Well that's depressing: When your pet was dying...

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  • krash999
    krash999 Posts: 476 Member
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    i just buried my mothers cat of 16 1/2 years earlier this week. it was very difficult...
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    I appreciated a card... I liked that someone thought enough about me to pick out a card for something that other people might find trivial. :smile:

    What I find personally comforting is reminding myself what a good life I helped give that pet, and that there was nothing anyone could have done to make things turn out differently. I did everything I could to keep him/her happy and comfortable as long as I could.
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
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    I appreciated a card... I liked that someone thought enough about me to pick out a card for something that other people might find trivial. :smile:

    What I find personally comforting is reminding myself what a good life I helped give that pet, and that there was nothing anyone could have done to make things turn out differently. I did everything I could to keep him/her happy and comfortable as long as I could.

    Simple but good. I think this is great advice.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    I'm not a deeply religious person...but when we had to put our dog down a few years ago, the vet sent us a card signed by every one & it contained a card with "The Rainbow Bridge" poem on it:



    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
    There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
    There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
  • Shua89
    Shua89 Posts: 144 Member
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    Really nothing makes someone feel better except understanding that this pet is/was a part of the family and that the heartbreak they are experiencing is real. The worst thing you can say is "it's just a dog". It's not just a dog, it's a cherished and beloved member of the family and their passing leaves a big hole.
  • RubyRed8067
    RubyRed8067 Posts: 301
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    When my parents lost their beloved GSD mix at 5 years old after he became paralyzed, I put together a photo book for them. They told me it was the nicest thing someone could have done because they could look back at all of the pictures of him in happier times.

    ^^^^This*****
  • hypotrochoid
    hypotrochoid Posts: 842 Member
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    My friend got me this book when my puppy died: http://www.amazon.com/Legend-Rainbow-Bridge-William-Britton/dp/0976472481/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1354918005&sr=8-6&keywords=the+rainbow+bridge+book

    Another friend got me this book: http://www.amazon.com/Ill-Always-Love-Hans-Wilhelm/dp/0517572656/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354918130&sr=1-1&keywords=i'll+always+love+you+children's+book

    Both were thoughtful and helped, though I still tear up when reading them.
  • KrazyAsianNic
    KrazyAsianNic Posts: 1,227 Member
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    There really is nothing I can think of. My dog passed away just over a year ago. It was hard to watch him die and harder to have him gone. Nothing made me feel better.

    It was even worse when my guinea pig died. I had adopted him and we just pasted our 1 year mark. My boyfriend took care of him since I moved to finish college. I had to give my permission over the phone to put him down because he had some type of throat cancer and they couldn't even force feed him. I wouldn't let him starve. I still cry sometimes when I see his picture, or randomly hear him.

    Best thing I think to do is just be there for the person. Let the use your shoulder to dry their tears. I would have liked if we had some type of small ceremony for either of my pets...
  • Becky388
    Becky388 Posts: 157 Member
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    A friend sent me a sympathy card with Rainbow Bridge wrote in it and my mom bought a a little stepping stone/headstone marker.
    Worst - it's just an animal, it wasn't like it was a person.
  • thedreamhazer
    thedreamhazer Posts: 1,156 Member
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    Worst - it's just an animal, it wasn't like it was a person.

    :noway:
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    This thread has me in tears...

    I love the rainbow bridge poem and website, gets me every time.
    I know my Blackie is there waiting for me.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    this is what I am going through....... can't add much...... not much makes me feel better.... except time....... maybe a keepsake of some kind...... paw print with a photo? whatever you do don't get them all dogs go to heaven or old yeller.

    *hug*
  • AddieOverhaul
    AddieOverhaul Posts: 734 Member
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    Really nothing makes someone feel better except understanding that this pet is/was a part of the family and that the heartbreak they are experiencing is real. The worst thing you can say is "it's just a dog". It's not just a dog, it's a cherished and beloved member of the family and their passing leaves a big hole.

    ^^This.

    Two of the three saddest things I've experienced was losing pets. The other was my grandpa. Pets really are family members to most people.

    I had one cat that we had to put down. He was very old and got sick and was in pain. My mom and I went together as he had been the family cat. It was really hard and we both just sat in the car and cried and hugged after. I was prepared for that one, so even though it was hard and horribly sad, I handled it pretty well. As a family we just talked about him and told stories and I wrote a poem.

    My other cat who was the first pet I had as an adult that was all mine, died suddenly in her sleep at the age of 5. I found her when I got home from work and it was such a shock I was hysterical. I called my mom and cried and told her she was dead. She immediately drove over to my place, bundled up my cat, told me to pack an overnight bag, and took me to her house, with the body in a box in the trunk. She made me tea, consoled me and took the body to the vet to be cremated. This helped immensely as I just couldn't deal with it at the time. She also got them to do a ceramic pawprint so I have a keepsake. I keep it in a drawer and look at it occasionally because it makes me sad so I don't display it.

    I couldn't go home to my empty apartment so I stayed with my mom for two nights. My friend came over and had tea with me and just let me cry and talk about her and how much I would miss her. A couple people gave me cards and that was very appreciated.

    However, I had a coworker who told me to "get over it, it's just a cat" which of course led to me bawling in the bathroom for 15 minutes. I hated her for that (among other things).

    So, in summary, a memento, listening, validating her feelings and offering to do anything you can to help. If your friend has to put the dog down, maybe offer to drive as she probably won't be able to, or something like that. Good for you for being such a good friend.
  • xaniza
    xaniza Posts: 250 Member
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    Corny but she may like it.



    RainbowBridge.com

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

    Author unknown...

    My friend sent this to me when my dog passed away... I still miss her terribly, it's been 6 months and it's just not the same w/o her around. /hugs for you during this tough time :(
  • hellraisedfire
    hellraisedfire Posts: 403 Member
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    I took my mom's dog to the vet for him to be put down... The vet is a family friend of ours. The conversation went something like this.

    Vet- "When I give him the, you know... the shot, you might want to stand back, I think demons might shoot out of this dog."

    *after he does it he hugs my mom and tells her he's with my dad now (dad died a long time ago)*

    My mom bursts into tears and says something like, "all he gets to eat now is Eggo waffles!"
    (all my dad could really cook was waffles without lighting the house on fire)

    ...and people wonder why I don't really come out from under my rock...:huh:
  • NatashaShen
    NatashaShen Posts: 295 Member
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    OK, I read as many of the posts as I could but now I can't stop crying.

    I was 19yrs old when we had to put down my kitty. He was 13 yrs old and my baby. My mom already had her dog in a pet cemetery, so we put my cat there too. Family members who didn't even really like the cat all came for a little 'burial ceremony'. It meant a lot.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I lost my sweet little 6 year old cat to leukemia less than 2 weeks ago. Knowing that my friends understood my pain meant the world to me.

    This is from my blog:

    When a loved one passes away, we expect the world to stop, because our world has. It almost seems disrespectful that people go on with their lives, laughing and fighting and ****ing, as if everything hasn't changed forever, when for us, it has.

    When a beloved animal dies, there is no gathering of loved ones to mourn the loss. No ceremony. No commiseration and bittersweet reminiscence. There are apologies from compassionate friends, but mostly, we are left to grieve alone. Because they lived with us, there is not a square inch of our homes that doesn't remind of our lost companions. We are mired in memories. We sometimes see them in periphery in a familiar place, where they would spend hours, curled up and cozy, safe and loved.

    In time, the wound heals, but the scar tissue is always tender, always delicate, and always easily opened again. Today, I miss the sweetest, gentlest, most unabashedly loving creature I have ever known.

    And my heart is broken.
  • anifani4
    anifani4 Posts: 457 Member
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    Hugs helped a lot when my dog passed...this was over 20 years ago. She was the only dog I'd ever had and probably ever will have. A yellow lab. Also talking about her with anyone who knew her and reviewing memories of her life was comforting to me.
  • crazytreelady
    crazytreelady Posts: 752 Member
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    Leave them alone if they have a very special bond with their animal.


    I like to be left alone, so I can spend as much time praising and loving my pet as possible in their short amount of time left.


    **Completely based on personal experience though.**
  • lilmisfit
    lilmisfit Posts: 860 Member
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    I lost my sweet little 6 year old cat to leukemia less than 2 weeks ago. Knowing that my friends understood my pain meant the world to me.

    This is from my blog:

    When a loved one passes away, we expect the world to stop, because our world has. It almost seems disrespectful that people go on with their lives, laughing and fighting and ****ing, as if everything hasn't changed forever, when for us, it has.

    When a beloved animal dies, there is no gathering of loved ones to mourn the loss. No ceremony. No commiseration and bittersweet reminiscence. There are apologies from compassionate friends, but mostly, we are left to grieve alone. Because they lived with us, there is not a square inch of our homes that doesn't remind of our lost companions. We are mired in memories. We sometimes see them in periphery in a familiar place, where they would spend hours, curled up and cozy, safe and loved.

    In time, the wound heals, but the scar tissue is always tender, always delicate, and always easily opened again. Today, I miss the sweetest, gentlest, most unabashedly loving creature I have ever known.

    And my heart is broken.

    This is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. {{{HUGS}}} I lost my sweet baby girl, EQ (kitty) 6 days ago and the only things really helping me right now are hugs, putting together pictures/memorials, and talking about her with whomever will listen. I would love to receive cards as well, but so far have only gotten one from the crematory where she was sent and that made me burst into tears because I thought it was a Christmas card.

    OP: Just be patient with your friend and allow her to talk about her fur baby as much as she needs to. Our pets are such an important part of our lives and our family that it's only natural to grieve.

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