Need some help with Self Sabotage

"Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. CHOOSE YOUR HARD." I've made my decision!!

I think what you're experiencing is very normal. It's what makes losing weight so hard... the behavioral aspects.

I'm a stress eater. One bad week at work and my self-control tends to go out the window for a couple of weeks until I finally drift back onto the wagon. I don't expect to ever get over it, but I am getting better at it. For what it's worth, here's some strategies that have helped me to improve it.

1) Have a mantra: Mine is 'don't turn a slip up into a give up'. I don't know why that one rang true for me, but it did, and it helps. Find yours.

2) Redefine your goal. It should be something along the lines of "healthy and happy" rather than "below 210lbs".

3) Try to redefine your relationship with food. The fact that you used the term "junk food" in your post says a lot. Most people who yo-yo diet have overly strict definitions of what food is 'good' and what is 'bad', and as a result they fall into cyclical patterns of self-punishment when they eat a perceived 'junk food' item. On the contrary, most of the really successful people on mfp have a healthy relationship with food, they allow themselves treats and fast food, just within the boundaries of their daily calorie allowances. I would even go as far as to suggest having a once-weekly meal of something you consider 'junk' to prove to yourself it can be okay and life can go on normally. I had Taco Bell yesterday. It was delicious, and I came in under cals regardless.

4) Try mindful eating. I recommend the book "Savor" by Thich Naht Hahn.

5) Try to develop a love affair with food. It sounds counter intuitive, but the more I dig into culinary arts, the better I find myself eating. You just don't want that frozen pizza when you know you can make a fresh, delicious and nutritious one just as quickly.

6) Remind yourself at least once a week that weight loss is *never* a descending straight-line graph, but it always has jags and peaks. You go up and down, up and down... the trick is to try to keep the *general* trend going down. I'm trying a new strategy where, regardless of my performance during the year, I try to end each year 10lbs lighter than the year before. By having that set point goal, I can swell up in the summer (at least I did this summer) and still end the year on the downward trend.

7) Modify behaviors that put you into contact with your weakness foods. I take a different route home from work so I don't pass any restaurants or gas stations that might tempt me in during a stressful day. And I try not to keep things in the fridge that I know I tend to binge on (sadly, my favorite food - cheese - is one of them.)

8) Don't deny yourself anything. I don't keep cheese in the fridge (see #7 above) but I do let myself have a delish cheese sandwich now and then. nom nom.

9) It helps me to remind myself that I tend to feel better when I'm eating better and working out. And ultimately, isn't that the only reason to do it? Weight loss goals and health or longetivity hopes and dreams have a place, but it's feeling good about yourself each day that really counts. If you can find a way - some kind of personal mental trick - to keep that in your consciousness, then you'll have more success.

10) Build up an awesome wall of supportive mfp friends. Drop anyone who holds beliefs that will steer you towards your own problem areas (such as divisive white/black thinking about "junk" food for instance).

Hope something there helps.

Kidnaping is a crime and is not OK. This should not even be a possibility. Do you have a restraining order? At least are all your friends/family aware of the risk and know what to do should you turn up missing? Yikes. Wishing you the best.