will someone help? please

Options
So not too long ago I started losing weight and eating a high of 1200 Cal's a day with little exercise
I came down to 112 lbs from 140lbs by Doing this.
I'm now trying to up my calories.
I've been eating 1400-1700 Cal's a day but also been burning.at least 600 Cal's.
I'm so scared of gaining and I find myself constantly not wanting to eat high Cal foods.
I also have an obsession with looking up healthy foods and watching documentaries on food.
I'm now approx 109 lbs and don't want to lose more but find myself constantly checking my weight.hoping it'll go down even thoughi know its not healthy if it goes.down any lower.
I'm scared I might have.some kind of eating.disorder.
Am I pushing myself to much?

Replies

  • AndrewAviator
    Options
    I definitely understand you, there was a time period in my life where i was obsessed with all of that, i know it's not easy but you just have to learn to listen to your body and stop worrying about ur weight and instead focusing on your health, hope this helped and feel free to add me if you want to talk more :)
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Options
    If you want, check out this link by MFPer Heliotsdan - http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    It'll give you a detailed walkthrough (with pictures even) on finding your TDEE and calculating what you should be eating.

    Also, if you are worried about the calorie intake, I also suggest you read this thread that has numerous people who met their goals and are maintaining. Some for years and they also provide their calorie intake and how often they work out.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/816542-let-s-hear-it-for-maintainenance

    As for your worries about having an eating disorder - it sounds like it. I'd seek help and get a professional opinion as soon as possible.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Options
    To be honest, if you have developed a fear of food/eating you really should think about getting professional help.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    Options
    Well, I think you probably already know the answer to that question. It may not be one you're happy with, but I would recommend talking to a doctor. Just to confirm that you are healthy and in a good place emotionally/mentally, and if you are not, find ways to nip this in the bud NOW. You seem like you have you're goals in order from the looks of the info on your profile, but in my honest opinion you look a bit underweight. Of course I can't tell for sure.
    Take care of yourself!
  • lilteeraw
    Options
    I mean I love food and I'm not so much afraid of eating it
    I'm just afraid of eating.too much of it and too many cals.
    Idk. Lol
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Options
    I mean I love food and I'm not so much afraid of eating it
    I'm just afraid of eating.too much of it and too many cals.
    Idk. Lol

    You are worrying about eating too many calories and are depriving yourself. You say you eat 1400-1700 calories. At 1400 and you are doing a 600 burn workout..which means you are really only getting 800 calories. At 1700 - that's still only 1100 calories. And you said at least a 600 cal burn.

    Check out the link about those maintaining. Many included their workout schedules..2-4 times a week for some. And they are eating 1700-2300 calories.

    Edited because I misread something...
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Options
    Okay, I skimmed through your diary real quick. You are getting 700-1000 calories after exercise.

    I did your TDEE via the link I gave and I don't know your height but I put 5'3 to get this info.

    According to the site:

    Activity Level Daily Calories
    Sedentary (little or no exercise, desk job) 1609
    Lightly Active (light exercise/sports 1-3 days/wk) 1844
    Moderately Active (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/wk) 2079
    Very Active (hard exercise/sports 6-7 days/wk) 2313
    Extremely Active (hard daily exercise/sports & physical job or 2X day training, i.e marathon, contest etc.) 2548

    At moderate you'd have to be eating around 2000 calories. But after seeing your workouts...you'd probably fit more with Very Active which means you should up your calories to 2313.

    Edited to correct typo
  • lilteeraw
    Options
    Wow! You got my height spot on! Lol
    2300 calories seems like so much to me:/
    I feel hungriest in the morning so I'll try to.incorporate
    Most of.my calories then.
    I'm just super scared that I'll gain weight and I have worked so hard to lose that I don't wanna gain!
    Lol
  • wild_wild_life
    wild_wild_life Posts: 1,334 Member
    Options
    It sounds like you need to educate yourself on the appropriate number of calories to maintain your weight. There is no need to fear regaining, it won't just happen overnight for no reason, you can control it. Understand that you need to experiment with calorie intake and up it slowly until your loss slows down and then you maintain. If you gain a pound or two in the process, you can easily lose it again. I was also afraid of regaining at first but with a little trial and error I have figured out what works for me and feel completely in control of my weight. You can do it too.
  • Robin_Bin
    Robin_Bin Posts: 1,046 Member
    Options
    1) You are not eating enough to maintain your weight and activity level. (In fact you aren't eating enough to maintain without exercise.)
    2) You are scared to eat more.
    3) You want to lose more even though you know it's not healthy.

    It is a problem? What do you think?

    Because you're deprived your body, yes, when you eat a reasonable amount, you may have a slight gain. But since you're already lower than you originally wanted, you could gain a couple of pounds while you're learning how to balance. Several people who have successfully maintained a healthy weight suggest having a range instead of just a single number to aim at maintaining.

    Congratulations on losing the weight you wanted. Good luck learning how to live a long, healthy life!

    Edited after re-reading your original post.
  • lilteeraw
    Options
    Thanks for all your responses. I hope I can do better!
  • castell5
    castell5 Posts: 234 Member
    Options
    I just looked at your photos. I have three daughters. I can honestly tell you, you are getting too thin. Too thin, is not attractive, nor is too heavy. There is a happy medium and if you put on 7 lbs.. you'd be closer to the happy medium then you are at right now.
    You want your clothing to look nice on you, accentuate what you have. Not look like clothes on a hanger.
    If you seriously think you are starting to slip in to any kind of disorder, seek professional help right away. It can become too late and too extreme.
    You reached out, so consciously you know you don't want to go there. Don't.
  • healthylife56
    Options
    If you are starting to fear food, that's a sign you need to focus on. You shouldn't feel like you can only eat "healthy" foods and fear "unhealthy" foods. Fear of gaining weight and having your life revolve around food sounds like the start of an unhealthy relationship with food. Food is not something to be scared of. It's what fuels you. You're not eating enough.

    I'm really happy you recognize this early on though. Please seek help if needed but don't let this spiral out of control. Don't worry so much and enjoy life :)
  • healthylife56
    Options
    I just looked at your photos. I have three daughters. I can honestly tell you, you are getting too thin. Too thin, is not attractive, nor is too heavy. There is a happy medium and if you put on 7 lbs.. you'd be closer to the happy medium then you are at right now.
    You want your clothing to look nice on you, accentuate what you have. Not look like clothes on a hanger.
    If you seriously think you are starting to slip in to any kind of disorder, seek professional help right away. It can become too late and too extreme.
    You reached out, so consciously you know you don't want to go there. Don't.

    ^^ THIS.

    I'm also 5'3-5'4 and I weigh 128 pounds and I get lots of compliments. Don't worry about the number on the scale...just make your body strong and healthy!
  • lilteeraw
    Options
    Well like the thing is... I love learning.about foods and health and stuff... so idk if I'm just randomly really interested in food or if its an eating disorder that's triggering my liking for learning about.food. but I.know I am small. I'm not trying to lose. Its just super hard cause I.still.have some belly fat that I want to go away. I don't wanna lose but.I wanna lose that fat
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Options
    Well like the thing is... I love learning.about foods and health and stuff... so idk if I'm just randomly really interested in food or if its an eating disorder that's triggering my liking for learning about.food. but I.know I am small. I'm not trying to lose. Its just super hard cause I.still.have some belly fat that I want to go away. I don't wanna lose but.I wanna lose that fat

    Ummm..what fat? You are a 109lbs at 5'3. I really think you need to seek professional help asap. Talk to your doctor and work with them. Maybe even collaborate with a dietitian/nutritionist and seek out counseling.

    Editted to add - You liking to learn about food is fine. You being scared to eat is NOT fine. You thinking you still have fat to lose is not okay.
  • healthylife56
    Options
    Well like the thing is... I love learning.about foods and health and stuff... so idk if I'm just randomly really interested in food or if its an eating disorder that's triggering my liking for learning about.food. but I.know I am small. I'm not trying to lose. Its just super hard cause I.still.have some belly fat that I want to go away. I don't wanna lose but.I wanna lose that fat

    I think that's tough. There's a thin line between being interested and then being obsessed with it. Talking from experience, I was in the same situation you were in. I was at this point and it led to an eating disorder. I'm not saying you will have it too but I don't want to see anyone else going through what I went through. It took 2 years of my life and it was all for nothing in the end.

    Try toning, strength training, yoga. But eat more. Eating less will not tone up places. You'll just continue to drop the number on the scale. Yes, eventually the weight will go low enough that you'll have that flat belly but it's not worth it then. It's not healthy.

    Just don't fear food.

    Be positive :)
  • lilteeraw
    Options
    Okay.. well I eat whenever I am hungry and I'm always full at the end.of the day now but can get past like 1500 Cal's. :
  • healthylife56
    Options
    Okay.. well I eat whenever I am hungry and I'm always full at the end.of the day now but can get past like 1500 Cal's. :

    Since you don't need to lose any weight, eat at your TDEE. The easiest way to up the calories is eating things like nuts. Food that has higher calories and is good for you. It's easy to incorporate into your daily eating too.
  • lilteeraw
    Options
    Thank you so much for your input:)