When folks don't notice....

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Gwenski
Gwenski Posts: 348 Member
in Success Stories
This really is an NSV and not a need for encouragement. I have been thinking about this a lot today. To start, I have a recently new boss who is aware that I have been working at losing weight. He mentioned the other day that 'wow, you are still losing huh'? Good for you! He finally saw an old pic of me and then said 'wow, I would have never known that you had been a woman of size ,'
I think that is a testament to the healthy approach.. I look well, healthy and not deprived. I also think my daily workouts must be helping me to look as firm as can be expected of a woman of my age...so, patting myself on the back a bit!
Just goes to show that new acquaintances won't always know how far you've come until it is in their face.
I also chatted with a long time friend the other day. She was gushing about my new hairstyle and glasses and how it lights up my face. I just kind of smiled knowing that I didn't have a new haircut or new glasses. Now, I see this person at least every other week.. And I truly believe that she has not registered that I am over 105 pounds smaller. In a way, this is the best compliment of the world. This woman sees me just the same as she always has (albeit I,proved or enhanced in some way) but it lap pears she never had me labelled as ' extra large' or else it would be obvious to her now...and trust me, this person would have said something. I am seeing others a lot differently now..and that is a good thing!

Replies

  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    I think in many ways you're right. No one at work said anything to me about my weight loss, but all of a sudden I got all these compliments from colleagues and even students about how great I look and how beautiful my clothes are. I've owned these clothes for years. It's not them per se - it's that they look good on me now.
  • wbandel
    wbandel Posts: 530 Member
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    Great story and outlook on life. :) I tend to be pretty oblivious unless something is super obvious. I would totally be one of those people to notice a change, but not know what changed in particular.

    Congrats on all your hard work paying off!
  • sarahslim100
    sarahslim100 Posts: 485 Member
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    Lovely to hear. My fav compliment is from a 7 y.o who liked the purple flowers on my dress; means so much more than any adult whose mentioned weight loss.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
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    I think when people say " you look great" is a better compliment and testimony that I am truely getting fitter and carrying myself better.
  • mbryanlpc
    mbryanlpc Posts: 100 Member
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    Absolutely agree! My favorite has been that lately, I'm being told a lot that my haircut makes my face look thinner! LOL! Tempted to say, well,, that and losing all that weight :)
  • jiggy_gibby
    jiggy_gibby Posts: 197
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    Gwen, there is pretty on the outside and pretty on the inside. And your family and friends are lucky because you are BOTH!
  • bestbassist
    bestbassist Posts: 177 Member
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    I have a jealous female boss who fancies herself "fat" even though she is just a bit plump. She refuses to acknowledge my weight loss and pretends to be oblivious to it. Yet I overheard her make a comment to another coworker recently about how much I've lost. Typical jealous, catty behavior. Eh well. The fact that I can make her squirm a bit with jealousy is nice. She's "competitive" in that insecure, I-have-to-do-what-others-do-and-do-it-better, way.

    Another boss at work hadn't realized I lost as much as I had. I get the "you must carry it well" comment a lot. That's a nice way of saying "you still look fat."

    Oh - and what does "NSV" mean? I've seen that on the forums here a couple times and can't figure it out by context. :noway:
  • Daysednconfused
    Daysednconfused Posts: 975 Member
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    My daughter - who I see 5 days a week - just commented yesterday that I looked like I lost weight. I was sure she wasn't saying anything because our relationship is strained to say the least. I only see her 5 days a week because I keep my two oldest grandchildren after school every day. Now I'm wondering whether she really just didn't notice 16 lbs gone in about 8 weeks. I have to admit, I like hearing that's it's noticeable!
  • zentha1384
    zentha1384 Posts: 323 Member
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    I have been pretty vocal about my weight loss at work (although I'm running a biggest loser competition and it would be hard to hide it). The people who know I'm losing have the occasional small complement which really brighten my day and keep me going. The interesting thing is my husband has lost about the same amount of weight as I have and when my co workers see him they are shocked at how different he looks (or don't recognize him).

    I think people who see you often don't notice the change as much because they compare day to day instead of month(s) to month(s).

    On Christmas eve and Christmas I will see family that hasn't seen me in a year. I have lost almost 70 lbs since then. I can't wait to see what they say :happy:
  • Madholm
    Madholm Posts: 167
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    First of all great work on the change of lifestyle; I'm sure it's done wonders for you.

    I'd also like to say thanks for the post about how other percieve you. It's nice to put things into perspective and it reminds me that every person you meet or know could have overcome many challenges to get to the now.
  • jiggy_gibby
    jiggy_gibby Posts: 197
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    Oh - and what does "NSV" mean? I've seen that on the forums here a couple times and can't figure it out by context. :noway:
    [/quote]



    It means "non scale victory".
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
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    OP: You have lost 105 pounds! So impressive and inspirational! I whine and whine about my itty-bitty loss, but you climbed a mountain, woman. I am so proud of you. You look fantastic and happy! Congrats and thanks for the inspiration.:flowerforyou:
  • zentha1384
    zentha1384 Posts: 323 Member
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    Another boss at work hadn't realized I lost as much as I had. I get the "you must carry it well" comment a lot. That's a nice way of saying "you still look fat."

    I have a co workers who say I carry my weight well, I don't think they are saying I still look fat. One co worker said it after saying "Wow I would guess you were in the 100s" when I told her I was 220. I ask another co worker how much they thought I weighted when I was just starting my weight loss. She said 230, I was 270 at that point. Some people actually do carry the weight in a way that makes other perceive them as less weight then they are. It seems like to me when the people who carry well lose weight it is less noticeable.
  • rapat
    rapat Posts: 108 Member
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    I think there's two parts to this for most people:

    1. If they don't know you well, ie you don't socialize with them daily, then they will probably not bring up your weight (loss or gain). I know I wouldn't comment about weight to someone unless I considered them a friend and also knew that they were trying to lose weight.

    2. If they see you every day, then they don't notice it as its a gradual tiny daily change to them. ~8 years ago the guy who sat next to me lost 50lbs and I didn't even notice it until he mentioned it, then it sort of hit me -- mentally thinking of how he looked 4 months prior.

    Whereas if you have a friend / relative that you see once every 6 months, then its a big change between how you expect them to appear and how they do and you'll recognize it right away.
  • flower607
    flower607 Posts: 13 Member
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    Ive only begun my weight loss journey , and I guess I'm one of those people who do hold weight well, I'm guessing its because I hold my weight in lower half and have a small waist, and have a pretty good height of 5'7. However it still surprising that I gained 18 pounds, and apart from my mom nobody noticed! - And my friends tell it like it is. Now that ive lost it all off again Im getting compliments but nobody notices that my weight loss :S
  • laineybz
    laineybz Posts: 704 Member
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    Alot of people say to me they didn't wanna say "wow you've lost loads of weight" because they worried i'd think they'd basically called me fat before lol. But i'd prefer people to say to me that they've noticed. At least then i know hard work has paid off.

    After 6 months of doing MFP people started commenting and saying how fast i seemed to have lost weight. i hadn't, it had been months but people hadn't noticed. Alot of it had to do with the fact i still wore baggy clothing so they wouldn't have noticed, now i wear more fitted clothes.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    Another boss at work hadn't realized I lost as much as I had. I get the "you must carry it well" comment a lot. That's a nice way of saying "you still look fat."

    I have a co workers who say I carry my weight well, I don't think they are saying I still look fat. One co worker said it after saying "Wow I would guess you were in the 100s" when I told her I was 220. I ask another co worker how much they thought I weighted when I was just starting my weight loss. She said 230, I was 270 at that point. Some people actually do carry the weight in a way that makes other perceive them as less weight then they are. It seems like to me when the people who carry well lose weight it is less noticeable.

    This is what I thought it meant too.

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