I lost 105 pounds...but still fat, ugly, depressed.

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kellen21
kellen21 Posts: 3 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've lost 105 pounds in 1.5 years (I'm 22, 6'3 and went from 325 to 220). Despite losing a shirt size (XXL) and 3 pants sizes (38) I still look the same but smaller. I work out 3-5 times (lifting and cardio) and my diet fits in to my macros and eat at least 1800 calories.

Despite my weight loss I still have a high body fat percentage and still have giant man boobs. People fatter than me lost just as much and have earn a good body, so WHY can't I HAVE ONE? I did the work (and still continuing) and all I get is a spit in the face.

Everyone says that losing weight will give you more confidence and reduce your overall stress levels. But my confidence is at an all time low and my emotional stress level is high and all I can do is bottle everything up. Also my anti-depression medications are worthless.

The main reason for me losing weight in the first place is to get either laid or a girlfriend (And I'm not picky about women).

I've only kissed 2 girls and had sex only once (both drunk, almost a year ago). This is pretty pathetic for college guy. The only time I have any self confidence is with alcohol (not beer, HARD liquor) and I haven't had the chance to drink in over 8 months(lack of friends around, work and school). It's hard being lonely in college

Even though I lost a lot of weight, I still have some fat (25% body fat). I do I have to get a shredded body to finally get some confidence and women? Or should I save time and just kill myself now?

Pictures of myself
Me at 260 -275 (I don't remember exactly)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/76898191@N08/7043363921/

Me at 225 (I'm 220 now)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/89603392@N07/8151564612/in/photostream

BTW no one except my parents and doctors have seen me with my shirt off. And my doctor WONT permit surgery.

Replies

  • FluroFaye
    FluroFaye Posts: 130
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    Confidence won't appear overnight, neither will it appear just because you changed your body...you have to change the way you think.

    I don't believe 25% is high, I believe it's perfectly normal? Not exactly athletic but in the normal range?

    If you don't like yourself, don't expect everyone else around you to magically like you. I know that, but I was lucky to find a nice guy over the internet. A year on, I'm living with him and we're very happy.

    Try toning up and consult your doctors about your meds for depression and ask about a possible hormonal imbalance, this could be the reason why you have pronounced 'breasts'. If you're not happy with your doctor, change, but surgery really should be your last resort. You have lost a lot of weight and haven't been your current weight for very long. It can take time for things to settle.

    ~Overall, I would say you need to get your depression sorted as your main priority. If losing weight hasn't helped, you need to look into what's really causing your unhappiness.
    I would say that the likelihood of you having a hormonal inbalance is fairly high, seeing both your pictures.

    This is coming from something without a degree but with a keen knowledge/interest in medicine and from someone who has suffered with life-altering depression for over 10 years.

    Feel free to inbox me, friend me or whatever. I'll be happy to offer support.

    Whatever you do, I wish you well and you have done an amazing job on your weight loss.
  • CandaceHoweth91
    CandaceHoweth91 Posts: 288
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    I'm only saying this because you mentioned it, and I am sure you are, but are you doing chest exercises? I mean religiously? However, I know sometimes skin is stretched and it just won't go back. I have 2 kids and my stomach will never be the same because it was stretched sooooo much! Anywho, I know sometimes it just won't go away without some type of surgical procedure. Why will your doctor not allow you to have surgery? Is it because he wants you to finish losing weight? I would get a second opinion since it seems to really be bothering you. Your body looks fantastic though!

    Also, I have been in the depressed boat before. I'm sure I don't know how you feel, but I know what it feels like to feel empty, sad, and alone. Feel free to add me or if you ever need to talk (: I was a state champion powerlifter too (before children) and I know just about every exercise for every part of the body! (:
  • Aleph13
    Aleph13 Posts: 83 Member
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    You've lost 105 pounds... that is amazing and you should feel proud ... yeah you still have a way to go but you've come so far and it would be ridiculous to give up now. I know it can seem like you're getting nowhere but if you stop and think about what you've actually achieved and the weight you have actually got rid of you will see things differently.
    The most important thing before anything else though is that you have to start believing in yourself and you have to lose weight for you... not to get laid or to get a girlfriend... it might seem like your life is crap coz you don't have a woman but honestly relationships just bring a whole new set of problems to your life and if you're not happy with yourself first, a relationship will never work.
    Have you thought about therapy... talking things through with a stranger sometimes helps and gets things in perspective. Whatever you do, don't give up... that's the worst thing you could do. Keep going and keep strong x
  • MaxineMarieM
    MaxineMarieM Posts: 50 Member
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    I agree with the above poster. Losing weight doesn't make you happy. Been there done that and had to realize losing weight does not change your life you have to. I suggest you see a Dr about getting on some anti depressents and maybe even counceling. As far as your body issues we all have them. I lost over 200 lbs and although I look good in my close trust me without clothes I do not like looking at all the loose skin I have. I am older so putting my body through plastic surgery is out of the question so I accept that this is what I did to my body and I live with it. You however may want to consult a plastic surgergon who can address some of the things you do not like about your body.

    By the way WTG! on losing 105 lbs. Do not let how you are feeling right now make you turn to food and gain it all back that would only make you feel worse. I know that because I did that once. Hang in there! I would be more then happy to support you if you would like to friend me on here.
  • bananapancakebella
    bananapancakebella Posts: 178
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    Mentioning killing yourself over your body shape makes me think you might have some serious self-esteem issues. Maybe it's time to see a therapist to work on your emotional health?

    Do you lift weights? You don't need to get shredded (unless you want to) but lifting may help you to achieve a body you like, while lowering body fat.

    Also getting your hormone levels checked by your doctor might be a good idea.

    But please, work on loving yourself the way you are. Really, that's the most important thing.

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