WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2012

OK- I am officially stressing. To begin with, I'm really not at all crazy about dd#3's means of living up in PA. Let me try to start at the beginning, I may get some things a bit jumbled up. She's with a guy who we are 99.99% sure severly abused Lexi. To the point where the SPCA seized her from Denise. We actually did drive from NC to PA and adopted her hoping that seeing her Denise would open her eyes. Didn't happen. The guy's mother co-signed for an apt for them, they skipped out, the mother owed something like $2,000. He really really mangled her car, decided to hot wire it by putting a screwdriver in the ignition, rouining the ignition. His uncle called us to get Denise (about 3 years ago) saying "this isn't working out". We went to PA, got her. Brought her to NC, took her to a therapist. She was, in a word, a b**** while here. She kept calling the uncle and the guy. We asked the uncle not to send her $$ to fly back to PA saying that she needed to get a job. He promised us up and down, backwards and forwards that he wouldn't. So what did he do? Yup, and to top it off, didn't tell us anything about it, never asked if we had any plans, just expected that we would, of course, drive her to the airport. On top of that, he has a flight for her to the airport furthest from our house. She goes back to PA, gets an apt near her work (good, she can walk to work if her car won't work), her landlord wants to rent it to someone else. We suspect that SFB (s***-for-brains as we call him) was there so much. Her credit is in the toilet. So what does his mother do? Cosigns for ANOTHER apt. Now she's off, Denise is on the lease (don't know if he is or not). While we lived in PA we told Denise that her insurance on her car is running out, it is illegal to drive without insurance, if she's caught they can and probably would impound her car. What does she do? Drives the car. So it's impounded. We take her to the impound lot, we do pay to get it out of impound, she's learned that she needs insurance. Now I asked her to help me peel potatoes, she says she doesn't know how to peel potatoes. She's 25 years old! When we were up there getting her, the uncle made her mac & cheese and I just thought to myself "I'd have her do it, it's only boiling water" She spends every holiday with that family. What kind of holiday prep do they do, I wonder? She just asked me to fix a shirt, I told her I really couldn't because I needed to peel the potatoes, do the lobster, the carrots. So I showed her how to do it. Did she ever grumble! It's not like it's that hard to do! Her cat is hissing at us, she should let the cat get to know us. Last time the cat "was hit by a car" (we suspect SFB came over her place, opened the door, and the cat went out,. He didn't care and left the cat outside who went across the street) who took it to the vet, took care of it? US. If something like that happens again, I really don't want the cat who hisses at us and won't let us touch it(I know in a few days it'll be OK and I would never refuse to help it, please don't get that idea). So I'm stressing BIG TIME. While we were at the vet this a.m. there was a guy there who reminded me of Bryan. In his face, not in his body. Bryan is more muscular. But my heart still broke. Before anyone suggests it, I honestly don't think that it's that Denise wants me to feel needed. I honestly think she doesn't know how to do these basic things. His family probably doesn't expect her to do much, and so she's not learning anything. I guess I wouldn't feel so bad if I could see some growth in her, but I don't see any. She's 25 and doesn't know how to peel potatoes or mend clothes?

Went downstairs to exercise, was going to do a Tony Little DVD that's only 30 minutes, but when I put it in the DVD player, it made this real funny sound and didn't play, so I put in the DVD from the 90 Day Supreme Total Body. Only to me it really isn't a total body. There' nothing on the biceps or triceps. I had to get Denise up at 7:15 to get to the vet, as usual she growled at me.

Linda Sundance - what a wonderful gift! I never thought of it that way, that's so great!

Jessica's at the mall meeting a vet friend of hers from Asheville. Not quite sure why someone from Asheville would come all the way to Hickory. Anyway, she called and asked if he couldn't come over while she wrapped presents. So I made up a baggie of cookies and another of brownies that I made to give him. I look at it this way -- the more I give away, the less for me to eat!

Cheryl - what a scare you had! Hope your MIL is OK, I'm sure she is

Did really lousey on the food these past two days. But on the bright side -- for dinner tonight I made a roast chicken so that there'd be leftovers that I can eat, so I am thinking ahead. Didn't have the smoked salmon like I said I would. This next week will be finishing up the things that I don't want (like the pierogi, I only make them once/year, so I can't wait for them to be out of the house).

As usual, Denise was a real b**** while she was here. Actually, she was pretty good when we picked her up, but last night.....I couldn't help myself and I know I got Vince upset, but I just couldn't help crying because she was so very uncommunicative. But then again, she always is. Terrible as this sounds, in one way I was looking forward, in a sense, to her leaving and me not having these stress binges. But at midnight mass I realized (if this is true or not, I don't know, but it's my way of rationalizing it) that SFB is so insecure that he's most likely influencing her to do whatever to be sure she has a bad time and makes sure everyone else does, too. Like when we picked her up she asked me if I'd made any snickerdoodles. So I made sure that I had some for her specially. She ate ONE. I did have these iced cookies that you buy at the store, she's been eating that. Jessica helped me with the dinner christmas Eve, but not Denise. The minute she'd finish eating, she would get up and get her own dessert. Doesn't matter if I had anything planned, do what she wants. You know, it hurts me in a sense. I keep hoping that she'll mature, but that doesn't seem to be happening. And SFB's family isn't helping, it appears, either. Well, Jess and Denise will be leaving tomorrow. I'll be sad to see Jess leave, and I will in a way be sad to see Denise leave. But I'll also be in a sense relieved. Please don't think terrible of me. I'm seriously just looking out for my own mental health.

Bryan did call today (Christmas). I said to him "you know, it would be nice if you'd surprise me one year. You know that our Christmas Eve's are meatless and I'd love for Dianna to make some of her vegetarian meals." I told Jessica that I said that and to my utter shock she said "you shouldn't have said that, I get where you're coming from. But Bryan is going to misinterpret that". So I sent him an email saying that I honestly and truly just want to include Dianna and that's the ONLY place that was coming from. I mentioned to him that he'd told me a while ago "ma, I know your heart is in the right place". So I just told him that it still is. He's supposed to call sometime next week. Said that they're going to go away after New Year's when the prices are lower.

Did Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds tape (all 4 miles) today (christmas day). I'm planning to use the stairmaster tomorrow. Oh, a question for anyone who has the WATP tape. It came with a band -- but when do you use it??? LS never used it.

Got DVD's that were on my wish list. Jessica gave me a cookbook that I'm going to return. I know she got it at Amazon. The one I really want is out of stock and has been for a while. But I didn't tell her this. I did ask for two donut pans, Denise just got me one. She probably didn't see that I asked for two, so that's OK. Didn't get my HRM, tho. I don't think it's all that expensive, but whatever...... Jess gave me a zumba DVD that I asked for. I had a feeling that she would, she likes zumba and we've talked about how the DVD has different levels. I'll start at the absolute beginner level and hopefully be able to sort-of get the hang of it.

I have a few cookies that I'll leave out in case Jess or Denise want some, but once we take Denise to the airport, I'll put them in the freezer and then give them away.

Colleen - sounds like you just had a heavenly Christmas with gd. Good question - Cheryl - do you still log your exercise at MFP?

Hope everyone has a great evening.

Michele

Good Christmas Day evening,

Had a lovely day with my DD"s waking me up at 0730 to open gifts!
Went to my MIL"s house around noon, for brunch. I ate just simple
Foods that I could estimate the calories!
There were many sweets there, but i was not interested in them!
This is really a NSV for me! I knew that eating sweets would put my
Mind into a feeding like frenzy , and I just didn't want to go there!
I also did not want to spend my calories on a " sweet treat" just because
It was a holiday!
Who is this woman??? My DH brought home a box of see's. candy a week ago. It has been
Sitting on the counter, and I did not eat a single piece!!

I think this old dog has learned some new habits!!!

DD#1 and I are having a scratchy throat this evening. Hope we are
Not getting the crud!!! I've got to keep up with the exercise!

Michele, that must be so hard for you as a mom with Denise.
Sounds that she's in a relationship that is not healthy for
Her, and it sure wont help her mature. I will pray for her!

Barbie, that is nice you can go walking when ever you want!
I would not feel safe at all in San Diego going for a walk alone
In the dark! There are still some lovely community's left in the world!

Cheryl- wow, that was some drama! Glad that MIL is ok. Sounds like
Some much needed words got exchanged!

Well, I read all the posts, but my throat is really getting to me and
Making me cough!!
I will close for now! Sorry that this post is messed up, but I have not
Learned all the tricks on the phone yet!
Sweet dreams ladies, tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning!
Hugs, LindaS

Good morning beautiful ladies:flowerforyou:

Colleen Glad you enjoyed that wonderful visit!!! Cuddles and kisses from grandkids are the BEST !!!!

Michele Sorry that you`re having such difficulities with Denise. I agree with Linda, it sure sounds like an unhealthy relatationship she`s in! Not a lot at that age you can do about it though, sometimes we just have to let them go on their path and take responsibility for their own actions, not easy to do though, hopefully one day she`ll open her eyes and see SFB for what he is!

Linda Congrats for not being tempted by those sweets...great NSV!!!! Hope you feel better soon!!!

Katla I`d like to see The Hobbit too, good to know you enjoyed it!

I`m feeling a bit under the weather myself this morning. I was exhausted last night and went to bed really early, and of course I was up this morning at 4:30:noway: , with a scratchy throat and a horrible headache, lots of sinus pressure too...ICK!!! Oldest granddaughter is sick with a cold, hope I didn`t pick it up from her. I need to go the drug store and pick up my Synthroid today, I`ll need it for tomorrow, however we are expecting heavy rain and wind today and at the moment I really really don`t want to go out! Oh well, I`ll decide once I finally get my shower and see how I`m feeling then.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day and gets back to dinking the water:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: and logging the food!

Hugs,
DeeDee

To those who know Dixie, I got an email from her yesterday, she`s doing okay as okay can be, the first Christmas without Lee...
She said she`s thinking about coming back to MFP, she`s moved and is getting settled in right now. I, of course told her we would all love for her to come back!

Michele it's to bad kids don't realize all we do for them until there in there 30's and for some longer. Sorry she is causing so much uneeded stress.

I have to share this with all of you. We went to the children mass on Christmas eve. The priest had forgot to apoint a child to carry baby Jesus. So he came and asked his niece my grandaughter if she would do it. And she said she was to shy. My grandson a whole 4 years old and you know Chirstmas eve the walls aren't splitting but almost. He pipes up well then can I do it. My son thought oh year. He'll be coming with that doll by a leg. But he did a perfect job. The priest is my daughter in laws uncle so the kids know him well. I'll share the picture when hubby gets it downloaded. I was a proud Gramma. It shows the little ones there's more to Christmas than Santa.

Hope Santa treated you all right. Now if he could only have come and got some lbs from me I would have gladly shared.

I have until Jan. 2nd to figure out this pedometer. Son couldn't get me nothing plain and simple to operate must need a university degree. But i'm sure someone will be over with more smarts than me.

So not to many leftovers and wishing you all a great day.

Linda

Sundance and DeeDee, both under the weather? My entire family just went through taking turns being sick, my husband was by far the sickest. Hope y'all feel better soon.

Linda - oh my. Is Denise your only child? It is so difficult to see our children self destruct and feel useless to intervene. My 34 year old stays unemployed, drinks waaayyyy too much, and probably weighs 300 pounds. And this was the kids who was an athlete and graduated top 10% of his class. I always feel when he went to college I let go of him too soon. I just trust him to continue to be the same person I raised. But in college he started playing video games and it consumed him, I am convinced.

I don't log exercise into MFP because my fitbit adds any additional calories I burn back into my total calories I can consume. And I often think it adds too many, so I won't add any additional ones.

Well hopefully for a few days everyone can stay on track of their calories. New Year's eve should be my last bad day.

Cheryl

Kaitla
Son is gone back to the mines. He works 7 in 7 out. So be home New Year's Day. If it isn't going by then he will have to set it for me.

Colleen
How nice is that to stay the same through Chirstmas. Now do the same for New years and wouldn't that be great. I didn't do all bad not even a lb gain. Just barely gaining. Hope to have it off for tops tomorrow night.

Cheryl
Michelle is having problems with daughter. Not me I was blessed with boys. And there in the stage of there lives that they know who I am now. LOL there no longer in there 20's.
It's good to know your body. You know that if your under you might want to eat more.

Take care all and hope the day is going great.

the day after; usually it is a sad kind of day as I so enjoy all there is about Christmas but today I am feeling happy and ready to de-decorate or at least partially. I usually try to redo a room or add something new to my home for the New Year and this year I am going to paint by guest bath so I am a wee bit eager but I won't start until after the first when everyone has returned to their schedules.

Like so many Dallas area did get a snowy Christmas day. It stormed and rained heavily all night Christmas eve then about mid-day Christmas day it changed to snow. It snowed until about dusk (pic below).

Cheryl, right there with you as my oldest son didn't make it past high school and he thinks he's a Toy's R Us kid - he never wants to grow up and I don't think he does...but I love him. I just don't make excuses for him.

Colleen, happy for your daughter; I hope she found the man that makes her happy and healthy.

well, I need to get busy - I've been in this chair working most of the morning and time to move it!

DeeDee- Thanks for the update on Dixie. I am sure she is going through a very difficult time. I hope she does come back to us so we can all send her lots of hugs.
Hope you feel better quickly!

Michelle- I am sorry your daughter is in a bad relationship. It is so hard as a parent to watch them struggle. One of my daughter is going through a tough time right now. I would love to rescue her, but I know I have to let her find her own way. She knows I am here for her.

We had a great time with family for two days. I really miss my two children who could not get home, but we had long phone conversations. I guess that has to do for now. We will get together soon. Everyone is happy and healthy. That is the most important part. My food intake was up and I ate more "junk" calories than I have in over a year. Today has been much better.

We are on the verge of getting our first major storm of the year. We should get 8 to 12 inches of snow. We are all ready for it. Today DH and I bought him new cross-country skiis and we waxed mine. Even if we can't drive anywhere, we can step out our door and ski around our house. We live on a dead-end road out in the country. Can't wait!!

Have a great evening all!

Deb A

barbie - you are just like the people in "A Christmas Story". Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant....lol

katla and everyone who commented about Denise -- One thing I say is "thank goodness I'm in NC". This way I don't have to see it day-to-day. My suspicion is that he may not be continuing to physically abuse her. I know he did when we lived in PA. He also mentally abused her, one time she was late picking him up from work and she kept apologizing to him because she was in an accident (not serious) and had to wait for the police to make their report. He got on her case about it! I tell you, when I'd take her to work and see the marks on her chest from his physical abuse, it would make me sick, literally. She always had an excuse "oh, I scratched myself". Come on! Who scratches themselves so hard that they make themselves bleed???? But she has a very hard time with any change, which I think is part of the reason she's staying with him. He has a "sugar mamma" and she doesn't deal well at all with change (and his family enables this. To me, his mother is paying bills right now, but what's going to happen when she's no longer here? Does he seriously think his step-father -- who threw him out of the house -- is going to give him thousands and thousands of dollars? To me, hard as it is, part of being a parent is letting kids fall but being there to catch them, not doing everything for them). I remember when we moved from Stroudsburg to Kennett Square. she wrote me a note saying how she hated it and didn't want to move but we made her. Now she's LEGALLY an adult so there's not much we can do, except not enable.

DeeDee - thanks for the update about Dixie. How I wish she'd come back! Give her my best next time you communicate with her.

Lin - I honestly don't think I realized all that my father did for me until he passed away. Oh, I realized a lot when I became a mother, but I still miss him and many times wish I could ask him a question. That must have been so beautiful watching your gransdon carrying the baby Jesus.

Did an hour on the stairmaster (speed intervals) today. Tomorrow I'll do a Jari Love Revved to the Max DVD. This is a new DVD and I need to just be sure that there isn't a problem with it. Got a lot of new DVD's so I'll be spending a lot of time doing them, in case there's a problem and I need to return them. Hey, that was another good reason for sending my wish list at Amazon. Then if there's a problem I know where to send the item to return it, and Amazon is so good with returns. Didn't get my HRM, it's not that it's that expensive. Well, I will probably buy it for myself then. Jessica got me a cookbook. The one I wanted is unavailable at Amazon. But she wrapped it in the box that Amazon sent the book in, so when I call them to return it, I can give them numbers from the shipping label. I didn't tell her that I needed to return it, I'll just do it after she leaves.

These last two days have been constant non-stop eating of goodies. I'm not munching on the goodies as much and feel so much better. There are still a few things that I will need to finish up (like those pierogi), but after that it's back to decent eating.

I went to WalMart today, I had coupons for $1 off 2bags of Mars candy. Why I bought as much as I did, I have no idea. Well, I guess I'll give it away. I should really have bought just some and saved the coupons for after-Valentines day. I like to get candy to send to the lady in Poland who took care of my father when he was so sick

Colleen - I wish I could say that I stayed the same thru the holidays, but I can't. Good for you!!!!

Liz - you know, it's weird, Denise has champaigne tastes. I'm not kidding. We asked for a Christmas list from each kid, one of the items on her list was a necklace for over $300! Then she sent an addendum for a pair of boots that were over $150. Yet she's living with this guy who only graduated high school. I'm not saying this because she's my daughter, but she can do so much better. Yet she stays with him. From our understanding they don't have cable and other things. Now you would expect that someone who wants a $300 necklace would certainly want cable! But she has such a hard time dealing with change of any sort. I highly doubt she'll ever be able to afford a house. So sad, she wasn't brought up that way. Admitted, we didn't have a mansion, but we did have a house. This spring (and summer) will be landscaping, landscaping, landscaping for us. Loved reading how happy you are with your home, you know what you sacrificed for it and that makes it mean so much more.

You know, I think the hardest part for me regarding Denise is knowing that SFB's mother and really whole family ALWAYS come to their rescue. Kids don't learn if you constantly do things for them. They have to learn themselves. That family isn't helping her mature any at all. But I'm sure in a sense I know why. The mother will do anything to keep her son out of their house, even if she had to cosign for a second apartment after getting burned for $2,000. How a mother can let her husband throw her son out of the house is beyond me. This is her second husband. Who was there first, the second husband or or son?

I just didn't want much at all for dinner tonight. Well, tomorrow I'm going to have a pear before I do that DVD and then some salmon for breakfast. I'm certainly going to try getting back on track.

Hope everyone has a great evening.

Michele

Hello ladies - have been suffering from Vitamin F deficiency!!! Now I've read your posts and all is well..........

Unlike most of you, I did not have any holiday gatherings or temptations. I spent Christmas with my father at the nursing home. He had their Christmas dinner, I brought my homemade big salad and tangerine. So I've logged, not eaten anything at all indulgent BUT I did just sit quietly with my dad yesterday and didn't even move around much. Just sat with him in his room and he kept dozing off and I read my book. My walking was waaaaay down for the day so that's my indulgence, a very low mileage total for the 25th.

I have no New Year's get togethers either so all I have to do is stay well. With so much illness around, that may be the most difficult thing to do. My head is swollen, my eyes heavy and my nose looks like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I was so sick to my stomach this morning that I couldn't move much. Add it all up and it equals sinus problems. I'm just going to hope and pray it goes away. (If you have any home remedies, send them my way.............)

Hugs all 'round.

Lin