Still the fat girl..

Oh, honey. My first thought was that he wants to keep you all to himself, and doesn't want the other guys to see you because of that. Is he supportive and loving? I think you look amazing, and you should be very proud of the progress you made. Not only that, but you know you can reach your goal if you keep at it. Can you talk to him about it?

I can understand why you feel upset but you're right, your own insecurity could be eating away at you. Just remember he loves you and don't always assume the worst. Why not talk to him about how you feel and see what he says?

I don't know you or how big you are but you look like a beautiful girl and I'm sure with a bit of will power you will achieve what you want to achieve. If you're not getting the motivation you need at home, come on here... there are plenty of good people who will listen and help you out

The main thing is yourself though. Make that decision in your own mind and work towards it in your own way... but do it. Just do it. Don't think about it too much or talk about it. Do it and see what happens :-)

First, let me say that you are the only person who truly knows what is going on inside you and your past and present experiences.

That said, you are certainly not alone in the feeling that even having lost a significant amount of weight, you are lacking esteem. I would venture to say that most women who have spent the majority of their lives overweight (of which I am one) will never lose the feeling that somehow they are still not "thin" enough or "beautiful" enough based on an ideal that will never apply to all women. Looking around at our culture and the preponderance of plastic surgery procedures that even naturally thin women undergo, it's apparent that self-esteem is lacking in many women across the board. We all have our own perfect level of health and our bodies' perfect weight. We would all be better off striving to be healthy instead of looking to some manipulated ideal.

It would be easy to say you need to find a way to love yourself no matter what you look like on the outside, but you and I both know that believing something and putting it into practice are two very different things. It's okay to feel bad about yourself sometimes, we all do. It can even be motivating. However, I don't think motivating ourselves based on negatives is a lasting or healthy way of being. For every negative thought or feeling we have about ourselves, we need to find two or three good. Over time, the positive begins to outweigh {pun, I know : ) } the negative and you slowly begin to develop a more positive feeling about yourself and your body. These positive thoughts and beliefs will go much farther in motivation than the negatives ever will. For example: I am a strong, healthy woman and I will prove this by working my way up to lifting ____ amount of weight.

This all has to start with you and only you. As women, we tend to base our feelings about our bodies on what others perceive or think about us. Men do also, but I would say overall it's not as prevalent or to the same degree. Whether or not it is biological or societal is up for debate. Regarding your husband, he may just feel he's protecting you from the rude comments of his insensitive coworkers. Perhaps he knows he would jeopardize his career if they said something negative about you because he would defend you out of love. The bottom line is that you will never know unless you talk to him honestly about your feelings. In my own experience with my husband, and I know I'm not alone, I have tended to create things in my mind that do not exist based on what I think he is thinking. This type of thing can very quickly lead to things being blown out of proportion to reality. It can be very difficult to sit down with someone you love and talk to them about something so emotional, but it is necessary to a healthy relationship. Make it a healthy space by telling him how you feel and by not accusing him of doing something to you. Use "I feel", not "You do this...". Hopefully, he will tell you how he is feeling in return and you can work from there. It will go a long way to establishing a pattern of communication that can benefit any relationship in any situation. If it means a lot to you to attend his work functions, tell him. You will both need to be prepared for the fact that people there may be insensitive, and that it may turn out to be a negative environment, but there are no guarantees in life. If we can learn to see that other people don't dictate the decisions we make in our own lives, it can free us to do more and try more without the burden of always worrying what other people think.

You're a beautiful, strong woman who has the wonderful gift of being a mother. Be a great example to your child, that is the ultimate motivation. I wish you the best on your journey, you can do it!!

I looked at your pics and you look incredible!! Congratulations on your success so far!

As for the husband telling you to park far away, not to bring in cookies, etc. honestly I would think the same thing as you. But I would also ask him about it. Communication is really important, because it really could be HIS insecurities (like other people said). There's no reason to feel crappy about yourself when you're assuming the wrong thing, you know? Just ask him about it and tell him to be honest.

Your before and after pictures show quite a transition! That in itself is something great! I think the person you need to talk to about this is your husband. Pick the right time, and ask him the questions. Then you will have a starting point. But no, you are not "still the fat girl"- that girl weighed 60 lbs more. If you have maintained your weight loss without gain during this time- and not working out- that shows some serious dedication. Weight loss is a journey- just like it took time to gain that weight, its going to take time to lose it all. And usually the first portion comes off much easier than the 2nd!! I have lost over 70- have 70 more to go and I have been at the same plateau for months! I work out like crazy- my diet is getting better, much better. But still the loss is much slower. I am ok with that as long as the scale does not go up

Maybe he's embarrassed of his coworkers.

You should sit down and talk with him about your insecurities and why you're concerned. If you let him know that it's very important to you, I would expect him to listen and take you seriously.

A. You're not a fat girl. You hear me? You're you and you have accomplished so much you should be proud of. You're an inspiration to anyone looking to lose weight. So stop putting yourself down and be proud of what you've done.

2. Ok none of that sounds good. You need to have an open and honest talk with the man. Best of luck.

Okay, honey, take a deep breath. There's a lot going on in your post, so I'll try to hit the points as I see them.

One: weight loss is weird. Yes, we are happy about it, but it takes awhile for our heads to catch up to our bodies. I've lost 129 pounds. Some days I still see my old self in the mirror. If a man looks at me, sometimes I want to turn around and see who's standing behind me. So your self image will improve if you keep working on it. Self esteem doesn't have as much to do with body size as we think. Ever seen a beautiful girl who's convinced she's ugly, fat, etc? You wonder what the heck she's talking about, but she thinks she's a troll.

Two: My husband has never wanted me near his coworkers. I called him on it once and told him if he was so ashamed of me then maybe he should find someone else (don't do this). He then told me the reason he didn't want me around them is because a lot of them are not quality people and I wouldn't like them. I didn't believe him, so he took me to a party. What a bunch of *kitten*. He was right: I couldn't get away fast enough.

Three: Exercise is tough when you are recovering from an injury, so start small and work your way up. You can do it.

Take care of yourself.

There might be a few other factors.....does he like the job?

Does he like the co-workers?

first off you have come a long way! you are beautiful. And perhaps some of these others are onto something maybe he is trying to keep you all to himself not wanting other men to want you too...perfectly understandable..atleast from where im sitting.

Maybe he's embarrassed of his coworkers.

You should sit down and talk with him about your insecurities and why you're concerned. If you let him know that it's very important to you, I would expect him to listen and take you seriously.

This might be it. Truly, how does he treat you at home, when it's just you two? Is he considerate? Does he act like he loves you, are does he take you for granted. I've found that a person's intuition is usually right, but maybe if you keep focusing on your health and being fit/lovely for yourself, he'll start responding in a way that is positive.

Talking to him is good too. Don't beat around the bush; come out and just ask what you asked us here, or maybe even print out your original post and give it to him.

Good luck. Your progress is admirable, and you're beautiful!

You are not a fat girl! Don't let yourself think that. Anyone who calls you fat or makes you feel that way deserves to be castrated! Am I right, ladies?! :drinker:

Would you castrate me for calling you PHAT?

Ladies, ATTACK!

Maybe he's embarrassed of his coworkers.

You should sit down and talk with him about your insecurities and why you're concerned. If you let him know that it's very important to you, I would expect him to listen and take you seriously.

This ^^

You are a beautiful girl (before & after). You know your husband better than any advise we can give you. I would try and talk to him about it. But honestly I think there is an issue in his work place. Looking at your before & now pic I couldn't imagine why he wouldn't want to show you off! And if they have never seen you then there would be no reason for him to be ashamed. As a matter of fact he should have taken you up there 60lbs ago so he could really show off the great job you have done! Stay positive and DO NOT get discouraged because you have come too far to let anything get you down!

I'm sorry, but wtf. Your husband should not be treating you like this. Sure, maybe he wishes you were thinner, but love is suppose to triumph anything physical, and not act in this way. It really pisses me off.....

The motivation to getting healthy has to come from WITHIN. Not from some external source (like so your husband will stop being a douche). Do it for YOU. so YOU can feel great and happy and confident, and not feel the need to put up with this *kitten*.