A serious question...

I recently did a huge research paper on Play Therapy with young kids. Its non-verbal and still helps them cope with and deal with stressful traumas that they have experienced. Look into it in your area, my mom is also an occupational therapist working with sensory issues, and usually a child-led therapy is more beneficial...and especially something NON-VERBAL!

Just a thought I've got tons of sources and research on play therapy, shoot me a message if you want some articles.

I was traumatized but what a family member did. I was 14 so you'd think I was old enough to ask for help but I didn't. When I finally did my parents were sympathetic but it had been almost 5 years so the pain wasn't as immediate to them as it was still for me. They don't believe in therapy but I did go. Honestly, I think you're doing the right thing by seeking help for your kids. Therapy didn't help me but I believe it does help others. The problem is there are sooo many quacks out there! you have to shop around. Don't give up! you're obviously a good mother, just be there to support them and help them in anyway you can.

I don't talk about the whys, but I was taken to a psychologist as a child. He pushed too hard and forever etched in my being an extreme distrust of men and any kind of councilor, therapist, etc.

I've learned to function thanks to my mom's unconditional love, but in the back of my mind, I'm always questioning everyone's motives until they've proven themselves trustworthy. I can't tell you how I might've been if I hadn't been taken... better or worse? Who knows?

The problem with therapists is that kids will not respond to anyone they don't trust. A kid that is injured is not likely to trust anyone aside from his parents. A better approach might be getting help yourself and learning how to help your child. It's also important to remember that kids don't intellectualize things in the same way adults do, but they are very resilient. A safe and loving environment probably has more power to heal than anything.

for whatever cause this for your kids, i am so sorry. I went through some very traumatic events when I was a child. What I remember most about my mom was that she did not know how to cope AT ALL herself and so was useless to me and my siblings. I was grown and married before I figured it out. You wrote about how you to have PTSD and avoid sleep and I think you have to remember that you need to make yourself healthy and strong in the face of fear so that your kids see that they can do it too and have a mom that they can depend on.
God bless

Get a new therapist

Ask your child if they want to try to meet with someone to help

I like the book promise of energy psychology (i think that's the name) if not email me and I'll find the details

I assume your child cant articulate their feelings- defend them (if something makes you uncomfortable) your job is to defend your child, IMO

Help your child articulate your thoughts- it is a needed skill for relationships

I was traumatized but what a family member did. I was 14 so you'd think I was old enough to ask for help but I didn't. When I finally did my parents were sympathetic but it had been almost 5 years so the pain wasn't as immediate to them as it was still for me. They don't believe in therapy but I did go. Honestly, I think you're doing the right thing by seeking help for your kids. Therapy didn't help me but I believe it does help others. The problem is there are sooo many quacks out there! you have to shop around. Don't give up! you're obviously a good mother, just be there to support them and help them in anyway you can.

Same here I agree with you. Therapist are great when you get the right one. My son went to one and he is doing great. He will talk things out more. I hope you can find one that has compassion and know how to talk to children. Ask to switch if possible. Ask for reference. Hang in there. Will be praying for you and your situation.

Two of my children have been diagnosed with PTSD and Adjustment disorder for more than a year and a half. We have gone through four therapists trying to find the right fit. A week ago the therapist came and seemed to be interrogating my child cia style.She kept asking the same question over and over and my child kept looking down saying in a quiet voice "I don't know". She would then say "yes you do" and repeat the process. It was uncomfortable and painful to watch. I had to step in and stop her. I helped get the answer she was looking for in a more gentle way, but then my childs heart seemed ripped open and she had given my child no coping skills to deal with the pain she had just forced up. I feel like I am making things worse. It feels like everything keeps getting dragged up, but with no positive end result.:brokenheart:

If you experienced an extreme traumatic event as a child.

1.Did your parents get you therapy?

2. If they did are you happy they did or do you wish they hadn't?
3. If they didn't are you happy they didn't or do you wish they had?


Thank you for your help.:flowerforyou:

I have PTSD because of severe childhood physical abuse which I recieved via my brother. My parents never got me therapy, according to them the abuse was my fault. I am now 20 years old and have recurring nightmares about it. I have only started going to therapy myself about a month ago and although it is like ripping a bandaid off a wound hopefully it will help in the long run. I wish that they had got me therapy themselves and that I wasn't blamed for what happened.

Two of my children have been diagnosed with PTSD and Adjustment disorder for more than a year and a half. We have gone through four therapists trying to find the right fit. A week ago the therapist came and seemed to be interrogating my child cia style.She kept asking the same question over and over and my child kept looking down saying in a quiet voice "I don't know". She would then say "yes you do" and repeat the process. It was uncomfortable and painful to watch. I had to step in and stop her. I helped get the answer she was looking for in a more gentle way, but then my childs heart seemed ripped open and she had given my child no coping skills to deal with the pain she had just forced up. I feel like I am making things worse. It feels like everything keeps getting dragged up, but with no positive end result.:brokenheart:

If you experienced an extreme traumatic event as a child.

1.Did your parents get you therapy?

2. If they did are you happy they did or do you wish they hadn't?
3. If they didn't are you happy they didn't or do you wish they had?


Thank you for your help.:flowerforyou:

I'm sorry for your struggle. Sometimes the world graduates therapists who are just unskilled and can't connect. Once in a while, you can stumble upon a real gem. In my experience, referral sources from people you trust are very important to find those gems! Good luck and don't give up.

My mom did everything she could to try and get me help.

I was both in-patient and out-patient. The only person I theoretically wanted to talk to was my mom. I didn't have the communication skills to do that, so she tried to help the only way she knew how, hence I was hospitalized. This was a huge mistake in hindsight, I have ridiculous emotional scars from that damn place. I don't blame her though.

Age 13 I went into lock-down. No one could reach me. I completely shut down emotionally and acted out in anger because it was the only safe emotion to express. It was the only emotion I had left.

I suppressed memories of events to the point that some of them I didn't recollect until 20+ yrs later. Talk about a friggin waking nightmare...

In hindsight the things that stand out are that she TRIED to help me and didn't throw me to the wolves. Most amazing person in the world my mum.
Reality being there was no therapist that could have helped me because the only person that ever could help me was my mom; but I couldn't even let her in. I was just to f'd up and emotionally immature to handle anything.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that I think the best thing you can do is be the therapist yourself, there is practically nothing in this world that love can't fix. Your love and support is what they need the most, so communicate with them, comfort them, play with them, confront the issues openly with them as a family. You are the most trusted person in the world to them, who better to fix them than you?

So in a nutshell, get things out in the open don't let them become old festering wounds.

Yes I am happy my mom tried to help. Those events forever changed me though, there was no going back to who I was. a couple decades later and I still have trust issues, i guess i always will.

All the kings horses and all the kings men..

Your a great mom for caring enough to ask peoples opinions, you will do right by them

I was abused by a family member when I was 5 and my mom sought out counseling for us. We did the play therapy and honestly, it made me feel uncomfortable and didn't help me deal with anything as I didn't understand what I was trying to work through. I don't know how long we went, but I don't think it was super long before we stopped. It wasn't until 18 years later and lots of other not so wonderful situations that I was able to see that there was a problem and that it wasn't me. I THEN sought out counseling on my own and was able to work through everything. I am now a stronger and better person for what I've been able to work through. Your kids might not be able to work through things even though you try, but I wish you luck and no matter what happens, just be there for them and if you don't continue on, help them to know throughout their years as they're exploring life, that you are there to help them work through whatever may come up.

Unfortunately whatever traumas we face are with us for life and will always affect us to a point, but they don't have to define us.

Play therapy can yield amazing results. Maybe try looking into that? It's a real and specialized approach to therapy with children and can help engage them on their own level. I did play therapy as a child. It was really useful.

My son was started on therapy early-on for reasons that turned out to be unfounded. My ex-wife was always trying to convince herself and me that there was something 'off' about our son, because she just wasn't connecting with him the way she thought she would / should. . In hindsight, I'm convinced SHE was the one who is emotionally stunted, not him. Anyway, I agreed to let him be counseled and it turned out to be a good move.

We found an excellent therapist who employed play therapy (he was four when he started).. .He quickly picked out some figurines to represent the three of us, plus other figures that would come into the scenario on occasion. We gained some real insight into what was going on in his head and this became critical when our marriage started to fall apart.

When he was five, I was forced to take him away from his home, and from his mom (for a period of time) and it was VERY helpful that he had already established a rapport with this therapist. I'm not sure how well it would have gone with somebody brand new.

Either way, I feel she helped him deal with his anxieties and fears by finding a way to express them, and it helped me to get a much better understanding of HIM through her, so I could do the right things by him. . such as constantly expressing to him that nothing was his fault and telling him he was safe. She also helped me by instructing me on how to avoid destructive behavior, such as visible expressions of weakness and doubt. She explained that he was 100% relying on me now and that his secure world had just been torn asunder. . things that he took for granted were suddenly gone. I had to be the 'rock' that he could rely on.

Anyway. . that's my story. I'm a big advocate of therapy, but I was blessed to find an excellent therapist.

Also. .I disagree with the poster above who stated that psychiatrists are always better. . The truth is, psychiatrists these days mostly talk to you for 15 minutes, charge you for an hour, then prescribe drugs. . They don't do much counseling and when they do, it's $300 / hour. . So. . find an experienced councilor that comes highly recommended by other people with similar problems. .

One more thing. . I was concerned most about your description of her blatantly direct questioning of your child. This may be a valid method, I don't know, but it sounds more like she was frustrated with your kid and angry that your child wasn't giving her the answers she wanted. I would suggest seeking a different councilor. .Of course, this is a difficult decision, particularly if your kid seems to trust and open up to this woman, but it sounds like browbeating to me and I think your instincts are right. . The purpose of this counseling is to help your child cope, not to force him/her to answer your questions.

Good luck . .