivity training to all the staff.

    Plus the fact that the comment ruined your experience so you deserve to get your money back. (make sure you say that in no uncertain terms)

    Also, I'd write rather than call. A letter tends to have more impact than a call or an email.
  • bevfazio
    bevfazio Posts: 25 Member
    You should have told her that you have been trying to gain weight on the head too but it isn't working! We are born in the wrong time. Thanks to skeletal mental images of what is considered beautiful in today's society, we endure the rudeness of other's perceptions of beauty. Focus on health and not thin!
  • jedwardsau
    jedwardsau Posts: 9 Member
    Yep she was Asian. Mainland Chinese.

    Yes stick figures are the norm in the media!

    I'll see if i can find a pic for my profile
  • aStrongerSteph
    aStrongerSteph Posts: 161 Member
    I got a haricut from a new lady about 5 months ago. I told her I wanted a similar style to her's only a bit longer. She tells me "Oh, yes not too short on you. You have the thick neck, the thick body, need the longer hair. I have the thin neck, thin body, I need the shorter hair!" REALLY??? She's lucky she had those scissors and I'm a total doormat and have no nerve to say anything lmbo!