Anyone Else Have a Skinny Boyfriend/Partner ?

Graelwyn75
Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
in Motivation and Support
Does it affect you at all ?
Do you ever feel self conscious if you eat more than they do ?
Sort of struggle with this, as although I am lower end of BMI myself, my bf is pretty skinny and tends to be a lot more self controlled around food, which can make me feel really guilty about eating at times when he is not.
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Replies

  • ecw3780
    ecw3780 Posts: 608 Member
    When I met my husband I had about 50 pounds on him. Now I only weigh 10 pounds more (He has gained, I have lost)- but yes it was an issue for me. Especially when it comes to eating more. Then I remind myself that I may eat more, but he tends to eat higher calorie foods. Also, now that he is tracking his calories (and he gets more than me) I know he eats more. Also, I have boobs, and he doesn't- so I tell myself they make up for the weight difference.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I was the skinny partner for 3 years. I am still smaller than my significant other, but part of that is because he is a dude. I am less overweight than him, but I try to let him know I still love him no matter what size he is. He is very self-conscience about his weight gain (probably 30-50 pounds in the last few years) and honestly, I still think he's good looking.

    I don't think he quite believes it himself, though, and that is where it gets hard for him.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,281 Member
    My b/f is one of those fortunate souls who was born with the svelt gene, as I call it. He is in terrific shape....and he is 70 years old!

    Does it make me feel self-conscious? No....I don't think it ever did because he always treated me as if I were as thin as I wished I was. I am lucky in that regard. But, he also eats plenty and doesn't need self control, as he simply burns off everything he eats. It used to make me a little jealous, but not anymore. I get my treats and eat sensibly....and I now weigh less than HE does. :)
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
    My husband isn't skinny by his standards- he'd like to lose 8lbs, so, comparatively speaking, next to me he's skinny. It doesn't bother me; nothing he does makes me feel self-conscious or insecure about my weight versus his. He loves food and i love to cook, so it works out pretty well. He's much better with moderation and portion control than I am, so I try to follow his lead. :)
  • briannadunn
    briannadunn Posts: 841 Member
    I have a tall and skinny husband who has a hyperthyroid and can eat everything and fart and lose 10 pounds. Yes, me and my fat self are very jealous and honestly it bugs the hell out of me. I am the one who had the five kids and packed on the pounds and he gets to enjoy them while I lose all the darn weight.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    My boyfriend is skinny. He eats unhealthy food all the time but doesn't necessarily binge eat like I used to all the time. He eats normal portions and sometimes goes without eating for a long time. But he can eat as much pizza, burgers, pasta etc as he wants and still be skinny. He used to weigh a lot less than me, it is slowly becoming more even now as I lose. We might be around the same weight now :) Goal would definitely be to weigh less than him, especially since he's 6'1" and I'm 5'6".
  • valerieknox
    valerieknox Posts: 45 Member
    Yep, got a skinny partner. He can eat crappy food but doesn't eat a lot of it, and skips meals a lot, so his daily calorie intake isn't that high even if he never needs to restrict himself in the slightest. I'm jealous. But I also think I enjoy eating more than he does. I look forward to every meal and love love love eating them. Even the healthy meals. I get a satisfaction out of food that I don't think he does. That's the reason why I have to have limits for my intake, otherwise I would want to eat non stop.

    So I guess my love for food is both a blessing and a curse...
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Most of the men I've dated were skinny. The three fattest men I dated were the least tolerant of my weight or (in one case after seeing an old photo) my potential to gain weight in the future.

    Besides, I figure if a guy is all bony he'll probably appreciate it if one of us has some padding. :laugh:
  • BranMuffin947
    BranMuffin947 Posts: 104 Member
    My boyfriend, NO BODY FAT, it's crazy. When we first met I was always nervous around him and not thinking about it I ate considerably less. Then when we started getting comfortable with each other I always ate more than him. He realized what was going on & so did I, and thank goodness I caught myself before gaining the weight I lost when I was first talking to him.

    It doesn't bother ME that he's thin, but I do know that it is in the back of his mind that I'm not thin... which sucks knowing so. And it's sort of sad until now, because I have lost about ten lbs recently & he's told me he's happy for me and I look good.

    So he is my motivation in some ways, but not because I feel self conscious around him. Maybe it's more that I know he might feel conscious about me being not so thin as him??

    I've been overweight for quite a while, so I've been comfortable & happy with my body, not realizing that I could look and feel even better.
  • nickyfm
    nickyfm Posts: 1,214 Member
    I could never date a man who made me feel fat. I love a man who can eat. Makes them more manly in my eyes.

    When I was at my slimmest at the beginning of this year, my bf at the time was bordering on chubby, and I adored him. But his size didn't matter to me. A lot of the time he would tell me that he wanted to feed me up coz I was too skinny. I loved it!! :laugh:
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    I could never date a man who made me feel fat. I love a man who can eat. Makes them more manly in my eyes.

    When I was at my slimmest at the beginning of this year, my bf at the time was bordering on chubby, and I adored him. But his size didn't matter to me. A lot of the time he would tell me that he wanted to feed me up coz I was too skinny. I loved it!! :laugh:

    I'm the opposite. A skinny man who can eat and eat and eat and never gain weight just annoys me. It's so unfair!
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Cook well and fatten him up.
  • horseplaypen
    horseplaypen Posts: 442 Member
    My boyfriend is currently having a challenge with another guy at the gym to see who will be the first to hit 190 lbs. They are TRYING to gain weight, and STRUGGLING. It makes me want to tear my hair out. :) But the thing I'm most envious of is that my boyfriend just doesn't see food the way I do... although he appreciates good cuisine, most of the time it's fuel for him and nothing more. He rarely has cravings, and never binges (though even if he did, he could probably use the calories). He just doesn't seem to think about food if it's not in front of him.

    I don't feel weird or self-conscious around him though (well, I do, but I would regardless of HIS size), and fortunately he's very concerned about eating healthy so we don't usually keep junk in the house, so at least that's helpful.
  • Kitty7814
    Kitty7814 Posts: 52
    My husband is much thinner than I am, though I wouldn't call him skinny. It does make me more self conscious about my weight because I feel terrible when he's 6" taller than me and I weigh more than he does. He has always eaten more than I have even before I started getting serious about losing weight, so that's not so much an issue but what we're eating was. I told him that I was going to start using myfitnesspal and tracking my calories etc., and he's been really supportive of that and changing what we're eating.

    I would say that it's no good to feel guilty about eating more than he does, but at the same time it could be helpful for you, keep you from snacking or when you do making sure it's the right kind of snacking to keep from feeling guilty. I know that having my hubby around helps me personally feel more accountable for my goals of what I'm eating, when I'm working out and how I'm progressing.
  • kittenbobitten
    kittenbobitten Posts: 199 Member
    My boyfriend is a well-built, muscular military guy who is just hot! LOL! I always wonder how we ended up together. I was 325 when we met, and he was strong enough to be able to pick me up and carry me around, and has, many a time. I love it. He has never had issues with my weight, at all. He only wants me to be happy, healthy and comfortable with myself.

    So I have personal feelings about it but I try not to let it interfere since they are only MY issues. And he is a total meat and potatoes guy. He loves pasta and fattening food and very few veggies. He is king of the midnight McDonald's run! So eating junk around him never really matter.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    My boyfriend is a twig, can eat whatever he wants and frequently packs back about 3000 calories in snacks in the course of an evening. It never bothered me before so why should it bother me now? He is not the one gaining weight. It is not his responsibility to control my eating habits. I gained my weight because I was keeping up with him :) Now I snack less, problem solved.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    When I met my husband, he was 20 lbs heavier than me. Shortly after our son was born, I weighed 58 lbs more than him.


    Now, I weigh 76 lbs less than him.


    His weight has not changed. Mine has. But his weight in relationship to mine has never had an impact on my level of confidence.


    He has always loved me for me, not for a number on a scale. Oh, and he loves the fact that I can *sometimes* pound back more food than him.
  • kat5556
    kat5556 Posts: 164 Member
    Before I was married I had a rule - never date anyone with a small behind than me! So, yes, my husband is bigger than me. :)
  • shrinkingislander
    shrinkingislander Posts: 315 Member
    Had a very skinny ex husband and than a very chubby boyfriend, I was fat with both of them, hence I can't blame it on them!
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    My boyfriend is a well-built, muscular military guy who is just hot! LOL! I always wonder how we ended up together. I was 325 when we met, and he was strong enough to be able to pick me up and carry me around, and has, many a time. I love it. He has never had issues with my weight, at all. He only wants me to be happy, healthy and comfortable with myself.

    So I have personal feelings about it but I try not to let it interfere since they are only MY issues. And he is a total meat and potatoes guy. He loves pasta and fattening food and very few veggies. He is king of the midnight McDonald's run! So eating junk around him never really matter.

    Nice!!!!
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    When my fiancee and I stared dating, I was 300 pounds, 170 pound MORE. Never once in my relationship I've even felt unsexy or fat because of my partner. I've always been told how much I'm loved and how sexy I am. I couldn't ask for anything better.
  • Chessie24
    Chessie24 Posts: 60
    I've normally dated people who were of the same weight of smaller than I was. When I started dating my husband 6yrs ago she was only 15lbs heavier than me. After awhile I was 10-15lbs heavier than him.. Now he has 60-65lbs on me. He has loved me and been with me through my heaviest times and I'm grateful for that. The man can eat, he always wants to bulk up and cut weight but enjoy him just the way he is. A guy's gotta be sturdy.
  • AislinnKitten
    AislinnKitten Posts: 18 Member
    My boyfriend has been fit since we met and started seeing each other, and has only gotten more fit since then, haha. He he very nicely built and plans on getting bigger, stronger and healthier where as I feel like I'm a human potato next to him. Although I know he loves me as I am, it doesn't make looking at our pictures any easier when I look like a beluga next to mister tall, dark and handsome! haha. It does make me feel self conscious at times when I go to have a snack or if I finish first or even after he's done eating, and well any situation that involves food really, haha. It's something along with a couple other things I'm working on dealing with, haha. Luckily he's a great bf to me and does his very best to make me know he thinks I'm beautiful as I am, whilst motivating me to get to where I want to be. Got to love that fit *kitten*! haha.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    Heh, mine has cycled most of his life, so guessing that is one reason, and he is just a very odd build. Pigeon chested which makes his bones show more, which makes him look thinner, very narrow build and has no interest in being bigger or stronger. He simply has accepted he is a puny wimp and claims he tried weights and the like and it changed nothing. He is almost 6 foot and only between 147 and 154Ibs, usually below 154. I did get him up to 160 at one point by buying him extra food, but I cannot be doing that forever, the cost was phenomenal, lol.

    He will eat 6 eggs in one go, or get through a whole packet of cookies and some stollen, but then not have anything else til dinner, so I suppose that is part of why he is thin, but then he claims even eating 3 big meals a day, nothing changed and he is just the way he is.

    I tend to like to snack after dinner, that is my eating style since I stay up til 2am or so and dinner is around 9.
    I am certainly fretting about xmas as he is coming with me to my family for the first time, and I feel, given my insecurity, I will end up feeling unable to eat when I am hungry, if I am the only one eating at that time. I am that insecure about it. Obviously, I do have some eating disordered thinking patterns, and having a thin bf has certainly bought them out to a pretty bad point. I am still at least around 14Ibs less than him, and only an inch or two shorter, but in my eyes, still bigger.
  • petersonabt
    petersonabt Posts: 518 Member
    My husband has been the skinny one for 6 years..i felt weird like we didn't belong together. He's a pretty attractive man and always thought he could do better, but he told me how beautiful I was through it all. he's been such a support system. I finally have smaller hips and waistline then him.
  • LucyT4dieting
    LucyT4dieting Posts: 284 Member
    I've always been attracted to skinny guys. My first husband was skinny when I met him, but started to gain weight over the years. By the time we divorced, he was obese. Of course, this was not the reason for the divorce, but I have to admit, I was not attracted to him at all in the end. Not only is my second husband skinny, but his whole family is! They are also all very health conscious, which has helped me to pay more attention to what I am eating. My goal was to get to the weight I was when we met, and I've achieved that goal. Now the question is, can I maintain it? I'm hoping so.
  • tidesong
    tidesong Posts: 451 Member
    My boyfriend is quite skinny. Doesn't really make me feel any different about myself...I do that to myself. He never gives me a hard time, he eats more than I do, but that doesn't bother me. Actually, he's lost some weight because of the dinners I prepare now. I tell him he has to take the initiative to eat more throughout the day and at lunch, but he doesn't. He really doesn't have any more weight to lose! So I worry about him not getting enough.
  • Restlessme
    Restlessme Posts: 191 Member
    We're friends now, but when we dated I did feel self-conscious, always. It was never anything he did specifically, I just hated taking pictures with him because it was like the number 10 (him being the skinny 1 and I being the round 0).

    He never made me feel like he was judging me and often told me how beautiful I was, but my self-esteem has always been a bit on the low side.
  • OspreyVista
    OspreyVista Posts: 464 Member
    It effects me only because he eats A LOT of food and doesn't gain anything, ever. *grumbles* But that's the only reason why it bothers me.
  • cjsacto
    cjsacto Posts: 1,421 Member
    I am taller and heavier than my bf and I know my weight bothers him a lot. We look like an odd couple in photos.

    He doesn't understand eating back burned calories or eating several small meals throughout the day so I feel very self-conscious and I am not eating enough some days. He is trying to be supportive and tells me he is proud of what I am doing to get fit, but I also get "it's about time" vibes from him. We have been together 10 years and I was 170 when we met (not thin but looked pretty good), but he didn't realize I had recently lost weight... which I soon gained back. At my heaviest I outweighed him by 40 lbs. Honestly, I think I embarrass him but some of that is coming from myself.

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