Need Support... PLEASE
smykael
Posts: 26
My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years and in those 2 years I have 90 pounds.. I need to lose it. I need help does anyone have advise on how not to give up on myself.. It seems like every time I do really good I give up.. I hate it! I need help figuring out how to be consistent... Any advice? I really need it.
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Replies
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Since you mentioned that you have both gained 90lbs in 2 years and been with your boyfriend for 2 years, I would imagine the two are related.
If you are in happy lovers bliss mode and the 2 of you enjoy eating and watching movies, change your activities during this "honeymoon phase" to something physcial you both enjoy.
If he is pressuring you to lose 90lbs, then that's a whole nother story... I'm going to hope the cause is the first one.0 -
I'm the only one who has gained weight and it's the honeymoon stage.. It feels like all I do is eat.0
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I've gained weight over the course of my marriage. Having kids, laziness at times and poor food choices. I can admit that now. But, you know what I'm changing that now. It's just a matter of staying motivated
. Add me if you'd like I'm always looking for new friends working towards the same goal. 0 -
HI. I just got back on this site after five months of being "burnt out" or at least I thought I was. I was having a pity party..4 real! I was craving attention and I would do anything to get it..including go to resturtants where, let's face it, they preatty much HAVE to be nice to you. yep, I was THAT bored. Then I came to realise that it wasn't enough. and no amount of food ever would be. So my big idea would be, get involved with a group hobbie, one that get's you out of the house. our quilting group brings their own lunches to the after-meeting lessons so there's no pressure. And I'm gone start doing lesille sansone vidoes too when my foot is better.
otherwise, you need friedns who are not going to make it worse for you by underminding your efforts. I belong to a weight loss group that have been patient with me while I figure all this out.0 -
I'm the only one who has gained weight and it's the honeymoon stage.. It feels like all I do is eat.
Nope! Did that too lol!0 -
Then stop eating so much. It's that simple. Don't go the other extreme and try to go on a ultra low calorie diet. Figure out what it would take to lose one pound a week and make that your goal. Your first post says every time you do really good you mess it up. My guess is that your trying to go crazy low calorie and lose it as fast as possible. This isn't the healthiest way to lose the weight and its usually not sustainable long term. Eventually you'll give up and gain it back plus some.It feels like all I do is eat.
If your hungry all the time your not doing it right. Set a reasonable deficit and stick to it. Log every thing thing that goes into your mouth. Make healthier choices. There are some that claim calories is all that counts but I believe that their is a difference in calories. I can eat a giant bag of Doritos and still be hungry. But if I eat a cup of broccoli or a banana my hunger stays away longer. So avoid processed foods, eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies.0 -
Then stop eating so much. It's that simple.0
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See that's the problem it's not simple for me.. It's like I have no self control. I don't understand it.0
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Feel free to add me as a friend.
I know its not always as simple as people say it is.
I could use the extra friend as motivation for myself, and I'll be sure to help you hold yourself accountable as well.
I know it's hard, and I also know that you can do it!0 -
Does this describe you "Binge eating disorder involves eating very large amounts of food in a short period of time and feeling a sense of loss of control while eating. It often happens at times of stress, anger, boredom or distress and at these times is used as a way of coping with challenging emotions."?0
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If it does I highly recommend this book "Overcoming Bulimia Nervosa and Binge-Eating" by Peter Cooper. Then read it. Then follow it. Religiously. It's the best $25 I have ever spent.0
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It really isn't all that simple. If it were, there wouldn't be so many overweight/obese people.
Then stop eating so much. It's that simple.0 -
Anyone can feel free to add me as well. I am at the start of my journey as well and we are similar. Since being with my b/f I have gained a lot! Then again, we were eating fast food all the time and just not doing anything active. Now we are both wanting to eat less and healthier and be more active. I can always use the extra support and I can help cheer you on as well! Lately, if I am just feeling like I need to constantly eat, I will grab a bag of salad and eat it, kinda like I would have done with chips lol0
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I'm happy you understand and YES that does sound like me. I talk to my boyfriend about having no control and he just doesn't understand he truly tries too.. He just says, "Hon if you don't want to eat like you do then don't." He see's how upset I get and he feels like he's on the ropes no clue what to say and I just need help from someone other than him because he shouldn't be put in this situation it's not fair to him...0
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It sounds to me like you are eating for a lot of reasons other than hunger. This was me all over. This year has been hard, with lots of ups and downs. Figuring out the reasons why you eat has to be the starting point, but it can be hard to face. A lot of the time it might simply be boredom. It could be that you're trying not to express your feelings and instead you're suffocating your words with food (this is me). A really good place to start is to get an exercise book and write down what you are going to eat - before you eat it. Next to that write down WHY you are going to eat it. Score your hunger. If it's not hunger that's driving you to eat, ask yourself what is?? As I said, it's hard. It's simple, but not easy. Sometimes you may have absolutely no idea why you want to eat the entire contents of the pantry, and you will go ahead and eat and eat and eat. When this happens try not to beat yourself up about it. Keep asking yourself, why did I do that (while not judging yourself, hard I know) eventually you will begin to figure out your own specific triggers, the situations, feelings, people, whatever that drive you to eat. Once you know them, having a list of things to do instead (like logging on here, or reading, or going for a walk etc) you can start to make changes that will help you to your goal0
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No it is that simple.
It really isn't all that simple. If it were, there wouldn't be so many overweight/obese people.
Then stop eating so much. It's that simple.
Calories in < calories out = weight loss
It's not that simple to do but weight loss is that simple.0 -
I have a daughter that has gained weight in her current relationship she eats with him too much. Sorry but females CAN NOT eat the same as males. You need to eat less than him.0
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I understand women's bodies are no where near as forgiving as men's.0
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No it is that simple.
It really isn't all that simple. If it were, there wouldn't be so many overweight/obese people.
Then stop eating so much. It's that simple.
Calories in < calories out = weight loss
It's not that simple to do but weight loss is that simple.
Okay I understand now. I misunderstood. You must think of losing weight on the logical level (like my boyfriend) I think of it as more an emotional process. But in all honesty I wish I could think of it as a logical process. First, because it makes more sense that way. Second, because it's a lot less pain (emotional) and third, I just believe I'd have a higher success rate then i currently do.0 -
Then stop eating so much. It's that simple. Don't go the other extreme and try to go on a ultra low calorie diet. Figure out what it would take to lose one pound a week and make that your goal. Your first post says every time you do really good you mess it up. My guess is that your trying to go crazy low calorie and lose it as fast as possible. This isn't the healthiest way to lose the weight and its usually not sustainable long term. Eventually you'll give up and gain it back plus some.It feels like all I do is eat.
If your hungry all the time your not doing it right. Set a reasonable deficit and stick to it. Log every thing thing that goes into your mouth. Make healthier choices. There are some that claim calories is all that counts but I believe that their is a difference in calories. I can eat a giant bag of Doritos and still be hungry. But if I eat a cup of broccoli or a banana my hunger stays away longer. So avoid processed foods, eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies.
Good advice. Reasonable calorie deficit and getting some form of exercise is important. Eat 5 or 6 small meals a day and eat healthy foods. Chicken breasts, fish for proteins and fruits and vegetables. You won't be hungry at all.0 -
No it is that simple.
It really isn't all that simple. If it were, there wouldn't be so many overweight/obese people.
Then stop eating so much. It's that simple.
Calories in < calories out = weight loss
It's not that simple to do but weight loss is that simple.
Okay I understand now. I misunderstood. You must think of losing weight on the logical level (like my boyfriend) I think of it as more an emotional process. But in all honesty I wish I could think of it as a logical process. First, because it makes more sense that way. Second, because it's a lot less pain (emotional) and third, I just believe I'd have a higher success rate then i currently do.
As I have battled weight loss over the last 15+ years, I realize that to take this head on and with tenacity, for one, it takes a power higher than yourself. Two, it has to been looked at from a logical AND emotional point of view.
In the logic sense, it is calories in/calories out. My brother was real rigid like that. But some of us see it differently (not just girls either).
Emotionally, it has to be a self acceptance of you now. Accept where you are at, and where you would like to go, and what you have to do to get there. Know that the process is different for you. The success stories are good to see, but don't get too caught up in the hype. You have to find what works for you, and STICK with it. Even if you fall off, come back. Don't allow one bad choice to ruin all of your hard work. Recognize what drives you to make unhealthy choices. Then, as you get a decent enough handle on that, you can begin to see the logic, as you begin to see your body change...
So, start emotionally, then add the logic when you feel you have a good understanding of your behavior on the emotional level...0 -
[/quote] Okay I understand now. I misunderstood. You must think of losing weight on the logical level (like my boyfriend) I think of it as more an emotional process. But in all honesty I wish I could think of it as a logical process. First, because it makes more sense that way. Second, because it's a lot less pain (emotional) and third, I just believe I'd have a higher success rate then i currently do.
[/quote]
As I have battled weight loss over the last 15+ years, I realize that to take this head on and with tenacity, for one, it takes a power higher than yourself. Two, it has to been looked at from a logical AND emotional point of view.
In the logic sense, it is calories in/calories out. My brother was real rigid like that. But some of us see it differently (not just girls either).
Emotionally, it has to be a self acceptance of you now. Accept where you are at, and where you would like to go, and what you have to do to get there. Know that the process is different for you. The success stories are good to see, but don't get too caught up in the hype. You have to find what works for you, and STICK with it. Even if you fall off, come back. Don't allow one bad choice to ruin all of your hard work. Recognize what drives you to make unhealthy choices. Then, as you get a decent enough handle on that, you can begin to see the logic, as you begin to see your body change...
So, start emotionally, then add the logic when you feel you have a good understanding of your behavior on the emotional level...
[/quote]
That was great advice.. Thank you.0
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