Some posts on MFP are starting to concern me

Ultimately the site is a resource. To be used as each of us sees fit. To ask the questions we want and to interpret the answers the way we want to. I just like the food diary on the iPhone! means I can keep an eye on things, without getting bogged down in the intricacy of a diet - I really don't care how much sodium i'm consuming and whether my carbs to protein ratio is ok or not. I want to know that I'm eating a reasonable amount of calories and if I overdo lunch I can do something about it "off the cuff" at dinner.

If people want to lose weight quickly - their choice. Not ours

Great post and I agree, having tried quick fixes in the past I know eating right and exercising is the only thing that works in the long run. And the reason I want to lose weight is to get healthier. I am working with a group of people right now who are all doing that fad 500 calorie diet and buying some expensive supplement. Since we are all medical professional I questioned them on their terrible approach to weight loss as they should know better. They lose fast but all have gained more back then they lost that went off it. And it isn't a sustainable program. It teaches you nothing. This site is great. I recommended this site to my son and DIL. I hope they join.

My problem is more with people like that drawing others into their game. Things like "Biggest Loser" competitions at work are appalling to me. OK I get that they are trying, but still, really, there's gotta be SOMEONE in the office that has basic nutritional knowledge that will speak up. I know that in my office if they ever tried to start that, I'd smack it down with a vengeance! In fact, I offered (and will be starting after my vacation) a 1/2 hour lunch and learn in my office once every other week covering a different topic every session. The first one will be Basic Nutrition, the second Exercises to keep you healthy in a office environment, it'll get more specific from there. If anyone wants to offer up something like this, I can give you my notes after each one, it's a great thing to do, and you don't need to be an expert to do it, as long as people know you aren't an expert, it's fine to do this stuff, more like communal learning with a team leader than teaching.

It's hard not to get drawn in to the quick fixes. I watch the biggest loser and wonder why it is so bad to only eat 1200 calories and burn 6000 and lose in the double digits each week. This sounded like the miracle cure for me. As you can guess it didn't work . Don't give up on all of us newbies it may take some time but I have learned alot on this site and thanks to people like you I have realized this has to be a life style and is no longer a diet.. P.S. Wish I worked with you I'd give up my lunch break for a little learning...:happy:

A few people in my life have recently lost large amounts of weight quickly. It hurt a bit when they got all the attention for their weight loss and few noticed mine, when i know i'm doing it the proper way, but what do you do (i did not let it get me down and it hasn't changed anything i have done). I hope in a year I'll be the one being asked what i am doing... while that person has either figured out the right way to keep it off or has gained it back. I find short term fast loss SCARY.

I dont want to sound snarky.......but you will have lost and kept off your weight, and they will have regained it. Period.

How many pounds have I lost in my life? 10 in 2 weeks........bam, that dress fit! Yeah! oh wait......20 pound back in 2 months?:noway:

That is exactly how I went from 105 to 175.........10 pounds lost, 20 gained....over and over and over again until I was not moving from the couch, had to roll out of bed and the pharmacuetial companies were getting RICH off of me.

I will take slow and easy (:blushing: in many different ways):laugh:

The fact that I have not only lost the 30 I wanted to, but continue to get healthier, is proof positive that it works!!

Exactly! I tell people all the time that I didn't get to be 286 lbs by not caring! I dieted my way there!

Good one! And Good job in 20 pounds! Your on your way!

Well, here is the deal in my case. I have had lap band surgery. Contrary to what people believe it is no "magic bullet" but a tool. I have had it for 8 yrs.I at one time weighed over 300 pounds. I have kept most of what I lost off. However I am finding that now that I attempting to eat healthier, I can not handle the bulk of healthy food. Chips, cokes and cookies go right down! This is why, thus far, I have lost weight somewhat quickly because I am not able to eat all my food. I have chosen to take weekends off to keep my weight loss from being too fast ( not going crazy) and to keep my metabolism up.

Sorry this is so off the original topic, but peanut butter (and any other nut butter) and milk are healthy calories that don't take up much tummy space. Also, keep in mind you need healthy fats like those in nuts and some oils (olive oil, for example) and those are loaded with calories as well.

In the beginning I was eating 1200 calories (I had A LOT of weight to lose) and I found I was easily satisfied with those 1200. I hit a wall & I have increased my cardio intensity so I have had to force myself to start eating more - now I try for a base of 1350 with 25-50% of my exercise calories (I'm still "obese"). I'm now up to around 1450-1600 calories a day on days I exercise a lot. That's a lot of food, especially for someone who learned how to never be hungry between meals on 1200 calories! :laugh: So, yeah, natural peanut butter is my best friend these days (and yummmm).

Interesting topic. I know for me, I posted once when frustrated that after eating perfect (right on calorie goal) for over a week, I had not really seen a loss that week. I received fabulous advice about how our bodies work and that was just a normal part of the weight loss cycle. I know in the past when putting forth that much effort I had seen much faster results on the scale BUT i had never stuck with it as long as MFP. So while my post may have looked like i was dying for super fast unhealthy weight loss, its not the case. It was just me being suprised with the descrapancy between my effort and the scale number. The support on this site is what kept me on this awesome healthy program. I have not lost as fast as i initially had hoped, but am super pleased with progress none the less and have overcome many hurdles (some emotional eating, checking NI online before eating out, figuring out good restaurant choices, sodium, removing carbs before bed, finding some kickass recipes) and know these changes are for LIFE now. So while some may do it the 'wrong' way, you can only hope they will come back and read as much as I did, and realize what the 'right' way is, cause it does work!.

A few people in my life have recently lost large amounts of weight quickly. It hurt a bit when they got all the attention for their weight loss and few noticed mine, when i know i'm doing it the proper way, but what do you do (i did not let it get me down and it hasn't changed anything i have done). I hope in a year I'll be the one being asked what i am doing... while that person has either figured out the right way to keep it off or has gained it back. I find short term fast loss SCARY.

I totally know that feeling. A few girls in my office were doing those B12 shots and lost weight very quickly and were getting so much attention for it, meanwhile hardly anyone even noticed my weightloss. But now a year later, I am keeping it off and still losing weight, while one of them is pretty much at a standstill as far as I can tell, and the other has actually gained some back I think. So while the inattention hurts at first, it's nice to know that long term, we're doing the right thing.

I realize that this is frustrating, however, we have all been there. Maybe I should not say all, many of us have put stock into the get thin quick thing. How many of us bought the pills, ate the cabbage, or drank the drinks? We now know that the best way to do it is with lowering calories and exercise. We know that logging our food and be honest is the only way to be truly accountable. But not everyone has reached this stage. So how can you punish someone who has simply not gotten to that stage of the game yet. If you are frustrated, don't respond to the posts. I just think that we have to be patient with those that are still learning.

As for the kids on here, I agree, but it is up to MFP to regulate that.

Now see, I disagree with this. MFP is a community. Like any community I consider it my job to offer to help those that I feel are in need of help. In the most positive and constructive way I can, I feel that it's important that we try to explain to people to the best of our ability why they have the wrong idea (in my opinion of course). I realize that almost everyone on here has done it wrong in the past (myself included), but I also know that if someone I trusted and thought was knowledgeable came to me and said, "this is why I think you should change how you're doing it..." I would have listened, and probably taken the advice. It should be noted that, I'm not forcing my views on anyone, but when you post in a public forum, you should (as I am) be prepared to take criticism. If you don't want constructive criticism, then you should post a blog about it where you can delete replies that you don't like.

NOW

whether they take that advice is another matter, as the saying goes, "you can lead a horse to water..." and that's fine, but again, my issue is that many (newbies) don't yet get the concept of communal support with weight loss, and some may see those posts about fast weight loss as acceptable just because they have been posted on this site. And that is bad to me.

I think that we actually agree with each other. What I was trying to say is if it frustrates you don't reply, it ends up becoming negative and in my experiece people will not listen. But, offering positive and constructive advice and information is the only way that we can educate the others who are still learning.

Great topic! Lots of good conversation brought to mind three points in this thread with Suggestions for Mike:bigsmile: :


1) People are always going to post about quick and easy weight loss - I think the problem stems from the ones who reply to those posts by encouraging that behaviour. It would be hard to moderate those opinions but ... Suggestion for Mike: maybe it would be helpful to have a short paragraph up front - on the homepage and/or maybe on the community landing page that talks about how the goal of MFP is to help promote healthy lifestyle and nutrtion goals and to support one another by encouraging those behaviours that will sustain those goals for the long term. Just to set the tone

The other side of that is that when people first come on to MFP - they don't know who "the experts" are. I see a lot of people on MFP who state information as if it is fact when in reality - I know it's not.

2) Suggestion for Mike: Maybe rather than Moderators, he could set up a category of MFP Mentors where that title could show on their avatar. These would be folks who have been around for at least 1 year and have a history of solid advice or background - apply and be granted Mentor status by Mike.

**I've especially noticed a disturbing trend with my friends. When someone logs in and it says they were "under their calorie goal," they receive lauds and accolades. I thought the idea was to remain within a few calories of your goal, and that eating healthily was the main objective. It seems that we're promoting calorie deficits.

3) I like the Newsfeed status updates, but ....Suggestion for Mike: perhaps the wording needs a little tweeking "paddlemom completed her food and exercise diary for 03/24/2010 and was with her target calorie range" or "paddlemom completed her food and exercise diary for 03/24/2010 and may need some encouragement to stay with her target calorie range"

BTW Huge thanks to all those who have stuck around this site for the long term to provide their support and wisdom. I know it has made a huge difference for me - kind of like belonging to a family :flowerforyou:

Great Suggestions :flowerforyou:

Maybe those of us that know better should quickly post the links to "The Threads at the top of the Message boards". I know for me reading those and many others, helped me become familiar with the more "experienced MFPers". They taught me so much more about calories, metabolism and eating exercise calories. :flowerforyou:

I am so glad I read this! I am new and I am committed to making myself healthy AND losing weight! While I've been using the tools and trying to get involved with friends and the message boards I didn't know to read through the recommended reading posts on the boards. Wow! What a change to my perspective! When I started I told myself I wouldn't get on the scale everyday and I wasn't going to be super hard on myself over calories, but as I've continued I've already let myself become focused on the number on the scale (while I've been losing water weight!), which causes me to want to reduce my calories even more, creating a vicious cycle. I've even been guilty of cheering others on for being under their calorie goal. I've lost track of the original goal which was to become healthy! So, I'm only going to step on the scale once a week and I'm going to devote more energy to making sure I'm eating "good" foods rather than making sure I eat fewer calories. I have been abusing my body with food for years, I'm going to have to accept that correcting the problem is going to take a long time and be an ongoing process. Thanks for opening my eyes!

"I can only speak for myself but as to that, I am worried that we will start drawing the wrong kind of person to this forum"

Who decided what the wrong kind of person is? Furthermore who decided myfitnesspal is primarily for healthy weight loss/lifestyle?

When I joined up my primary concern was weight loss... and in a hurry. I didn't carry about healthy lifestyle at that point. So I guess I'm the wrong kind of person.

A year later and I've definitely changed my tune. But if my 'sort', you know, the WRONG KIND, weren't allowed to join then I wouldn't be here at all and I wouldn't have learned all that I learned while browsing this forum.

So, I took the "wrong kind" to mean a person who doesn't give a damn about their health -- they just want to be skinny at any and all costs. The kind of person who will go around posting on the forums they've had tons of success & lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks eating nothing but air & exercising like a maniac. The kind of person who, despite all the information available to the contrary, spreads horrible ideas and misinformation to others who are too naive to know that's incredibly unhealthy and that there is a much better and healthy way to go about weight loss. The kind of person who refuses to learn.

And I have to say I definitely don't understand your argument about whether or not MFP is designed to promote healthy weight loss/lifestyle. If MFP promoted unhealthy weight loss (starving yourself, for example), that not only creates huge social/ethical//whatever problems, but also legal problems. So, I'm betting the creators of the site (Mike & Al) would like MFP to be viewed as promoting only healthy weight loss.

Read a little deeper and you'll realize you are exactly the "sort" of person that Banks is trying to HELP (and probably, with your tune change, HAS helped). You came here not knowing any better -- and now you know. :flowerforyou:

Couldn't agree with you more!!! Thanks for putting it out there for all to see.

I had also noticed a slight increase in the amount of "quick fix/loss" posts. I read some of them, and once in a while found myself questioning my plan. :noway: But I just review where I came from and where I need to be.

In a couple of weeks I will have been here a year. I only had 25 or so pounds to loose when I started. I thought I could do that by October --HA! I could have, if I gave up things I liked to eat completely and devoted my life to living in a gym. I knew from experience that was not going to happen -- and even if it did, I could not keep it up once I reached my goal. I read the threads, and paid attention to the ones that made sense -- and had some knowledge backing them up. (thanks Banks! :flowerforyou: ) I realized that having a "small amount" to loose (incomparison to some) meant the journey would be a little more difficult than I had anticipated. And most likely longer. October came and went -- I was closer, but not there. I did not give up. I have continued the plan I put in place. I am now as they say "within spitting distance" of my goal. I feel great, I am signed up for my first 5K charity walk at the end of April. And what I learned here has helped me set my mother on her path.

I will make my goal -- it took a year, but I can maintain this within the life strructure I lead. And that is what is important.

just a wonderful story. And thank you for the credit, but it's not needed, YOU did the work, and YOU came to the realizations you needed to in order to be healthy! So YOU take all the credit. Great job JJ! Walk that 5K, and I expect to see you running the next one

-Banks

Sort of reminded me of my story- I've been on MFP over a year now- never left- and even in the year I've been here things have changed. Anyhow, this is a link of "my story" that I posted on my 1 year MFP anniversary- certainly no "short term success", but absolutely a success.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/86653-not-your-traditional-success-story?hl=not+your+traditional+success+story#posts-1194412

I have mixed feelings about this because I am relatively "new" compared to many people on the board, and because I have lost what could be considered a large amount of weight in a short time. So my first thought is to be offended, but then I realize that I do not have the mindset that you're talking about, and that I try my hardest not to fall into the trap of reinforcing the negative behaviors and ideas of others. If anyone were to ask my backstory, they would know that I began calorie counting originally because of illness - I wasn't eating enough due to medical issues and I was scared that I was harming my body so I began researching calorie counters that I could take with me on my phone, to make sure I was getting AT LEAST 1200 calories a day to sustain myself. As I got healthier, started eating regularly, and put a bit of the weight I lost back on, I decided I wanted to continue to try to get healthy so that I could keep myself from getting ill again. So, while my weightloss may look large (30 pounds in about 2.5 months), and my goals may look unattainable, it is my right (at almost 30 years old) to choose at which level I want to push my body and what timeline I'd like to do it in. I am the only one that knows what I am capable of. If anyone specifically asks me for advice (which multiple people have) I let them know all of this upfront, and tell them what my backstory is. I let them know that I try to eat ALL of my calories and most of my exercise calories, and end it with the caveat that if I feel like I've gotten healthy enough before I reach my goal, I'll stop losing.

All of that being said, I have stopped congratulating people on being under their calorie goal because I did some snooping and looked at their diaries and realized that their calorie goal was set at around 1200... I would NEVER congratulate anyone on that. I would, however, like the option to congratulate someone who came within 50 calories of their goal, or 100 calories of their goal, whatever the reasonable amount may be. Also, I will always try to word my responses carefully when someone talks about foods/exercises/etc. that will allow them to reach goals which I think are unattainable or unhealthy. Attacking someone is rarely the answer.

Furthermore, I have a HUGE problem with children being on this website. Not just because I will NEVER, EVER encourage a teenager to diet, but because I think that a teenage girl coming on an internet forum, promoting that she is underage is a safety concern for the girl. Although most of us that post here are considerate of other people's best interests, we cannot guarantee that there aren't creeps lurking here, looking to exploit children. I think if someone states that they are actually under 18 or posts pictures of themselves showing that their age is questionable, or gives out personal or identifying information, they should immediately be blocked. I would hate to think that I was a participant in an activity that harmed a child.

And finally, I worked in the school system as a tutor/mentor and (of all things) a cheerleading coach for multiple years. I think it is a parent's job, or a doctor's job, or a nutritionists job, or a school's job to promote healthy lifestyle and eating/exercise habits for a child - not a stranger on an internet forum. I am extremely bothered by the young girls on the site who have goals set for themselves putting them at low body fat percentages, or in the underweight BMI categories. Many of them also have pictures of their "ideal" body shape on their profiles and these images are usually of famous people or other stock modeling images showing people at unhealthy weights. Disordered thinking is rampant among teenagers (boys and girls), with most modeling their behavior after their parents. If your 13 year old says she needs to go on a diet, perhaps she is following your lead. Watch what you say and what you do around your children, or the children that you care for, please.

Message to teenagers: eat fruits, eat vegetables, eat whole grains, eat lean meats and dairy, and eat enough of them to satisfy you. Cut back on the amount of processed foods and added sugar, without depriving yourself of enjoying food, and keep active. If you have questions or concerns about your weight, ask an adult you trust at home, at school, or at your doctor's office to help guide you in making healthy food choices. Your body has not stopped growing yet and there is no telling how you may change before you develop into adulthood. If you try to "diet" now, you may harm your body in ways that will stay with you for the rest of your life. End of lecture.

The sad part is that the people who need the message most, will not read this thread.