Today i'm sad, holding in the tears as much as possible. :(

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Replies

  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I just want to say I'm sorry. I've seen your posts on the forums and I think you're a wonderful person with a lot of effervescence and joy to offer. I hope your mother comes around soon. She has an amazing daughter.
  • mygrl4meee
    mygrl4meee Posts: 943 Member
    It's not the same but I feel your pain. I have a very bad relationship with my Mom too. She just tends to ignore me. I just seen her her a couple weeks ago and the last time was Christmas of last year. I am just at a point I am accepting this lack of relationship. It helps that I have a very good friend who is old enough to be my Mom and I treasure our friendship. I know her reasons for not wanting to be around me is her own problem to deal with. Hang in there. She may come around but if not. Remember it's not about you. It's her issue to deal with.
  • CarlieeBear
    CarlieeBear Posts: 325 Member
    Agreed.
    As a mother now I could not ever think about not loving my child regardless of what he chooses.

    ^^ This ... except I'd add this is not a choice.

    Stay strong and be who you are.

    Disagree... it is a choice. Everything, other then what we are born with is a choice. People make many choices every day, and most of them are heavily influenced by world around us. Just because an interest has come to me for same sex does not mean it is a green light to pursue it, or for another guy who is married, or ______ (insert whatever you want in this blank).
    We become what we feed ourselves with, and I am not talking food - what we see, what we think, what we dwell on.

    Said that, OP, I am sorry about your mother's rejection. She might not like your choices in life, but as mom she should show you unconditional love. Maybe she blames herself and distancing herself from you makes it easier for her to handle it.

    If my children would make choices that are against my core values, I would still accept them the same. I would go an extra mile to show my love. Hate the sin, not the sinner. We all are sinners.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    You say you were in college which means she paid your tuition and gave you other types of support..


    I'm sorry, but this does NOT mean she paid tuition... I went through 11 years of college (one undergraduate, 2 masters and working on my PhD) - my work paid for one masters, I paid for the rest.

    Just mentioning that assuming that it was paid for is not a good assumption.

    No kidding. I paid for my entire college education, including my Master's degree. I got student loans and I paid them off within 5 years of finishing. What an ignorant assumption.
  • taekwonkenpo
    taekwonkenpo Posts: 1,004
    Give your mom a card that simply says "I still love you very much, thank you for everything you have done and continue to do as my mother."

    Do this and wait for some sort of a response. Even if it takes years. Remember that your feelings are not the only issue here. She has feelings as well. Perhaps she just needs to know that you are still the same. This subject can be very diffacult for a parent to deal with.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear that, your situation is really tough. I know it must took you a huge amount of courage to 'come out' to her and only to feel being rejected for being a lesbian. I'm straight but am a boyish type of person who hates girly stuff and everything that women typically wants & so my mom doesn't like me this way and we end up always arguing.

    In your situation, it seems that your mother is a very traditional woman and was totally shocked when you came out to her. However mothers are mothers and no matter how tough they may seem to be but I know deep inside, they still care for their children. I think the better way to do it is to talk and ask help from your other family members closest to you, it could be your Dad, your brothers & sisters or your relatives in bringing the matter to your mom and bridge the gap between you and your mother.

    From the way you bring this up, it seems like you are an amazing girl and daughter. I do hope that your mother will realize this very soon and that things will turn out better for both of you. Don't lose hope. ((HUGS))
  • mscolleen2003
    mscolleen2003 Posts: 126 Member
    I suggest you get a third party involved to help you two work through this. Five years has not solved the problem, time to take another avenue. I would contact GLAD and see if there is someone in your area that can help you two work through this.
  • karylee44
    karylee44 Posts: 892
    Hugs.....I pm'd you
  • magairlin
    magairlin Posts: 93 Member
    I am so so sorry that you are going through this. Don't hold in the tears. Let them flow. It will do you good. I know that I'd love my daughter to bits no matter what her sexual orientation but some people are slower to accept difference than others and it may take your mom some time more to come around. Although her behaviour to you is cruel ( she may not intend it to be but just not know how to deal with this) I suggest that you buy her a gift anyway. I hope that she will come around to being friendly with you again soon as she is really missing out. She probably was looking forward to you bringing home a nice boy for her to love but hopefully some day you'll bring home a nice girl instead and she'll come around.
  • Hardbody9
    Hardbody9 Posts: 7
    I sorry to hear that, but if you need to vent or talk about it, hit me up. My prays are with you and the hopes that your mother has a change of heart. :flowerforyou:
  • CABA01
    CABA01 Posts: 33
    I wish you still merry Christmas. Hope your mother changes soon. For you all the best and a good relationship with a nice woman!
  • MrsWonderland
    MrsWonderland Posts: 107 Member
    My heart breaks for you:brokenheart: :cry: I hope your mom has a change of heart. I too thought a letter and a card to get your deepest feelings out. But also maybe seeing her today and take a moment alone with her, grab her hug her and tell her how much you love her. Breakdown and cry if you need to. That maybe all she needs.

    I pray she comes around and if you need another friend Im here. I hope this year will be the best Christmas for you and your family.
  • sagetracey
    sagetracey Posts: 607 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear that your Mom has reacted this way. My son came out to us two days ago and it was such a relief all round. As parents we knew he was gay, it is just a part of who he is. We loved him last year,last week, and we love him today.

    it was a relief because he is no longer anguishing about his sexuality. He has accepted this about himself and is now in a loving relationship. That is all I have ever hoped for him, to find love.

    I hope that your Mom realises that you are still the daughter she raised and loved.
  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
    Everyone's already said anything useful there is to say on the topic, but I just wanted to send you mental hugs. I hope your mom comes around eventually!
  • OddballExtreme
    OddballExtreme Posts: 296 Member
    Don't hold in those tears, friend. You need to let those tears out. For me, today is a bit hard, too, but it's not about the original topic. My father passed away on June 25, 1988. Today, Christmas Day, marks exactly the halfway point of the time. I miss my father that much, even though it's been nearly 25 years. Sending hugs your way from here! :frown:
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    <3

    You can't change other people. Don't forget that.

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