Open your food log to others or not, that's the question.

2

Replies

  • Don't like people who don't have open journals? Fine. Don't friend them. Otherwise - why do you care, outside of a need to find some way to make yourself feel superior to how you are losing weight?

    Food is a deeply personal relationship for lots of people. Implying that other people are not committed simply because they don't want to publicly air that is just plain being nosey and overconcerned with what others are doing. (And this comes from someone with an open journal. Who cares, really?)

    ^^^^Well said
  • Sarah1023
    Sarah1023 Posts: 194 Member
    I love your passion, but you're extremely concerned about someone like me that chooses to keep my diary private?! What I eat, how I get my calories is my business, no one else's. If for some reason what I was doing wasn't getting results and I *needed* help, then yes, I'd probably open it up to my friends so they could point out where I'm going wrong. But at this point, my diary is private. I'm fully able to hold myself accountable and it's working. Why fix something that isn't broken?

    ^^ditto!
  • CLW614
    CLW614 Posts: 7 Member
    I keep my diary open to my friends, but I have no problem with people keeping there's closed. It's no skin off my back, and I doubt I'd really look anyway unless someone specifically asked me to. I kept a food journal before I found MFP...the old fashioned way, pen and paper. It wasn't open to anybody obviously.

    I don't personally keep a food journal because I need people to comb through it and make suggestions or whatever...I keep a food journal because I'm tracking my calories and macros as well as sat fat intake and sodium intake due to health reasons. I can pretty much do that on my own...I'm an accountant and I'm pretty good things like this, as well as finding solutions to "budgetary" issues (i.e. my nutrition budget). If I want someone's advice, I'll ask for it. If I think a friend has some particularly good nutrition ideas, I might ask them if I could take a peek at their diary...otherwise, I really don't care what anyone else is doing.

    ^^^^^ THIS^^^^ minus the Accountant thing :) And the fact that I have mine closed....
  • lacurandera1
    lacurandera1 Posts: 8,083 Member
    I have often considered deleting people on my fl who have private diaries. it seems silly.

    Edited to say: Just as I have deleted people who consistently under eat. I am suspicious that they go hand in hand.
  • spearfox
    spearfox Posts: 276 Member
    I could care less.
    My food diary is open. I don't hit complete. Don't log my water either.
    A few people have made comments about my choices.
    There have been a few that added me because of the open diary.
    If someone wants to talk to me about my food choices, lack thereof or poor logging that's fine ny me.
    I know it bothers others so I don't get on their case at the slightest infraction. I also believe in cheat days.
  • BlueObsidian
    BlueObsidian Posts: 297 Member
    I know some people will think I am wrong or am making a big deal out of something little, but I honestly don't understand why anyone would want to share their exercise, their thoughts for the day, their successess, their encouragements to others, and not their food logs. To me, it just doesn't make sense.

    So? I don't know you. You aren't a friend of mine. Why would I care what you think about my food log? Particularly since you seem to just be judging those of us that are private? I have no need to be judged by others. I'm following a nutrition plan that works for me. Perhaps you should focus on your own weight loss plan and stop worrying about what anyone else is doing?

    I don't need random strangers on the internet to make me accountable. I've relied on others for motivation in the past. All it does is lead to more weight gain. I have to get healthy for ME, not because I want other people to be impressed by what I eat today.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I spend more time goofing around with my friends on my home page than anything else. If someone has something specific they need my help with, I don't have any problems doing what I can...but generally speaking I'm not very good with the "atta boys" and "keep it up" stuff. When it comes down to it, the people I've known who have had the most success have found a way to motivate themselves and change their lives...they may have needed a kick in the pants from time to time along the way, but for the most part, they have found a way to be self-motivators. I don't know...that's just been my experience.
  • kschhr
    kschhr Posts: 103 Member
    I've been about 99% vegetarian this year, and I don't want someone giving me **** if they see I've had chicken.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I've been about 99% vegetarian this year, and I don't want someone giving me **** if they see I've had chicken.

    What the ****.....you had ****ing chicken! :tongue:
  • rfsatar
    rfsatar Posts: 599 Member
    I've been about 99% vegetarian this year, and I don't want someone giving me **** if they see I've had chicken.

    ooooh I can top that... I put up a friend and generously said they were willing to share in whatever I was cooking on the day... only to have them grumble about not enough meat (I switch between chicken, fish, veggie in a week... mainly because I am too damn stupid to remember to take food out the freezer)...
    That was a real life person in my house... not even some nosey random on the internetz!

    Guess who's never staying here again!
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    lol WUT

    It is not that serious. If it bothers you that much then just don't friend anyone who has a closed diary. You can't make others open their diaries if they don't want to so why be 'extremely concerned'?? That reeks a bit of control freak-ism.
  • Sounds like you are the kind of person who has little willpower and will cheat if you haven't got someone looking over your shoulder. That's fine, open your food log and get the opinions of others.

    I am not one of those people, so I'll keep mine private thank you very much and carry on losing 2lbs a week.

    At one point, I was a person with little willpower, but I was also a person who didn't realize I was sensitive to carbohydrates. I never would have known it nor would I be able to lose so much weight without the opening of my journal and the opening of my heart. For me, I had to admit I was in trouble before I could fix it.

    Some don't need it, some do. I am glad you are doing well. Keep up the good work and never give up.
  • I've been about 99% vegetarian this year, and I don't want someone giving me **** if they see I've had chicken.

    What the ****.....you had ****ing chicken! :tongue:

    LMAO:laugh:
  • kschhr
    kschhr Posts: 103 Member
    I've been about 99% vegetarian this year, and I don't want someone giving me **** if they see I've had chicken.

    ooooh I can top that... I put up a friend and generously said they were willing to share in whatever I was cooking on the day... only to have them grumble about not enough meat (I switch between chicken, fish, veggie in a week... mainly because I am too damn stupid to remember to take food out the freezer)...
    That was a real life person in my house... not even some nosey random on the internetz!

    Guess who's never staying here again!
    That's always fun. Or the friend who wants to share food when they go out. "Let's get a burger!" ".. A veggie burger?" "Oh, right. Let's not share."
  • turtleohs
    turtleohs Posts: 127 Member
    I keep mine open to others because I do feel it helps me think twice before I put something in my mouth. I think everyone is being really rude saying that someone has no will-power just because this helps them!

    Everyone uses MFP for different reasons and different ways, some things work well for others, and some things don't and I think we all have to accept that and move on. I don't mind so much if someones diary is private, but personally it helps me to have it open.

    I think all around maybe everyone should be less judgmental!
  • I know I personally started using MFP again as a way to track my food for myself - not as much because I'm counting calories, but because I'm tracking protein and ensuring I meet my vitamins daily. It's been said over and over on here - not everyone has the same goal. Yes, I am losing weight, but I'm under medical care doing it so my daily goal is significantly lower than most and it's important that I meet other nutrition goals - which is why I'm here. After reading through several threads such as this one, I'm tempted to make my diary private because of the assumptions about people and the snide comments about undereating when we're all on here for our own reasons and otherwise strangers:ohwell:
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
    I think some have to think about why they came to MFP in the first place. Did you come to use the food and exercise logs? Did you come for advice from others who know your plight? Do you feel that you have no clue how to lose weight or to maintain your health? How can others help you if you aren't ready to give them the information they need in order to give a bit of advice?

    Exactly. You don't know why others are here, so don't get yourself "extremely concerned" over this.
  • rfsatar
    rfsatar Posts: 599 Member
    I've been about 99% vegetarian this year, and I don't want someone giving me **** if they see I've had chicken.

    ooooh I can top that... I put up a friend and generously said they were willing to share in whatever I was cooking on the day... only to have them grumble about not enough meat (I switch between chicken, fish, veggie in a week... mainly because I am too damn stupid to remember to take food out the freezer)...
    That was a real life person in my house... not even some nosey random on the internetz!

    Guess who's never staying here again!
    That's always fun. Or the friend who wants to share food when they go out. "Let's get a burger!" ".. A veggie burger?" "Oh, right. Let's not share."

    Even better... same friend... would happily nab my chips (fries for y'all in the US) when I bought a bowl after classes... but HEAVEN FORFEND that we should nab a chip back when they bought some... excuse being "I'm broke and I have to travel back so this is my dinner..." uh huh... I just walked out of a well paid IT job to be a penniless journo... you think I paid for my fries with magic pixie dust, and that I don't need dinner too?

    But now I have the secret weapon... they seemed to have an aversion to anything "veggie"... 'tis an awesome weapon of food-stealer-destruction! :-)
  • hattie491145
    hattie491145 Posts: 85 Member
    Of course there are vastly more important issues going on in the world, but since we're here...I like it when people have open logs, I'm interested in the correlation between what people eat and their progress and I'm a real foodie who is generally interested/nosy about recipe/eating ideas. I don't have strong feelings about people not having open diaries. I will say that for me, I think it is essential - i know that if i am considering not logging something i probably shouldnt be eating it or I am not making healthy choices. I've always been a secret eater (pre-mfp) and the feelings of guilt/shame that went with that contributed to the cycle of self neglect. This evening, I was too exhausted to cook and have a night of helping others ahead. When I debated going to the fish and chip shop I said to myself - do i want to log this, what will people think, does this mean I will stop logging til after christmas etc In the end I logged it, and I'm glad. The openness allows me to own my decisions, make this a life plan without sliding into self-punishment, guilt and the shame that leads to binging. Haven't done this once since I started logging. It works for me, but each to their own I say :)
  • MzRjS
    MzRjS Posts: 7 Member
    To each their own, but I do think commenting "WTG" or "Great job!" on someone's diary that is private is silly. Someone could eat nothing but a box of ding dongs all day and still come in under. That's hardly a good job. :sick: But it's really not a huge deal if they don't want to share with me or other friends. I just am unable to provide much encouragement having little to no idea what they're eating. :ohwell: That typically results in them providing little encouragement to me, and eventually me unfriending them because it's pointless (to me) to have "friends" I'm not actually interacting with.
  • Whether or not you open it or not is ultimately a personal choice. And no, I didn't say I would cheat if I didn't open my log to others, but I did say that it helps to keep me honest with others and with myself.

    I have been overweight all of my life. I have struggled for years with my weight. I have been a yo-yo dieter for years. I would gain weight while others lost on the same program.

    I am glad I opened my diary to others because it was a way to publicly OWN UP to my weight loss goals. It also saved my life. I didn't realize there were problems with me physically until I opened up my logs so that others could see. A MFP friend saw my log and made the suggestion to go see my doctor about it. I printed out the logs and took them to him. He was alerted by certain things and with his advice, I learned how to lose the weight by doing things a bit differently than what most people were doing. I didn't know I was sensitive to carbohydrates. I didn't know I was messing up.

    I said before that FOR ME it was the right choice.

    I never for one moment thought that I would see such venomous and rude things that some have written. So much for a decent public forum. I don't think I gained anything out of this at all except some possible hatred from those who think I am self righteous, or nosey or to caught up in others and their business to worry about my own. I think you missed the point and just thought you would make yourselves feel superior to me by asserting yourselves in a rude way. I wanted a healthy debate, not a judging of my personality or an attack on how I thought. Niiiice. Whatever gets you through the day, man. Don't bother trying to keep the conversation going, because I won't be back. Peace out.
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
    I have my food log open to Friends. Some of my MFP Friends keep their food logs closed to everyone but themselves. So what? Does my not reading their food log make them gain weight? Weight loss is ultimately a very personal journey. You decide what goes in your mouth. I'm not the food police. I'm not your mom. You decide what you eat, how much of it and when. I only care about what I'm eating. I honestly don't care what others eat. I'm here for me. I have several great friends here and luckily they have been very supportive, but their journies are their own.
  • vypeters
    vypeters Posts: 475 Member
    What if you don't want others input on your food? I have friends for support. If they want my input on their food log, I hope they'll ask for it but otherwise I don't go checking them out.

    I'm accountable to me. Being here every day and logging every bite every day keeps me mindful and aware of what I'm eating. I log good days, bad days, every day. What my friends provide is support and encouragement to keep me coming back every day.

    I don't want unsolicited advice from anyone but people I know very well and trust to only offer it in serious situations. An open food log is like an advertisement: "Please, give me your opinion on my eating so I can either respond awkwardly and pretend I care or ignore you and offend you."
  • tidesong
    tidesong Posts: 451 Member
    I don't have an open food log, and that is because I log my food elsewhere. I move my calorie count over at the end of the day. I like the site I use for food logging better than the logging here. I log every single thing that makes its way into my stomach.

    So don't be so quick to judge just because someone doesn't have their food log open. They may be like me and log it another way, or may have other reasons.
  • IrishHarpy1
    IrishHarpy1 Posts: 399 Member
    I am extremely concerned when it comes to people on MFP who won't share their food logs.

    You really don't have anything of more importance to be concerned about?
    If you want to lose weight, and you are friends with others on MFP, why wouldn't you want the encouragement one receives when they SEE what you've put in your face?

    Because I can do it myself. Not everyone needs a cheer squad.
    I think some have to think about why they came to MFP in the first place. Did you come to use the food and exercise logs?

    Yes, I did. Key word: I. For ME. I didn't do it for YOU.
    Did you come for advice from others who know your plight? Do you feel that you have no clue how to lose weight or to maintain your health? How can others help you if you aren't ready to give them the information they need in order to give a bit of advice?

    If I have a question, I will provide the necessary information it would require to get an answer.
    People can tell you all day how to do something but ultimately it is up to you.

    Exactly. So why does having a closed or open diary make any difference?
    Keeping a food journal makes a person responsible and accountable for what they put in their face. It is also a known fact that those who do keep a food journal lose more weight than those who don't.

    Please cite your sources for this information.
    I thought about it when I first came to MFP. Do I really want people seeing what I ate? No, I didn't, but when I found myself cheating and not getting anywhere I knew that I did it because there was no accountability. There was anonymity but no accountability. Now that I share with others what I put in my face, it makes me responsible for my loss or gain. It puts a fire up my butt to get off of it and exercise. It makes me accountable for MY loss or gain. Complete honesty with others and especially with yourself is a part of your winning at losing.

    Just because you can't control what you put in your mouth or exercise if no one is watching, doesn't mean others can't.
    Am I off base? Have I crossed a line?

    It's just none of your business what others do.

    I know some people will think I am wrong or am making a big deal out of something little, but I honestly don't understand why anyone would want to share their exercise, their thoughts for the day, their successess, their encouragements to others, and not their food logs. To me, it just doesn't make sense.

    It's none of your business. You don't have to understand why people don't care about sharing what they ate for lunch with you.


    Edit to add: Not everyone is here for the same reason.

    I think I love you. :flowerforyou:
  • Applegondi69
    Applegondi69 Posts: 54 Member
    My diary is open by choice whatever anyone does is their business!! However, everyone could use a tip SURELY!!!!! :smile:
  • rfsatar
    rfsatar Posts: 599 Member
    Whether or not you open it or not is ultimately a personal choice. And no, I didn't say I would cheat if I didn't open my log to others, but I did say that it helps to keep me honest with others and with myself.

    I have been overweight all of my life. I have struggled for years with my weight. I have been a yo-yo dieter for years. I would gain weight while others lost on the same program.

    I am glad I opened my diary to others because it was a way to publicly OWN UP to my weight loss goals. It also saved my life. I didn't realize there were problems with me physically until I opened up my logs so that others could see. A MFP friend saw my log and made the suggestion to go see my doctor about it. I printed out the logs and took them to him. He was alerted by certain things and with his advice, I learned how to lose the weight by doing things a bit differently than what most people were doing. I didn't know I was sensitive to carbohydrates. I didn't know I was messing up.

    I said before that FOR ME it was the right choice.

    I never for one moment thought that I would see such venomous and rude things that some have written. So much for a decent public forum. I don't think I gained anything out of this at all except some possible hatred from those who think I am self righteous, or nosey or to caught up in others and their business to worry about my own. I think you missed the point and just thought you would make yourselves feel superior to me by asserting yourselves in a rude way. I wanted a healthy debate, not a judging of my personality or an attack on how I thought. Niiiice. Whatever gets you through the day, man. Don't bother trying to keep the conversation going, because I won't be back. Peace out.

    Well in fairness that's not quite true - you asked some specific questions about people's motives, and voiced your "concern" about those motives if they don't declare all and sundry to anyone.
    You specifically challenged the motives of people who log but do not share... and as such got responses from people who feel no need for additional accountability.

    It is easy to filled with a sense of missionary zeal when you find something that works for you - you just want to share and advise in the hope that someone else can gain from your experiences.

    I was astounded at how many people I knew in RL who were already on MFP!
    On the flip side... someone I thought was a friend had nothing but scorn for what I was doing... even though I have been steadily losing weight... so.... lesson learned there for me...

    So... it's fab that you have tapped into something that has really helped you on your journey, I just don't need to do the same to see success on my journey... and I exercised my right on a public forum to say so.
    Best of luck in the rest of your endeavours.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    Accountability is never to anyone but yourself. If you can't lose weight without sharing a Food Diary, then by all means share away. But don't start preaching to others that they don't know what they are doing.

    I lost 55 pounds using MFP (with a closed diary, and not a bajillion friends). That was in 2007-08. I've kept it off. All questions food-related can be answered without seeing someone's food diary.

    Nunnyabidness.
  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
    Whether or not you open it or not is ultimately a personal choice. And no, I didn't say I would cheat if I didn't open my log to others, but I did say that it helps to keep me honest with others and with myself.

    I have been overweight all of my life. I have struggled for years with my weight. I have been a yo-yo dieter for years. I would gain weight while others lost on the same program.

    I am glad I opened my diary to others because it was a way to publicly OWN UP to my weight loss goals. It also saved my life. I didn't realize there were problems with me physically until I opened up my logs so that others could see. A MFP friend saw my log and made the suggestion to go see my doctor about it. I printed out the logs and took them to him. He was alerted by certain things and with his advice, I learned how to lose the weight by doing things a bit differently than what most people were doing. I didn't know I was sensitive to carbohydrates. I didn't know I was messing up.

    I said before that FOR ME it was the right choice.

    I never for one moment thought that I would see such venomous and rude things that some have written. So much for a decent public forum. I don't think I gained anything out of this at all except some possible hatred from those who think I am self righteous, or nosey or to caught up in others and their business to worry about my own. I think you missed the point and just thought you would make yourselves feel superior to me by asserting yourselves in a rude way. I wanted a healthy debate, not a judging of my personality or an attack on how I thought. Niiiice. Whatever gets you through the day, man. Don't bother trying to keep the conversation going, because I won't be back. Peace out.

    Well in fairness that's not quite true - you asked some specific questions about people's motives, and voiced your "concern" about those motives if they don't declare all and sundry to anyone.
    You specifically challenged the motives of people who log but do not share... and as such got responses from people who feel no need for additional accountability.

    It is easy to filled with a sense of missionary zeal when you find something that works for you - you just want to share and advise in the hope that someone else can gain from your experiences.

    I was astounded at how many people I knew in RL who were already on MFP!
    On the flip side... someone I thought was a friend had nothing but scorn for what I was doing... even though I have been steadily losing weight... so.... lesson learned there for me...

    So... it's fab that you have tapped into something that has really helped you on your journey, I just don't need to do the same to see success on my journey... and I exercised my right on a public forum to say so.
    Best of luck in the rest of your endeavours.

    Thank you. I was just going to say that I'm gob-smacked that someone puts something up for public debate then doesn't want debate. But you were much more tactful.
  • EvilShenanigansTX
    EvilShenanigansTX Posts: 143 Member
    You may have joined MFP to get ideas/motivation/help from others, but I did not. I joined so that I'd have a place to log my calories every day and see my macros. That's pretty much it. Yes, I check the community section once in awhile, but I don't need anyone else to validate what I'm doing. It works for me. The fact that you are "extremely concerned" about me is overly dramatic and ridiculous. You worry about you. I'll worry about me. Thanks :)

    MTE