How to get older family members active & eating healthier???

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packerena
packerena Posts: 26
in Health and Weight Loss
My parents live in a small town in a rural area and just entered their 70's. My mom recently quit smoking and had a thyroidectomy. My dad recently was diagnosed with Type II diabetes due to being overweight and a poor eater (and drinker).

I am a group fitness instructor in a metro area nearby - I even teach SilverSneakers group fitness for older adults - but I can't seem to inspire my parents to want to be active or eat healthy. Because the area is rural, there are no SilverSneakers programs nearby. My parents are shy & keep to themselves. Hard work, not exercise, has always been a part of their lives. Now, their entertainment of choice is going out to eat at buffets.

I don't want to push my parents into diet or exercise, but I do care about their health and want them to maintain their quality of life. Does anyone know of any exercise videos or programs that are good for older (70+) adults?

I'd love to hear success stories - what motivated you as an older adult or the older adults in your life to start being active or eating healthy? Thanks in advance for any replies.

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  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 21,754 Member
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    I bought "Tony and the Folks" http://teambeachbody.com/shop/-/shopping/MDTHFOLDVDS1?referringRepId=8062 for my parents last year. Mom was late 60s and Dad was early 70s. I tried the workout first, and it seemed like it would be good for them. Unfortunately, neither of them ever tried it. My dad passed away eight months ago today. My mom still has the DVD. I hope some day she will try it.

    My dad had diabetes and heart disease. He took good care of himself and walked at the mall up until he became too weak. He also did really well with his eating. My mom is quite obese and doesn't exercise at all, but she has improved her eating habits since Dad died, and she has lost about 20 pounds since then. Her size makes it difficult for her to get around very well. She has said she wants to start exercising after she loses more weight. She has so much to lose, I am concerned she'll not lose enough soon enough, but I hope. She knows I worry, but I know it doesn't help any to push too hard.

    Good luck getting your parents to be more active. If you have success, let me know what worked so I can try it on my mom! :heart:
  • DrBorkBork
    DrBorkBork Posts: 4,099 Member
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    The most frustrating part of this is that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make 'em drink. It's so sad. You can put tools in someone's hands, but nothing short of a near-death beating can force them to put them to work.

    My mom is obese and I don't think she really cares about her diabetes. I worry that it's sending her to an early grave. I tell her this. I tell her I want her to be around to see her grandkids grow up. She even warns me to take care of myself after seeing what diabetes and cancer have done to her sister and my beloved aunt. Yet she does nothing to care for herself. It breaks my heart, but again...
    "here's the water trough, pony, please drink"
    "nope, don't wanna, can't make me"
  • bjberry
    bjberry Posts: 665 Member
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    I hang out with older folks (70s-90s) and know that they want to remain firmly in control of their life. They see so many people who feel that the older person is not thinking well. Older folks are quite smart. They still have a brain and want to use it.
    And you are right--it is very frustrating letting them do things their way. ;)
    If your parents are in a rural community, do they walk to a lot of places or must they take their car? Walking, all by itself, is a very good exercise. And buffets have both healthy and not-so-healthy stuff. Maybe they will make good food choices. We can hope, anyway. Hugs to all of you with older parents. BJB
  • emilyfh
    emilyfh Posts: 291 Member
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    Try to get them to go for a walk, its a start, say after dinner think walking would be a good start. Give your mom some veggie recipe and tell her how good it is. Push at them till they do Im sure they will like it when they start.
  • MacMadame
    MacMadame Posts: 1,893 Member
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    I can't get my kids or husband to be more active and eat better and they live with me. The other person has to want to change or you are just going to frustrate yourself and piss them off.

    It's like the saying: never try to teach a pig to sing. It frustrates you and it annoys the pig.
  • megamom
    megamom Posts: 920 Member
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    The Strong Women stay Young is a great book and has home exercises for seniors. Teaching the importance of balance which people lose early and leads to many falls and fractured hips is also important. They can do that standing on one foot with their eyes closed close to a counter to catch them if they start to fall. Also I joined my elderly MIL in a water aerobics class which she never would have gone to without me their and visa vesa, Me in a Suit!. And lots of love. Good luck. Even mild weights as you know will help. Do they have a senior center nearby? They have fitness for seniors and most Y's do also.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    I can't get my kids or husband to be more active and eat better and they live with me. The other person has to want to change or you are just going to frustrate yourself and piss them off.

    It's like the saying: never try to teach a pig to sing. It frustrates you and it annoys the pig.

    Huh, ain't that the truth.:ohwell: DH sits first lays there, then sits in the chair and then lays there......stating his back hurts so bad.:grumble: Ok, let's go for a walk and do some low back/ab exercises to strengthen and the pain will lessen. Nope........although he can see it worked wonders for me.:indifferent:

    Well the vet told him his dog NEEDS to walk! OMG I about spit my gum out because my DH loves that damn dog. So now he walks about 1/2 mile each day with his dog. WOOT!:drinker:

    He even pulled out his bike once he realized his back feels better with exercise. :happy: :bigsmile: :happy:

    Only took 2 years!:wink:
  • nhoglund
    nhoglund Posts: 3 Member
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    Great question... We all have reasons why we choose to be healthy or unhealthy, at any age. At 46, I'm motivated to be health focused because it feels great and I want to be strong as I age and enjoy everything I want to do now and later. I'm inspired by my mom who is 89. She has always eaten healthy and exercised. Her motivator is her garden. She wants to be out there all summer, every summer, so she keeps herself in shape so she can do that. A friend of mine who is 71 loves to travel. She decided a few years ago to join a senior's workout club to lose weight and build strength so she can travel anywhere for as many years as she wants.

    The key seems to be having a positive motivator. Perhaps you could find out what their hidden passions are. Is there something that being more healthy and active would allow them to do? Once you find out, you can encourage and help them to achieve it. Unfortunately, just desiring to be healthy for healthy sake, doesn't seem to be juicy enough to motivate most of us. Some external factor is typically involved. The fun part, is finding out what that might be! Because "hard work" was valued when your parents grew up, perhaps there is a modified activity from the past that they'd like to do. A DVD or class may not work for them. For example, my mom worked hard on the family farm her whole life. When she stopped farming, she kept the vegetable garden as a way to keep working and stay active.

    A great movie is "Young at Heart" which is about a group of elderly singers. If you haven't seen this, it's so inspiring!
  • packerena
    packerena Posts: 26
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    Thanks for all the nice replies! It is sad, but comforting to know others are going through this too.

    I must confess: My parents are animal lovers and the beloved family dog, Poncho, passed away about two and a half years ago. I've considered "finding" a nice, calm dog and asking them to give it a home temporarily so they'd keep it around (it always worked for me as a kid :). Then they'd have to take the new pet out for walks & play... :)

    I contacted SilverSneakers and there is a program called "Steps" for people in remote areas with no senior group exercise classes around. Healthways will send a pedometer, DVD, and the SilverSneakers equipment (ball, resistance band, & hand weights) to those with participating health plans.

    I hope I will be able to use bits & pieces of your posts and help my parents get active & eat healthier. Thank you!
  • nhoglund
    nhoglund Posts: 3 Member
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    Sorry to hear they lost their pet! That would be so wonderful is they could enjoy a new animal. :)
  • beutiful5678
    beutiful5678 Posts: 58 Member
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    I have also found gaining the momentum of friends is key. When you have people with whom you enjoy spending time a lot of things become much more doable and acheivable. Do you parents have friends in their area who would like doing an exercise DVD with them? Or going on a walk with them?

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