thoughts on skinnyfat--men specifically but all welcome

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brandi797
brandi797 Posts: 8
in Motivation and Support
So, I am 5'6" and weigh currently weigh about 117-120lbs. My maximum weight was reached in 1995, at which time I weighed 196lbs, and resorted to wearing mens clothes because I was too ashamed to walk into Lane Bryant. I have been losing weight steadily over the past several years, mainly secondary to reducing my alcohol consumption

I joined MFP a few months ago; my starting weight at that time was 126lbs. I joined mainly because I was experiencing significant gastrointestinal problems to the point where I could not join my friends and family at restaurants; the abdominal pain was so severe there were days I could barely eat anything, and I was afraid to be more than a few feet away from a bathroom.

My goal joining MFP was not to lose weight, but to assess the nutritional content of the foods I ate, and I learned I was severely deficient in potassium, vitamin A, calcium and fiber. I have since made alterations in my diet to meet my nutritional goals have completely resolved the GI issues, and I can now have a normal life.

I now wear a size 2-4; in addition, my shoe size went down from a 91/2 to an 8 (which surprised the hell out of me, I wasnt aware of how much fat you store in your feet!).

However, I am what many would refer to as "skinnyfat". The weight loss has definitely taken a toll on my, ahem, rack...but I still am pretty proud of my derriere. My exercise routine is mostly limited to walking (I live in NYC, its what we do), and yoga. No weights, no cardio...no gym membership at all.

I look great in clothes, and for once in my life I can pretty much wear anything I want. But, when the clothes come off, I am...a bit squishy. But, isn't it more womanly to be a bit soft? It seems so many women on this site are striving for the hard, muscular, low body fat physique.

I was a heavy girl for the majority of my life, but now at nearly 40 yrs old I have reached my weight and health goals, and I feel great. So the bottom line question is...is skinnyfat considered unattractive? Would the men out there rather touch soft yielding flesh, or firm hard bodies? I'd love to hear all your opinions.
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Replies

  • TheLittleLebowski
    TheLittleLebowski Posts: 143
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    Can't speak for all men but I actually prefer a soft woman, I think muscular women rock too, but my personal preference is a women who is healthy but as you said, is a bit 'squishy'.
  • HotMummyMission
    HotMummyMission Posts: 1,723 Member
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    I'm skinny fat now :( it's all fine when you stood up but it all hangs when ur on top;) tone tone tone it is for me x
  • Chubbyhulagirl
    Chubbyhulagirl Posts: 374 Member
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    I think you look wonderful and congratulations on meeting all your health goals! Thats amazing. Also, you will find an endless supply of men who are attracted to every type of woman...soft, hard, skinny, muscular, fat, short, tall, etc. And atleast a handful who think you are perfect!
    Men like vaginas...the packaging around it is just the cherry on top. Lol
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    There is a happy medium between squishy and hard-bodied and that is 'toned'. Get lifting some weights, you don't have to aim for a hard body but definitely tighten it up!

    PS Well done on your weight loss so far!
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    Hi there, same height, same age and very similar GI issues when I started (which I am also managing with diet now) not a guy but 3 out of 4 right? :p

    I just wanted to say that not all women are interested in having the same type of 'ideal' body. My thought is the same as yours where I feel that a softer more rounded form is more pleasing. By no means am I discouraging anyone from going for whatever makes them comfortable, so this is the same advice to you. Do not base your 'goal' on other people's ideals nor let them dictate what you should do with your body.

    I have never had an issue finding men who have found me attractive in any form that I have found myself in over the years, everything from 235lbs to 135 (also skinny fat). Men love women and while some will find one form more pleasing there are always those that will find YOUR form appealing - regardless of what that is.

    The only thing which should impact your decision is YOUR comfort. If you are pursuing something only to please someone else then it will be difficult for you to ever be 'you'. You said it yourself that you "have reached [your] weight and health goals, and feel great". It sounds like you are in a good spot to me ;)
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    You are going to get all sorts of answers here. What's important is that you've reached your goals and you should be very proud of that fact. Very. If you want to change yourself further, go at it, but know that its for you.
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
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    You are going to get all sorts of answers here. What's important is that you've reached your goals and you should be very proud of that fact. Very. If you want to change yourself further, go at it, but know that its for you.
    This.
  • czardastx
    czardastx Posts: 127 Member
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    There is a happy medium between squishy and hard-bodied and that is 'toned'. Get lifting some weights, you don't have to aim for a hard body but definitely tighten it up!

    PS Well done on your weight loss so far!

    You don't need a gym membership to tone up a bit. Get some dumb bells and a good routine that will work your legs, core and upper body. If you have a smartphone (or tablet) there are a ton of apps available to help you get started. You say you walk; have you thought about throwing some running in there as well? Boosting your calorie burn will help you get rid of some of the fat that makes you squishy and will give you more tone.

    Having said that, I looked at your pictures and think you look wonderful. You have a good shape as you are now. You've worked hard to get where you are, be proud of that. You can (and should) take pride in where you are in relation to your health and appearance. If you need reinforcement, go look at some of your before pictures then look at yourself now. That will be sure to make you feel good about yourself and your appearance.
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    You are going to get all sorts of answers here. What's important is that you've reached your goals and you should be very proud of that fact. Very. If you want to change yourself further, go at it, but know that its for you.

    Totally agree, you've done fantastically well meeting your health goals, and if you are happy with the way you look then fantastic! If you want to "tone" up there is plenty you can do at home/with minimal equipment.
  • kaceelawlor
    kaceelawlor Posts: 184 Member
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    Men like vaginas...the packaging around it is just the cherry on top. Lol

    ^^^ This is fantastic. :laugh:

    But first, CONGRATS on reaching your goal and feeling awesome in your own body. Isn't that all that matters? Make yourself happy first and then (maybe) worry about what other people think. YOU have to live with your body and as long as you're happy with where you are, then that's the ultimate goal, right?

    Everyone is right, though. There are going to be people that like all different kinds of bodies. (Why do you think there are "boob guys" and "butt guys"? lol)
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
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    as long as you have boobs :):p

    jk

    guys are scared of women who are too fit. i know this for fact.
  • Victoria2448
    Victoria2448 Posts: 559 Member
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    Congratulations on your weightloss! What a great accomplishment.

    While it's nice to know what men prefer...I would be concerned more with muscle loss. It's so important to have muscle as we age.
    Don't be worried you are going to be rock hard...that doesn't happen by mistake.

    Even when someone looks fairly muscular, most women will still have their soft rounded areas.
  • Carachama
    Carachama Posts: 11 Member
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    Women are supposed to have a layer of fat in the hypodermis. And men (at least this one) are attracted to women that are fit but with your normal hypodermis. It is what we are evolutionarily programmed to do as the hypodermis is tied to fertility.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
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    Totally not related to the question but I'm not a man so I'm not going to answer this question for them: did you check your abdominal pain issue? You wrote something about that and now I'm not sure what happened there.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,926 Member
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    I think you are looking great. And your dog is adorable too. If you want to build muscle, lift. If you don't, and are happy with where you are, I say do what you are doing. I'm at goal weight and skinny fat, but I'm healthy and at 34 I've realized it's better to be thin and in a good weight range than fat. I've had many overweight friends be diagnosed with High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol and Type 2 Diabetes in the past few years - which is mainly why I lose the weight. Not to be vain (I was pretty happy a bigger girl, but I feel better as a thinner girl!), but to make sure my numbers were rock star status and they are!

    I've dabbled in the lifting arena and if I could get my *kitten* motivated I know there are a ton of improvements I could make to me, but I'm happy with what I see when I look in the mirror. I wouldn't look at what you think other's want you to look like, I'd look at what you want to be.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    guys are scared of women who are too fit. i know this for fact.

    I know for a fact this does not apply to all guys because it doesn't apply to me.


    go to the back of the line
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    So, I am 5'6" and weigh currently weigh about 117-120lbs. My maximum weight was reached in 1995, at which time I weighed 196lbs, and resorted to wearing mens clothes because I was too ashamed to walk into Lane Bryant. I have been losing weight steadily over the past several years, mainly secondary to reducing my alcohol consumption

    I joined MFP a few months ago; my starting weight at that time was 126lbs. I joined mainly because I was experiencing significant gastrointestinal problems to the point where I could not join my friends and family at restaurants; the abdominal pain was so severe there were days I could barely eat anything, and I was afraid to be more than a few feet away from a bathroom.

    My goal joining MFP was not to lose weight, but to assess the nutritional content of the foods I ate, and I learned I was severely deficient in potassium, vitamin A, calcium and fiber. I have since made alterations in my diet to meet my nutritional goals have completely resolved the GI issues, and I can now have a normal life.

    I now wear a size 2-4; in addition, my shoe size went down from a 91/2 to an 8 (which surprised the hell out of me, I wasnt aware of how much fat you store in your feet!).

    However, I am what many would refer to as "skinnyfat". The weight loss has definitely taken a toll on my, ahem, rack...but I still am pretty proud of my derriere. My exercise routine is mostly limited to walking (I live in NYC, its what we do), and yoga. No weights, no cardio...no gym membership at all.

    I look great in clothes, and for once in my life I can pretty much wear anything I want. But, when the clothes come off, I am...a bit squishy. But, isn't it more womanly to be a bit soft? It seems so many women on this site are striving for the hard, muscular, low body fat physique.

    I was a heavy girl for the majority of my life, but now at nearly 40 yrs old I have reached my weight and health goals, and I feel great. So the bottom line question is...is skinnyfat considered unattractive? Would the men out there rather touch soft yielding flesh, or firm hard bodies? I'd love to hear all your opinions.

    there is nothing wrong with a little squish.

    My *rack* has gone from a 42DD down to a modest 38C, but my husband will assure you, he could still smother himself in it if he wanted to.

    I started doing some strength training earlier this year to get more functional strength. I now have biceps for the first time in the 18 years we have been together. I also have the beginning of some hamstring definition. Not sure I will ever have a "firm hard body" after having 3 kids, but I CAN have enough muscles to impress my kids :D
  • brandi797
    brandi797 Posts: 8
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    go look at some of your before pictures then look at yourself now. That will be sure to make you feel good about yourself and your appearance.

    HA! There ARE no before pictures...I shunned cameras :)
  • brandi797
    brandi797 Posts: 8
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    Totally not related to the question but I'm not a man so I'm not going to answer this question for them: did you check your abdominal pain issue? You wrote something about that and now I'm not sure what happened there.

    It's kind of a long story, but ...I grew up lactose intolerant and often had GI problems. Then, about 10 years ago I had my gallbladder removed (being fat takes a toll on that particular organ) and had significantly more digestive problems since then. I have medical training (not really want to get into my background) but suffice it to say I avoid doctors unless absolutely necessary.

    That said, since I've been watching my potassium intake, everything has returned to normal. Well, "returned" is not the right word, since this is the FIRST TIME in my ENTIRE LIFE things are normal.

    (not that guys want to hear anything about digestion!)
  • 5stringjeff
    5stringjeff Posts: 790 Member
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    You are going to get all sorts of answers here. What's important is that you've reached your goals and you should be very proud of that fact. Very. If you want to change yourself further, go at it, but know that its for you.

    This. If you want to tone up, tone up for yourself, but not because you have to meet some ridiculous societal standard of body fat %.

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