Feeling very down today- but didn't soothe with food!

We opened up gifts this morning and my kids were passing out everything from under the tree. Everyone had gifts except me :frown: The kids of course had their Santa gifts and gifts from their grandparents. DH had a gift from me and gifts from the kids. He didn't give me anything from him or the kids. I went on to make breakfast and after he ate he went upstairs and fell back asleep. Normally I would sit and eat my way through the hurt. But instead of eating, I completed 2 Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown workouts. :smile:
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Replies

  • lookatme09
    lookatme09 Posts: 57 Member
    I AM SO SORRY! Merry hristmas to you and I am very proud of you! Please add me as a fiend.
  • samantha1242
    samantha1242 Posts: 816 Member
    Hmmm. He didn't get you anything? Not that Christmas is, or should be, about the presents... but... that seems a bit selfish of him.. But good for you for working out instead of choosing food to comfort. I have that battle when it comes to comforting myself.

    I hope you have a great Christmas :)

    edit to say: and wow 90 pounds loss! amazing achievement!
  • lookatme09
    lookatme09 Posts: 57 Member
    Sorry for typing errors. I am such a bad typer. Life on my end arent perfect either but I found so much support on this site. I am full time nurse and mom and I finally decided to do something for myself. PS. I hope you didnt spend too much on him
  • cappri
    cappri Posts: 1,089 Member
    Sorry, that really sucks! Good job on the working out instead of eating though.
  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
    i'm so sorry that sux make him sleep on the couch tonight
  • gjulie
    gjulie Posts: 391
    Im so sorry to read this,is he like this all the time? I know my own Dad RIP was a very good man but he never ever gave my mum a gift for birthday christmas or anything he just didnt yet he was great other ways,Id be more concerned if he is like this all the time!Still something thoughtful wouldnt have hurt!I hope you feel better!
  • CaLaurie
    CaLaurie Posts: 178
    Oh wow, just wow - so sorry! Feeling the hurt. Sometimes relationships just suck. Congrats on not munching your way through though - that's a wonderful gift you gave yourself! Feel free to add me for more support.
  • traceybarbour
    traceybarbour Posts: 226 Member
    That just made me really sad! I know its not all about gifts but I feel as if it makes you at least feel that you were thought about. Sorry that happened to you. I still think we are all kids at heart. Congrats on your weight lose, that is amazing. Shop for your self tomorrow!!
  • Bella20102010
    Bella20102010 Posts: 32 Member
    Awww, I'm sorry. Men can be such butts!!!!! Awesome job on working out to cope!!!!! Return his gift and tell him you accidentally threw it way. :tongue:

    Beth
  • bbgughj
    bbgughj Posts: 219 Member
    Sorry , Your having a bad day , But be thankful to see your kids smile today !

    Some parents in NEWTOWN, Conn. didn't see that today .

    8981edce06098924240f6a70670060f3.jpg
  • eileenchristine
    eileenchristine Posts: 228 Member
    I buy myself presents! Been doing that for 12 years now. I am single, that might make a difference, but I don't see why it should. I did get a lovely gift from my 16 year old. She is a beautiful artist. But I got perfume and hair stuff and some makeup and toiletries, gorgeous necklace, etc. No one else is going to give me gifts, so why not treat myself to presents? I would recommend next year to give yourself lots of nice little gifts that you want. You are worth it!

    Ok, tomorrow is a good day to go shopping, get out there and get yourself something cute!

    Or go wild on Amazon today.

    You are learning to take care of yourself by eating healthy and losing the weight and exercising (good for you, I plan on doing a little today, see if the plan takes fruition). Why not be kind to yourself in other ways too?
  • jenjarvi
    jenjarvi Posts: 13 Member
    I am proud of you for make a healthier choice and am sending you a telepathic christmas hug.
  • returntorural
    returntorural Posts: 339 Member
    You working on your own health is the best gift to give yourself and your family. Good for you for working through the hurt!
  • kayduro
    kayduro Posts: 249 Member
    Hubby and I decided to forego exchanging Christmas gifts with eachother this year. We did however, do stockings. My hubby really doesn't like shopping so I offered to take care of my own stocking as well as his. This is the first time we didn't exchange presents. For years I have been buying my own gifts. It's a win-win because I always get what I want AND he doesn't have to stress out. I just hand him the gift, he wraps it and puts it under the tree! I like doing this for him.


    I'm sorry to hear you are hurting today. Not a fun way to spend Christmas. I like someone's suggestion of going on Amazon and doing a little shopping for yourself. I will send you a {{{hug}}}and a friend request:)
  • chaNyn613
    chaNyn613 Posts: 112 Member
    Sorry you are feeling down but so proud of you for choosing YOU instead of food.

    Friend me if you want to talk.
  • Good for you, on the workout instead of food...I feel for you, I had similar situation for 9 years...Next year Buy yourself something nice and put it under the tree from the kids. You deserve it.
  • Graceious1
    Graceious1 Posts: 716 Member
    Well done for doing that.
  • ann3h
    ann3h Posts: 10
    awww well think about the bright side u have your family !! :] --home alone for christmas--
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
    Well, that just sucks. Not even a thanks for breakfast before he went back to bed?

    Still, you proved yourself to be a stronger woman today by not eating though the hurt. Good Job on that front.

    So, take some money outta his wallet and go get yourself something.
  • 240x30
    240x30 Posts: 37 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that. Not very considerate of him but that's not for me to go into... I'm so proud that you didn't soothe with food because I would have after I assaulted him with every pillow in the house.
  • glitteredgrave
    glitteredgrave Posts: 194 Member
    I was a a christmas party the other night and there were about 15 kids in the room opening presents. One little girl from out of state was there, nobody knew she was coming. While the kids were opening their presents she was sitting in the corner crying. I felt like crying too after that. I know how it feels to be left out like that :-/ but congrats! you didn't give in a eat :)
  • That's not good. I hope you told him !
    But like others have said it's not all about receiving but it is nice :):)
    Glad to hear you didn't turn to food, but when you also turn to exercise that can go the wrong way too. If you keep on doing that instead of eating when upset or stressed then try and do something completely different like play with the kids or go meet a friend for coffee etc.

    I'm not knocking you at all here just trying to help as I have been there for years.

    Still well done on not being know as the local "she killed her Husband for not giver her a present" person LOL
  • Lizzy9
    Lizzy9 Posts: 67 Member
    Oh how I know the feeling. We, as Mothers want to please our children and family. That maternal feeling we have. But, we are still human and have those normal feelings. Men do not think as we do. Call it programmed from birth - I don't know. Again, not that "presents" is what is "important", but your husband teaching your children consideration, caring and thoughtfulness at a time when they are influential makes a big difference.

    You, however should be so proud of yourself. Look what you did.for yourself! How wonderful and proud you should be. I think you gave yourself the best gift anyone could have given themselves - caring about yourself.

    On the other issue with hubbie, I'm not sure what "Phase" in your marriage you are in, but I do understand as my husband does the same. (He doesn't go to sleep), but he moves on with his day. Earlier in our marriage there were the little notes here and there, a single rose in my car after he cleaned it . But, 10 years later and we are in a new phase of our marriage. I can't say it's a good phase, too much complacency. Also, he works many many hours. I have to look at the pros and the cons. He's working hard for our future, he's loyal, he cares deeply for me and the children, which out weighs the cons.

    Sometimes, when I'm very upset with a situation, I write him an email - since I'm unable to get the right words out verbally without crying. It also gets his attention without being diverted by seeing my emotions or putting him in an awkward defensive mode. Hopefully, some of these ideas will help. Kudos to you for caring so much about yourself. Also, feel free to friend me also, I'm here for moral support. God Bless.
  • Baloostika
    Baloostika Posts: 203 Member
    :flowerforyou: It's very painful but it's ok just be yourself and move on and enjoy the rest of the day.
    It's possible he has better plans for you for later.
  • Sorry to hear about not getting a present. We all l like to be valued. Then working out shows that you value yourself. Good on you. That's the headline here. Proud of you.

    I'm not sure about going hog wild on Amazon, although I can relate. However, my humble suggestion is for you to find something truly special, hopefully on sale--that makes you feel treasured. it could be a cool hat or bath salts or gloves or sunglasses---why not be glam--so in the future, whenever you look at it your spirits will be raised.

    You can't change your husband. You can only work on you. If he eventually comes along for the ride. groovy.
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
    I am sorry that your inconsiderate spouse hurt you, but you gave yourself a great gift by choosing to not give in to old ways of coping with food! That is wonderful!
    Congratulations on your success so far. You are an inspiration!
  • lenoresaari
    lenoresaari Posts: 500 Member
    I say he owes you a trip to the spa for a facial, mani, pedi; why not ask for this for Christmas since he "forgot" to get you something? He could even just write a blank check with the name of your spa of choice and babysit while you go relax next weekend. Treat yourself. You deserve it......
  • Callean321
    Callean321 Posts: 44 Member
    My husband is NOT a shopper so he never gives me anything. I am NOT saying that it is right but I have learned to cope by buying a few nice things for myself instead and my daughter wraps them. I found by expecting nothing from him I wasn't hurt and disappointed anymore....instead I concentrate on the things he does do for me. I am so proud that you didn't comfort yourself with food!!!! You are making great choices and taking care of yourself!!!!
  • Rocking_Robin
    Rocking_Robin Posts: 238 Member
    I am so sorry, I know exactly how you feel, had way too many Christmas' just like that!! I am proud of you for not using food, that is WONDERFUL!! I wish I could say the same...I always used food... Stay Strong, be kind to yourself, Keep up the hard work!!!
  • pilot1960
    pilot1960 Posts: 24 Member
    So sorry about the gifts and the treatment, but a good response!
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