Fell off the wagon a bit, in need of some encouragement

I joined MFP on October 9th weighing in at 200.8 lbs. In the first month I lost 9 lbs and was weighing in at 191.8. I was so excited to be losing the weight so evenly. However, I suffer from what I thought was just depression. After a very bad low point right after Thanksgiving, I checked myself into the hospital. I ended up being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I guess I always knew I had it, just didn't want to admit it because my mom has it and was treated differently by so many people when they found out. Anyways, after my 5 day stay in the hospital and new medications, I started to feel better. However, I stopped tracking my food for about a month and wasn't working out at all while I was trying to get my medications regulated and get to feeling like my old self again. Well, during that time I gained 4 of the 9 lbs back. As of today I weighed in at 196.4. So I am still less than my starting weight, but a little discouraged that I let myself go again. I am now tracking and exercising again. I just want to start seeing that 2 lbs per week loss again like I was seeing in October. Any encouraging words you can offer me to keep me on track again?

Replies

  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
    This is lifestyle changes. Don't give up, ever.

    You can get back on track and you will see the scale move again .

    If it's only 1lb per week and not two , it's still better than weight gain.

    Hang in there.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Someone once said, if you forgot to take a shower one day, would you say "oh well, I blew it, guess I'll stop showering"? Or do you wake up the next day and take a shower?
    You can very easily recover from your slip by simply starting again. Nothing drastic needed :-)
  • You are back on the right track now. That is what matters. Recalibrate based on today and move forward. You can use the lapse to your advantage next time you are tempted to stray (Speaking from hard experience on this one).
  • michigangirl75
    michigangirl75 Posts: 28 Member
    You can do it again! Maybe just set your weight loss goal to 1lb a week that way there you won't get discouraged. Stay strong and you've got this!! You can add me if you wanna as well =)
  • flyersrule17a
    flyersrule17a Posts: 54 Member
    I like the analogy of forgetting to take a shower. I am motivated again to do this. My husband wants us to run in the Rock 'N Roll marathon next December. He has already lost 40 lbs and is still losing. I, on the other hand, still need to lose about 60 lbs to be at my goal weight [I'm only 5'2" but don't want to get too small. I like my body best around 130-140 lbs]. I want to at least be fit enough by then to complete the half marathon, but I'm shooting for the full marathon, just over 26 miles. I don't want to give up or say it's too hard. However, it gets hard some days to stick with it when I see him losing the weight so quickly. I know he doesn't have any of the health issues I have [ hypothyroidism, bipolar, asthma, and sciatica ] so it is different for him. I needed to hear these words from all of you. Thanks to all of you for motivating me again.
  • runzalot81
    runzalot81 Posts: 782 Member
    Three cheers for you for getting the psychological help you needed! :flowerforyou: Making changes is hard work and you can't do everything at once. Once you feel like you've got the medication under control, you can focus on making other improvements. One day at a time :smile:
  • flyersrule17a
    flyersrule17a Posts: 54 Member
    One day at a time :smile:

    Runzalot-- This has become my motto for the last month. My medications seem to be the right ones now. Even my husband has noticed a huge difference in my personality. We were on the verge of divorce for three months because of my depression and very volatile mood swings. He just couldn't handle me anymore. We are still living separately, but he says for the first time in a very long time, he looks forward to seeing and hearing from me as I seem much more upbeat and much less volatile and explosive. I needed to get my psychological issues fixed and get out of my deep depression in order to become motivated again. I'm just really worried about what will happen if I have another depressive bipolar swing. I don't want to do all this hard work just for it to be wasted during another swing [which I hope with these meds I won't swing again ].
  • You can do it! I was all excited because I lost 7 pounds the first month then only 1 the second. Talk about a downer! Kept it up and lost 4 this month. Make sure you are measuring yourself because that helps to see the inches go when the pounds do not. Just log on every day even if it is a bad eating day. Consistency is the key. I want to commend you for taking care of your mental health. I have family who is bipolar. I know it is a tough thing to deal with. Sounds like you are doing all the right things for your mental and physical health. If you get off track one day, just remember tomorrow is a new day! HUGS to you!!!
  • flyersrule17a
    flyersrule17a Posts: 54 Member
    Thank you for all your kind words, everyone. Sometimes you just need to hear from others that it's okay to falter on this journey. Today I even went to my neighborhood's annual Christmas hayride and cookie party, and managed to only have one very small brownie, half a cup of hot chocolate, and a taste of toffee. Last year I had to have eaten at least 5-6 cookies and who knows how many cup of hot chocolate. I still let myself indulge, but in moderation and I planned it into my calories. I was actually under my calorie count for the day. That feels good.
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    if your goal is to run, why are you worrying so much about your weight?

    2 years ago (aged 31) i was 230lbs, and i'm 5'2 as well. every diet i'd done obviously hadn't worked, so i changed my goals to get fitter and not thinner. i had a really powerful motivating thought- i wanted to be fit enough to play soccer with my kids in the park (instead of just watching and feeling like both the kids and i were missing out). i also didn't want to die young of a heart attack.

    i started with c25k, then moved up to b210k, and it just progressed from there. 3 months ago i ran my 2nd marathon, and i've ran about 8 halves. i found that i thought more about food as fuel and took more care over what i was eating, and i thought of it in relation to running.

    2 years on i'm 175lbs- still chunky (size UK 14-16), but pretty content. how i view my body has changed- i used to hate my legs, but now i love them because they can carry my fat *kitten* 26.2 miles! but i feel so much better about myself. it's hard to be depressed when i'm achieving each goal i set myself- because they're realistic, and they make me feel awesome! my relationship with my husband improved because i was less crabby and tired- he said i was the same person he met 12 years ago, as opposed to this wife/mother/shift worker that i had morphed into.

    i can recommend running first thing in the morning- it really sets you up for the day and boosts those endorphins.

    at the moment, i'm taking a few weeks off- i've been training for 2 years and think i deserve it! not every step was easy- i faltered a lot, i had some terrible runs, i wondered if i could do it. but then, when it mattered, i did it.

    the moment i crossed the finish line on my first half was one of THE most satisfyingly awesome things i have ever done. then i realised that a marathon may not be so impossible. when i crossed that finish line, i felt untouchable.

    do this, but do it for yourself. when you fall down, get back up. when you don't think you can do it, go for a walk instead and see what happens. if you do become depressed then get out of bed- have a shower and brush your teeth. if you can't be arsed then take a day off, but plan it for tomorrow instead. but make sure that YOU make your choices, and don't let your symptoms do it for you.

    FWIW, when i'm training, i mentally book it like an appointment so then it's just part of the day. so, you make time for it. then that's one less excuse.

    good luck
  • flyersrule17a
    flyersrule17a Posts: 54 Member
    My goal is to run the marathon next year. However, I know that I am not fit or healthy right now. I am in a lot of pain due to all the extra weight I've been carrying for the past two years. Now that my mental health is improved, I want my body to match. I have never been much of a runner because I am asthmatic, but with weight loss, my new inhaler meds, and working up from long walks to jogging to running, I am sure I can do it. To answer your question simply, I am focused on weight loss right now just so I can get healthy enough to even start training for the marathon.
  • The way I see it is really you have just started. You will do well and fall of the wagon too as everyone does. The trick with changing your life style is giving yourself permission to adapt! Dont however give yourself permission to fail! If it gets hard maintain for a while, but still watch and log your food daily and do your best not to gain. If the scale moves in the wrong direction at all DONT STOP if you cant work out watch your intake and get your weight back to square one. Set small goals like 2lbs for the month instead of for the week if you lose more great if not you still met your goal! Once your on a roll again set your goal higher but always within reach! It really is training yourself not restricting and depriving yourself just be aware of what you eat. If you want to lose and maintain it ,you cant go for it full blown because you will loose your gumption. Its a marathon take your time. :) You Can Do It. You already did the hard part which was deciding to make a change! YOUR NOT ALONE WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME JOURNEY God Bless and I wish you success!
  • xMissy6x
    xMissy6x Posts: 347 Member
    Someone once said, if you forgot to take a shower one day, would you say "oh well, I blew it, guess I'll stop showering"? Or do you wake up the next day and take a shower?
    You can very easily recover from your slip by simply starting again. Nothing drastic needed :-)

    Haha that's awesome. I love it.
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    I can recommend starting with couch 2 5k- it's a good program of interval training. it's 9 weeks long, only asking for 30 mins 3x a week. week 1 is jog for 60 secs, walk for 90 (after a 5 min warm up and you get a 5 min cool down at the end). you can even precede that by spending a week or 2 jogging 30 secs (or 15 secs or whatever you can manage). sure, watch your diet- we're all doing that here! be mindful about your consumption. i also think that aiming for the half may be a more achievable goal- but rock that bad boy! couch to marathon in a year is going to be hard work! i was really consistent and gradual with my training and it took me 18 months to get my 1st full. and if it's still good, aim for a full 6-12 months later. the success for endurance runs are all about the training, and the quality of those sessions.

    but whatever you choose to do, the road to this you that you want to be starts with a single step. and it's the same first step we have all taken. the difference between success and failure is to just keep trying. if you try, you can't really fail!
  • Karrie262
    Karrie262 Posts: 152 Member
    This is lifestyle changes. Don't give up, ever.

    You can get back on track and you will see the scale move again .

    If it's only 1lb per week and not two , it's still better than weight gain.

    Hang in there.

    Great advice ^^

    Also, your meds may cause weight gain which may make it harder (however, not impossible). I had a friend on lithium, who also has bipolar disorder, and he started gaining weight. MFP and all the friends you find on here will help you through this...just remember to NEVER give up. ALL of us slip, fall back a few pounds or ten, but no one will shun you for that on here (make sure you friend motivating and uplifting friends and delete the ones who bring you down, because hunny, you don't need any extra baggage, lol). Having a mental disorder (many of us have them) and coming to terms with it, regulating it, finding the right meds/dosage, and working through it is a hard battle that not everyone has the displeasure of living through. You're stronger because of it and you need to use that strength to better yourself. When you start getting back into the swing of things it will make you feel amazing. Use that time to also strengthen your inner self. You've got people rooting for ya!
  • Gidzmo
    Gidzmo Posts: 905 Member
    I think we've all had to whack the reset button at some point. I have.

    Simply hit reset, start over, and the needle will move again. :smile:
  • vestarocks
    vestarocks Posts: 420 Member
    You have a lot going on. Be gentle with yourself and take one day at a time.
  • DollyMiel
    DollyMiel Posts: 377 Member
    I'm asthmatic too with a ton of health/emotional problems, so you're not alone! It really can put a wrench in things, which I don't think the small minority of blissfully problem-free people fully realize (I say small because I think we all know most of us have our share of issues, haha). I also fell off the wagon a bit these past few months, but I think the fact that we're both here right now posting means we never gave up, not even through that.

    You're all right. :D Don't beat yourself up over it. Just dust yourself off and work back up!

    But what I was getting at with the asthma part... the other Bonjour in this thread (haha) mentioned C25K, and I'm going to give it a try. I know what you mean about the asthma making running hard, but I looked over the program and it works in a patterned burst which should give your lungs a rest between the jogging intervals. So don't let it stop you from giving it a go... I'm not gonna let it stop me. c:

    Good luck with everything! I'm sure you'll be sailing along just fine!
  • nikkijade13
    nikkijade13 Posts: 27 Member
    Don't beat yourself up over it! Easier said then done I know but at least you're getting back on track to lose weight! You can do it!
  • Alexandria1213
    Alexandria1213 Posts: 152 Member
    I found this motivator called "Weight loss Jars" The concept of the jars is to get two jars, label one "weight to lose" and "weight lost" fill the "weight to lose jar" with beads or beans and have one bead represent one lb you want to lose and transfer the beads over into the other jar as you start to lose weight. I started doing this and I like it, it gives me a visual of what I have accomplished so far and I do get excited when I get to transfer over any beads

    IMG_20121222_235949_zps11f56e3b.jpg
  • Play_outside
    Play_outside Posts: 528 Member
    Way to go on seeking mental health help-that is a huge step and I think that feeling mentally better will probably help things fall into place with working on your physical health. :) Some meds do affect weight so beware of that. However, if you are tracking your food and getting exercise, you should be able to balance it out if weight gain is a side effect of any of your meds. Accept that you are going to have up and down days-EVERYBODY does, no matter what their situation is. And in "real" life (i.e. when you are a healthy weight-maybe that is not the right term but that's what I use), you are going to have days once in a while where you eat too much junk food and/or don't exercise-and that's okay! As long as it is not your regular trend.

    I am also 5'2 and weigh 194. I have gone up and down a fair bit in my adult life and due to an injury have had very little exercise for a few months so I have gained-but I just keep plugging along (this time of year makes for some bad food choices!). You'll do it too! :)

    The C25K is a great suggestion, I too have asthma and that is how I got my body ready for running. You may also find that doing things like decreasing dairy (or at least not having any before running), drinking more water, avoiding mushrooms, taking your preventive puffer on a daily (or twice daily, whatever your prescription is) basis really help with that. And the C25K is designed to be a guideline-so if you find it is too much at first, then shorten your running periods, lengthen your walking periods, or repeat days until you feel ready to progress! :) When you complete it then you can try the Bridge to 10K, it's a great way to start adding more time and distance, and then there are programs to keep building from there!
  • JustANumber85
    JustANumber85 Posts: 644 Member
    I found this motivator called "Weight loss Jars" The concept of the jars is to get two jars, label one "weight to lose" and "weight lost" fill the "weight to lose jar" with beads or beans and have one bead represent one lb you want to lose and transfer the beads over into the other jar as you start to lose weight. I started doing this and I like it, it gives me a visual of what I have accomplished so far and I do get excited when I get to transfer over any beads

    IMG_20121222_235949_zps11f56e3b.jpg

    GREAT idea!
  • SeaJenni
    SeaJenni Posts: 211 Member
    Someone once said, if you forgot to take a shower one day, would you say "oh well, I blew it, guess I'll stop showering"? Or do you wake up the next day and take a shower?
    You can very easily recover from your slip by simply starting again. Nothing drastic needed :-)

    ^^Good perspective. Thanks for this.^^
  • flyersrule17a
    flyersrule17a Posts: 54 Member
    It's a great feeling to wake up to all these motivational comments on my thread. I LOVE the idea of the weight loss jars. I think seeing it visually that way when I can't always see it on my body will help keep me motivated. Also, I am going to be trying the C25K program. It seems like something manageable with my asthma. My husband and I are planning to purchase a treadmill after the holidays. I am also going to be adding some kettlebell and medicine ball training as I want to build up muscle mass without becoming too cut [I like my curves and having a *little* meat on my bones]. I think I'm back on the right track for now. Thanks again to everyone for your kind words and motivation. Sometimes I need the push to keep going.
  • Alexandria1213
    Alexandria1213 Posts: 152 Member
    I spent the money on buying an expensive treadmill and honestly I don't ever use it. Ironically, I rather use the one at the gym. When I try to work out at home, I get absolutely NO motivation. I make excuses of things I need to do around the house. However, when I go to the gym, when I'm there I am up and ready. That is just me though.
  • rsharper97
    rsharper97 Posts: 242 Member
    You have already shown a desire to get back on track. You can do this. Good luck and know we are all here for support when you need it!