Grudge

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  • Rum_Runner
    Rum_Runner Posts: 617 Member
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    I dont hold grudges, I just eliminate ppl from my life.

    Ditto!! I just kick them out of my life and move on. They're not worth the space in your head.

    Friends/acquaintances....yes - but even family? That seems much harder to do!

    I live 1,000 miles away from family so its much easier. Ignore Calls...plus I dont do facebook.

    We live far from family too, but my mom is still very close to my aunt ....whom I'm holding the grudge. So it makes for awkward moments with my mother. Eh..... :ohwell:
  • themedalist
    themedalist Posts: 3,215 Member
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    I understand that some actions are difficult/impossible to forgive, but many of my in-laws feel so wronged by the actions that others have done to them, that they cannot see anyone else's perspective or consider that they may have a role in their own misery. It's always someone else's fault. It's a huge neon sign for me on how NOT to go through life.
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
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    I don't normally hold grudges; however, after the same family members *kitten* on me and my one son again and again, I finally cut them from my life. My son does have a relationship with them today, but again, only when they see fit, but I do not. Their loss.
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
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    I hold them for a while and then eliminate. I think the grudge is the vehicle I need to get over that person and I eliminate when I no longer care.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I forgive but I never forget. I will always and forever be suspicious.
  • Ghkffb56
    Ghkffb56 Posts: 263 Member
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    im over it the next day.. nothing you can do .. so screw it.. move on..
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    I dont hold grudges, I just eliminate ppl from my life.

    Ditto!! I just kick them out of my life and move on. They're not worth the space in your head.

    Friends/acquaintances....yes - but even family? That seems much harder to do!

    I live 1,000 miles away from family so its much easier. Ignore Calls...plus I dont do facebook.

    We live far from family too, but my mom is still very close to my aunt ....whom I'm holding the grudge. So it makes for awkward moments with my mother. Eh..... :ohwell:

    I wouldn't call it a grudge, but choosing to not have that specific person in your life.

    My biological father was never really a father. He has spent my entire life in & out of prison due to substance abuse issues, theft, parole violations, etc....
    My DAD who raised me, well we didn't have a good relationship either
    When I got pregnant for my daughter I decided to put the past in the past and make amends with both of them. Give them a chance to be grandfathers. My Dad has changed. He's not the man I grew up with and a wonderful Grandpa to my daughter. We don't have a father-daughter relationship but we're friends.
    My biological father however saw my daughter when she was about 3 or 4 months old.....he then did what he does best. I made up my mind right then that he was not going to be a part of my life or my daughter's. That was almost 6 years ago.
    He called me a year later and I told him off basically and he never tried contacting me again.
    The tricky part is the once or twice a year I have to see him at family get togethers heh we don't speak, we don't make eye contact. My grandfather is in his 80s though and I don't want to miss out on time spent with him or time with my Aunts & Uncles.

    Last function, my bio-father's girlfriend actually spoke to me (I don't think she realized who I was) .... I must admit I wasn't friendly. I just gave her an icy stare and went back to talking to my cousin I had been talking to.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Jehovah's Witnesses have held a class action grudge against me since 1999 - with threats that anyone still willing to talk, eat or socialize with me in any way, shape or form, is welcome to join me in banishment from existence in the eyes of the church.
  • SlickFootAnna
    SlickFootAnna Posts: 611 Member
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    Grudges are the cancer of the soul.
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    I never forget when I have been wronged.

    I will not necessarily 'forgive', but you will never regain my full trust, if any at all.
  • RockandRoseRebel
    RockandRoseRebel Posts: 35 Member
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    I don't ever forget what people do, whether good or bad, but I'm terrible at holding grudges. Usually when I get angry, I get over it in under a day, sometimes significantly less. I think the longest I ever stayed mad was a week and that was because I was purposely trying to hold a grudge because I didn't know you could just let people fade out of your life if you didn't want them there, I thought you had to hate them. Now I know that if I don't like someone, I don't have to have them in my life, I don't need a grudge to keep them out. Which is good because I forgive over and over, even when I don't think they deserve it. Doesn't mean I trust them though, especially if they've proved over and over that they're not trustworthy, it just means I'm not mad at them for being a pathetic excuse for a human being.

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