Emotional problems during holidays
jsmcintyre
Posts: 26 Member
Does anyone else feel "down" during the holdiays every year like me? Losing motivation, not able to enjoy celebrations, weight gain? It really doesn't matter why, whether it is from my childhood, less sunlight this time of year, colder temperatures that lead to less time outside, or whatever.
Most importantly, has anyone found a solution that helps? Hoping that I am not the only one.
Most importantly, has anyone found a solution that helps? Hoping that I am not the only one.
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Replies
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You're not alone... I was thinking the exact same thing this morning.
This is the first Christmas without my beloved Grandma. That and I live in Michigan so by the end of January, we have an annual "draw the sun by memory" contest. It also doesn't help that I have a family and personal history of struggling with depression. Even with the support of a wonderful boyfriend and family, it's hard not to feel down for me.
There are so many factors that contribute to the "blue" feeling, in my opinion. Part of feeling better, is honestly just trudging through it. Also, having someone to talk to transparently is a real blessing. I also try to write how I feel everyday in a journal. When I'm down, I like to go to the happy pages and read them over. It sounds kinda silly, but it reminds me of what I need to be thankful for and that those times are sweeter because of the down/sad times.
Hang in there. And know, you're not alone. =]
Feel free to friend me if you'd like too. I'm not a great speaker, but I have some pretty good hearing ears to listen with.0 -
Thank you for your well-thought-out response. I will definitely take that advice. I have always meant to journal, but consistency becomes a problem for me. Just need to build in that habit. Thanks.0
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I struggle during the holidays also. I am married and have four kids, and should be enjoying the holidays, but I am pretty blue, and just ready for them to be over. The last couple of years we have had some pretty difficult events right around the hoidays, so that has not helped. I am just trying to relax and take care of myself, they will be over soon!0
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I don't want to dread this time of year every year. I want to be able to celebrate. In my line of work I need to be able to lead people in this celebration. Right now I feel like I need people to lead me.0
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Oh I hate the holidays! I am the Grinch!!! What helps is when the calendar reaches March or April. :laugh:0
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That is a pretty bleak outlook for the next few months...0
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I find my holiday cheer in the beauty of the decorations. I love the colorful lights and the sparkle! I hate the commercialism and pressure to spend money and buy buy buy. That part depresses me. I hate the feeling that I have to do certain things in a certain amount of time by a certain date. It takes all the fun out of the holiday season. When I start feeling like that I find a quiet place to be by myself and soak up simple things, like nature - even just sitting in a warmer spot inside the house with the sun coming in the window to warm me up. Then I consciously think of things that are good in my life and what I'm thankful for. Seems to calm me down.
Do you know why you feel down? What is your line of work? Journaling - as someone suggested earlier - is an awesome way to sort through you emotions. But it only works if you are absolutely completely honest with yourself. You have to write knowing that no one will ever read it so you truly benefit from it. If you're holding back anything, it won't be as effective. Keep that in mind and I think you'll really enjoy it and start to want to do it instead of having to try to remember to do it.
Good luck to you...and happy merry Christmas holidays!0 -
I have been struggling, too. I think it's because the older we get, the more people we miss around this time (at least, I think that's my problem).
I don't have any reason to be down! Everything is going great, it's just the time of year. You are not the only one!0 -
Wow! This is what I wrote last night on my news feed before I went to bed:
Sheila_Ann: Lately I don't feel focus. I feel depressed and I'm not sure why. Hopefully I will snap out of it and be able to get back into the swing of thing. I need to find that drive again. Not sure where I left it. Have a good night my friends. <hugs>
Guess I'm not alone. I live in CT and what happened here probably tipped me right over the edge. My family lives in Florida and Puerto Rico so I don't have anyone but my wonderful 8 y/o son.
I'm hoping to snap out of it real son cuz it sucks! I saw my nutritionist this morning in the hallway and she said that maybe I should talk to someone or do something that is fun for me and my son.
I'm sorry I can't offer you any advise except to hang in there and hopefully it will pass.
Feel free to friend request me if you'd like
Thanks!
Sheila0 -
i have been reading online about how to improve mood during those blue holiday feelings.
some of the sites are health related, some are spiritual, but they have similar offerings on the things they recommend.
- accept your feelings, but aim to improve them.
- don't be isolated: spend time with others.
- exercise.
- sing. something in how the ear processes audible stimuli from song improves mood.
- touch. endorphins from physical contact.
- act happy. and you will become happier.
- eat mood boosting foods - lists are online.
- think happy. thoughts become emotion.
hope this helps.
for you, and me.0 -
I have been struggling, too. I think it's because the older we get, the more people we miss around this time (at least, I think that's my problem).
I don't have any reason to be down! Everything is going great, it's just the time of year. You are not the only one!
S'true!0 -
I'm struggling with the same issues...don't like the shorter, darker days. I don't mind the cold so much....but the darker days KILL me. I don't want go anywhere! Once I'm out I'm okay...just no motivation. I'm really trying to just stay as active as possible...that seems to help. My job can be erratic with appointments, so that can also give me way too much free time. Usually I'll end up eating more those days when I'm not busy...I seem to eat out of boredom or when I'm tired. Really trying to figure out STILL how to combat those two emotional times of eating. It really undoes everything I've done in the gym or on the court. Here's to Spring!:drinker:0
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Hang in there and you are not alone!!! So much go into the holidays and its hard to manage.
Don't beat yourself up and find what makes you happy and focus on that!!0 -
I think the holidays can be very difficult. I lost my mom 5 years ago and I still struggle through the holidays without her. I find comfort in continuing the traditions she started with us around the holidays, but that also makes me miss her. I try to keep myself busy - work, working out, time with friends - but sometimes that is even more of a chore. The thing that probably works most, though, is finding something in each day to be happy about...and every time I get upset or down or lack motivation, I think about that thing or event or person and it cheers me up for at least a little bit. I hope this time of year gets easier for you (and everyone!) or that it passes quickly without too much pain!0
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I am glad to see that I am not alone, it helps. That was a weird first sentence, being glad that others are having difficulty. That is not how it was intended. It just helps me to feel less alone. I truly thank you all for your responses.0
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I'm sorry you feel that way. . . but know you are Normal!
We have these unrealistic thoughts that we should all have a Norman Rockwell Christmas. Those I believe are few and FAR between. Your uniform indicates you are in the military and leading other soldiers. You have the hardest job in the world as far as I am concerned, and besides being VERY GREATFUL for you and your service, I bet its very difficult to stay positive.
Know that there are people praying for you and that you can find some joy this Christmas in something small. Hugs from the PC.
It also helps me tremendously to focus on others at this time of year. I especially am praying for the families in Newtown Ct, who are deaing with unspeakable grief. I praise God my family is still here and safe.
God Bless you!0 -
I don't want to dread this time of year every year. I want to be able to celebrate. In my line of work I need to be able to lead people in this celebration. Right now I feel like I need people to lead me.
Reread what you wrote - but change the emphasis. I have found personally that the best way to get over the "blues" is to focus on others, not on me. What "I need" is exactly what you said- to be able to lead or help others to be happy. The more we focus on others, the less we think about ourselves- and the less we think about ourselves, the happier we will be. Try it - it really works!! And if you don't "feel" like it- "fake it until you make it."0 -
I don't have a big family and the little family I have (biologically) is drama-packed. So I went through a season of dreading the holidays.
It's important to start fresh and make your own new traditions. Either with the family you have or with some friends. My in-laws have been welcoming and my husband is great. I still find myself feeling a little blue sometimes, so I try to find joy in the little things. I think someone mentioned looking at holiday decorations. Listening to some good holiday music. Baking or cooking a (healthy) comfort meal. Finding a new hobby. Make sure you get plenty of sleep and exercise.
When you're an adult, you have to learn "self-care" and "self-soothing" sounds kinda cheesy, but it's true! Learn how to care for yourself this time of year & make new traditions. That's the best advice I can give from what's helped me. 0 -
I don't want to dread this time of year every year. I want to be able to celebrate. In my line of work I need to be able to lead people in this celebration. Right now I feel like I need people to lead me.
Reread what you wrote - but change the emphasis. I have found personally that the best way to get over the "blues" is to focus on others, not on me. What "I need" is exactly what you said- to be able to lead or help others to be happy. The more we focus on others, the less we think about ourselves- and the less we think about ourselves, the happier we will be. Try it - it really works!! And if you don't "feel" like it- "fake it until you make it."
^yes! This! I didn't even think of this! Find a local organization you can volunteer with. Buy toys for kids and donate them to a toy drive. Focusing on others always helps me forget about me and my problems.0 -
Shorter days with less light, diet changes due to holiday meals, plus personal negative issues with family durning the time of the year when everybody takes family so seriously? Yep that might screw with people a little bit. There is also a clinical name for seasonal depression called SAD(seasonal affective disorder)0
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Depends where you live personally I light the fire sit there and enjoy!I try to get out for a walk every day weather permitting or not! spend time cooking and have a stack of books to read,just simple stuff really,its dark and gloomy light some candles always makes me feel better! we have 5 kids and they are great but at times I need to escape for awhile!0
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This time of year has so much stress attached to it, when lots of us already feel below par due to the lack of daylight, you are certainly not alone. I'm from Scotland, not known for good weather in the winter - or the summer either most years! I'm happy to say this is the first time in YEARS that I've felt fairly upbeat at this time of year. It's probably a mix of things but I reckon a huge part of it is that I'm outside Monday - Friday for around 40 minutes in my lunch break - I can't say I'm getting much sunshine but I'm out in the fresh air - started just with walking but now started couch to 5k (on week 5) - and I mean in all weathers, I wrap up in waterproofs and just go. I no longer feel that afternoon dip where I almost fall asleep at my desk, I'm more alert, and I look forward to my walk/jog every day. I'm stunned I've not missed a day since I started at the end of August. Goodness only knows where the motivation has come from, maybe I just want to escape my work colleagues for a while at lunch time 0
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The only reason I feel "down" would be having to see my sh!tty hillbilly @sshole in-laws, and pretend to be nice to them while I watch my baby boy crawl all over their filthy dog-hair infested house and learn bad habits from them...
I love the holidays otherwise.0 -
yup.
It's all the stress, the gifts, the food, the family, the plans, the everything. Just try to relax and everything will be okay.0 -
I love Christmas but the last few years have been difficult because my husband & I live far away from our families. He also started a business 2 hours away and has been very busy. We will spend Christmas together but it still feels lonely without our families. Hoping to be able to add to our family soon - a child always brings back that innocence and wonder. I still feel that wonder to some extent, but not near as much as I did when I was a kid. Missing the big family gatherings (my aunt had 7 kids, so lots of cousins :-)). Also, this is our first Christmas wihout our 15-year-old kitty
. The ticker picture is of her at Christmas last year having a hey day with the opened boxes 
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i struggle with this too and i think it is for me because i have a vitamin d deficiency in the winter. i always get very moody and crabby this time of year, most of it is just because of all the change and upheaval the holidays bring. we get out of our routine, have a lot of family visitors, changes in our schedule, etc. i am trying so hard to fight it and i've been taking my vitamins but it's usually tough to get through this time of year. i try to do an inventory of what is really "wrong" and i also do a list of what is "right"... sounds cliche but usualy there are more good things.0
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I'm doing OK this year, but I've definitely struggled in the past. Some things that seem to be working for me:
-Vitamin D supplementation. Seriously.
-Exercise more. Mostly walking for me, but if you can force yourself to do it, you will probably feel better.
-Hang out with people. Whether it's volunteering or parties or whatever, find a way to be social. I've had great success with meetup.com this year if you are struggling to meet new people. This one is HUGE.0 -
The holidays are a joyous and happy time for most people, but for those with a reason to not be happy its like jabbing a knife into them in twisting. You mentioned your childhood. My childhood also ruined the holidays until I had my own family and found new reasons to celebrate. If there's a difficult history there, then all I can say is face it find a new way to celebrate in your own way. There are quite a few of us out there with this issue. Always happy to chat.0
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My emotional problems are not just during the holidays but all winter long. I struggle with this every year but am trying some new things out that have seemed to help me. Maybe they can help you as well.
I make sure to get at the very least 10 or 20 minutes of some sort of exercise in the mornings. Most of the time I do not get up early enough to get in a real fat burning work out, but just getting up and at least doing 10 minutes of free step on the wii or doing some crunches or jumping jacks and stretches, or even a couple of the 5min workouts that I have found on pinterest and youtube. It does not have to be as soon as I get up, but within a couple of hours of waking. It really does make my day go better.
I am eating very little processed food. I try to shop only on the outside aisles of the grocery store (except for the almighty coffee aisle and spice aisle) and to keep the majority of my purchases to fresh meat, fruit, veggies and dairy products. I never realized how heavy and draggy the processed food actually made me feel until I almost completely cut it out of my diet.
I also started keeping a journal and writing in it when I was started feeling depressed or emotional. I did notice that most of my more emotional days were when I did not do some sort of exercise in the morning for a few minutes.
I am sure that being able to share your feelings with someone will help as well. Someone who will listen and not judge
I also have heard that one of those greenhouse lights help with winter blues, but that you must not use it at least 3 hours before you go to bed and for no longer than an hour or 2 a day. I have not tried it myself so I cannot say whether it is false or not.
I hope that whatever you decide to do helps you. Just know that you are NOT the only one struggling.0 -
I tend to get moody when the seasons change and christmas time stresses me out becuase of lack of money. I find that when I work out I feel better. If you are feeling down then get up and work out a bit. Even if its for 30 minutes. Try it. Take a kickboxing class. Those fighting classes just make me feel awesome. Try it. I also found that decorating for the holidays puts me in a happy mood also. You can also just go out for a walk and get some sunlight. You will feel better and if you need motivation you can always add me.0
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