"Don't lose anymore weight"

I feel like a lot of us get this when we reach a certain point. Does anyone else get a bit, I'm not sure if this is the right word, but sad when they hear that?

I went to the doctor today, who has known me/handled me since I was only weeks old. I'm freshly 20, well somewhat.. (Birthday: October) and she's seen me at my highest weights. I have been 235 highest, maybe higher but give or take a few pounds in middle school. Lost some weight, gained it back in high school topping in 213 my senior year. (Last Feb, 2011) I started a new leaf from then. I've always hated my body because I'd get made fun of, had the older sister who was both pretty and "nicely shaped" (thin) and was always the opposite. I'd also get called ugly which is a whole different complex/issue that I can only respond to saying "I don't like how I look"

I went today, almost two years later from 213, weighing in at 150, (although saturday I was 149) and I'm 5'7. The secretary and my doctor were both shocked to see me and immediately said, "Don't lose anymore weight, absolutely no more. No more!'

And I felt myself getting upset because I am not satisfied with the weight/how I look now. Give and take if I had a certain body type or muscle mass the scale wouldn't matter and it doesn't truly, but I'm not down to the size I am comfortable at yet.

My question is, what, if you've gone through this, how do you feel when you have these things said to you? I truthfully felt like I wanted to have a break down because I don't see what others see.
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Replies

  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
    Personally, I ignore it. I got this a lot too, and it didn't really affect me one way or another - I just don't care what other people think. I know what weight feels good on me, and so that's where I want to be.

    Coming from a doctor it may be different, but they are used to seeing not only you overweight, but 100s of other people as well. Their views are skewed. 150 lbs at 5'7" is not underweight, so you are just fine.

    Keep doing what you are doing, and congratulations. I'm sure you feel great. That's all that matters.
  • realme56
    realme56 Posts: 1,093 Member
    Lots of people say I shouldn't lose more but I am still180 at 5'4" size 10-12 and I do want to lose more, my body is stubborn but I am going to keep trying
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
    If you don't like how you LOOK, why are you hung up on a number on the SCALE? Don't worry about what the scale says, throw it away. Focus on strength training gaining definition and muscle. You will probably weight more, but you will like how look better.
  • soleilxo
    soleilxo Posts: 202
    IGNORE THEM THEY ARE *kitten*. i get this wayyyyyy too often and it is so frustrating and makes me so angry. Literally, everyone in my life right now are going against what I am trying to do and i cant handle it. YOU create your body no one should tell you what you should look like based on what they think. They don't matter, its all up to you and you decide for yourself. Continue doing what you are doing.

    DONT let them stop you from looking your best! seriously!
  • Great job with your weight loss. You should be proud of your accomplishment.

    You did not state a reason why the doctor told you to lose any more weight. If you doctor is stating you have reached your goal there must be a reason. It is real hard to see how beautiful you have become when you lose a lot of weight. I know because I have that problem myself. I keep thinking that there is more that I can do even though my weight is now within a reasonable range for my age and height. You might want to take a period of reflection to figure out what you want to change and why you want to change your body. If you are anything like me you think you can get to perfect. Nobody's body is perfect. However, there is no reason to be perfectly happy at where you body is now. Celebrate your health.
  • TommiEgan
    TommiEgan Posts: 256 Member
    Congrats on your weight loss!

    I get this alot. Especially since I was always a bit pudgy and now I am getting towards the thin market. I have been told at work that I am wasting away, getting too thin, I will be falling out of my clothes etc. I have been told not to get any skinnier but I suppose you are only happy when you get to where you want. I have another few kgs to go but I won't hear the end of it.
  • Honey7c70
    Honey7c70 Posts: 5 Member
    I'm 5'8" and weigh 136 lbs. I feel comfortable between 134 and 136. I think you need to be comfortable with yourself but I think your goals need to be realistic too. I still think I have some areas that can be trimmed a little more, but I know that is just me letting my mind go crazy. My friends tell me I workout too much, but I must say I feel guilty when I don't workout, but I also know my body needs to have a break from working out every once in a while. My original goal was 146-150, but I got lower than I intended. Now I am happy where I am at, but I know that I can't loss anymore weight if I want to stay healthy both physically and mentally. Just know...we all judge ourselves the hardest.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I'm 5'7" and 130 pounds and I was just at the doctor yesterday, where they said I was a nice, healthy weight and all my numbers looked great. I think your doctor/nurses are just used to seeing you heavy. In this case, it sounds like their opinions are personal, not professional. People are more comfortable with what they know. Your change freaked them out. I say ignore it, unless your doctor gave you a specific medical reason why you shouldn't. A doctor who didn't know you would not tell you that you've gone too far! You ARE at a fine weight for your height, but you could also stand to lose more IF that's what YOU want. :flowerforyou:
  • redheadmommy
    redheadmommy Posts: 908 Member
    If it had come from anybody else, I would say ignore it. However since it come from a medical doctor, maybe you should think about it. You are obviously not overweight anymore. If you do not like how you look, maybe toning up strength training is the answer and not weigh lossd.
  • What could be happening is that you are eating on plan as you report, it's just that the plan contains more calories than you need to lose weight. To lose weight you must consume fewer calories than you burn no matter how much exercise you do.
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
    Unless the doctor gave you a medical reason why you shouldn't lose anymore weight apart from pure aesthetics and their perception of you before, you should be fine to carry on losing as long as you're doing it healthily and are aiming for a healthy weight/BMI there should be no reason a doctor should not be supportive of you aiming for a bmi in the low 20's if that's your goal, I would understand if you were aiming for a BMI of under 20 why there may be some concern unless you're a petite frame. If this doctor is trying to put you off losing more just because of their perception of a healthy weight for you rather than being able to lose as much as you need before you're comfortable within the spectrum of healthy weights for your height that is very unproffessional.

    Good luck and don't let these naysayers derail you if you're doing this thing healthily. xxxx
  • johloz
    johloz Posts: 176 Member
    IGNORE THEM THEY ARE *kitten*. i get this wayyyyyy too often and it is so frustrating and makes me so angry. Literally, everyone in my life right now are going against what I am trying to do and i cant handle it. YOU create your body no one should tell you what you should look like based on what they think. They don't matter, its all up to you and you decide for yourself. Continue doing what you are doing.

    DONT let them stop you from looking your best! seriously!

    Seriously? Calling her doctor an *kitten*? Yeah, ignore it if it comes from your fat friends, but if I doctor says she needs to stop losing weight, she should stop losing weight.

    To the OP, if you're not happy with the way your body looks, start strength training and eat at maintenance. You won't lose weight, just as your Dr. advised you not to, but this will reshape and tighten your body, which I'm sure is what you're really after.
  • Vyshness8699
    Vyshness8699 Posts: 390 Member
    People everyday I dnt need to lose anymore weight I went from 183lb -132 lbs this past summer and I want to lose 7 more lbs ppl tell me I'm crazy or you're too skinny ,you wnt look right I dnt listen to it ...You're doing this for YOU AND YOU ONLY!! DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY !!!
  • catbrand
    catbrand Posts: 227 Member
    I'm 5'7 too and my goal weight is 140. I'm currently around 158, but I know my goal weight could change as I have started weight training. In the last 6 months I haven't lost any weight, but I have dropped a jeans size, so I'm getting less worried about losing weight, although I'd still like to lose a bit more.

    I totally agree with what others have said, unless you were given a specific medical reason not to lose more weight, you carry on until you are comfortable with your weight. Or better yet ask your Dr why you shouldn't lose more. See what she says.

    I get told I shouldn't lose any more and I find it so frustrating, I'm down from 245 (so similar to yourself) and people have seen me quite alot heavier than I am now. I think people think I should just be happy with what I've achieved and leave it at that. But when I say I've still got a wobbly belly I want to get rid of I've actually had people tell me I'm wrong. Short of actually flopping it out infront of everyone, I'm not sure what I can do to convince them so I just smile and nod.
  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
    It actually makes me really upset when people tell me this because there are so many areas of my body that I am unhappy with. I could understand if I was super thin and looked anorexic or unhealthy but I definitely have quite a bit of thickness left on me. I want to be able to wear a bikini but at this point, I can't. It irritates me when people tell me what to do with MY body when I'm clearly healthy. When I was overweight and unhealthy no one had anything to say!!! I know it gets annoying and can sometimes be hurtful but just ignore it and keep doing what you're doing. It's YOUR body, YOUR life, and YOUR happiness.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    Yes, at 5'8" and my new weight of 129 I get the "Don't lose anymore weight" thing. Until I went to my performing arts doctor for my check in. More strength training is in my future and I am still, with my bone structure, in a very healthy weight range. There is "healthy" and there is "fit" ... I want to be healthy and fit.

    Yes, you may not NEED to lose any more weight to me the requirements for "healthy" but it is beyond ok to want to be more toned and strong... and if you want to lose to a weight that allows you to build muscle in a manner you feel you look better and feel better about, just do it. And get a doctor who treats adults primarily.

    Congrats, OP, on your very successful journey so far - I see fitness just like I see my business skills - always room for improvement, sometimes it is losing excess fat, then you move on to gaining strength and toning...
  • Lyra89
    Lyra89 Posts: 674 Member
    I ignore it...I hear it ALL the time, and I'm by no means 'skinny'.

    I'm 5'5 and now weigh in the 123lb-128lb range most of the time, and I was assured by my doctor that this is the ultimate ideal weight for a girl of my height and age.

    There are actresses my height who weigh about 110lbs or 115lbs and they are considered to be some of the sexiest women alive lol...I don't let that make me feel 'fat', nor do I let the people who tell me I'm too small make me feel 'skinny'.

    I'm healthy...THAT is ALL that matters :smile: :smile: x
  • LTGPSA
    LTGPSA Posts: 633 Member
    I get this from people too, and like others before me have said - I ignore them. When I began this journey, I looked at what the healthy weight ranges are for my height 5'6" and from there set my (what turned out to be my 1st) goal (140) in the middle-ish of the range. After I got there, I decided - you know what, I'm going to keep going and see what happens (I wasn't quite happy on looking in the mirror). I'm now 10 lbs lighter and still well within the weight range (not at the bottom of it; nor do I strive to be). One site shows me at my "ideal weight" for my height. Anyway, all the number stuff aside, I can look at myself in the mirror and know for fact that I'm nowhere in danger of anorexia, etc. - to me, I look healthy - which is exactly what I was aiming for.

    Like other posters have said, people were used to seeing "the previous you". Given time, they will adapt to "the new and improved you". As long as you have your head on straight and aren't going for the bone-rack look, don't give them a second thought; meaning if you were compromising your health by heading in a dangerous direction - then I'd say listen.

    The one thing that surprises and disappoints me is your doctor's reaction. Doctors are trained professionals and should know the numbers - or if they don't do their research before proclaiming "no more weight loss". Why would they not promote optimum size / health for all? Better for your joints, organs, etc. Oh wait, then you might not get sick as often...Ooohhhhh.

    Have a great day everyone! :flowerforyou:
  • Reptileszz
    Reptileszz Posts: 47 Member
    I would ignore them. Unless the doctor can tell you a medical reason for not losing any more weight or something. My thought on this is that people get used to looking at you a certain way and then are shocked when you come in looking thinner/different and the shock is too much for them. Doctors included.

    And I hear that I am too skinny all the time. What I am is fit. People are not used to looking at fit people these days since there are so many unfit ones out there (I think anyway)
  • jrutledge01
    jrutledge01 Posts: 213 Member
    don't ignore them, but also don't worry about how many pounds you weigh

    get a relatively accurate body fat % measurement (at your weight/height, calipers will do) and use that as your baseline instead of your weight

    somewhere between 15-24% puts you in the range of athletic/fit for women (according to my first google result, i am not a doctor)
  • I completely understand where you're coming from! friends and family say it to me.. but I'm not at the size I want to be yet. I don't hate my body anymore, but I'm not 100% happy either.. Also it's not just about losing weight I want to feel healthy!!
  • jennkain97
    jennkain97 Posts: 290 Member
    What could be happening is that you are eating on plan as you report, it's just that the plan contains more calories than you need to lose weight. To lose weight you must consume fewer calories than you burn no matter how much exercise you do.

    what in the world does this have to do with the original post?
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    Given your age and that you hate your body they are probably just concerned about your potential for an eating disorder. I'm pretty sure if you talk to your doctor about HOW you are losing weight he will see that it's a healthy thing and be less dramatic. You should still be able to lose some and stay in a healthy range, but if they haven't seen you in a while and the change came as a shock to them they are probably just worried about your methods, especially if they have seen you struggle for several years in the past. In general I just ignore people who say things like that, or give them the standard "I'm sorry you feel that way" response. I consider weight a personal decision, but a lot of people don't have that boundary.
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    I get so tired of the people who always try to police everyone else's bodies. Yes, EVEN doctors. Just because they are a doctor does not mean they necessarily know what is right for you. I say, as long as you are healthy and going about weight loss in a constructive way and have a goal within healthy range for your height/age, then do what you want with YOUR body. :flowerforyou:
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    Well dear, I know where you are coming from. I had a host of people telling me that crap a few months ago. I even had a few people suggest I gain a few pounds. It was very upsetting to me because I looked in the mirror and did not see the fitness model body that I so desperately want to have. I would read on the forums about other people hearing the same thing and would read all the comments like, screw them, its your body, do what you want, and so on, so I decided that haters gonna hate and I would stay on my path.

    Last month I went to get a keratin treatment and we took before and after shots for my stylists facebook page. I was HORRIFIED at what I saw in those pictures. I saw a girl that looked like death. I was to thin, not only did I not need to lose anymore weight, I needed to gain it. Simple fact of the matter is, the mental aspect of me not feeling perfect (or those darn fitness model pics) kept me very sick in the head thinking that I had to look a certain way to be happy. Not true.

    I took a month off of logging from here and gained some weight, as a matter of fact, I gained a little bit more than necessary and I am going to enjoy working out to firm and tone.

    Here is a fact, if you do not believe in your doctor or the things he tells you, change doctors. The people on this site do not earn a PHD from posting countless posts on their opinion on how others should live.

    Be healthy. Eat healthy and exercise. Do not deny yourself. You have a long life ahead of you and if you do it right, it will be a good one.

    Congratulations on your weight loss. That is a big freaking deal. You rock!

    If you ever need someone to talk to about body image, feel free to contact me. If you look at my pictures you will see what I look like, and know that I was still not happy with my body in those pics. That was a Lesa brain problem, not a Lesa body problem.
  • johloz
    johloz Posts: 176 Member
    I get so tired of the people who always try to police everyone else's bodies. Yes, EVEN doctors. Just because they are a doctor does not mean they necessarily know what is right for you. I say, as long as you are healthy and going about weight loss in a constructive way and have a goal within healthy range for your height/age, then do what you want with YOUR body. :flowerforyou:

    Not saying Dr.'s are always correct, but the assumption that "only you know what's right for you" is incredibly flawed. If we intuitively knew what was right for our bodies, we wouldn't develop eating disorders. I have seen on this site and in life many women who are obsessed with losing more weight who are already underweight. We do not have the best opinions on our own bodies and health. If you are concerned that your doctor may be incorrect, address this issue with him or her, don't just ignore the advice because you think you know better.
  • mauswood
    mauswood Posts: 137 Member
    I've totally gotten that from people - saying I'm wasting away to nothing - which is totally NOT the case in any way shape or form - but they're all used to seeing me at a much higher weight. As long as you stay within a healthy weight range there is not problem with losing more weight. Just make sure you're incorporating lots of strength training/toning in the process. I wish I had done much more of that with my initial weight loss - I think then my body would be much closer to what I want it to look like if I had done more with weights earlier on. But either way - congrats on your loss - and unless you get under a healthy weight just keep pushing towards your goals! :)
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Doctors are just people. And doctor's secretaries are just people. The ultimate "compliment" these days to people who are successful at losing weight is "don't lose anymore weight." Unless he gave you a medical reason to not lose anymore, just take it for what it probably was, your doctor's feeble and rote attempt at a compliment. My guess it was something like "you look great! you don't need to lose anymore....." or "wow, what a transformation...Don't lose anymore weight, okay?" I think it's just a thing.

    That, and have you seen the number of overweight doctors? I've had doctors be 50+ pounds overweight before. My OB was a good 50 pounds overweight and giving me weight gain/loss advice during my last pregnancy. When I went in for a medical situation a few months later, he'd lost all that weight and was not so much on the "don't lose anymore" bandwagon anymore. Apparently, HIS doctor told him he had HBP and his cholesterol was out of control. They're just people.
  • I think you should seek out a new doctor. You obviously don't trust the medical advice of this one.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    Ignore them. Unless you are heading for seriously underweight, no issue on keep on losing til you are happy.
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